Chapter Ten
~Michael's POV~
I was frantic running around the house before everyone got here. Or really, before Veronica showed up with everyone. Again, still kind of new to the school so I had to ask Veronica to bring some people when I sent her a text earlier. Of course Liam asking me to talk about him was weighing down my mind and I really did need to tell him. I didn't want him to feel like I couldn't trust him or anything like that. It was just really hard to talk about. I sighed and Carmen came over to me.
"You're throwing a party?" She questioned.
"Obviously." I said rolling my eyes. "You have the night off, why are you still here?"
Carmen crossed her arms over her chest. I glanced at her to see she was already out of uniform and had her coat in hand. "I'm trying to be reassured that you are okay. And that you're not going to get drunk and do something stupid." She replied.
I smiled at her, "Can't make promises. I'll probably be drunk." Carmen glared at me. I sighed again, "Don't worry. Liam's here. He'll take care of me." As I said that, I shoved her out the door before she could say anything else. It was true that Liam would take care of me and I was absolutely certain in that fact. There was no guarantee that I would be any type of 'okay' tonight. Because while this was extremely spontaneous and out of the blue, it was a distraction. A distraction to keep my mind off of him, and off of my insecurities about me and Liam's relationship, and everything in between.
So yeah, getting drunk was high on my list of things to do tonight. In fact, it was pretty much the only thing on the list. It was stupid and pointless but nothing was working. Not even Liam being sweet and gentle was helping. And him telling me he loves me when I couldn't even respond wasn't helping either. And everything was just feeling like crap, so I decided the best way to go about this was to throw a party. A party where I get shit face drunk like old times and get into a little bit of trouble.
Liam was changing and locking the upstairs rooms with the key I gave him. I checked on the food that Richard had prepared and soon enough the door bell rang. I turned on some music and fixed my hair real quick before I opened the door. Standing there was Veronica and like, half of the school. I looked at Veronica and she smiled.
"I'm here! With guests, as asked." She said.
"I owe you one." I said.
Veronica laughed, "You're providing free alcohol. You've already paid me."
I laughed and everyone started to come in and get the party started. It didn't take long at all and the party escalated quickly. By the time Zack, Dylan, and the rest of the guys showed up - fashionably late - the party was already in full swing. Opening the door I was greeted with familiar faces and I smiled widely at Zack standing there with his fingers laced through Dylan's and a smirk on his lips.
"Well hello there Michael. So nice of you to invite us." He greeted and I laughed at him as he went inside, tugging Dylan along.
"Liam is up stairs." I said to Dylan as he passed by me and smiled.
I turned back to the guys and they all looked at me as if they were excited and angry at the same time. Well everyone except Rick, Noah, and Andre. Rick, deciding to lighten whatever mood there was, gave a big smile and lifted me up before hugging me tightly making me squeak.
"Oh my god. Rick put me down!" I laughed, although I was slightly terrified.
Rick smiled, "Aww come on Michael. Just missed you. We all do." He said.
"Yeah, Zack is a total pain in the ass without you around." Andre said making everyone laugh. I rolled my eyes at him.
"He's not that bad."
"Yeah he is."
"Whatever. It's pointless for you guys to hate me over leaving you guys to deal with him. Besides, I should have told you guys that I was dating Liam. But some of you have big mouths." I said glaring at Kelso and Phil.
"Why do you have to look at us?" Kelso asked.
"Hmm, well I don't know about you guys, but it's kind of cold out here and there's a sweet looking party going on inside, so..." Chris said trailing off.
I stepped aside and let everyone in. Noah was the last to come in as he decided to stay by my side. We laughed and joked around for a bit. Catching up a little outside before finally going in. I headed straight into the kitchen to find Zack chugging down alcohol like there was no tomorrow. But I guess, considering his management classes, this really was like a one night thing. So I joined in with him. Starting off with shots and progressing my way up.
At some point I had stumbled out of the kitchen and into Veronica and Sean. They were seated on the couch and while it looked like Veronica was trying to dance, she was unsuccessful in her attempts. Mostly because she was sitting down - more specifically, sitting on top of Sean. And mostly because Sean looked the same way he always did - drunk or not - bored and uninterested. Veronica smiled when she saw me and threw her hands around me.
"OHHHH my goshhhh. Michaaaael! This parrtyyy is all-slome." She slurred out. I just about went into a giggle fit at the shier sight of someone so drunk. But then again, I was feeling drunk. So I could not complain. "Dance wiiith meh!" She said and got off of Sean, pulling me towards the opened area where people had started to dance.
I wasn't really interested in dancing with Veronica but the songs beat was making my body move for me. And I felt myself start to let go. To slip into the music and forget about things. And somehow I lost Veronica and I was dancing by myself. I was sweating and grabbing more drinks form God knows where. The alcohol and the bass of the music was all that was filtering to my head. The constant thoughts of him and of my relationship with Liam was fading. It was being replaced by a familiar feeling. One that felt like Zack and drugs and ten other pairs of hands on me.
And it made me feel sick, but so fucking good at the same time. My body was moving according to the music. The spinning in my head from the previous days had stopped and turned blank. I vaguely recalled that I shouldn't even be getting this drunk because Liam was just upstairs. But my brain was suddenly turned into mush when I felt large warm hands gripping my waist.
They were nothing like Liam's slim, long, and graceful fingers on hands that were just the perfect size and warmth. No. These were way bigger. And they were most defiantly not Liam's. But I could remember these hands traveling up my thighs not too long ago.
It was Sean.
I wanted to turn around and push him off me. Stumble upstairs to Liam and dance with him. I didn't want to lean slightly back into Sean's larger body. Opening myself up to him. But it was programmed. After dealing with Zack for so long and throwing too many parties, the simple action of getting touched by a stranger was almost normal.
But this wasn't a stranger. This was Sean. Veronica's boyfriend. And I had Liam. But his hands were making me shiver at the way he was dragging them up and down the sides of my stomach. Wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer to him. I could feel my face getting red at the indecency he was portraying.
His hands slid a little lower to the inside of my thighs. And I didn't know if I felt disgusted or not. Disgusted with myself for allowing it and for liking it. Or disgusted with myself for letting him slowly push me up against the nearest wall and turn me to face him.
My heart lurched in my chest as his cold eyes scanned over my body and his hands continued to grope me. He experimentally slid his hands lower and over the front of my jeans. I let out a small stifled mix of a gasp and a moan.
I hadn't realized that I had started getting hard and his hand rubbing over it continually wasn't helping. He raised his eyebrow slightly and I saw the corner of his mouth twitch. It was probably the most emotion I'd ever see on his face.
His other hand came up to my face and tilted it upwards. He looked at me as my face turned a deep red. My body felt too hot under his gaze. And the bass of the music was going through my feet and pumping through my body. Everything was slurring together and becoming hazy. The only thing I was registering was the sensation of Sean's hand rubbing up against me and his face getting closer to mine. My bottom lip that had been trapped between my teeth slipped lose as I panted. My eyes looking at his lips before closing.
But I never had the chance to feel his lips on mine.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I heard a voice say. My eyes shot open and I froze in place as I looked at Liam.
He stood there furious. A blond headed chick that I vaguely remembered being Emily stood behind him. And I didn't know what to do. He walked closer to us and ruffly pulled me away from Sean. Rick appeared from seemly no where and grabbed at Sean.
"Look man, I really don't want to get violent with you." He growled out. But even as he said that his eye gleamed with murderous intent. My brain was too fuzzy to tell Rick to stop and my body was way too hot to stop feeling needy and I clang to Liam.
Victoria - no, Veronica stumbled over and almost face planted. And I quietly laughed at her. Rick glanced away from Sean and towards Veronica's drunken petite body. He growled at Sean again, who's face had gone back to the unamused slack it's always been, and he shoved him towards her.
"Hey!" Rick shouted at her. Veronica cringed but looked at Rick, while trying to steady herself using Sean. "Keep your boyfriend on a damn leash. Next time, I'll kill him." He said.
I didn't get the rest of the conversation as Liam started to pull me up stairs. I briefly saw Dylan who asked if everything was okay.
"Could you please go make sure Rick doesn't kill anyone? And maybe stop the party? Me and Michael need some quiet." Liam asked Dylan.
Dylan blinked and looked at me and then back at Liam. "Yeah sure."
It wasn't until Liam had undressed me and the music has stopped and the foot steps of people leaving were gone, that I was able to fully calm down. My body started to cool off and the slight dull pang in the back of my head was starting to become noticeable. Dylan came back up with a glass of water and announced that he, Zack, and the boys were leaving. Liam said bye and I mumbled something so incoherent that I couldn't even tell you what I meant to say.
The air was tense when Dylan closed the door to my room and left me and Liam in the room. I had rolled over in the bed so that my back was facing him and the covers were pulled up to my nose. Liam sat on the bed with the covers thrown back. I could feel him staring at me. But I didn't say anything. I couldn't tell if he was mad at me or disappointed or anything really. And I most certainly didn't want to look back at him and check.
Liam was the first to break the silence with a sigh. "What the fuck Michael?" He asked. I didn't answer back. "I mean, if you were bored with me you could have just said so. There are better ways to break up with a guy."
"I don't wanna break up with you." I said, gripping my pillow tight.
"Then please Michael. Please explain to me what just happened." He said raising his voice just slightly.
It was silent for a moment before I responded back, "I'm drunk."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Liam asked.
"Everything."
Liam sighed again and I could tell that he was probably rubbing his forehead with his hands. His eyes closed as he tries to rid himself of his on coming headache. That's probably what he was doing. "Michael, I need answers. You can't keep avoiding my questions."
He was right. I needed to give him answers but I was holding out for as long as I could. Pushing the painful memories back as far as I could and locking them up with a key never made. They were in the past and they shouldn't mean anything, but it was the exact opposite. They meant everything in my life. They had become me and trapped me in the perpetual state of being scared.
"I need to go to sleep." I snapped back at him.
"I don't want to fight with you. But Michael we need to talk abo-"
"No! We really fucking don't." I cut him off. "You can either just shut up about it and let me fucking sleep or you can get the fuck out." I yelled, finally turning back to look at him. Liam looked a little shocked but didn't say anything back to me. My head was starting to throb and I scoffed at Liam and turned back around and closed my eyes.
It was at least another minute or two before Liam finally turned off the lights and settled into the bed. I opened my eyes in the darkness and stared off into the distance and hoped that I didn't start crying like every other night before. Today had been weird and stressful and now it ended like this. I just closed my eyes again and tried to fall asleep.
***
When I woke up, it was too sunny outside and my head was still hurting, a lot worse than before. My memory was a little hazy. But when I sat up in bed and saw that Liam was still here, knocked out, I remembered. The whole thing with Sean and the sort of fight that me and Liam were having. And I grimaced at the thoughts. I quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and my favorite hoodie, his hoodie. I slipped my phone into my pocket without checking it and went downstairs to see the house had been cleaned up already. Almost as if last night didn't happen. And I went into the kitchen to see Richard checking stock and making pancakes. I quickly ate them and then escaped the house before Liam woke up.
I started to walk towards the forest. My legs on autopilot and my mind blank. Absolutely blank. There was nothing on my mind except getting to my destination faster and him. That all my brain would think about. There was nothing else it wanted to think about. And I fished out my phone from my back pocket and looked at the date and time.
November 27, 12:43 PM.
I put my phone away after turning it off. Ignoring all the text messages from Zack and Rick and Noah. I sighed. It was that day. Of course. I made my way through the forest and found its familiarity cruel. Like it was mocking me and purposely trying to make me sad. Trying to remind me of him. Trying to make me remember all the things that happened. And my heart was silently breaking with each step. Everything felt heavy and numb. Like I couldn't feel anything. And I didn't know whether it was from the place I was currently going to, the thoughts of him becoming more intense and clear, or from my own personal defense of crawling into a shell.
It didn't make much of a difference anyways. I had arrived.
The little tree house in front of me didn't look like much. It looked weathered down and old. Like it had been torn apart and put back together with all the wrong parts and I smiled at that. I climbed up the short latter and walked into it. The wooden boards creaked and moaned when I walked on them. The slight breeze made the leaves russel against the tree house. I gently touched the walls and peered out of the small window in the room. There was still a blanket on the ground and a medium sized box.
I sat down in a corner and smoothed out the blanket. I grabbed the box and opened it up, spreading the contents of it on the blanket. There was a empty cart of cigarettes, small pieces of burnt fire wood, a condom - which I rolled my eyes at, and several photos. The photos were all of the same two people. I picked up one of the photos. A boy with messy red hair thrown about his head. He was wearing the black hoodie I was wearing right now. Although, he had some type of white shirt under it, as it was poking out from the bottom. His pale yellow-green eyes sparkled - ugly, he had called them. His thin pink lips where stretched into a cross between smile and a wide open laugh. The photo was set in the tree house. His pants were barely visible and the green filtered sunshine made him look even more magical.
I set the photo back down in the box. On top of everything else. And I sat there with my legs hugged tightly to my chest. Looking at all the memories I let die until this time of the year came around. Looking at my past. Staring it down and feeling nothing but longing and sadness. Feelings of regret and happiness building up on top of each other.
Another photo. It was just me, drinking a shake. Obviously, not paying attention. He said that was the first photo he took. Another when we had just finished setting up a fire and he was having a smoke. One where a tower of ice cream blocked most of his face. More photos of us doing random things, in random places that I stopped going to. More photos of him. More memories. More heartache and heartbreak. And then I saw one out of the pile with both of us in it. I grabbed it and stared at it. I wish I could have remembered the face of the person that took it for us. But it didn't matter. He was holding me up, my legs in the air because I wasn't expecting it. My arms locked tightly around his neck. Our foreheads were pressed against one another and he was giving me the most endearing look I had ever seen.
My body trembled slightly and I closed my eyes. I shut the box, still holding onto that last photo. I hugged the photo to me, along with my legs. Resting my head I began to cry. Goddamn it. I wasn't going to make it. I'm not going to be able to do this. Not this year. I can't do it. I can't do it. My voice was broken and barely a whisper in the wind.
"Aden."
A/N: That's right foks, you no longer have to refer to him as him! His name is Aden. And what happened between him and Michael? You'll have to wait and find out~ Well, my head hurts now and yay for a some what long chapter! But honestly it was really hard trying to write a "fight" between Micahel and Liam because they're just too perf o~o, but it happened and MIchael got snappy. So have a sassy, insecure, sad Michael. Take him because he's been in my head too much. ANYWAYS, I'm rambling. I hope you enjoyed and until next chapter my lovelies! Picture is of Sean <3 <3 (I'm sorry but he's hot and I enjoy writing a character that does not speak >.< Also, Veronica is a terrible drunk. Someone help that girl...)