I find it's a lot harder to sneak off than I had initially thought it would be.
I only plan on being gone a few minutes, just so I can get back to the medical center. I need to do this to feel completely at ease and prepared for what's supposed to happen today... or tomorrow. It's hard to tell. We think the zombies will be here in a few hours, but you never know with them. They move steadily, but currents can slow them down. They may be resilient, but their bodies are still decaying corpses.
If the ocean decides to sweep them away, it will, no matter how badly the zombies want to come here.
However, Janine has us set up a few camps in case nightfall comes around and we feel too tired to stay awake. She has arranged for shifts so some people will stay awake while the rest of us sleep; after a few hours, it will change. I believe she's set up the same system for the other two groups part of this plan.
I'm sure it's not the most ideal, but it is what it is.
However, with all of us here with supplies to keep us from needing to leave, I'm having a difficult time finding an excuse to get out of here. I doubt Janine would let me go if I told her I wanted to go see Nicole one last time, just in case something happens. She would tell me that I am not going to die today, and I shouldn't even think about it. And Nicole isn't even in the medical center at the moment. She's with Sam on coms, the two of them both seeming to get along well enough for now.
But because she's on coms, if I wanted to, I could say my thinly veiled goodbyes to her and Sam that way.
I shouldn't be thinking about goodbyes. I should be telling myself that everything is fine. That everything will be fine, as if that will make feel better. I know worrying will do me no good, but neither will me lying to myself and assuming that this plan will go flawlessly. And honestly, saying goodbye or thinking about the worst that could happen isn't why I want to get back to the medical center.
No, the reason I want to go back to the medical center is so I can sit on my laptop, tap away at the keys, and put on a spare headset so I can talk to Peter one last time before it all goes down. And I don't want to do it to say goodbye or act as if I'm scared. Because even though I am a bit scared, I really just want to talk to my friend again since I didn't get the chance to yesterday.
It's just like how it felt when he was in Banktown. There's a dull ache that reminds me he's not here, and I hate it.
But trying to get away isn't going to be easy. No one is paying me any attention right now, but I'm sure people would notice if I disappeared suddenly. And since I've still got my headset on and there are cameras set up on multiple areas, Sam would surely spot me trying to leave. He would know why I'm sneaking off, and I doubt he or Nicole would approve. Nicole definitely wouldn't, even though she is the one who set the computer up in the first place.
She'd say I'm letting my emotions get the better of me during a time of emergency or something like that. She's managed to keep her feelings rather well in check, even with her interest in Rory. She told him they would see each other after, but he needed to do as told and stay in the laird's mansion, and she would do her job. I don't think he liked that very much, considering how she still has multiple stitches in her head from what happened not even a full week ago. But trying to deter Nicole isn't something you can do easily.
I'm just glad she's doing her job as a coms operator with Sam rather than being risky and working out in the field like Janine. I think Tom's been subtly trying to persuade her to let him do the McShell Maneuver with me instead, but she's having none of it.
My eyes follow Tom as he stands, eyes peeled, face fixed with determination. I think the only time his expression changes is when Jody says something to him over the headset. That bit of warmth that comes from his smile when she speaks shows how much he loves her.
I never made a promise to Jody, but I do want to make sure Tom remains safe. After what I heard... I was yelling at him. I yelled at him to stop, but I didn't hear of any outcome. I think that worries me more than if I had heard an outcome.
How ironic that Tom wants to make sure I stay safe due to my immortality, but it may be him that needs to be saving.
Well, it's not like I'm entirely safe either...
I don't want to think about that. Instead, I keep my eyes on Tom as he says a few words to some of the volunteers in Shona's group. I know I'm not the only one watching him right now. I've already spotted a couple of the younger women eyeing with awe and admiration. I'm sure Tom's noticed. He always knows when he's being watched, but he's paid them no mind. I'm sure he finds it odd.
He's not known as Janine's crazy brother here like he is in Abel. He's not used to people looking at him like that besides Jody, and he pursued her first.
"Are you ready?"
It takes everything in me not to scream at the sound of a new voice. I spin around to see Shona staring at me with curious brown eyes, slightly amused that she managed to scare me.
"Don't do that," I hiss, and she simply giggles.
"Sorry. I thought you heard me walk up."
"No, I was too busy thinking."
"About what?"
I give her a look that tells her she doesn't really need to ask, and she nods.
"Right."
"Is there something you needed?" I ask her, raising a brow. My words have a neutral tone, carefully masking my slight annoyance of her being here since that adds yet another obstacle stopping me from getting back from the medical center.
She shrugs. "Just a cure for my boredom. Not much we can do but wait now, is there?"
"No, unfortunately not. Zombies are horribly predictable. The ocean currents... they're less so." I sigh. "But they'll get here eventually, and we'll need to be here, ready for them."
Shona nods, letting silence linger between us for a quick moment before speaking again. "Did you get to take a look at the barbed wire we tied around the rocks? Pretty clever, aye?"
I shake my head. "Clever, yes, but I haven't looked at them. I try to stay away from the cliffs. Heights... make me uneasy."
"Oh." She sounds surprised, and an almost sheepish smile spreads across her face when I give her a raised brow. "Sorry. I just–with everything I've heard of Abel going through, I never thought heights would be what bothered you."
"I've always had a small fear of it, and it just got worse when I arrived in Abel. My helicopter was shot down, and I had to jump out. I've had similar situations that just added fuel to the fire."
She hums. "I guess that makes sense."
"Even if it doesn't, it's still something I'm afraid of."
A light laugh leaves her lips. "Anything else you're afraid of?"
"I-" My breath gets caught in my throat. There are a lot of things I'm afraid of, too many to count, and a lot of them tie back to the heavy burdens I've always got on my shoulders due to what I've been through at Abel and in America.
There's no need for me to unload all of that on Shona, not when she has her own current burdens to face.
"Target," I answer, and she blinks.
"Target?"
"Yeah. You know, that big supply store in America that has like a bullseye as the logo?"
"Why are you afraid of it?"
I shrug. "It just gave me the creeps when I was a kid before the apocalypse."
Not to mention I was kidnapped in one.
She laughs again. "Well, I'm glad you're at least able to joke around. I was a bit worried for you there yesterday after your incident."
"Incident?"
Two voices repeat that word, and we both freeze. I take a second to close my eyes and swallow, fully aware of Shona's terrified gaze on me. I open my eyes and turn around and see Tom standing there, because of course he is.
"It's rude to eavesdrop," I say before tapping my finger on my mic. "Both of you."
"I think the term is all of you," Sam corrects, and I curse myself for forgetting that they were listening even though they crossed my mind mere minutes ago. "Nicole is in here too. Now, what incident are you talking about?"
"I just got a little dizzy yesterday," I lie. "Needed to sit down for a bit. Probably was just dehydrated or something."
"Feeling dizzy isn't exactly what I would call an incident," Tom replies, and I hate how good he is at seeing through my bullshit. He glances down at my hands, waiting to see if I'll reach up and grab at my backpack strap, show my nervousness. It takes everything in me not to do it.
"Well, it was, and she did," I respond as casually as possible. I glance at Shona, my face silently demanding that she leave. She notices, babbling out some kind of excuse that she has to get back to her group before scurrying off.
I look back at Tom. "I know what you're thinking, but I'm not going to mess up when Janine and I do that McShell Maneuver. I'm not going to do anything that would put her in danger. And Sam, I really am fine so don't think-"
"You saw something, didn't you?" Sam interrupts, and my breath gets caught in my throat.
"Something?" Nicole repeats, before huffing. "Oh, you mean one of those weird vision things she sees? Isn't that because you're a clone, Singer?"
"Honestly, we're not sure. But that's what happened, isn't it?"
I don't say anything for a second. "Who all can hear us?"
"It's just us and Tom."
The sigh I let out is heavy. "Yes, I... well, I saw and heard some stuff."
"Callista, you promised-" Sam starts, his voice rising in anger, but I quickly cut him off.
"I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wait until after this. A horde of zombies coming straight for us trumps the cryptic stuff I heard that won't make sense until it happens. Plus, you're..."
"I'm...?" His voice is still tense.
"You said that I was one of the few... okay people in our group right now, all things considered. And you're usually the one comforting me, and you don't need anything else to be added on that will make you worry." I rub the side of my face. "I thought if I told you about it after this, it wouldn't be as bad."
Tom frowns. "As bad? Just what did you see?"
"Hear," I correct. "Didn't see much of anything."
His frown deepens at my avoiding the question. I sigh again, knowing there's no way I'll be getting back to the medical center if I don't tell them what they want to know.
"I heard Jones."
Sam chokes through the headset. "And you didn't feel like that was an important thing to tell us?!"
"That we'll see him again?" The scoff that leaves my lips is accompanied by the makings of a sneer. "Like we didn't already know that. And all he was doing was rambling on about how there's stuff going on on the island that we don't know about and that it's rotten to the core. Typical crazy talk."
"But you still saw it, and that must mean something. Usually when you see something, it's important."
"Not as important as what we're doing right now," I reply.
"Right now, we are doing nothing but waiting."
"Which is all we can do, and you know it."
Tom cocks his head to the side, studying me. "Did you see or hear anything else?"
I swallow, doing my best to keep my expression neutral. "I heard your voice, and mine and Shona's. I think we were all together when we saw Jones."
"Just like we are now."
I roll my eyes. "We were calm, or at least, not frantic. I can only think this is after we deal with the zombies barreling towards us." I cross my arms when he gives me a look that tells me he doesn't really believe what I'm saying. "Look. We've seen that Jones is a lot smarter than we've given him credit for. Do you genuinely think he would put himself at risk and come to us when he has sent a ton of zombies marching straight towards us? He may have some weapons to fend off the zoms, but why would he put himself in that situation in the first place when he can sit back and just watch us all die?"
"Maybe he wants to make sure we can't pull off this plan and actually make it out alive," Sam suggests, and I hold back the scoff scratching at the back of my throat.
"Please. Even Janine admits that our plan is on shaky legs, and human error normally wins out. Odds are something will go wrong even without Jones. And he knows that too. He's seen how our plans have gone. If he's going to try anything, it's not going to be here, not in town or out here or anywhere where he could get bitten. He's not come all this way just to die before he's seen us all gone."
Tom still looks at me with narrowed eyes, almost as if he's trying to see inside my head. He's good at that, so I keep my face as disinterested as possible, hoping my confidence will win out.
"There was nothing that gave me the impression that any of you were hurt, either," I lie. "I know that's what you're wondering."
No one says anything, and I sigh, forcing one of those smiles that you make when you know there's not going to be any sort of agreement but you're tired of arguing. "Look. I've been having these weird dreams and visions since I was fifteen. I know how this goes. You can analyze and argue all you want, but we're not going to have it figured out by the time it happens. We never do. So just... keep your eyes peeled but focus on what we've got going on right now. I don't–I've already made promises that I'd make sure Janine would come back safe-"
"You're not the only one who's made that kind of promise," Tom interrupts.
I blink, but don't ask why he felt the need to say that, even though he's looking at me as if I should. "Well, I've also made the promise that I'm not going to lose anyone else that I care about, either. So don't make me break that promise to myself because you were too busy worrying about what's going to happen sometime in the future instead of thinking about what's about to be on us in a few hours and end up getting hurt."
I don't say it, but I've already hurt Tom enough by nearly getting him killed on Niomh. And because I didn't put two and two together in time, I almost lost Nicole.
I won't lose them because of this.
•
I'm finally, finally, able to sneak off and get back to the med bay. I claimed to be having a headache and needing to take some aspirin and that I'd only be gone a few minutes since time is running short. The birds are getting closer, meaning the zombies are as well.
Thankfully Janine allowed it after I argued that I didn't want it to cause me to mess up the McShell maneuver and get us both killed. I'm surprised she bought it, but she did, and now I'm sneaking along the halls to get to the supply closet.
This time I clicked off my headset so Sam and Nicole wouldn't be able to eavesdrop like before. I'm still mentally kicking myself for being so stupid and forgetting my headset was on or that I was even wearing one. It's one of those things I wear so often, it's easy to forget it even exists if I don't have someone talking into my ear.
It's selfish to be doing this right now, but I can't stand sitting there waiting, nor can I stand to see Tom's blue-eyed gaze burning into me and picking me apart. I suppose I can understand why he distrusts me even though he's my friend. He's quick to pick up my patterns, my lies, and even quicker to call me out on them. He's the most honest friend I have, which I'm grateful for. I need someone who isn't afraid to call me out on my bullshit...
But it is oh so annoying in times like these when I'm trying to do the right thing, when I'm trying to do what's best for everyone by not causing excess worry.
There is no way we can stop whatever it was I heard from happening. We're going to meet up with Jones, and trying to find a way around it would be pointless. I've tried avoiding what I've seen before. It's never worked.
And we can't ever really be prepared because we don't know when it will happen. I never know when it's going to happen.
I was sixteen when I had my first vision of being bitten, and it didn't actually happen until I was eighteen. For two years I was haunted by that. But I've also had visions that came true only a few days after I had them.
As much as I wish it wasn't like this, I can't change it.
I understand that this gift that I have is one from God. It must be, and I should be grateful, but it's hard when your life feels so much out of your control. Of course, it would still be just the same as I didn't know, I suppose. I've never had any real control on these things. These visions just make that a bit more evident.
I finally reach the tiny supply closet, sneaking in like a little thief even though everyone in the village is in the laird's house. I'm sure Nicole and Sam have already guessed what I've gone to do even though I turned my headset off. I'm sure I'll get a lecture from one or both of them later, but at least I know they won't snitch on me, for their sakes if not mine.
I sit down and take off my headset before taking out the laptop and spare headset. I could of course use my own and just change the frequency, but another idea pops into my head. I quickly turn my first headset back on and turn the volume as high as I can get it. Grabbing a washcloth from the shelf, I wrap it around the mic to muffle the sound. It will allow me to hear if Sam or Nicole call for me.
I then turn on the spare headset, slip it on and open up the laptop, quickly logging on and sending a Roufflenet ping to Peter to see if he's in the coms shack. I wait for a minute, then two, nibbling on the inside of my cheek. As another minute ticks by, I find myself picking at my fingers and grabbing at my backpack strap.
Disappointment starts to set in after another minute passes, but I try my best to push the feeling down. I knew there was a chance he wouldn't be in the coms shack since he and Maxine were the ones Janine left in charge of running Abel while she was away. Still, I had hoped.
My hand hovers above the laptop keys, words floating through my mind as I think of what to say–how I don't have much time so I have to go, that I just wanted to talk to him since the zoms will be here soon. And if they happen to make it into the village, into the medical center, then chances are this laptop will either be found during the cleanup or destroyed in the wreckage.
It's a fear that I haven't really been wanting to face, but if either does happen, then it will mean I won't get to talk to Peter again until we get back to the mainland. And seeing that we've been here for almost a month and still haven't made the progress we'd hoped to...
My headset crackles, and I straighten immediately.
"Five?"
I gasp in glee. "Peter!"
He winces at my squeal. "You don't have to shout. I've got my volume up so I can hear you."
"Sorry, sorry," I say, although my bright tone of voice tells him I'm not really sorry at all. "I just didn't think you were in the coms shack and I'm going to have to get back soon and–well, I'm just happy to hear from you again."
"We talked a few days ago."
"A lot can happen in a few days."
There's a pause. "Has anything happened?"
"Just... preparing for the zombies. They should be here soon. Janine's come up with a plan-"
"She always does."
I let out a forced laugh. "Yeah. But it's not the strongest. A lot could go wrong–the normal stuff. Nicole's well enough to help Sam on coms, which is needed since this is a multi-part plan."
"And what about you?" He asks.
"What about me?"
"You got shot when you first got here, and didn't you hit your head pretty hard a week and a half ago?"
I scoff. "Old news. I'm fine. I've been shot and hit in the head before. And my job for the plan is pulling McShell maneuvers with Janine. And I actually helped Chris McShell test it out when he had that theory, so it's nothing new to me." I swallow, willing up the courage to change the subject and mentally pleading that he won't try to reel us back to it. "How're the kids?"
"Phineas hasn't set anymore sheds on fire, if that's what you're asking."
A laugh bursts from my throat before I have the chance to stop it. "That's good to hear. And Adora hasn't painted Bonnie any colors again?"
"No, I've made sure of that," He replies, sounding amused. "You know I'm the one that had to scrub all the paint off her fur. Took me hours."
"I'll find a way to make it up to you when I come back." My smile is soft, even though he can't really see it.
"And how do you plan to do that?"
"I'll figure something out. I'm good at a lot of things, including getting good gifts. I just have to make sure it doesn't go terribly wrong like the last gift I tried to get you." I'll never be able to tell him just how sorry I am that things went the way things went on that oil rig. Nor will I ever able to truly convey how much I hate myself for not just telling him about the nanites the night before.
I clear my throat. "Anyway, my point is I'll think of something. And it'll be great because there needs to be some way to show my appreciation to you for running the township and making sure my kids stay out of trouble, even though I honestly asked Summer to make sure Milo stays in line."
"She's actually been doing pretty well after the whole... incident. He's not been on any runs since then, but she's kept an eye on him during training and is making sure he's taking care of that wound while it heals. It's probably going to leave a scar, though."
I sigh dejectedly, shoulders slumping. "Lovely. He's lucky it wasn't a V-Type."
"I know."
"I can't imagine how I'd react if it had been."
"I know."
"I miss him, even though he's a brat ninety percent of the time." That last part is more of a jest, although I'm sure he's cross with me for asking Summer to look after him in the first place.
"Well," Peter says with a shrug in his voice, "so are you so-"
"Hey!"
He snickers at how easy his jab got me to react. "But he misses you too, you know. They all do."
I smile, but Peter's words bring more pain than comfort. "We weren't supposed to be gone this long. I know we've separated before, but it feels different since this time I chose to leave. I wasn't forced to."
"You had to."
I could say I know, or that he's right. But he isn't. I could have said no. Freshly mortal, tired, beat up from running around and nearly getting killed by Jones. I could have said no. I could have stayed in Abel while Nicole went as main runner and someone like Summer or Adam went as secondary. But no, I went because Sam was going, and I wasn't going to let him go alone because I would never be able to give myself if something happened to him and I wasn't there.
I choose this, and now I'm here facing the consequences.
"I want to go home," I say instead.
"We want you home."
A smile grin pulls at my lips. "Of course, you would. I just told you I'd be getting you something for taking care of Abel."
His scoff is a mixture of hilarity and mock offense. "How dare you think the only reason I want you back is for a gift. There's more to it than that."
"Like?"
"Like... I want to be able to see you and Tom spar and he inevitably kicks your arse. I never realized how entertaining that was until it's no longer something I can go out and see."
"You're so mean!" I shout dramatically.
"I am not. I'm funny and sarcastic and that's why you like me so much. Also, I miss having someone to stand in silence in the middle of the night in Abel."
"You know, saying it like that makes us sound like complete freaks."
"You mean we aren't?"
I make a face. "Fair point."
"And another reason I want you back home is just because I miss you," He says. "I think that type of things comes with the 'being best friends' thing we've got going on."
I huff out a laugh. "Again, fair point. I miss you too-"
"Five? Five are you there?" Sam's voice echoes from my other headset. "Callista?"
"I have to go," I tell Peter. "If I can, I'll contact you once we've dealt with the horde."
"Okay," He says, but his tone has changed. He sounds a bit nervous. "Stay safe."
"I'll try," I answer, before clicking off that headset and closing the laptop. I shove them in between the towels as Sam continues to call for me. I pull the washcloth from the mic of my other headset and slip it on. "I'm here. I'm here. Sorry."
"You need to get back to Janine and her group now," He tells me. Jody says the birds are closer and there are more zombies coming up. "We expect the full horde to be here in less than half an hour."
I'm already scrambling out of the supply closet and towards the door, sprinting to get out of the medical bay and back to the others. My heart flutters with anxiety at the thought, but I press my lips together and hope my face is one of bravery instead of fear.
Because it's almost time.
A/N: You all know Callista had to have her potential goodbye moment with Peter. Also build up chapters are somehow chapters I both love and hate to write haha. This chapter is dedicated to JohnWelsh2
Please be sure to vote and comment! Also only 2 more chapters until we go on hiatus! So get ready for an almost midseason for the book haha! Thank you all and have a blessed day!