A letter from his diary.
07-Nov-2018
Dear Ell,
It's harder to write to you some days because everything I want to say to you is better left unsaid.
I remember the first time we met, we were assigned a project in pairs and I approached you not knowing you would accept my offer. Mr Gerarld went on and on about how this was one of the most important classes we would take this semester- I didn't realise how right he was.
We exchanged our interests for the project and you looked furious, I secretly smiled even though I was mad at you for reasons you didn't know. You asked me for a pen when you realised you had forgotten yours and I gave you mine even though it was the only one I had.
I sat there and looked at you, struggling to bring up the diary I knew you had. Conflicted to ask for what was mine. Just like that, days turned into weeks and strangers turned into friends.
I'm always brimming with things I want to say and do and sometimes it overflows- in the form of this letter perhaps, and whenever that happens I struggle to rein them in.
You've been making me nervous these days. I always put more thought into my appearance when I'm about to see you, I want you to notice me, this never used to happen before, but now rarely it doesn't.
My feelings for you have crossed the threshold of friendship and I keep hoping you would see me the same way all the while knowing that I'm the one keeping you from really seeing me.
I'm scared now, I don't know how you'll react if I tell you all this, despite how much I know you, I can't predict that.
I think I'll be able to cope with whatever it'll be unless it is disappointment.
Sometimes I feel like a phony, like a con; like I'm misleading you with two versions of me, but believe me Ell every side you see of me is as honest as I can be.
I am a different version of myself with everyone I have in my life, it's not necessarily dishonest, it's just not the whole- real me, but with you I'm all of them and more, there's a side only you can bring out in me and in that version, I'm most unreserved and happiest.
Yours Truly,
Jay Walsh
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Excuse me so that I can go cry in a corner... some happy tears.
This book is finally completed! OMG!
Please drop a review of what you thought of it. 💙
If you have forgotten to vote while being too invested in the story, I request you to please go back and vote on all the chapters you liked, It would really help me out a lot and make this story more visible :)
The song above/to the side captures the essence of this whole story, it's a Korean song and if you watch the music video you'll understand what I mean.... (The actors in the music video are Asian, but the main characters in my story are not, but other than that I imagine their personalities to be somewhat the same.)
Thank you so much for reading it and being a part of this journey till the very end. I really appreciate your support.
This was one of the hardest stories for me to write, mostly because I'm not very well versed with the third-person perspective and the prose was getting a little too purple at times and it was hard to balance that.
I'm aware that there are some plot holes and maybe I need to go over the timeline and also make some minor improvements in some of the poorly written scenes...But all in all, I'm happy with the first draft.
If you have any suggestions to make this story/ plot/ etc, better during editing leave it in the comment section.
I'll be revisiting and polishing this book very soon, but I hope you like to read it in its raw form anyway.
If you like this book, make sure to read other books on my profile, they are centred around similar genres and themes and you'll probably enjoy them too.
Thank you.