BoBoiBoy
"You can pick for me," She replied, staring at the menu of the Kokotiam whilst my gaze remained solely enthralled on hers, humming quietly.
"Our . . . specialty?" I asked, voice shrinking unsurely as I uplifted my shoulders. Her gaze still averts from mine nonchalantly, and my conscious self would just presume that she would agree because her tone appears to be acquiescing to me or perhaps she unambiguously doesn't mind from the monotonous and dreariness of her eyes. I don't know what she wants, though. I fiddled with my fingers, since she hasn't responded. "A special hot chocolate? Or ice?"
She finally looks at me, however the only expression I could receive is from her eyes due to the facial mask she's wearing on her face. Her eyes crinkles the slightest, perhaps she tugs a little smile. "Any. I really meant it when I said that you could pick for me so don't worry. I just don't know what I want either if it's okay for you."
"Okay . . . An iced one is what you might need, then. Since you're pretty much hot-headed to me again . . ." I trailed off impishly, coercing myself from smiling and leisurely turned my back from her to get to work already.
"Hey, I am not," Y/n replied defensively as her arms rested on the counter and elicited a short laugh quietly, refusing to give me the notion of it. Taking the indication, I nodded, thoroughly fathoming it.
"I know, Y/n. I am just kidding," I chuckled, swiftly turning my head back at her. The last time I said this exact line to her, she was fuming at me, but at the moment she isn't anymore. It feels more easing around her eventually.
"Is that the only thing you percieve in me, though?" She asked and pulled her facial mask down by her chin. For a moment, I inadvertently gazed at every single detail of the features on her face. Her features were brimming with such a strong charisma like when I first met her, and the curves of softness at the same time. It's as though I was scrutinizing it in my mind again before I furrowed my brows in incredulity from her question, rolling my lips inwards before lingering it back to my hands.
"Ahm. What do you mean by that?"
The hot water, sugar, cocoa and extract were being placed in the shaker as I prepared to mix the ingredients. Both of my hands froze. A thought protruded in my mind that I still needed the ice, inducing me to abruptly look for the ice packs being stored around here whilst absorbing her question. I was actually too occupied with my work that I unintentionally forgot what she had just asked me a moment ago was about. Seriously, what's even with me?
"Nothing much . . . I am not that peppery as it seems to you, but I understand that it was kind of the first impression I gave you," Y/n claimed, and I agape, leisurely nodding my head as she continued elucidating on her end, "It's just that I want to make sure you're not having some kind of boundaries on me."
"I mean, uh, it's fine. It's really fine," I assured, placing a sufficient amount of ice on the shaker and began mixing the ingredients. I casted a glance at her awaiting eyes, and smiled lightly. "I don't intend to look at you that way all the time. It's not good to judge others by what you only see. You never truly know what they're going through and their daily struggles."
She looks at me wordlessly, followed by a nod and a little smile in return. "Of course."
"And there's definitely no boundaries I have for you. I was always willing to help you and your brother the other day, remember?"
"Yup, I do."
"I guess that could assure you," I said, and coerced myself from twitching my lips upwards, laughing quietly.
"It's just that you might think I am a meanie or something."
"Hey, I swear that I don't," I chuckled, clearing my throat and pursing a thin smile, "I could ask the same question to you . . . especially to you."
"No, no . . . Of course, we're both on good terms. Why won't we?" Y/n persuaded me to dispel the doubts, and I pursed a thin smile wordlessly. I realized that there were no doubts to begin with, I just somehow wanted to hear the assurance from her side. Heaving a sigh, she tipped her hand. "I think we should not often bring up how we both started because it was just really complicated during those times with the misunderstanding and all."
"Okie," I replied.
Once I had finished preparing her special ice chocolate drink, I turned my body and welcomely presented the cold drink on the counter as a smile widely etched on my lips. "Specially made for ya!"
"Thank you," Y/n smiled, grabbing the drink as she paused for a moment - as though something bothered her mind, tilting her head at me confoundedly. I, as well, returned her a questioning look from her demeanor, blinking my eyes slowly, once, then twice. My mind began reflecting about what the matter is, racking my brain thoroughly yet I remained composed.
"Ah, what's wrong, Y/n?" I asked, playing with my fingers.
"I was just wondering what you meant from what you just said earlier. Specially made for me? Like, what you actually thought was special about me, BoBoiBoy," Her tone dauntless and audacious as I watched her giving it a sip at a loss of words. Both of her eyes were solely focused on the drink, a ghost smile etching on her lips, "It's flattering."
"W-What?" I asked, blinking my eyes slowly, once, then twice as a hand settled on my waist and elicited a quiet huff, shaking my head in incredulous with a wry smile, "Hey, just because you're pretty doesn't mean you could assume that way. It's a special ice chocolate drink that's why I meant it's specially made for you."
"So you think I am pretty?" She asked intrepidly, and I agape at a loss of words. Her gaze lingers at mine reflectively.
"I mean," I trailed off, and agape at a loss of words before rolling my lips back inwardly. My cheeks were heating up from the abruptness of her question, coercing myself to fathom such a simple question yet it, for some reasons, felt like a confrontation. There were barely any girls that I knew who'd straight up caught me off guard and asked valiantly, especially that she is right. My friends know about it, and Gopal said it aloud enough for her to hear it when she was at my house. She is right and she knows, but most importantly, I don't understand myself for overthinking a simple compliment. I shrugged ineptly, averting my gaze from hers, "S-Sure, I think you are. You already knew about that when Gopal said it the other day."
Her lips twitched upwards into a grin rather faintly, then leisurely nodded her head as she sipped the drink, "Okay, you said so, but of course I know that I am either way."
My brows furrowed, casting a glance back at her. Her demeanor of being composed, the valiantness of her tone, and the complacent expression of hers do remind of someone else. It's Fang. She is like a girl version of him and not to mention her hot-headedness when she and I first met is also similar to his. Now, I just realized that the both of them shared the same conception by merely being irritated with a blending pique against me on the first acquaintance. The snobiness . . . the frame of mind, and the wavering temper.
Could it be?
Does this mean that . . .
. . . I am still, by chance, going to be dealing with someone else closely like Fang even though he is back there in the station?
"You've been staring at me for a minute or two now," Y/n stated and furrowed her brows as I flinched, pulling me out of the thoughts rimming in this mind of mine. Impulsively, I looked away as she tilted her head queerly.
"Ah, yeah," I said placidly, swallowing the lump down my throat as I eyed my fingers tapping on the counter playfully, deflecting my thoughts, "It's just that you reminded me of someone else."
Her face was amused. "Really?"
"A friend of mine," I claimed, looking up at her.
"Oh - okay. I see," She trailed off, leisurely nodding her head. Silence was interwoven between us. It's like she was waiting for me if I were to speak from her halting stare, biding her time. "Uhm. Well . . . who is it, then? Do I happen to know them?"
"Ahm . . . I actually don't think so," I replied. The probability is unlikely, but truly similar, "You see, that particular friend of mine barely goes home around here because there's just a lot more things that need to be accommodated wherever my friend is."
"Does that friend of yours have manipulations too?" Y/n asked.
"Uh, yep," I replied shortly, and she remained looking at me, rolling her lips inwards with a nod. I can't tell her much about our duties in TAPOPS because it is intended to be kept confidential by the official members only, however she isn't one.
"Okay, but you know, Ying also told me the same thing concurrently," Y/n stated, and I hummed questionably, tilting my head. Taking the cue, she resumed speaking. "Like, she said that I remind her of this guy, but when I also questioned her out of curiosity, she didn't want to mention anything about it - plus she looked annoyed."
"How similar?"
"I think she said the way I respond blandly at times," She replied, eliciting a short laugh.
"Oh, I didn't know Ying thought the same," I commented, tilting my head slightly.
"That's why I am sharing it with you," Y/n said. "Since you guys are a circle of friends, then I can presume that you and Ying were referring to the same friend that I am similar to, yet you both don't want to mention it. Makes me wonder if you guys have something against that particular friend of yours whenever I bring it up, you know?"
"Ah . . . no, but actually yes," I quipped, chuckling at the thought. "No worries, though, we're all cool about that. It's just some friends' thing. I swear, you two would get along if you both met." My mind was being impulsively curious on what could possibly happen if Fang and her both meet? Will they get along?
"I think so. When given the chance," She smiled, uplifting her shoulders.
Heaving a sigh, I regained my composure and smiled courteously, "Anyhows. Please just enjoy your drink. I might be bothering too much of your time if I speak about my thoughts."
Y/n stared at me for a moment and hummed quietly, nodding her head. She wasn't persisting to question it. The quietness grows deeper, as though there are no other competing sounds to disperse other than the fairly wind in coldness and the faint chattering of the customers encompassed nearby. I clicked my tongue and averted my gaze from hers, solely focusing on the counter and grabbed a pen to compute the orders from each table and finalize the receipt.
The receipt spoke with numbers of what numbers can never convey, but I am pretty much used to it. It's just simple Math for the computation, but the problem is that I am quite careless when it comes to computing it every time.
I would impulsively cast a glance at Y/n, as if she could help me, but I definitely can't let her do my work. She would linger her innocent gaze back at mine reflectively as she sipped her drink, prompting me to shake my head to disregard it.
"Do you need a break?"
"Ah, no," I replied instantly when she bothered to ask, and smiled. "No worries, and you don't have to mind me. Just a little errand here, hehe."
"Okay, you said so," Y/n stated, fiddling with the straw.
My brain suddenly becomes dumbfounded at certain times as my wavering attention spans, so I have to be heedful enough to double check it, rolling my lips inwards as I stare down on the counter. Okay, an itemized meal receipt should have the name of the establishment - which is my grandad's Kokotiam, the date of service, the items purchased, the amount paid for each item, and the tax. Complete, complete, and complete. I am finished with everything. If the tip is not included in the total, it should be written on the receipt.
I was called out by some of our customers just as I had expected at this rate, and I quickly sauntered towards their table with the receipt, taking a tray with me to gather their platters and utensils. I waited for their payment, and discerned that the rest of the tables were merely finished on their own as well, and would be calling me soon enough to accommodate them. I am the one in charge of the shop today, and I insisted on having my grandad rested at home for the meantime whilst I am here.
"Oh, here you go."
"Thanks," I grabbed the payment with my other hand and settled the tray down on the table to start cleaning it up as they stood one by one, "Hope to see you return here again."
Gathering the platters and utensils and placing them on the tray, I swiftly wiped the table until I was satisfied that it was clean enough for the next customers before arranging the chairs back to its position.
Heaving a sigh, I grabbed the tray with my other hand and turned my body to saunter back to the counter, however I was instantly flinched from the abruptness of someone in-front of me - my face even, on my stance, inducing me to shut my eyes as my heartbeat dropped for half a second.
"Hey, BoBoiBoy!"
"Oh, you scared me for a moment, Ochobot," I stated and sighed in relief, uplifting my other vacant hand to my chest as though it could ease my heartbeat palpitating more rapidly than normal. I was not expecting him to arrive here in Kokotiam because I thought that he would stay with grandad and Cattus at home for today.
"Hehe, oops. My bad," Ochobot said with a wry laugh, and I assuredly smiled in response, humming as I walked bypass him towards the counter; he followed me alongside.
"What brings you here, anyway?"
"Nothing much, really!" He replied in elation, giving me a few pats on my back and wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me close as my eyes widened, "I just genuinely thought of helping you because it's the usual weekday and there are a lot of customers especially at this hour!"
"Aw, I said that I'd be fine on my own, though," I stated timidly and bit my lower lip, unable to suppress the urge to smile from his remarks. I almost lost my balance walking due to his arm coiled around my neck, pressing my cheek to him, but I wouldn't complain regarding it. Him and I both cackled it out in a silent laughter. His company makes me feel less alone and instead happy.
"But it seems that you don't even want me to be here," Ochobot said, and I uplifted my brow in incredulence. Even so, I could deem that my best friend was pouting from his eyes alone as he crossed his arms.
"Hey, I didn't say that," I persuaded him with a defensive tone and furrowed my brows. The slightest bit of confusion yet rimming around my mind.
"Hmpf."
I chuckled, leisurely shaking my head. "Come on, now," I lightly grabbed his hand and swiftly pulled him alongside me, then gently let go of him as we entered the counter. My feet skipped a few steps in a frivolous demeanor, settling the tray down near the sink for me to wash the dishes later on.
Impulsively, I approached Y/n from her seat in-front of us. My presence must've prompted her attention to sweep her gaze over mine reflectively, since she was solely focused on using her phone. Her chin rested on the palm of her hand, eyes widening a bit in incredulity as I smiled at her.
"Are you done?" I asked gently, and gestured to the empty drink by extending my hand towards it. She nodded, and I took the cue to grab the empty drink to dispose of it in the bin as she slid her hand to keep her phone.
"Thank you again," Y/n stated.
"Hey, no worries," I said, casting a glance at her as she returned a faint smile.
"BoBoiBoy, I'll be helping you to wash th-" Ochobot flew towards me from my back, and trailed off his statement as he discerned my friend on her seat who happened to linger her gaze at him as well. "Oh, wait a minute. I think she is kind of familiar to me."
"Ah, yeah," I affirmed with a nod, "She was the one that I brought into our house the other day, and you were leaving at the moment too, but you still noticed her since I was carrying her if you remember that."
"Oh! Yes, I do!" Ochobot replied in elation. Promptly, I noticed Y/n's dreary eyelids that are a fraction too slow to blink, and her irises are too stationary. Ochobot moved into her line of sight, flying bypassed me. "Hi, you must be Y/n, right? BoBoiBoy used to tell me some things about the both of you!"
That seemed to snap her, blinking her eyes slowly, once, then twice. "What? Like . . . what?" She queried confusedly, furrowing her brows.
"He-"
"J-Just once and that was merely explaining why I brought y-you there and all," Impulsively, I couldn't suppress the urge to elucidate myself and hinder Ochobot from responding as my lips quivered, fiddling with my fingers. It's just that I hope she doesn't get the idea wrong for some reason, however I don't know why I am being uptight with it either. She doesn't even need to know about it. Like, it's necessary, you know. I subtly casted a meaningful glance at Ochobot as soon as I grasped the opportunity, in hopes that he fathoms my intention.
"Okay, then," Y/n nodded from my response, leisurely.
"Yeah!" Ochobot said, turning to her, "It's actually great to see you here again as his friend too, although I barely see you around, Y/n, but that's just what I noticed."
Y/n's head tilted upward to align Ochobot's level as her eyes slid into focus - immobile as the rest of her face. She seemed to be left flabbergasted on her seat for perhaps three whole seconds before the corners of her mouth resumed their usual softness, and her eyes quitted the stare. Lips twitching upwards, she averted her gaze elsewhere. "It's finally nice to meet you, Ochobot."
"E-Eh?" Ochobot uttered out of an incredulous surprise; an imperceptible question mark from his reaction, "Do you actually know me?"
Her eyes leisurely widened as she agape to respond, however I couldn't suppress the urge to interrupt them as thought merely commenced in my mind, clicked without vagueness as I lifted a finger. "Oh! Actually, I already told her about you the other day - even Ying did, because Y/n, like, mentioned it to me as well when she asked them about our manipulations."
Her gaze lingered to mine in a sole focus rather wordlessly, and she doesn't contradict it. I smiled a bit from her unwavering demeanor, knowing I remembered it right.
"Ah, okie, I understand now," Ochobot stated, "Nice meeting you again, Y/n!"
She smiled lightly, "I am not going to stay here any longer, but I was here for my mom's delivery . . . So if I could get it from you now, BoBoiBoy?"
"Yeah, of course," I gave a nod instantly and regained my composure, swaying my arms, "Which is it, Y/n?"
"Thanks, but the problem is that I am unsure which particular delivery it is that my mom needs," Y/n replied faintly and heaved a sigh in despondency, rolling her lips inwards. I agape, trying to come up with ideas rimming around my mind as my preoccupied eyes wandered around here, tapping the counter with my fingers impulsively. "But, like, it's the usual one that she always orders every week or two."
"Oh, ahm, let me think for a while . . ."
"You can actually check the delivery list that your grandad has," Ochobot suggested - more like a reminder to me as I got caught off guard with my realization, sighing. Right, of course there is a list for that. "It must be there as well since they're a weekly customer."
"Yeah, you're right."
"I am sorry for the little commotion," She mumbled, tugging a timid smile, "I just thought that I had in mind . . . but I forgot to confirm it with her so I might have taken home an incomplete or even wrong delivery."
"Hey, it's okay. I am pretty much forgetful as well, you know," I stated as my shoulders shaked in a short chuckle. Her eyes were apologetic, yet pursed a tittering smile. It was then Ochobot handed me over the delivery list before I took it, browsing the various names written there. "Whose name is your mom?"
"Her name is Hidayah," Y/n replied. I hummed and nodded, rolling my lips inwards as Ochobot flew towards beside me, taking a mere peak from his angle. As soon as I felt his presence, I adjusted the delivery list enough for him to perceive as to not make it difficult for him.
"I found her!" Ochobot stated, pointing the name out.
"Okay," I said, and proceeded to look for the packages in our pantry underneath the counter. I bent one leg while upright to get to a lower position, giving me easier access to check it out one by one thoroughly. We have a storage of hot chocolate drink packages for a week in accordance with their order in the delivery list, however it's not enough when I recounted it to my dismay. I perused the delivery list on my hand, peering my eyes. At least the chocolate pastries that they ordered on reservation are available here, uplifting my head towards the side of the counter. I was able to make it in the early morning when I arrived here in Kokotiam.
"What do we have?" Ochobot asked.
"Not enough," I replied, heaving a sigh as I stood up and regained my composure, prompting my gaze at her waiting ones, biding her time. "Hey, I am sorry but I think the packages are not complete since we're almost out of stock, only the chocolate pantries that your mom ordered, though."
"Oh . . . well, it's okay," Y/n replied, unsure what else to say.
"Like, I can just give it to you even though it's not complete?" I queeried to confirm her apprehension, since it is one of the finest solutions as of now, and what I could minutely think of.
She gave a swift nod, assuring, and I know that she understands the latter with no complaints. Though, thankfully. "I mean, that should do."
"Can your mom possibly return here in Kokotiam the next day?"
Her face turned down in despondency, and sighed, "I am afraid not too. My mom is having a cold at the moment and resting at home, so I can't really assure you on that part."
"Ah, I understand, and I genuinely hope she gets well soon enough," I replied and she smiled lightly, however my mind ought to contemplate and look thoughtfully on the situation, impulsively touching my lips with my fingers. My eyes swept over hers reflectively. "Can I just have your number, then? So that I can give you a message about it later?"
Y/n agapes momentarily, and I am uncertain on what keeps my heart palpitating more rapidly than normal, before she eventually nodded. "Ahm, sure. That is okay with me. I think that's actually better for now too."
Her response gives me instant relief, however I don't understand myself what specifically am I finding quite inscrutably daunting with her reaction in abeyance.
"O-Okay, then," I replied and rolled my lips inwards, passing a note and pen for her to merely write it down on. Promptly, I watched as she took them from me and began writing her number on it. My mind was pondering deeply inside, inducing my perturbed self to not suppress the urge to speak my thoughts out before it thoroughly lost itself from the unbidden thoughts rimming inside it. "Uhm, y-you see, Y/n . . . I just had to ask for it so that I could inform you regarding your packages' arrival after I've confirmed it to my grandad at home. He's currently resting, that's why I am the only one in charge here as you may have noticed. I usually do this to customers w-who are in a similar situation as you are now, just in case you are wondering. The contacting is just necessary . . . I am telling you this so that you wouldn't be confused with my intention with you. It doesn't mean anything else other than, uhm, just b-business stuffs . . ."
"Woi!" Ochobot called out abruptly, and I flinched on my stance, casting a stupefied glance at him as he crossed his arms. "What's up with you now, ha?"
"What do you mean, Ochobot?" I asked confusedly, and pouted.
"Wait, what?" Y/n uttered and halted from writing on her seat, uplifting her head at me in a confounded demeanor as I blinked my eyes slowly, once, then twice at a loss of words, yet perceiving the unwavering flow of her expression. "Ahm . . . why are you even explaining this long to me?"
"Huh? Well, I-"
"Of course, I know very well that this is for the delivery . . . what else should it be for?" She asked, and I was caught off guard by my stance. My mind was rimming with more unbidden thoughts again, and my heart started beating faster from my anxiousness, especially with her indistinct gaze.
I am thoroughly aware of it. It should already be given because I have to courteously treat her as a customer, however I just intended to clear things up; that is honestly all. She and I had a lot of misunderstandings before, therefore it'd certainly make quite a sense for me to become this conscious as well. The problem is that I just realized that there is genuinely no issue, yet I am overthinking with myself.
"Y-Yeah, nothing else but the delivery. I just took in consideration that we had misunderstandings in the past . . . so I was trying to clear things up if I can, you know," I replied and coerced a smile at the corner of my lips, knowing that I patently have no choice but to abide by my heedless way of carrying myself. There is literally no big deal around here, and even though I started this commotion, I wish in silence that she'd irrefutably see where I am coming from.
"I really do get you," She stated, and gazed at me momentarily, before resuming to write on the note. At this moment, Ochobot left Y/n and I to accomodate a customer in which I could presumably ask for the bill out as I subconsciously watched them from afar. Y/n handed the pen and note back to me as my eyes moved to it. "But I think you're being too obvious, BoBoiBoy.."
Promptly, Y/n saw the shockness that registered on my expression before I could hide it, washed blank with confusion, and every muscle of my body froze before a small smile played on her lips until it all came back to me from where that particular line that she uttered was familiar as my thoughts catched up. I merely told her about this at the time I went to her house and had lunch there with her family, and now she is returning the favor to me. She knows what she's doing!
"Hey, that was my line. I told you that first!" I claimed, and ineptly snatched the note and pen from her hand that had her number. She was laughing quietly as her shoulders shaked, keeping her wavering gaze at me. Heaving a sigh, I couldn't be at variance with her, forming a thin smile and leisurely shaked my head. "I literally don't mean it that way and I can sense that you definitely know it - you're just messing with me.."
"And you're just as defensive as you are about a simple number," She retorted impishly, tugging a ghost smile at the corner of her lips.
I pursed my lips in concentration. "Hey, you should know.. you reacted more defensive that time when your mom asked me if I l-liked you even though she just meant as simple friends." My voice tightened, and instantly, I felt the regret within me for bringing it up again but to have a comeback against her. Her face was amused and tilted her head slightly, compared to when I was with her days ago. She would absolutely not let me say that, however she just returned a timid smile, inducing me to laugh it off. "But, yeah, you're just really feeling it, so you're no different from me in a way - hehe."
She chuckled, "Now, you mean that we're both assuming people, is that it?"
"Ha? W-What?" I asked, scratching my cheek.
"Okay, fine.. that makes the both of us, then. But I think it's not a good sign that we are both being affected from what others say about us just because of the way we started," Y/n stated, and I just remained on my stance, listening to her for some reasons that even I do not know of. Her words going through my ear and out to the other, blinking my eyes slowly, once, then twice. "Unless.."
"Y-Yeah. Yeah, I guess so," That's all I uttered, somehow knowing where this conversation is going.
"I'll be using that line as well, and I couldn't help it now that I can seem to understand why your friends mess with you because you look kind of funny," She said, tittering on her seat behind the back of her hand. I gazed at her momentarily as a smile leisurely tugs the corner of my lips. Shrugging it off, I shaked my head and chuckled underneath my breath. In my conscious mind, I find her laugh rather comforting. It feels light. It feels easing to perceive whilst staring at the ground. This feeling is as though something I am cognizant of at some point of my life. Perhaps when I was young.
Why suddenly now, then? At this moment?
I tried my best to hide my smile, bending a leg to reach out and inteptly grab the remaining packages in our pantry under the counter. I walked towards the side to place the chocolate pantries in the paper bags and went back to her, giving the delivery though the packages are incomplete. "Here.. The chocolate pantries are good until tomorrow. I baked them!" My voice came off compelling impulsively, extending a smile.
"Really?" She mused and returned a timid smile. I instantly nodded my head in response as she reached out to take them. "Thank you. For sure it tastes great."
"Yeah, of course!" I assured, lingering my gaze at her reflectively.
Y/n
TUGGING THE CARDIGAN BY HER CHEST, mom heaves a sigh and covers her nose as she leisurely sat on her bed. The cold was evident from her demeanor and swollen eyes, yet she incontinently smiled the moment she discerned my presence as I entered her room once I have arrived at home.
I didn't hesitate to go closer to her and sat by the side of her bed and rested the back of my hand on her forehead to figure out whether she had a fever as well. She feels warm to my relief in my mind, however it doesn't thoroughly ease my pending worry.
Her hand merely held mine, leisurely settled it down. "I'll be alright, Y/n. These colds wouldn't stay for long," Mom stated, keeping her light smile as though it guarantees it. I can see through her eyes that she does not wish for me to worry, however I already am. There's something inside that forbids me to tell her that, perhaps my actions should be more than enough to realize it, and she took good care of me when I barely lived, so I couldn't suppress my developed concerns in return. Even though she was.. still is being selfish to me.
For a moment, I took the bottle of pills out, placing it between her hand that held mine. "Here are your tranquilizers."
"Thank you, sweetheart," She mumbled, lowering her head.
"Our packages from the Kokotiam are downstairs as well," I claimed, and she hummed in response, uplifting a smile grateful for my time. Despite the room being semi-dimmed with the lighting from the curtains that fairly covers the windows, I could discern her eyes were fixed on the bottle of pills, presumably reading through it. "Do you need anything else too?"
A quiet sigh came off her. "Not at all. This should be good for me to recover from my colds," Mom said, and I rolled my lips inwards, leisurely nodding my head. Silence was interwoven. Silence is as fine as tailor when one's thoughts are a silken thread, but mine is not. It never was. I will forever be haunted by it and the only way out is for her to explain what happened to me thoroughly.
"We need to talk.. mom," I said rigidly, suppressing the silence from lingering any longer in the room, and hindering any more unbidden thoughts. She casted a glance at me, flabbergasted, however I do not hold back as she scrutinizes the flow of my unwavering expressions.
She knows very well regarding what this is all going to be about. This isn't the first time that I asked her to tell me everything that has happened since the day I ended up here. Recently. Everything that has happened recently is the most important thing that I need to figure out. There is genuinely something wrong every single day of me being here, and I could not ignore that urge within me that I am very much needed somewhere else.
"Is this something really important for the both of us to talk about?" Mom asked and kept her composure, averting her gaze from mine back to her hands. She knows it. She knows that I know - that I always knew. The air is so brittle that it could snap, and if it doesn't, I just might impulsively.
"Yes, however.." I trailed off, yet her gaze is fixed on the bottle of pills, listening to my statement in abeyance. "We can talk about it once you feel better.. For the meantime, I will take care of you and guide you to your recovery."
Mom looked back at me, and this time, I affixed my eyes elsewhere. I can't get myself to hold a grudge against anyone, especially that she has nothing but good intentions for me, and the family. Truly, I am more than grateful to be sheltered, fed, and given love along the way. My concern for her is over my avidity. I am trying to understand the occurences on all sides - from mine, hers. But what I do not understand is why she is trying to avoid it when I ask her about this - about me. It's still being selfish on her side whether I know her reason or not. I can.., already have been, getting it back myself, however I do not have any more time to spare.
When I presumed that she had nothing more to say, I sighed in despondency. I stood up from her bed and turned my back, sauntering towards the door as my hand went in my pocket, grasping onto something that I had managed to sneak in a while ago.
"How much do you know, Y/n?" She asked, and I was consciously surprised by the abruptness of it. I stopped halfway, and glanced over my shoulder; it was difficult to read through her mix of emotions plastered on her face, however it was inconceivable for her to distinguish mine that is nothing but blankness with a blending pique rimming around my expressions.
"More than enough."
( 6, 171K words )