[Chapter 25]
_____________________________
⚠
️ Vulgar language, fighting, sexual scenes. You have been warned.
_____________________________
"I can't stop thinking about you. All I think about when I am with other women is you. You ruined me. I told you I came to end you."
His was stare devilish, his moans reaching all around me, I didn't try to fight anymore, I knew it was pointless. I looked at him angrily once more. He bent me down next to a tree, ripped my skirt this time, and started rubbing himself slowly.
"I hate you!"
This shit is so toxic, everything is TOXIC! Everything around him!
I was crying my eyes out. I was scared to death, afraid it could hurt my kid if he continued.
"Your pussy feels so good wrapped around me, every man would go mad with you. But you are mine, and mine alone."
He got mad at me like it was my fault.
"I've been waiting for you like this. But you just couldn't be good for once! You ran again. You always run from me! WHY?"
He pushed himself aggressively inside me.
"Ah! You!"
I hissed at him, I hurt so much, but the numbness and the pleasure gave me was amazing, it made me feel toxic, dirty, evil. I hated myself for liking this.
"You are insane Damian Yang. I bet you don't understand what you are do-"
"I know very well what I am doing. And what I am about to do to you."
He lifted me up and turned me around. He made me and himself finish once more.
"It's okay. It's just this once. I'll bear with it. Come on, big boss, let's see it!"
I wasn't fighting, nor crying anymore. What was the point anyway? It only made him feel better.
He looked at my deranged state and leaned down to bite my neck before coming back up to look at my wild gaze.
"What is it little boy, afraid you won't please mama right? Oh, but you only have this once! Mama will leave afterwards!"
I laughed hysterically, like a crazy woman and his stare darkened.
"Tell me Beth what the hell does that mean?"
"What do you want me to say?"
We were laying naked, in the middle of the woods, shivers ran down my spine while looking how hard he still was.
"I am leaving Damian. I want to get away from you."
I said, sitting down on his jacket.
Minutes passed in silence while he stared at me. I gazed at my surroundings, my energy gone and my heart shuttered by the only man it ever knew and felt for. I shook my head and smirked.
How could I be this stupid?
I've been protecting y heart for all my life, and now, just like that, it scattered to pieces, bit by bit. Torturing my whole being, my whole existence.
He was following me with his gaze as I stood up and started walking.
"I won't just stay here until you destroy me, get bored of me, and throw me away like I am nothing."
I said quietly.
"I am not your slut, nor your slave. I am nothing to you, that much is very clear."
He propably realized I was right, because new emotions showed deeper in his eyes, even if it were dark, I could see the lit fire in them.
His facade had broken once more, just as mine did too.
He came and sat next to me, turning me to look at him. He kissed me again, passionately, begging for my permission, but I knew he didn't need it anyway.
This time I gave in.
Im leaving tonight, and this man, however much I hate him, however toxic he is, I think I love him.
I love the way he makes me feel. I can feel everything when I'm with him. I could finally feel alive with him, and the trap he set for me worked, he has me, my body, my heart, but he'll never have my mind.
I knew, that I am in way too deep, and he, himself, isn't any better.
So this had to stop, or we'd end up tearing each other apart.
We kissed, and kissed, and kissed.
Narration
We weren't supposed to turn the tables this way. Especially not when I was about to disappear on him.
"Stop it, Damian. Don't make it feel like I am betraying you."
"You are, Beth. You are..."
He nuzzled in my neck, his vulnerable state was something new to me and I feared it more than his obsessive side.
"You are nothing to me and I am just a sex toy to you."
I told him coldly, but we both know it was a lie I spat out.
"Am I really nothing to you?"
He fired back, searching my eyes, he then got himself on top of me, pinning me down.
"Beth..."
He kissed me and pushed inside me once again, this time, gentler.
"Damian!..."
He knows I can't handle affection, I can't handle gentleness. He's trying to push his claws on my heart an rip it apart.
I tossed and turned, it still hurt but I was used to his size by now, I could feel the burn he gave me.
"Say it again."
"Don't ask me for more Damian, it's not fair."
"What is more Beth?"
"What do you want Damian? Tell me truthfully."
"I want your body, your control, your mind."
He said as he pounded onto me, as if this whole situation was normal.
"I don't want your heart"
He added.
"I know you don-"
I started but he stopped me.
"No, no, it seems I need it to belong to me."
I was taken aback, this was a threat to me.
"NEVER!"
He shook his head at my words,
"Like everything else about you. Your heart also belongs to me."
"NO! You are mad, aah! I- I am not your possession. I won't ever give you my heart."
It seems that I can't take any good from him, I need his demons to unleash, or else mine will appear.
"I will make you hand it to me willingly."
He continued pushing inside of me, his moves slow and precise, and I couldn't take his 'good' side anymore.
"Mmm, still so tight."
He rolled his eyes, roaring my name for the beasts around the forest to hear.
"N- no. You can't."
"I know I can, just like I did with your control and body."
His moans fell, one by one, into the shadows of the woods.
"My heart is dead Damian. You won't be able to do anything about it."
The sensations were confusing me. I didn't want to believe a word he said to me. He was playing me in his fingers, he wanted to know where I was going, I wasn't a fool, I'd never tell him.
My phone rang after some time of wordless fucking, he looked at it and then at me. I started back at him nodding.
He put the speaker on, and it was Sheila.
"Girl, where the fuck are you? Are you okay? Did that ass of a cousin I have came to find you again?"
"Yes he did."
"WHAT? Where the fuck are you Beth?"
"Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid, you know my condition."
"Yes, you are right, but I want to chop his neck off right now. After everything, he-"
"It's okay. Relax baby girl."
I tried to calm her so she won't say anything that Damian can't listen.
"Yes you are right, you are leaving."
"Yes, Sheila..."
There was silence after that and I decided to just go for it.
"I am at the woods come pick-"
I didn't need to tell her anything more. Damian ended the call, turned me around, and slapped me hard in the ass.
"I won't let you off this easily next time. Let's go."
He said while bringing me new clothes.
"I said we're leaving, now."
He knew he couldn't do anything more to me now that Sheila was coming to get me.
"There won't be any next time. And I'm not going ANYWHERE, with you."
I answered calmly. We both got dressed and went down the road to wait for Sheila.
I was anyway, he had propably made some kind of plan to take me away, and I knew I had no time.
There was only the light of the moon to brightening the surroundings, but it was more than enough to look at him.
I was wondering if my son would have the same eyes as his. If he did, it'll always be a reminder of Damian.
Every time I'd look at the little creature. He notice me staring at him and got closer.
"Why are you staring at me like that?"
He asked me and I feigned ignorance.
"Like what?"
"Helplessly and desperately."
"I just want to forget how your eyes look, maybe it'll be easier for me to-"
"To what? Forget?"
He let out a unamused chuckle that went straight to my heart.
"To leave, I guess."
"Tell me the truth, Beth."
"You wanna hear the truth is it?"
"Yes. For once Beth, tell me godamn truth."
"Okay then."
I stopped myself again. I knew Sheila would come and I would immediately go to a hotel where he couldn't find me. As I had already planned. But I was still afraid of telling him.
I wasn't in any mood for his questioning if he really was the father of the kid or wanting me to just have an abortion. My thoughts were a mess, I shook my head countless times. I didn't know what to do.
"Calm down. It's okay."
He said in a caring low voice. I was taken aback.
When has he ever talked to anyone that way? Especially to me?
"I- Okay I'll just tell you and then this is over. Whatever 'this' is."
he nodded, not bothering arguing with me anymore.
He stared at me with impatience, and I couldn't hold it anymore, my saviour came at that very moment.
_____________________________