Of course my day was spent with Kenneth. He was my partner, Kylie was Sebastian's, and Jeremy was the ring bearer with one of Veronica's nieces as the flower girl. Sure, everything looked fine and robotically performed for Veronica and my father's sake, but really? I wanted to yell out and settle everything with Kenneth.
So when we were released for the day, Kenneth and I went back to the house, but planned on changing before heading down to the lake. It was moderate temperature here so jeans and a hoodie would do. When I emerged from my room, Kenneth was waiting for me in some khaki shorts and a blue polo shirt. He had a light jacket on and soft eyes to match its fabric.
"So...how have you been?" Kenneth asked me when we got to the lake. We were sitting at the bench that we made, and I looked over to him.
"I'm not going to start with the small talk," I told him, realizing I had adapted the New York rudeness.
"Alright," he sighed. "What do you want?"
I didn't know if he meant what to talk about or who I want.
"That depends," I stated. "How are you and Jaime?"
He didn't pause like some guy cheating on his girlfriend. He stayed composed and normal. As he should.
"Nothing," he said. "She's been coming down here when she doesn't have classes and last night she stayed at Louis' because she and his sister are friends."
I knew there was more. Knowing Kenneth, he'd just come out and say it instead of making me ask. There was a silence between us and my assumption proved wrong.
"And what happened?"
"We kissed," he informed, but he didn't look down like some betrayal or act like it was out of the ordinary. However I stood up and knew our decision.
"Well I'm glad that's all settled," I clapped. He looked up at me with disbelief.
"Um no. Nothing's settled at all," he said. I shrugged.
"You have your life with Jaime here and I have mine back in Manhattan," I sighed. I truly love Kenneth. I do. But I'm not willing to force a relationship in a situation like this because I wasn't in love with him. Especially when I know he's happy with someone else that's good for him.
"With Hayden, right?" he suddenly asked. I took that tone offensively.
"Hayden's treated me like he's wanted me from day one. He doesn't do one thing and tell me something entirely different the next moment. I don't have to wait for him either," I said. "So who am I to deny him when he doesn't want to wait sixteen years like you?"
"That's really low, Angela," Kenneth growled.
"How so?" I asked. "What's low is you getting mad when I say we part our ways because I want your happiness and then yet you're still mad when I make a valid reason. I don't know how to be around you anymore, Ken. I'm only being like this because I'm confused and I don't know what to think or say or do. Everything in my life depends on you and I don't know how that is when I know that I'll do whatever you want which sort of circles back to—"
I was rambling, obviously, because that's the strange effect Kenneth had on me. Well...Kenneth, the good Dastan, and Proliator. But instead of my words being dialectical vomit, they were words expressing my true feelings. And he knew it too, well I hope that's why he seized my waist and pressed his lips against mine.
It was different. It held more passion and love than Hayden's. Our lips moved together and it was sweet and tender, like I never wanted to let go of it. It truly was everything I expected and all of my emotions portrayed in affection. He pulled away after a moment.
"I love you, Angela..." he smiled.
"I love you too—" he silenced me, yet again, with another kiss.
"Let me finish," he ordered quietly. "I love you and I appreciate that you want what's best for my happiness, but we both know that we've been together for your whole life, Ang...sure, there have been people and life in between that, but we've been together all this time."
"And?" I asked with my hands around his neck.
"And I think it's time to experiment life away from us because let's face it, the only thing keeping us 'together' is history. We always talked about all these older couples who are only together because of convenience or because they got knocked up and we never wanted to be them," he muttered. I looked down, knowing and feeling exactly what that meant. "You can go back to being with Hayden and I can attempt a shot with Jaime. You and I will be the same. It'll be the same as we always were, excluding these last few weeks. We still love each other, just...we know it's not romantic. Not how we want anyways."
I slid my hands off his shoulders and I was...content with this compromise.
"I'm sorry if this isn't what you expected—"
"No worries," I smiled. "This might be the best thing."
He was taken back.
"You are so strange," he stated.
"But you love me," I teased.
"That is true," he smiled. "Some guy is going to be lucky to listen to your cute ramblings...Hayden is lucky..."
"Hayden barely knows me," I somehow muttered. "The only person I remotely ramble off to is Dastan, but only when he's actually being nice, so...not very often, so it's not as embarrassing as when I ramble to you, but then again he doesn't really care and he probably didn't even notice—"
"How could someone not notice?" he laughed. Um? "It's the cutest thing ever."
"To you!" I exclaimed. "But Hayden...I don't know."
Truthfully, I think I annoyed Hayden sometimes. Sure, he nodded his head and looked at me strangely, but he didn't hold some surprising amusement in his eyes. I think he still wasn't used to me, no matter how much we liked each other. And that was enough to make me feel the slightest bit uncomfortable, even though when Dastan dealt with me in an interruptive and determined way, I felt as if he wasn't annoyed, rather entertained because he loved to tease me. It was better than him being annoyed and killing me...
Hopefully.
"Hmm," Kenneth said, sitting down and gliding hands against mine. However, I still stood.
"What?"
"Now we have boys to talk about," he said with raised eyebrows. I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Come on. What do you think Sebastian keeps stressing over every time we're talking about—"
"I really doubt Sebastian's stress has to do with me and Hayden," I rolled my eyes. I sat down and his hand still played with mine. I looked over to him and drowned in his patient, sea-blue eyes. I was done talking about us and of course, I was more willing to find out what had changed my brother. "What...what is wrong with him? Honestly..."
Kenneth sighed, but still held eye contact.
"I already told you," he whispered.
"And you think I'm going to believe that crap about me and Hayden—"
"It's not just about you and Hayden," he sighed, stressfully. What? "It's Hayden and Dastan and, kind of, Nik and all of it, Angela."
"Well then what the heck is it, because I know Sebastian and he's not the kind of person that gets into fights with some guy on his first day meeting them, let alone swear to hate them for no reason," I said. Out of frustration for Sebastian's well-being, I rested my head on Kenneth's shoulder and sighed. "What happened to my brother? He was this popular, outgoing guy—a hero even—"
"He's not a hero..." Kenneth interrupted. I looked up at him. His lips twitched and he produced the ending of his comment: "Anymore, I mean..."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked him, concerned. He briefly closed his eyes and I already knew that he wasn't going to talk about it if he didn't want to. "Fine, don't tell me..."
"No," he said, his eyes snapping open. "I've already held out on you long enough and I'm tired of it. What I meant was that Sebastian wasn't who he was made out to be here."
I flinched into a frown.
"You're his best friend. How could you say that? Especially to me. He's my brother. I think I know more about him than you."
"That's exactly why I'm going to tell you the truth," he said, seriously. His eyes searched mine and I knew then that Sebastian's problems hadn't just started in Manhattan; they had origins here and Kenneth knew the story as to why.