Rylan stood there in my doorway and stared at me endlessly. Those blue eyes swallowed me whole. Every part of me belongs to her. She knows it. She has to know. There is no way she can't—every limb, organ and inch of my skin blooms at her present. Awakened with a warmth that only she can provide. It's happiness, I have figured. A bliss I only have when she's around. To me, Rylan is the sun. An undeniably beautiful and dangerous sun. She's the one that chases the darkness away.
Rylan tilted her head as her gaze turned into worry. I haven't been able to speak since I opened the door for her. The blue suit she's wearing clings onto every curve, muscle on her body. If it weren't for my father deciding to throw me a birthday party, I would have dragged Rylan into my apartment and demanded her to have her way with me. I don't care how. As long as she leaves me breathless and beg for more. My legs trembled at the thought. Get a grip, Hadley.
"Hi," I said weakly and cleared my dry throat. "You look," there were no words to do her justice. Beautiful, no, she's more than that. "Distracting," of all words I could have used: Perfect. Flawless. Gorgeous. And distracting is what comes out of my mouth. What is wrong with me? Rylan smiled confusedly but as well amused.
"I don't think I've heard that one before," she chuckled. I laid my hand over my face.
"I'm sorry," I cringed. "I don't know why I said that," I shook my head. "That was pathetic," I mumbled. Rylan stepped closer to me and raised her hands but stopped herself from placing them on my waist. I know she wanted to, but something in her made her not.
"You are very much distracting yourself," she smiled. That smile makes my toes curl and breath hitch. How am I going to survive the evening when she's going to be all. Distracting. I looked down at myself in uncertainty and pulled at the dark blue dress. Hands on my cheeks forced me to look right up into shimmering blue eyes. "Do not doubt your beauty," she breathed. "Never doubt it," her thumb brushed my jawline. "And I hope you do not doubt me," her eyes were filled with concern. "For not wanting you, because," she sucked on her lip. "I've never wanted anything more than you," she said so quietly. Oh god. She can't say those things. Not now when we have to go.
"Damn you, Rylan," I slapped her shoulder. How dare she. How dare she be sweet, charming and daring. She smiled, no she grinned so brightly. I had to suck in a deep breath to calm down my needs. "Let's go," I shook my head and pushed her by the shoulder out the door. "We aren't going to go anywhere if we keep staying here."
A room filled with unknown people was what I had expected from my father. Yet it was not. A few close friends of my father that he has had since I was a child. Mario and his wife, Sharen, which I haven't spoken to for a while now. Rylan and I had split ways the moment we had stepped into my birthday party. Not on purpose, that is, as my father had stolen me by the arm and dragged me around to socialize. He might not have known how much of my time I wanted to spend with Ry. I found myself glancing her way each time I could. It's like she knew that I looked at her because she would stare right back at me every time.
"Excuse me," I smiled at the couple that my father was speaking to, but I didn't really pay any attention to what they were talking about. I was, distracted by certain someone. I crossed the room and that smile on Rylan's face made my cheeks flush the entire way. The moment I stepped in front of her, she reached out her hand to me. Questioningly I took her hand. She led me to the middle of the floor. Her hand was placed on my waist and I understood what she wanted. A dance. One of those that pulled us closer together. With my hand on her shoulder, I rested my forehead on her collarbone. Breathing in the soothing scent of her summer rain. I closed my eyes as her mouth was pressed against the top of my head. My whole life, I was scared of opening up to let someone in to see my dark parts. But then there is Rylan. The one that doesn't mind them and accepts them. No, it's more than that. She wants them. Ry wants my fragile and shattered parts. Just like I want hers. "Take me home?" I asked gently. She tilted her head and watched me for a long moment before she nodded.
Rylan entered my apartment and looked around as if everything had been changed in place. But it's all the same as it has always been. I took off my high heels and to get her attention, I threw one at her back. Rylan stiffened and turned around. I grinned as I sucked on my lip and flung the other one at her. She caught it mid-air and smiled. Then she let the shoe on the floor to come my way. I walked backward until my back hit the door. My toes curled as tension shot through me like lightning. I held my breath as her gaze darted from my eyes to my lips. She laid her hands on the door and leaned down, so close I could feel the warmth of her breath on my forehead.
"I've never said this to anyone," she swallowed. "But, I've never met someone like you before," she smiled softly. "Someone so stubborn," she licked her lip. "So fierce but considerate and accepting," she breathed. "And I love that about you," my lips slightly parted. "I love you, Hadley," I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes as I took hold of her suit jacket in clenched fists by her shoulders.
"I love you too, Ry," I breathed with a relieved laugh. "So much," I couldn't hide my smile. I don't even understand why I would. The warmth in my chest, the shivers on my skin and the tears wanting to pop out are all signs of how happy I am. "I want you," my hands went down to her waist and with a light push, she followed my movements for us to turn. With one hand on her collarbone, I forced her back against the door. Rylan smiled in confusion but didn't say anything. I opened the button of her suit jacket while biting my lip. "I know," I slid the jacket from her shoulder and threw it across the room. "You are gentle," I started to open the buttons on her shirt. "Kind, considerate," I opened the last one and looked up into her eyes. "And cautious," she watched me puzzled as I pulled the shirt down her shoulders until she stood there almost exposed to my brown eyes. Digging my teeth into my lip, my hand glided over her belly. Rylan's muscles are stiff but skin soft. "As much as I love all of those things about you," I said and Rylan's blue eyes had darkened with hunger. "I don't want that right now," Ry furrowed her eyebrows. My toes curled as I couldn't contain the desire I had for her. It's always there and now the spark has turned into flames. "I want you to want me," I took a deep breath. "The way you truly do," I had to hold onto Rylan's waist to keep my feet on the floor when I said that.
"Because I know that deep down," I laid my hand over her heart and it beat fast and hard.
"You somewhat hold yourself back because that is what you do," Rylan drew in a breath and slowly let it out. "I don't want you to do that with me," hands were placed on my waist.
"I need you to do whatever you desire to do," I whispered. "I trust you."
Rylan's hold on my waist tightened and it made me gasp. Roughly she turned us around and my back hit the door with a bang. I couldn't stop the smile that crept onto my lips. Rylan's eyes hardened with greed and passion. She swang me around, so my forehead lay against the cool door. Strong hands smoothly slid down my naked shoulders and arms until she grabbed my hands to place them on the door. I obeyed her wishes and stood still as goosebumps formed on my sensitive skin by her breath on my neck. I closed my eyes as she painfully slowly pulled down the zipper of my dress. My body shook with a shiver as she dropped the dress off my body. I brought in an uncontrollable breath as warm, soft lips kissed my shoulder. She trailed them up the path to my neck. My legs almost gave in as my hands turned into fists. The ache that's been pulsating between my legs raised tremendously. I need her, but I also want her to taunt my body to my breaking point. I've never let anyone have their way with me. Yet, Rylan makes me crave it, lust for it. She makes me open up in a way I have never done before.
Fingertips traced down my spine and I leaned back my head as I sucked on my lip. "Ry," I breathed as my hands started to tremble.
"Patience," Ry whispered in my ear but then moved me to face her. Her gaze darted all over me as if she wasn't sure what to do or where to start. My nipples are hard against the fabric of my bra, clearly needing some attention, along with other parts. Sturdy hands took hold of my waist and I was forced to walk back to my bedroom. My heart skipped a beat as my legs hit the bed. Then, with a push, I fell into the sheets and I smiled, impressed with Rylan's determination. I dragged myself further into the bed, but a grip on my ankle pulled me back to her. Caught entirely off guard by her act, I stared at her with widened eyes. Her firm expression never faltered as she placed her fingertips on my hip bones. I closed my eyes as my back arched and legs stretched out. She's so close, but it still feels so far away. The tips of her fingers slid underneath my underwear and deliberately brought them down my hips unhurriedly. It was torture. The way her hands would brush the inside of my damp thighs. Until the fabric was gone from my body, she stared for a while, intently, patiently taking her sweet time. Time I do not have as every limb screams for her hands, lips and body on mine.
I sat up to unhook my bra, but a hand on my shoulder pushed me back down to the soft sheets. Rylan frowned and that's when I understood. Rylan intends to worship me. No one else. Not even me. This is all hers. I am hers. A warmth spread all over my chest. I'm all hers and she wants to relish every moment of me. Ry's hands slid up my ankles, legs and inside of my thighs. I clutched the sheets with both my hands so hard I swear my hands must have turned white. She stopped. I peeked at her, so impatiently with anger and fury that I wanted to snap at her. But Rylan climbed over me, settling each knee beside my stomach and only stared. I clenched my jaw and reached for her belt to unbuckle. But once again I was refused as she grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head. She had leaned down so close that her nose touched my own and her breath teased my mouth. I sucked my lower lip so hard my teeth dug in and I almost drew blood. I raised my hips as my center demanded to be pleased. Pleased by her in any way she desires.
"Please," I begged as I had never done before. I would plead on my knees if it made her touch me. "Do whatever you want, but please do it now," I said breathlessly, but she didn't do anything. It felt like an eternity until she climbed off me and pushed me to lay on my belly. She finally unhooked my bra, but soft, tormented kisses were placed on my back. Her lips mocked my skin until I broke into a moan. The sound that escaped my mouth made Rylan stop. She pushed me to lay on my back again and removed the bra. Bare, I laid as she undressed. Every fabric she took off, I held the sheet tighter in my hands. I want to touch her, but I know she will refuse me if I do. To make things easier for myself, I closed my eyes, but they snapped open wide as Rylan's hand drifted from my knee and up to my inner thigh. She laid above me and the second her lips brushed over my nipple, my mouth opened and my hips raised to clash into her thigh with my center—finally, something to contact myself to. I kept grinding onto her, but hands on my hips held me down. I grabbed her back in frustration and my nails sank into her skin. I'm so ready and she still denies me. My hold on her back loosened as I lost all sensation in my arms by her trail of kisses between my breast, down to my navel and right above my center. I grabbed her shoulders so tight that it must have hurt, but I pushed, demanding her to go down.
A kiss was placed on my folds and with that, my legs spread out wider. Opening up for more and hoping she'll take the hint. I waited and waited. My jaw clenched, but then she did it. My eyes rolled back as I tugged at the sheet, holding it so strong as Ry's mouth devoured me.
"Oh god," I breathed in. My stomach tightened and my feet moved uncontrollably as Rylan played on my pleasure. Her nails dug into the curves on my hips to consume me harder. Her sweet but cruel tongue carelessly explored every roam until it found its final destination. I took hold of her head to keep her in place as I felt myself buckle up frequently. I came, hard and long. I breathed out in bliss, almost in a chuckle as I laid spread out on the bed, completed. My belly follows my heavy breathing as it goes up and down. Sweat formed on my chest and back. My thighs were drenched in wetness as Rylan's peeked up at me. No wonder I came so fast. I'm soaked to the bone because of her teasing.
Ry found her way up to me, her forehead resting on mine as I still tried to control my breathing. I grasped her face and led her lips down to mine. She tastes like me. I sucked her lip as I needed more of her and I tried so hard to turn her, but I couldn't move her an inch. Instead, she surprised me with her hand in between my legs. My eyes closed and I bit my inner cheeks as her hand moved pleasantly. I grabbed onto her rigid shoulders to hold onto something, anything, as it feels so good. I moved my hips along with her hand until I made it slip to my entrance. It's not even a question. I want her inside of me. I need her as close as possible. Gently and smoothly, she slid two fingers inside. My fingertips dug into her skin. Ry clenched her jaw but never complained. She's told me once she doesn't mind and I trust that. Tenderly she pressed in and out. I spread my legs for her to go deeper and she did.
"Faster," I cried out and she did as I asked, but also harder. "Ry," I breathed and bit down on her shoulder as waves of pleasure washed over me. I held her tightly and pressed my body against hers. I've never experienced anything like this before—this feeling of being wanted. To be pleased until my bones are bent. My skin, soaked with sweat and wetness coating my thighs. It wasn't until I let go of Rylan and laid back down that I realized her fingers were still inside me. I enjoy the connection, that vulnerability I have only given to her. But in the end, she pulled them out of me carefully.
I beamed as I laid my hand on her cheek. "You are amazing," I said breathlessly. "Absolutely amazing," I chuckled and Rylan smiled genuinely back at me. "I feel dirty," I rubbed my damped chest and felt the warmth on my face. "So dirty," I laughed and Ry grinned in contentment. With one last deep breath, I finally managed to push Rylan onto her back. I seated myself above her quickly so she wouldn't get back up. "My turn," I smiled cheekily. Rylan watched me quietly with a soft smile. I bit my lip as I stared down at what was mine to take—pale skin covering up the tight muscles underneath. Her breasts are round, firm and her nipples are peaked. I licked my lips as I leaned down to kiss the softness of her skin, teasing around her nipple.
Ry pulled in a deep breath and let it out. I smiled at how I could affect her, to turn her body against her. To make her want more. I moved my lips further down her abdomen over the strength of her core. Her belly sunk in by my touch as she reached for the sheets of the bed. I couldn't hide the delight as it crept on my lips. The burned marks on her skin stole my attention. A broken but beautiful part that I just had to kiss. "You are beautiful," I whispered and my breath turned her skin into goosebumps. I love that I can make her feel like this. To feel desire and lust. I've done it to many women before, but they can't even be compared to Rylan. Ry is mine and mine alone. I don't want to share her with anyone—what a selfish feeling. But I hope as much as I don't mind being hers. She won't mind being mine. I love her so profoundly and as scary as it should be. It isn't. I'm safe with her.
I kissed my way down her belly until I met her upper thigh. Rylan might be patient, but I'm not. We both know that. Yet, as I slid my hand over her inner thigh, I realized that I didn't have to do any teasing. I smiled as I touched the already wet and heated skin. The yearning between my own legs raised again as I couldn't wait to give her the same pleasure. I had difficulty breathing as my hand went into her warmth. Ry's body stiffened and she closed her eyes as she sucked on her lip. I climbed back up to her with my hand still in place to please her gently. I placed a kiss on her shoulder, collarbone and eventually on her lips. She looked up at me, distantly gone in bliss. That look in her eyes is the most astonishing thing I have ever seen.
Ry's damp hands were laid on my cheeks to draw my forehead to her own. I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my chest as I slid my fingers further down, but I never went in as I waited for permission. It didn't take long when Ry moved against my hand for more. Gradually I slipped two fingers inside of her. Rylan's hold around me became strong, too strong. "I can't breathe," I said and she loosened her grip quickly. I moved inside her, my hand covered in wetness and heat. When I turned up the pace, Ry opened up for me to go deeper, harder. I did and she moved against my hand with eagerness. A moment later, she pulled me against herself so tight our bodies could have meddled and I felt it. She clenched around my fingers and we both slowed down our pace. In time brought out my fingers and I collapsed on top of her. Ry held me as my face was hidden in the crock of her neck. We breathed loudly as our heartbeats collided.
We stayed silent for a long time. No words were spoken, but it wasn't needed. Our bodies did it for us. Then, finally, I raised my head to gaze up at her but was surprised to find Rylan with her eyes closed. I couldn't help but smile as she had fallen asleep. Licking my dry lips, I planted a kiss on her cheek and whispered. "I love you."
I woke up and frowned as I found myself alone in the bed. Gazing around the darkness, I turned on the lamp on the bedside—no Rylan insight. My heart started to speed up roughly against my ribs. I stumbled out of bed and grabbed an oversized t-shirt from my closet and a pair of underwear. It was all I put on as I grabbed the door handle and swung it open in fear. A couple of bright blue eyes stared at me in astonishment. I laid my hand over my heart and breathed out in relief.
"What's wrong?" Rylan asked, seated on the chair next to the window. She placed the glass of water on the floor to stand up.
"Nothing," I said and shook my head of myself in embarrassment with flushed cheeks. I paced over to her and wrapped my arms around her tightly. She has put on her suit pants and shirt but has left them unbuttoned. Every fright vanished from my limbs and mind."I thought you had left, "I finally admitted. Ry pulled back from our embrace and sat back down on the chair. A pained expression was written over her face.
"I wouldn't,"
"I know. I'm sorry. It was my first thought and it was stupid," I interrupted her. Rylan stared out the window into the night of New York. Street lamps and billboards lit up the apartment. As the quietness continued, I laid my hands on her shoulder to climb onto her lap with a leg on each side of her belly. I forced her to look at me with my hands on her cheeks.
"I'm sorry,"
"No," she closed her eyes. "You had every right to be scared. I understand that you are, but," she swallowed hard. "I won't leave you. Not again," the stern look in her eyes was a promise and I could feel it down to my heart.
"I know, " I smiled as I leaned in to place a soft kiss on her delicate lips. "Did you dream? is that why you are awake and alone in the dark?" I questioned as worry settled in my stomach. However, Rylan smiled instead.
"No, I was thirsty, but that wasn't what woke me up," she said and I tilted my head as she never finished the story.
"What?" I asked impatiently.
"You kinda hit my cheek in your sleep," she chuckled and my eyes widened as I laid my hands over my mouth in shock.
"I'm sorry," I apologized, but she shrugged it off. I snaked my hands underneath her open shirt and placed them on her collarbones. She's so warm and comfortable. I could drown in all of her.
"What do we do now?" I asked as I brushed my fingers over her skin.
"What do you mean?" she sounded confused as she watched me with her gentle blue eyes.
"I mean you and me. What do we do now as in," I searched for the right word. "Futurewise," I finished. Rylan pulled in a deep breath and exhaled as she looked over the city again. She furrowed her eyebrows after a while in thought and faced me again.
"Unless you don't mind, of course," she smiled. "But I would love to spend the rest of my life with you," my lips parted as my heart that had finally calmed down speeded up once again.
"Y-yes," I had to swallow as I started to tear up. "I would love nothing more than that," I beamed as a warmth had settled all over my chest. Then I laid my arms around her neck and held her so tight that I swear I would never let her go.
"It's settled then," Rylan said.
"You and I, until the end,"