After a while I'm not sure how long I've walked. Snow has fallen and covered my tracks so I don't even know which way I came. Not that it matters. The cold burns as it slips up my feet from the snow. I feel as if my calfs might break off at any point. There is no feeling left below them. I stumble forward, surrounded by the cold, but I am unsure of what I am looking for.
Was there ever anything out here?
The night doesn't have any answers for me. Tall trees stand guard as I make my way deeper into the woods. Every breath hurts as I inhale the icy air.
What was I looking for all those times as I peered out into the dark?
It seems stupid now, this stange connection I've always felt to the night woods. I was a stupid child for imagining I would somehow find a piece of my mother here. I still am stupid in that regard, still searching for something where absolutely nothing is to be found.
I will probably never be found either.
My legs burn like they are made of sad cinders and I'm shivering so bad I can't see straight. The clapping of my teeth has taken over, and small rush of the wind makes me completely lost. I have no idea where I am. I can't go back now.
Just like I wanted all along.
I ease myself down against a tree with thin branches and look up towards the moon. For just a moment I feel like the moon godess is listening to me.
"You are cruel" I mumble bewteen my clattering teeth. She doesn't answer me, of course, just smiles at me placidly from afar. "Why did you create a bond without love?" I hiss.
Still there is nothing but silence. She shines so brightly I have to look away. It is ridiculous. I cannot talk to the moon. No one can know her will. She is fickle yet eternal and graceous beyond words. We worship her because she gave life to the other side of our soul. Only that mine is dark and cruel and loveless, making me half.
Tears trickle down my cheeks creating streaks of cold on them. I curl in on myself and try to come to peace.
It is alright now. This is what I wanted. Soon it will all be over and this will end in a smooth and calm passing. I am finally free from the darkness.
Short chapter I knoooooow, but I'm gonna leave you with this cliffhanger <3
// Love, Rin <3