𓈃 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗔 ° 𔘓
𖥻 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗋𝗈𝖽𝗎𝖼𝗂𝗇𝗀 ┊𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗜 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗔 ִֶָ𓂅
[2022]
"hana! hana!"
the moment i stepped out of the car; fans were screaming wildly. i laughed as i waved to them. camera flashes as soon as i got out of the car. i waved both my hands to the fans behind the fences.
some fans were holding out letters to me. i chuckled and went to them, taking the letters and thanking them.
manager kim and my two bodyguards were walking a few meters behind me for security.
"nae! we can see hana making her way on the red carpet towards the photo booth," i heard the emcee said. i grinned and waved to the fans.
this evening, i wore my best clothing that i've ever designed for myself. since tonight is going to be the last award show for this year, i did my best to design the best clothing for myself.
i went to the photo area and gave the photographers chances to take photos of me. i strike some poses so it wouldn't be so boring for the photographers.
a few moments later, i went up the stage where the three emcees are waiting for me.
"annyeonghaseyo," i smiled while greeting the emcees.
"annyeonghaseyo, hana-ssi. how are you doing?" asked the female emcee.
"i am doing really well. thank you for asking," i grinned.
"nae, hana-ssi. you look so elegant and beautiful this evening. honestly speaking, your dress is so beautiful too. is this one of your designs?" another female emcee asked.
"oh! how did you know?" i asked, shocked. they laughed.
"i just guess. so, it's true?" she questioned me.
"nae! nae, this is my design. outfit design for tonight. just for tonight," i chuckled and grinned.
"ah, as expected. our multitalented idol. hana-ssi, perhaps you can give us and your fans hints of your performance for tonight. just a little bit, hana-ssi..." the emcee said.
i chuckled, "um... for tonight's performance, i prepared since three or four months ago? yeah, that long. so, when i was recovering, i was also practicing a little bit. so, a long preparation means that i prepare a huge performance. so, that's it." i laughed.
"i cannot reveal everything. but that's a huge spoiler already. i'm gonna perform my best tonight. and i hope fans and also sunbaenims and also hoobaes, will look forward to my performance." i continued.
"yah, as expected! she revealed a huge spoiler already, everyone. hana-ssi, fans have been waiting for your performance at mama since early of the year. you are already doing a really great job." said the emcee.
"ah, kamsahamnida!" i smiled and bowed to the emcee.
a few more conversations before i was allowed to leave.
i went back to my waiting room where my kids are also there. my waiting room is also their waiting room. well, cho-reum and hye-joon are also here because they want to watch from the waiting room. shin-hye and dong-won are already dressed in their outfit that they use to dance later on.
i was the one who design their outfits too. appropriate for their age. sometimes it's too revealing too for kids under 10 years old.
"eomma!" cho-reum whined while i was looking at my phone.
"mwo? mwo?" i asked her, putting my phone down.
cho-reum pouted while walking towards me. she gets up on the couch before getting on my lap, hugging me and resting her head on my shoulders, pouting.
"wae? what happened?" i asked her while patting her back.
"i want to sit with you," she pouted.
"no. you cannot sit with me during the show. you need to be with aunt ah-reum and aunt hye-jin." i said to her. since the first time i attended awards shows, she always wanted to join me to sit next to me.
of course, cannot.
"wae? wae? wae? wae? wae?" she asked again and again.
"because it is tiring. you need to stay here. when i sit there, i cannot move a lot. i cannot drink always. i cannot move how i want. everyone is watching me. only artists can sit there. only invited artists can sit there. you were not invited. even shinhye-eunnie and dongwon-oppa cannot sit there." i told her.
"but i want to sit with you!" she started shouting and whining. i turn to ah-reum and she looked at cho-reum. there are times when cho-reum will be very fussy. sulky and fussy. and annoying.
i close my eyes and exhaled, calming myself down.
"cho-reum," i said while holding both her arms.
she was crying and it breaks my heart to see her tears. i sighed and let go of her arms.
"i am working. eomma is working. eomma cannot bring you along. i'll be sitting there for four hours. it's tiring. eomma eat vitamins to keep me energized. you cannot sleep late. tomorrow we'll be going to disneyland, right? we're leaving at 10 am. tomorrow is going to be your day and oppa and eunnie. you can play whatever you want and eat whatever you want. so, you cannot be tired today." i said to her.
she cries silently.
i huffed and hugged her, letting her cry on my shoulders.
"i think she misses you," hye-jin said to me.
i nodded, "i think so." i replied while rubbing cho-reum's back.
"how many more minutes before going to my seat?" i asked manager kim.
"30 minutes," he told me.
i nodded and picked up my phone beside me. shin-hye sat beside me and patted on cho-reum's arm.
"eunnie wants to talk to you." i said to cho-reum. she looks at shin-hye.
"want do dance with me?" asked shin-hye.
"kajja, cho-reum! don't wanna join oppa dance?" hye-joon asked. he was standing with dong-won.
cho-reum was still static on my lap.
"eomma wants to dance to. kajja? dance with eomma, oppa and eunnie?" i asked cho-reum. cho-reum immediately nodded and gets up from my lap.
i smiled and stand up too.
"kajja, let's dance! music, juseyo (please)!" i said while taking place beside shin-hye. cho-reum was standing between shin-hye and dong-won.
they started dancing and i watched how cho-reum followed her siblings dance too. all of them likes dancing and dong-won even said that he wants to be an idol like me. i don't know what to say yet. should i allow him to train or not? maybe not too early.
after 12 years old, that's okay. before 12 years old, no. not yet.
damn, if he trains when he's 12 years old, he might debut when he's 15 years old.
damn... that's... wow...
wait a damn minute. no. i'm not gonna let him train at 12 years old. i'm gonna make him train when he's only 15 years old. he can debut when he's 18 years old. that's better. debut at 15 years old? no. not gonna happen. nope.
too young!
"eomma!" i heard cho-reum called.
"nae!" i looked at her and she was dancing.
"i want to be a k-pop idol!" she said.
i was speechless.
"m-mwo?" i asked her again.
"i want to be like you! a k-pop idol!" she said while dancing.
i looked at the other staff who laughed at my reaction.
"no. no. no. no. no. no." i sighed.
"do something else. don't be a k-pop idol. ah, i'll let you debut in america. don't debut here. aish. yah, be something else. ah, i'm gonna be so worried if all four of you become a k-pop idol. aish." i sighed and shook my head.
the staff laughed.
"aish, even my mom 24 hours worried about two of her children. what more me, a single mom, worried about the four of you if you all train to be a k-pop idol and then debut and then lots of badmouths and then, aish!" i nagged and shook my head.
"aish, just do something else. ah! i'm starting to get worried about all of you!" i said and sat on the couch.
"aigoo, hana-ssi, you're worrying too much already," my assistant, min-soo said while handing me a cup of iced coffee. i took it and sip it.
"nae. calm down. they are still kids. their ambition will change with time. unless it's really their ambition," said my mua, ji-yoo. i sighed and shook my head, "ah. i'm already worried of them." i said.
the staff laughed while the kids are still dancing together.
should i start worry about these kids' future?
i think so.
🤎🤎🤎
"shinhye-ssi, before we let you prepare for the dance, can i ask you something?" the actor who is the host asked.
"nae," shin-hye replied while grinning.
"arraseo. so, whose performance tonight are you most excited to watch? can you tell us?" the host asked.
shin-hye grinned and chuckled. she seems hesitated to answer the question.
somi said to me, "if she doesn't say you, disneyland won't be open for her tomorrow." i laughed in response. "she's gonna be left behind." i grinned.
the fans were starting to shout their favorite artists to promote it to shin-hye.
"i am most excited to watch nct-sunbaenim perform..." shin-hye said. i raised my eyebrows to the maximum when she mentioned nct. the audience was cheering wildly and the screen showed the reactions of nct members who were seated a few seats from me.
"ooh, nct. anymore?" the hosts asked again.
shin-hye hummed before speaking. "bts-sunbaenim?" she said again. the audience cheered again. i lowered my head, she's not gonna say speak about my performance.
somi beside me laughed loudly, "eunnie! you're really not in her mind already!" she said.
"ah~, i'm gonna sulk." i raised my head and pouted.
the hosts laughed. he seems to be waiting for another answer but it wasn't the answer he wanted. when the audience cheered wildly, i look at the screen and saw myself. i continued sulking.
"ooh, are you not looking forward to hana's performance?" the host asked before moving the microphone to shin-hye.
she kept quiet for a while before her words made everyone in the dome either burst into laughter or were shocked. mostly, burst into laughter while i was totally done with her.
"who is hana?" she asked softly before giggling.
the idols around me were laughing including somi. she was leaning on me, hiding her face. my reaction was filmed on the huge screen and i was totally done with her. i just put on a 'i'm so done with this shit' face and grabbed a water bottle, taking a gulp while the whole dome was enjoying the teasing from my one and only shin-hye.
shin-hye grins. "of course, i'm joking. aniyo. i'm not really excited for eomma's performance because i've watched her rehearsals and practice," said shin-hye to clear up the might-be controversial moments.
i shook my head and lightly smile. there was a few more conversation between the host and shin-hyebefore the nominations and award-giving ceremony for best male performanceartists were held.
♡