A WHOLE WEEK SINCE I'd waken up, and I had yet to remember much.
Living with the Cullen's, I found myself playing the role of the stranger. My mind sat dormant in the shell of some girl, who I was too scared to look at in mirrors. My life turned out to be a tragic comedy, filled with pathetic moping and animal blood. Safe to say, my immortal life wasn't starting off on a great foot.
I came to terms with the fact I was starting anew. My memories were bound to come back, but I had no idea at what rate or how many. According to Carlisle, it was entirely circumstantial, but he didn't sound too confident.
It was a crisp spring morning, with a gentle breeze and sparse showers. The rain was warm, the kind you'd feel during a summer downpour. I let the light droplets hit me, enjoying the serenity of the quiet forest around me. A mug of tea sat in my hands as I stood, silent. To be surrounded by such peaceful scenery was a gift, vampire or human.
"...enjoying your tea?"
Before I could think I felt myself move across the patio, putting as much distance between me and the voice as possible. No doubt if I had a heartbeat, it would've been racing.
"I-I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry,"
My sights locked onto the hulking figure in the near distance, relief immediately washing over me.
"You're fine, I'm sorry. I don't know why I, ya know," I fumbled for words, "panic, so bad."
Emmett chuckled, the deepness of his voice reverberating in the soles of my feet. My senses were practically tingling after his sudden appearance.
"I scared you, and you're apologizing?"
He slowly began to approach me, each step more tentative than the last. A part of me felt cornered, but I had to scold those dark thoughts — I wasn't in danger.
"I-I guess I'm a bit of a spazz lately, I dunno," I stared down at the mug in my hand, entranced by nothing in particular.
I couldn't meet his gaze for the life of me.
"Ah, nobody blames ya," he hummed, suddenly turning to lean over the railing. He looked off into the distance, allowing me a good view of his side profile. He was chiseled, like his family, but more so. His jawline could cut glass, I was sure of it.
"You've all been so patient. I'm grateful."
I moved to stand next to him, both of us facing the forest. Still, I could see through my peripheral as he smiled, his tall form slouching even more. It was subtle but endearing. Like he wanted to be closer.
"It's... you know, it's kind of our fault you're in this situation anyway," his words came out slow, nervous.
I'd learned about what happened through bits and pieces, but I could only feel indifference towards everything. If I had no memories of before, there was nothing to be sad over.
I wondered if I was better off knowing nothing.
"I don't blame anyone-"
"Well, you should," his low voice had an edge to it, serrated and angry.
"I won't. No amount of blaming can change me now. Don't you get that?" I felt exasperated, struggling to express myself. "Everyone feels bad, but I don't," I looked up at him with a furrowed brow, "I don't... I don't feel much of anything. So why should you?"
He refused to look down at me, licking his lips in frustrated thought. Something within me said to take his silence and run with it.
"Emmett," he looked down as I called his name, "Emmett, look at me."
It took a few moments, but he listened, stubbornly turning to me with a childish pout.
Cute.
"Every day I have to wake up and think about nothing. There aren't any memories to reminiscence over, no plans with friends, nothing. Just a whole lot of disappointed looks from y'all. I'm constantly reminded, every time I try to have a conversation with one of you, that you're waiting for someone to come back. And- and I don't even know who that person is! I'm just... I'm-"
I set the tea down, not wanting to smash the entire thing with my tightening grip. Controlling my newfound strength was a skill I hadn't quite mastered yet.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay, tiny, c'mere,"
Before I could stop myself, my body moved on its own, burrowing deeply into the muscular torso of the man standing by my side. Figuratively, and literally.
It was Rosalie who informed me that Emmett and I had been dating before. She didn't say much else, leaving me to question the rest of the family on the matter. Alice said we were inseparable, Esme called us "the epitome of young love," but it was Edward's claims that struck me.
"Since I've met him, Emmett has been waiting for someone to pledge himself to. His thoughts, they always lead back to you; you're all he can think about."
A heavy sentiment, but beautiful nonetheless. I was shocked that he had eyes for me, even when I'd been a human. And now, here he was, loyalty unwavering.
"God," I had to laugh at myself, "you know, all I want to do right now is cry. And... I can't even do that."
"Don't say that," he mumbled, his chin nudging against the top of my head as he spoke.
"Even big guys like you should cry. It's healthy,"
"I think you'll find vampires have different health habits," I could hear the smugness in his voice, causing me to look up with a hidden grin.
He smiled down at me, the space around us slowly disappearing.
"So I've learned. Um," I pulled away, taking a step back, "thank you. For that, I mean... I didn't mean to get all sorry for myself."
Emmett shook his head, "Don't worry about it, tiny."
Turning back to the railing, I shook my head and chuckled. "Stop calling me that," my eyes narrowed up towards him, the playfulness of our conversation igniting something within me.
"Nahhhh, don't think I will," he winked, "tiny."
I felt flustered. No wonder I fell for him before.
Clearing my throat, I desperately attempted to change the subject.
"Uh, a-anyway, everyone must be looking forward to tonight, right? Graduation... exciting," I picked the mug up, shifting anxiously.
"Oh yeah, Alice loves this kinda stuff. She's crazy about planning. But, uh, I'm afraid it's not gonna be all that,"
"Why not?"
"We won't be there,"
I had to roll my eyes. Was he always so cocky? Full transparency, I found it charming. His honeyed words felt so familiar. They were a comfort I didn't know I needed.
"Hopefully everyone will manage," I scoffed lightly, pouring out the tea that had cooled down substantially.
I knew I couldn't drink it, but making it felt right; anything to feel normal.
"They can try. What about you? Any plans for the big night?"
"Esme and Carlisle are taking me hunting-"
"Can I?"
My eyes widened as Emmett eagerly cut me off, his eyes now glued to me as he waited for my answer. I giggled, my head tilting to the side as I leaned away from him.
"What about the party?"
"I already told ya, it won't be fun without you there," each second I didn't respond he grew more impatient, "you gotta let me take you hunting, you won't regret it! C'mon, please."
He looked like a big dog, standing before me with round eyes full of hope. It didn't take long for me to accept the fact I couldn't say no to him.
"I-I... I guess it wouldn't be so bad,"
"Hell yeah. Nice," the smirk on his face was heartbreaking. He was too handsome for his own good.
"...well, I am going to go wash this mug. And, uh, put it back where I found it."
Emmett laughed. "Better get to it, Esme likes her dishes clean. She might want to use that, actually. I'd hurry~"
"Duly noted,"
"Wear something nice. We'll make it a private graduation party, way better than Alice's,"
He spoke so cool. Perhaps I was overanalyzing, but he didn't rush his words, he relished in them. Unlike me, a person who ran out of things to say fast these days.
"Y-Yeah, okay," I shrugged, internally questioning what "something nice" meant. All I had was some of my clothes from my home, which one of the Cullen's grabbed the night everything went down. I wasn't sure how they pulled everything off, but those details were trivial.
"See you then."
༻༺
I wasn't sure how Alice had managed to get her hands on me, a makeover in full session whilst I sat obediently in front of her vanity. She'd gotten the jump on me, surprising me outside my room with a giddy smile and dress in hand. Surprisingly, I didn't put up a fight. Being pampered by her came naturally, and according to her, it wasn't out of the ordinary.
"We used to do this a lot?"
"Whenever I could steal you away from my brother, yes~ You'll see, I know what I'm doing,"
I believed her immediately. So far, her work was lovely, my hair pulled up into a messy yet elegant updo. Not much makeup was used, but there wasn't a need; being a vampire did wonders for the skin.
"You must be excited, Jasper mentioned you like parties,"
Alice nodded, touching up my hair. "Any excuse to decorate and dress up. I just think life would be so bland without parties, you know?"
For some reason, I felt a sadness in my heart. The graduation party in question was one I was supposed to be attending, but that couldn't happen. Alice must've noticed my silence, her hands dropping to squeeze my shoulders. I looked for her in the reflection of the mirror, offering a small smile.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"No, no, it's okay, really. I just wish... I wish I knew what I was missing out on."
It wasn't like I remembered any of my classmates. But that girl inside me, locked away by the shackles of amnesia, did. And I knew she missed them.
"If it makes you feel any better, everyone was pretty bummed when Bella told them,"
Ah, yes. My alibi, delivered by Edward's girlfriend. She used to mean more to me than that, which I realized after getting the unexplainable urge to hug her when we first met.
Technically, it hadn't been the first time.
"They all bought the story?"
"What's not to buy? You and Emmett were young and in love, so you ran off to Europe together. Seems like a happy human ending, don't you agree?"
I had no objections. It was better than faking my death or plastering my face all over town with missing person fliers.
"You guys are good at making someone disappear," I speculated, slightly narrowing my dark eyes. Alice winked, causing me to chuckle.
"We've picked up a couple of tricks over the years, and Carlisle knows all sorts of people. We're lucky your brother didn't go digging too far. I mean, he certainly tried, but..."
At the mentioning of my brother, I shifted in my seat. Talking about him threw me off, in the worst way.
"Sorry, I- I really can't keep my thoughts to myself,"
"You shouldn't have to. Besides, I can handle it. It's my fault, I should've called him already. Told him Germany's beautiful, or something," I let out a deep sigh, "I'm worried I won't... remember the right things. What if he notices something is wrong?"
"Oh Evelyn, I wouldn't worry about that right now. As far as he's concerned, you're enjoying the honeymoon phase of your new life. Now, let's pick out a dress! Come with me," Alice took my hand, dragging me to her ridiculously huge walk-in closet.
I appreciated her attempts to distract me, and I knew she was right; my call home could wait. Still, there was a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. It told me to hurry up and remember something about my human life, anything at all. At least some basic knowledge. Daylin deserved to know I was alive and well, and more so, an apology.
I just needed to remember.
༻༺
The moon was full, casting its white light on every bit of nature it could touch. Without it, the forest would've been black.
Not that I needed a light source.
"Weren't waiting too long, were you?"
I heard him coming this time. Turning around, I shook my head.
"No, not at all. But, um, we should get going. People are gonna arrive soon."
He was staring at me with a dreamy, faraway look. A thousand-yard stare that I couldn't follow, no matter how hard I tried.
"Earth to Emmett," I snapped lightly, body drawing closer to his, to my dismay. The voice in the back of my mind demanded to be near him. What was with that?
"You look ace, doll," his voice came out soft, intimate almost. Melting in his presence was inevitable.
"I-I, uh, you," I cleared my throat, "you also look very nice,"
"Aw, thanks," he feigned a bashful smile, causing me to giggle, my walls falling.
"Can we go now?"
"Alright, alright. Follow me."
And with that, the two of us were off.
Despite the struggles I faced in my new life, there were upsides. Running was one of them; the wind rushed through my hair and I felt light as a feather, drifting with speed through the ever-changing woods around me. Whatever adrenaline it was that coursed through my still veins made me feel free, unchained from my past life.
Hunting with Emmett was different. It was fun, somehow. Before, it was a gruesome chore I couldn't deny myself of. I hated the way I felt as my prey went limp in my arms, the sound of their hummingbird hearts breaking my own. Only recently had I been them, the weak, powerless victim to a godly predator. The power imbalance almost seemed too great, like whatever God was out there made us with reckless abandonment. Did I always have such dark thoughts? Or was this a result of my forced immortality?
We'd just finished cleaning ourselves up after feeding when I caught him staring, the same way he had been earlier.
"Why do you look at me like that?"
"...huh? What?"
I huffed, watching as he snapped out of the trance he'd been under.
"You stare at me like," I scrambled to find the right words, "like, I don't even know what,"
"No, I don't,"
"Yes, you do!" I insisted, crossing my arms.
"Well I don't mean to," he copied my actions, moving closer.
"Fine, but when I call you out next time, don't pretend to be shocked,"
"Guess I can't let you catch me, then~"
My stony facade came crumbling down, all at once with no grace. There was nothing I could do to stop it. I must have had intense feelings for him before.
"Raced yet, short stuff?"
"Raced?"
"Aw, you haven't? Want to now?"
It didn't take me long to decide, nodding as soon as he asked. Why hadn't I thought of racing?
"Yeah, you're on," I smirked, glancing over at him through lashes, trying my best to not grow too enamored by his beauty.
"So much confidence!"
"I heard newborns are the fastest, you know."
We were practically toe-to-toe at this point, a competitive air thickening around us. The forest, already alive with its usual residents, was now electric with energy. Someone was violently shaking up the nicest bottle of champagne, and the cork was right on the verge of bursting; that's what it felt like, being so close to him.
"Yeah...? Not as strong as me, though,"
"Strength means nothing in a race."
The tone shifted the electricity morphing into a warm glow. His smile concreted this feeling, as I enjoyed the simplicity of the moment.
"How's this: first person to get home wins,"
I hummed in thought, "And what do they win?"
"The greatest thing of all," he paused, his fingers reaching up to grab my chin. I felt my knees go weak, but I held my ground.
"...bragging rights~"
He let go of my chin and snickered, pulling away. I blinked, his actions rendering me blank. If I was a human, I would've felt the blood rush to my cheeks, hot with embarrassment. With my newfound lack of blood, however, I was able to save face a bit more.
"Count us down then,"
"Nice," he was so loud, a boom of thunder disguised as his laugh. I liked being the one to make him do it.
"1..."
I readied myself.
"2..."
Winning wasn't a want, it was a need.
"3!"
༻༺
With both of us going full speed, it didn't take long to reach the house. And, to my pleasant surprise, I did in fact win the race.
Halfway, I passed him up with ease. Jasper had been right; as a newborn, my abilities thrived. I was powerful.
"You cheated,"
"Only cheaters think of that excuse, besides, I didn't cheat!" I shoved him, sending him far.
"Fine, maybe you didn't cheat," he shoved me back in retaliation. Except, it didn't hurt. And I didn't mind it.
I giggled, slowly assuming my place next to him with no questions. I swore I felt his fingers ghost against mine before I smelled something foul. Scrunching my nose in disgust, I stopped.
"What is that smell?"
Emmett's movements mirrored my own, focused on my reaction. He sniffed, his head snapping towards his home in the near distance.
"The wolves," he answered my question, yet confusion was written all over his face.
"The wolves?"
"Oh, sorry," he quickly apologized, "the shapeshifters. They're a part of the Quileute tribe, they live on a reservation close by. We're not exactly on the best terms, but," he faltered, "you were... pretty close with some of them."
As usual, my thoughts were blank. I tried to remember anything I could about the Quileute tribe.
"Why aren't you on the best of terms?" I inquired; maybe if I had just a bit more information, I could be granted a revelation.
"They don't trust us. We're demons, in their eyes. C'mon."
He had a steely gaze as he began to head straight for the house. I followed on instinct, an odd feeling coming over me. By the time we reached the front doorsteps, I realized it was the unbearable urge to protect him.
The scent kept getting stronger until its owner couldn't have been more than fifty feet away. Right as we were about to open the door, the person on the other side beat us to it.
"Holy shit," I came to a halt, a lump forming in my throat as I stood in front of a tall boy, with tanned skin and dark features.
A boy I recognized.
"Embry?" I whispered his name like a pipe dream, nervous to be wrong.
He went rigid, eyes full of emotion.
"Evelyn," he looked me up and down, and at that moment, I witnessed him go through every stage of grief. My frozen heart shattered, and I tried to pick up the pieces, but when that boy of a man found himself crying in my arms I knew it was a lost cause.
"I-I'm so sorry, I'm sorry Eve," his body racked with sobs, "I'm so fucking sorry, I should've been there! God damnit,"
I held him up, allowing him my support as he mourned the loss of my mortality. Memories flowed back with each tear that slid down his cheek. It was like I was witnessing my own funeral. Though honestly, I had to commend him for his bravery. To cry in front of others... our connection had been strong.
"Shhh, it's okay, I'm okay... everything's okay,"
"I t-thought you were dead," he trembled.
"No," I shook my head, "the Cullen's found me. I'm still here."
His hold on me tightened like if he let go I'd fade away into nothing. His skin was burning hot, but it didn't bother me. It was different than mine, I was sure of it. My skin was icy to the touch, according to the Cullen's. It didn't seem to bother Embry, and oddly enough, I was relieved.
"I'll be inside."
I couldn't turn around, but I watched as Emmett stalked past us, not even bothering to look me in the eye.
Shit.
-unedited
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I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! If you did, don't be shy to leave a comment, vote for this chapter, and add Ethereal to your library/reading list! The support means so, so much to me. Thank you, guys!
~ May