"You have all of your things?" you asked him, arms intertwined as you walked all the way to the train. It was a cold morning, your voice turning into a cloud of breath each time you muttered a word. Small snowflakes filled the air as some landed on top of your head and the reddish parts of your cheeks. Your eyes turned from Regulus to the top of your nose where one small flake settled, the only thing pulling you from the haze of the light snowfall being Regulus chuckle at your side. You pursed your lips in amusement as you blew some air, the little hairs falling out of your hat moving with the motion. "Stop." you chuckled.
He shook his head, eyes glued to the front with his chin up all the time. It was impossible to get Regulus in nothing but perfection. Perfect posture. Perfect words. Perfect grades. Perfect imperfections.
"You keep getting those flakes off your face." he laughed, his eyes sparkling as he glanced at you "Ten more will take their place."
You narrowed your eyes at him, using your hand to shake the snowflakes off your face, scrunching your nose as shivers ran down your spine at the cold feeling of the snow melting against your skin "They get in my eyes." you murmured, shaking your head in defeat "But don't change the subject! Do you have all of your stuff?" you asked again, eyes falling to the small suitcase on his other hand "You're going for two weeks, you know?" you asked him incredulously.
He nodded his head in acknowledgement, not saying a word as you shrugged your shoulders, holding tightly to his arm as you both approached the train.
Few students were left near you, the small crowds there boarding all together as the train started to make more noise and the vapor in the sky clouded, the train announcing itself it was almost time to go.
You pulled Regulus' arm, stopping his steps a few feet from the door. He was standing right in front of you, lowering his suitcase to the floor as he placed his free hand over yours holding onto his arm. No words were exchanged as you both stared at each other, your eyes saying more than either of you could muster with words. But still, words were needed.
"Have fun." you told him, your voice turning to your imitation of a mom voice, making him roll his eyes. "I mean it." you said, pointing a finger at him "You will go home and be happy because it's christmas. You'll enjoy it with your family, eat all the food you can, and get your presents." you said with a smile. "Of course, the first few days you can be miserable because I'm not with you..."
"Right." he scoffed, shaking his head.
"...even cry a little. I will be waiting for your tear stained letters."
And then the silence fell between the two of you again. Were you supposed to feel that emotional? Was he feeling the same tightness in his chest? You felt your lower lip start to tremble, the hopeful thought that it was your imagination or the cold air disappearing as he tilted his head. His eyes were almost guilty as they followed every movement of your face.
"Y/N..." he started to say but you raised your hand to his chest, turning your face to the side as you used your sleeve to wipe the few tears that started to pool on your eyes.
"Don't." you laughed, voice raspy as you let out more breathy laughs "Merlin, turn around while I compose myself." you told him, using your hand to push him away.
You should have known he already had a secure grasp on your wrist, your attempt to push away useless as he pulled towards him. It took you one word from him to wrap your arms around his chest, his arms holding you close to him as he rested his chin on top of your head, the light sounds of your crying only audible to him.
"You know I'm coming back, right?" he asked. There was no teasing in his voice, no joke, no attempt at humour. You nodded your head against his chest, tightening your hold on him. "It's not even two weeks, I'll be back before you even know it."
"I know." you said, slowly walking away from him. Holding your head low as you cleaned your face before you looked back at him.
Your eyes met his and the whole world stopped. You two were the only ones standing out in the cold morning. The voices faded, the images of everything surrounding you melted to simple colors without shape. You were sure when you died, your first request would see the exact moment Regulus Black became so important to you. You would give everything you had to see the moment where two souls connected on such a level your body aches from being away from him for just two weeks.
The whistle from the person gathering all the people meant to board the train pulled you out of your trance, making you turn your head in the direction of the sound.
Regulus took in the moment, your face turned from him as the distraction provided with the perfect moment. The hand that was not holding your reach to the inside pocket of his coat. A small package wrapped neatly with a small green bow on top laid on his hand as he waited for you to turn back to him, but it felt you were avoiding the sight of him, your side profile making the air get caught in his lungs as he could see the tears still streaming down your cheeks.
He called your name softly, the word barely a whisper that reached your ear in a plea. You purse your lips, a tight smile in its place as you turn to him, your eyes immediately falling to his hand and erasing any act from your face.
"We agreed on no presents." you said, brow furrowed as you looked up to him "Remember?"
He had the ghost of a smile on his face as he offered you the small package "Don't think of it as a present." he said, watching the usual sparkle of your eyes return "An apology. For making you cry."
Your shoulders fell back to their place as you relaxed your muscles, a side smile making its way to your lips as you took the present from his hand "I guess I can accept that." You didn't miss the satisfactory look on his face as you tugged the present under your arm, crossing your arms with an amused look "An Slytherin apologizing? Might ruin your evil reputation, don't you think?"
The smirk on his lips grew as he watched the man blow on his whistle once more, the place deserted except for the two of you standing there with the confidence enough to mask the emotional goodbye that was unfolding "A Ravenclaw showing any sign of emotion?" he said back, licking his lips as his eyes returned to you "Someone might get the idea you actually have a heart."
You bit back the laugh, shaking from the cold and the urge to burst out laughing "Go," you pushed him softly, getting the suitcase in his hand as he walked to the door, you following close behind him "Before you find out how heartless I actually am."
He boarded the train without another word, the smile never fading from his face. He didn't dare to look out the window while the train started moving, he feared he might get one look at you and jumped out of the train before it was too late. He had matters to attend back at home.
"You're not boarding the train, miss?" asked the man, hand in the handle of the door as he entered the train.
You shook your head, smiling tightly at him as you took a step back, and another, and another. The train started to move, first slowly like it carried the heaviness of your wish for Regulus to stay and then more fluidly, realization settling deep inside of you as you accepted that even if you didn't like it this was for the better.
*******
"Merry Christmas, Y/N!" cheered Félix as he saw you walking down the stairs of the common room, eyes still laced with sleep as you rubbed harshly there and your entire face. You only registered a pair of arms circling your middle with the strength of Christmas morning , making you place your arms instantly around the boy's head in some sort of hug.
"Merry Christmas Félix." you said in your most cheerful tone, even if your voice was raspy he seemed satisfied, taking your hand and dragging you to the couches near the fireplace, the low fire offering enough warmth to make you sigh as you sat down "Got any presents?" you asked him after a big yawn he mimicked not one second later.
"Plenty." he laughed, as his arms tried to pile up everything he got from under the tree. You raised your eyebrows in surprise as he kept piling up his present in front of you, his parents were definitely making it up for not celebrating Christmas with him.
You lowered yourself to the floor, sitting next to him "And do I have any presents?" you asked, knowing perfectly well the answer.
"Two." said Félix, reaching his hand under the tree for you. He pulled the small package from Regulus and a bigger box with the writing from your parents sticking out on the note. You took them from his hands, smiling at him as he was basically shaking from excitement. Oh, to be so young on Christmas morning again. "Shall we?" you asked him. He didn't bother with an answer, ripping the paper from the first box at reach, tuning you and the entire world from his perception. You chuckled softly, taking your own presents.
You were more curious about Regulus' present, the agreement you two made clearly a joke that left you feeling guilty on the train station once you saw he got you something. He was supposed to honor your agreements.
Taking your time, seeing Félix still had a mountain of presents to open, you slowly unwrapped the paper, an old looking book showing itself under the dull brown paper. But you knew better, a smile forming on your lips as you took all the paper away. It might have looked like a book but you knew it was more, something you had seen once and had obsessed over.
"A box that looks like a book?" he asked you once you presented the idea to him, the look of disbelief in his eyes making you roll your eyes. "Why would you want that?"
"Have a little imagination, Black." you scoffed, never losing your smile and excitement.
He shook his head and you jumped in front of him, making a show with your hands to try to act mysterious "A book that you can hide in plain sight. A box to hold your secrets."
Smiling to the memory, you ran your finger over the lid. Moving the box in your hands to take a look at all of its faces, it was the last thing you did to open it. The smile on your face only grew, a picture of the two of you laying inside the box.
You didn't know who took the picture, the frame showing you and Regulus in the library, sitting down on the table with the entirety of your books open before you. You had a wild look on your face, hands pointing to different books as your mouth moved at light speed, across from you Regulus holding his head on his hands with a confused look before he dropped his forehead to the table.
You laughed at the memory, closing the lid of the box and taking a look back at Félix "Let's get breakfast."
*******
To say the Great Hall was empty was a hopeful attempt to paint a more cheerful picture in your head. You doubted the entirety of the people sitting on the middle table of the Great Hall could fill an entire classroom, the students from all ages and houses gathered at the very front of the room, all bundled together to keep the cold at bay and have some company for the day. This was the first time you had stayed back at Hogwarts for the Holidays, not once imagining that it would be like this. They were all laughing, the cheerful sounds echoing from the empty walls of the room as their smiles reached their eyes. You always thought that the few students that stayed there would be all by themselves, at least that was what you were planning on doing, but seeing them all gathered together around the food, sharing their stories and exchanging small yet thoughtful presents, it warmed your heart and gave a more hopeful look into the next few days.
Félix jumped beside you, running the few last steps to the group as you followed. "Merry Christmas, Ravenclaws." said one of the older Hufflepuffs, Peter.
"Merry Christmas." you said, meeting eyes with everyone on the table as you sat down. You started to put food on your plate, sensing the quiet that fell over the group as you took your first bite. "Is something wrong?" you asked, seeing as everyone had their eyes on you, small giggles escaping their lips.
"You're new." said Peter with a smile, taking a sip from his mug as they all nodded in agreement "It's usually the same people that stay at Hogwarts around this time." Your face fell, looking down to Félix who was happily munching on a piece of fruit until his eyes met yours. "You stay here every year?" you asked him, the pit in your stomach growing as you remembered you were the only two Ravenclaws in the Castle.
He shrugged, taking another bite from his breakfast as everyone gave him a look. He sighed in defeat, dropping his fork "It's not that bad."
"It really isn't." added another girl, giving Félix a nudge in the arm "We have fun."
"Still," intervened Peter "This is your first time here. Why is that?"
You relaxed a little on your seat, spinning the fork in your hand "Didn't feel like going home this year." you lied, lowering your eyes. If they realized you were lying or not, they said nothing about it.
Breakfast took a peaceful and quiet time after your introduction, chatting away about everything and anything. It was when you all had finished that the place started to gather more energy, the fuzz of all the possibilities for the day started to become more tangible.
It was like the energy summoned them.
The loud whistles an shouts started to come even before they were inside the Great Hall, the doors bursting open with the full force of the four men running inside and jumping over the table, wands at hand pointed at the ceiling that impressively changed to the most pure color white, the cold air rapidly flowing over the cheeks of the cheering students at your sides, snow falling over the plates of forgotten food before them.
It wasn't until they ran all the way to the group that you started to recognize them, the world slowing down before your eyes. The first one, passing right next to you with a grin on his face was Peter Pettigrew, he would sometimes wave at you around the halls after he helped you when you were just a lost first year looking for the charms classroom. Then, as if he just had gotten down from his broom after a successful Quidditch match, James Potter met your eyes briefly with a smirk, his eyes darting to his side as he pointed in your way with his head, Remus Lupin waving in your way before he got pushed from the back, your eyes quickly following the hands still close Remus' back, following the pattern of the ridiculous ugly sweater he wore, his smirk melting into a soft smile as he faltered next to you.
Sirius' eyes followed your form, making sure he was actually seeing you there and it was not another dream, but not even his head could come up with the smile that adorned your lips. He wasn't that powerful.
"Merry Christmas, Y/n"
You considered him, the flutter of your heart giving you the answer straight away, the warm feeling inside your chest contradicting every single word you had spoken the days before.
"Merry Christmas, Sirius."