I ground my teeth together as Kira pushed me through the door and into the dining hall filled with the mid-day lunch rush.
"Keep moving, Null. We don't have time for any more of your rebellions," she hissed, shaking the wet strands of hair off her forehead with a huff.
Although an intimate encounter almost occurred between my lips and the white, polished, tile below from the force of the shove, I couldn't help the evil smile that spread across my lips. I wasn't even mad at the excessive use of force this time.
Not when Kira's uniform was as thoroughly drenched as her hair. She clenched her fist tight to hide the shivers that were beginning to show as the slight chill from the cooling units above began to get to her.
Hopefully, she'd learned not to try me again.
While escorting me to my room last night, she refused to let up on her grip on my arm. Making it tighter when I raised complaints. This morning when she had appeared to escort me to the mandatory counselling sessions I had been assigned by Margaret, she decided I needed to be manhandled the whole way since I was such a flight risk. She didn't ease her grip any, digging her nails in each time I protested.
She still hadn't eased up while escorting me from the bathrooms to the dining hall. I could feel her satisfaction grow with the pressure she applied and the hiss she drew out of me. A mistake on her part, especially given the freshly surfaced anger that was simmering under my skin after witnessing the ring of bruise that was already forming around my arm in the bathroom. The array of colours had me deciding that she needed to cool her head seeing as all that power she was given was going to it. The other Agent, Mantis, wasn't half as bad as her. I had barely noticed him trailing behind us in comparison to his coworker.
As we entered the communal area for the Nulls that I was briefly shown the night before on the way to my room, everything changed. While the rest of the center reminded me of a sterile hospital, this section consisted of old Cathedral-style architecture. It must have been the part of the original Null Center's building that was opened. The lifeless sterile parts must have been added to it in the past few decades.
When we entered the foyer where all the separate housing pods that housed groups of Nulls met, I couldn't help but take notice of the beautiful fountain spitting glistening water at the center. It even had a majestic beam of light highlighting it as it came through one of the high arched windows. I would have been a fool if I didn't see the direction that even the gods were pointing me in. They were lighting the path for me.
What better way to cool her head than a quick dip in cold waters?
The arm-numbing grip that followed as she dragged me the rest of the way to the dining hall was well worth seeing her struggle to keep a professional mask in place while dripping a trail of water behind us. Even Mantis was struggling to hide his amusement at seeing her trying to button close her jacket with one hand as her pink bra became more and more visible through her white shirt.
If she was going to walk around like she was untouchable, she shouldn't have been so easy to knock off balance. And here I was, always terrified of the uniformed agents that patrolled the streets because they were rumoured to be skilled and ruthless. The reality was it just took a well-timed stumble to push them over a stone ledge and into frigid waters.
Mantis stepped between us before things could escalate further. "You don't have any funds in your account. Grab a tray and go to that station," he instructed, pointing towards the back corner of the room where a sad-looking cart sat.
It was heating food that looked like it had been sitting for a while under the heat lamps. Nothing compared to the line of chefs throwing woks of food and fire while stirring pots and pans steaming with flavour. While I was expected to eat stale bread and cold chicken, fresh dishes were being prepared for wait staff to deliver to Nulls seated at numbered tables around the hall.
The waitstaff far outnumbered the Nulls that occupied the room. They were broken up into groups occupying their own tables each. While a few smaller groups were spread out towards the edges of the room, larger groups congested towards the center of the room, forming a larger and louder mass. I could tell from a single glance that I didn't have very much in common with any of them. They were too... happy to have experienced the struggles that I had in life. No one went through what I had without coming out jaded on the other side.
Not to mention, not a single one of them had a plate of food from the cart in the corner. If their eyes full of life weren't enough of a giveaway, that would have been. I doubted they set the cart up for the rich kids whose parents forgot to refill their accounts.
"How do I add funds?" I asked as I approached the cart, my face twisting into an involuntary grimace as I watched a fly land on the hard and dried-out chicken.
Although I was poor, it didn't mean I had no standards. They were just lower. Low, but not eating fly seasoned chicken low.
His eyes looked at me with pity. "A family member or Guardian needs to add them for you."
I furrowed my brows as unease twisted in my stomach.
"Can't I transfer some money from my bank account?" I had more than enough for a decent meal now that I didn't have to worry about paying rent. That was where majority of my paycheck went while the remaining few dollars were spent on clearance sale food.
"Your account was seized when you were verified to be a Null. You can't gain access to the funds without a Guardian." He didn't bother adding the family member part this time I noted. He probably already knew I had none.
I clenched my jaw and pushed my tongue hard against my teeth. I could feel fresh tears burn behind my eyes, but I refused to let them make an appearance.
Of course, they wouldn't let me have access to my money. They couldn't risk me being able to survive on my own without needing to rely on an Elemental. It was all about control.
I cleared the tears out of my throat. There would be plenty of time to cry myself a river when I was alone and on my own. I wasn't going to give Kira anymore of a reason to wear a smug on her makeup smudged face.
Pushing my shoulders back, I looked Mantis in the eyes and nodded. I wasn't going to let these people intimidate me with their tactics. I knew I didn't need anyone but myself, I wasn't going to let them fool me into thinking otherwise.
Turning on my heels, I grabbed one of the metal trays stacked at the end of the cart before eyeing the available options. There wasn't much variety to begin with, but seeing the odd fly or two flying around the uncovered dishes had me reaching for one of the few saran wrapped tuna sandwiches that were stacked in a basket. I threw it onto the tray along with the least abused apple I could spot and a bottle of water.
"Take a seat anywhere. You have 20 minutes before we need to head to your class," Mantis informed me as I turned to look for a place to sit and eat.
Well, the eating part was still up for debate. It depended on the scent that would greet my nose when I unwrapped the squished sandwich.
With those parting words, he dragged a glaring Kira over to the side where they found a table of their own to take a seat at.
Guess I wasn't good company. Oh well, I shrugged. It wasn't like they were any better.
I looked towards the opposite direction from where they sat near the door. Hopefully, the distance would reduce the animosity Kira was sending my way with her glares. Mantis might have been able to drag her away from me, but he wasn't finding much success in diverting her attention from me.
I wondered if Margaret would let me change my prison warden.
Looking around, I located an empty table. There was no point looking for a familiar face. I had never met a Null before in person, they didn't exactly roam around in the slums, nor had I had a chance to meet the others I shared a housing pod with, having slept in not knowing I had to wake before the sun.
I kept my eyes on the finely crafted wooden table and my chosen chair as I made my way past conversing Nulls towards it. Well, they were conversing until I passed by. A hushed silence followed me. Animated conversation halted as they landed on my unfamiliar face.
Feeling uncomfortable from eyes I could feel scouring my skin, no doubt searching for the mark that a number of them proudly had on display, some even decorating the distinct lines that made up the Spirit Mark with glitter and colours to make it stand out. They wanted it to be noticed while I was thankful mine wasn't clearly visible on my face like a few of them. Nothing a high collar or turtle neck couldn't hide.
I looked away as my eyes locked on the distinct mark standing out against the pale skin of a teenage boy. The displayed mark that sat beneath his eye had unease rolling in my stomach. They all did. Seeing the Mark decorating the skin of those around me was just a constant reminder of how everything had changed so quickly.
I would have gone my whole life without seeing Spirit Mark in person if one didn't decide to make an appearance at the hollow of my throat.
Setting the tray on the table, I pulled the heavy chair out and took a seat. I had only lifted the sandwich and unravelled the wrapping to sniff and test if I wanted to risk eating it when I felt Kira's dagger-like gaze digging into my back. I sent her a narrowed glare over my should.
"That's Agent Kira."
I jumped at the sudden sound of a voice beside me, dropping the sandwich back into the tray.
I looked to my side to where the voice sounded from. There stood a girl- no. My eyes narrowed on her. She was a woman. The others Nulls occupy the room all looked like they were under the age of 20, but not the one that approached. She looked closer to my age. Maybe a few years younger.
Which is why I was so suspicious. Nulls our age weren't easy to find in Centers.
"Yeah, I know," I replied, picking the sandwich up again.
I knew I was being rude, but it was a defence mechanism I had learned early in life. It was better to be left alone than dance a stranger's dance.
"No," the woman responded, not taking a hint. "That's Agent Kira as in, the Agent Kira."
At the look of confusion I shot her way, her own showed surprise.
"Someone should have mentioned her to you by now."
"I haven't had a chance to meet the others," I said as I looked over toward the more populated side of the hall.
Understanding washed over her face. She helped herself to one of the empty seats. "You were never given a head up. Someone usually warns new arrivals on their first night to avoid her."
My brow rose questioningly. "Why?"
"She hates Nulls. Thinks we're all brats born with sliver spoons shoved in our mouths."
I snorted a laugh. "And you're not?" I asked, raising a brow as I eyed the designer clothes she wore.
A deep flush raced up her neck to her face. She looked away. "Ah... right, I can see how this looks," he laughed awkwardly, tucking her hair behind her ear. "They're actually from the donation center. Nulls can donate old clothes and other items for those discovered in impoverished districts," she explained, her voice growing quieter.
Well shit. Now I was the asshole instead of Agent Kira.
I let out a sigh, looking at her sheepishly in shame. "Sorry, I just assumed."
"No hard feelings. You're not completely wrong. Most of them don't know what a real struggle is." Her words were accompanied by a paranoid glance over my shoulder. From the look in her eyes, I had a feeling Fundamentals weren't the only ones that treated the poor, well, poorly.
She covered her emotions with a smile. "I never introduced myself, I'm Greta."
"Rae."
"So, how'd you get stuck with Agent Kira?"
"Margaret."
The 'ah' look of understanding on her face told me everything I needed to know. Not only was I sentenced to being a Null, I was sentenced to being a poor Null. They were two vastly different things. The Null Centers liked to paint the picture that they cared for Nulls, but all they really cared for was the money-rich Elementals and the parents of rich Nulls bribed them with to set them up with powerful individuals. The poor ones were only for the Elementals who cared about what their elements felt more than the benefits the bonding would bring.
"I'm guessing you didn't buy her bullshit?"
The corner of my lips turned up. Maybe Greta wouldn't be so bad to have around.
"No," I answered as I grabbed the bruised apple on my tray. "How I arrived didn't help much either."
Her eyes lit up in curiosity at my statement. She opened her mouth to no doubt inquire further, but a sudden commotion drew our attention.
"-and make it properly this time!"
A black-haired girl with crystal blue eyes sneered at the man practically shaking in his polished leather shoes. She would have been pretty if her toxicity wasn't so visible in her expression as she looked down at him. The older Fundamental was dressed in the same white garb the other servers were milling about in. They, ignoring the loud scene playing out, actively diverted their eyes as they gave tight smiles while delivering the dishes they carried.
I frowned. Maybe some Nulls deserved the shock life brought.
But that was assuming the world was fair.
"Ugh, she's only been here a few months and I already wish she'd let an Elemental take her away already. Even if she decides to come back, at least we'd get a break for a while."
I turned my attention back to Greta.
"Since when did we get a choice?" Marget hadn't given any implication I could say no to an Elemental who wanted to take me home as a trial pet.
"We don't. She does. The rules don't apply to Sophia or anyone whose family has her level of wealth and influence. Her parents "donate" a lot of money to the center. She's can deny cohabitation requests. She has her eyes set on a few Elementals and the donations ensure the center gives her the best possible opportunities."
Once again another example of why life was a lottery based on luck. Who you were born to could save you or it could damn you.
Especially in a world that wouldn't let you cross the divide unless one of the lucky wanted something.
I bite into my apple, my bite harder than usual as my anger at the world grew.
* * *
Something looked off... I tilted my head to the side as I looked at the eye I had drawn on the palm of my hand in black ink. I was mostly happy with it, having gotten the strokes of the upper lashes perfect for the first time in too long, but it was missing something.
Ah-ha!
I had forgotten to the line for the crease of the lid. I moved my pen and lowered it to add the missing detail. The cold ballpoint tip pressed down into my skin, tickling it slightly as I began to drag it.
"Miss. Arora!"
I jumped at the stern sound of my name. My hand jerked, dragging the pen through the centre of my drawing. Hissing at the sudden pain, I didn't have time to mourn my drawing before my name was being snapped again.
"Miss. Arora!"
"What?" I snapped in return. My voice carried the bitterness that came from having the one good thing I had going for me ruined.
Mr. Garrison frowned. It wasn't a good look for his old and weathered face. It just helped him better resemble a bulldog.
But at least they were cute to some degree.
Mr. Garrison, and the mean mug he sported, were not.
But seeing that he was a bonded Null, there was a delusional Elemental out there somewhere. Or at least one that had particular tastes. The small Spirit Mark decorating the side of his neck marked him as a Null. The circle that surrounded the mark indicated he was bonded.
I should know, he had just spent the last hour explaining a bond I didn't plan on forming. I had zoned out after the first 10 minutes of propaganda trying to convince me that forming an intrinsic bond was what I wanted most in life. Seeing as I was joining this class towards the end of the year, there was no reason for them to be covering intrinsic bonds, the first thing Nulls are taught about, now.
This whole class was dedicated to brainwashing the new kid- no, the new adult. The class was full of young faces like I had expected. Though they varied in age by a few years, they made me feel old and at death's door. The additional wear and tear for the hard years I faced probably didn't help. I bet none of these kids had to worry about hiding stressed-induced strands of white hair. There weren't many, but they were annoyingly easy to spot between the dark, near-black mass of my hair. Hair dye was a luxury I didn't find worth sacrificing a few days of food.
"Miss. Arora, explain how Nulls keep Elementals from imploding," he demanded.
Ah, yes, the good ole scare 'em into doing the "right thing.' If he thought he could convince me to want to bond by reminding me of the good I'd be doing, he was wrong. All mentioning elementals imploding did was bring back flashes of memories that just reinforces why I needed to keep my distance from them. They weren't safe. I doubted a single Null would have been able to stop the destruction I had witnessed. It was impossible for a single person to contain that much power.
And that's what Nulls were supposed to do.
We were being brainwashed into being over-glorified storage units.
I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to waste energy replying. I was too old to play into the games that were designed for those who didn't know the realities of our world.
His frown grew, deepening the crease between his brows.
"Once an intrinsic bind is formed, an Elemental can transfer Elemental energy to a Nulls body that they can access. We can't manipulate the elements to use ourselves, but our Spirit Elements keep them docile, eliminating any threats of implosion."
Just a living, breathing, storage unit.
The black-haired girl from the cafeteria, Sophia, looked back at me as she finished answering the question she wasn't asked to answer. Her smirk told me she was being anything but kind by offering her knowledge. Not that I needed to see the malice behind her false innocence again. I had already witnessed it in the cafeteria.
But money could buy ignorance, so the old Null smiled at her like she was nothing but an angel. "Thank you, Sofia. You summed it up so well." His smile dropped into a frown as he looked towards me. The turn of his lips displayed a hint of disgust as he took in the frown decorating my face. "You'd do well to learn from Sophia as an example. Although an elemental may look past your age, One will never choose a stupid Null. Do better, Miss. Arora," he said before turning away dismissively.
I bit down, clenching my teeth together in anger while simultaneously containing the scathing words I was tempted to release. My fingers tightened around my pen until I could feel the plastic strain under my hold, threatening to crack.
Who the hell did this wrinkly old fart think he was calling me old? I just turned 27! It wasn't my fault they liked to trap Nulls and brainwash them while they were still young, before they could learn all the shit I had.
Mr. Garrison returned to his stop before the whiteboard, lifting his marker to add to the list of terms he had. Intrinsic Bonds.
I looked down at the sheet of paper lying on the desk in from of me. Aside from scratching the date in the upper corner, the page was blank save for a few small doodles in the margin with the holes. Placing the tip of my pen at the beginning of the blank lines, I began to draw an eye, trying to recreate the magic that had been ruined on my hands. While giving me something to occupy myself with while ignoring Mr. Garrison's lecture, it had the added bonus of keeping the old Null off my back. To him, it looked like I was taking notes. As long as he didn't decide to pay me another visit or single me out again, I would make it through the remaining 24 minutes of the class.