[Chapter 4]
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A/N: This is a long chapter but very important.
⚠️This chapter includes vulgar display/language and domestic violence.
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It was Damian, laying on the floor like a dead animal. I rushed into the house and sat down beside him yelling at him to wake up or at least make a move. I was angry, and upset, more than I had ever been in my life, and I didn't understand why.
"Wake the fuck up, Damian!"
I kneeled and shook his unmoving body like a maniac.
"DAMIAN!"
Then I noticed his hands moving and I woke up myself from the sensation of death and remorse I was put in by him. I sighed in relief.
He placed his hand up to cover his eyes. It seemed that he hadn't noticed me yet. You idiot wake up, wake up already. For a second, I thought he was dead. He seemed to move a little bit again.
"What's wrong with you?"
I put his head on my feet to keep him steady so I could check his heartbeat. He seemed really out of it. He groaned and buried his head in my belly unconsciously which had my defenses going up to full speed.
"Hey, wake up. you drunk mother-"
I stopped when his hand grabbed my ass.
"What are you doing?!"
I decided to ignore it and tried to pull him to the couch. He is way heavier than me, it's normal for such a tall man. After various tries, I had brought him to the couch, but now I needed to pull him up. It wasn't easy but I made it somehow. I put a pillow below his head and covered him with a blanket. I went to close the door and take my suitcase to my room.
"I warned you not to come back."
He reached for my breasts and abused them with his right hand, while the other was still in his eyes.
"Why are you here again?"
His primal warnings and needs could be sensed in his tone and it made me shiver, I feared this man, and not because he could kill me, but because he has no intention of doing so.
"What the hell is wrong with you dude? You call me stupid. What about you right now? You think you are smart. Funny!"
I put his hands under the blanket and touched his forehead. He had a fever, classic I thought, why is everything with him seem to be so weird? Probably because I always overthink but don't pay any attention to them,
"Stay here, do not move until I come back"
"Oh, are you taking care of me, sweet Beth? I could teach you how to do so if you want me to."
"Shut your dirty mouth and stop your stupid tricks. They don't work on me and you know it."
"Of course, you're no ordinary woman, Beth. You make me want to endure the chase and enjoy the meal at the end. But don't think for a second that if I can't catch you, because you know it for yourself that if I wanted to, you would be mine a long time ago."
"There is no chase nor hunt here, Damian, because neither one of us are the prey."
"This is where you have miscalculated, sweet Beth. You made yourself my pray the minute you dared to look into my eyes."
"Stop talking."
"Why are you here, witch?"
He grabbed my hand while asking me, he was looking at my eyes again, and I flinched in pain.
"Why do you always seem to care about me, witch?"
I knew he wasn't going to let go if I didn't answer him.
"When I understand that too, I will let you know. Now shut your damn mouth and listen to me for once."
"Shut my mouth!?"
'How dare she!'
Narration
He put his hand aside and looked straight into my eyes. Not a second passed before he cupped the back of my neck and dragged me down, towards his mouth.
"If you want it shut, do it yourself. Do you dare, little witch?"
I felt my mouth go dry as I looked back into his emerald eyes.
"Don't test me if you're not ready to accept the consequences."
He said in a cold tone and I immediately withdrew. I have been here for ten minutes how come...
"Will you kiss me?"
"N-no!"
I replied and he seemed convinced, or maybe not. He had sat on the couch eating the things I made him after he watched me cook. I glared at him from time to time angrily, so that he wouldn't think I had gotten over it that easily. After some time I went over and gave him medicine to drink with water.
"Drink the water, idiot."
He raised a challenging eyebrow. He was so drunk that his game almost seemed to go down a grade or two.
"Because you don't get to talk back until you have fully recovered."
I continued. I took the glass of water and helped him sit on the couch.
"Move so I can sit and feed you, your drunk ass."
To be honest, I don't understand why I want to help him feel better. I didn't question anything as it would lead to nothing I would like to admit. I almost tripped on the table while moving toward him.
"You heavy ass hole, I won't be able to move a finger by tomorrow."
I realized after a second that I said that out loud and it sounded wrong.
"Mmm, is that so? Thank you miss Kappa for your honesty."
I started feeding him, he was very obedient which was weird.
"What is it, sweet Beth?"
"W... what happened?"
I asked looking at the soup and then into his eyes worried. I tried to hide my feelings, almost perfectly, but he seemed to notice something.
"Drank."
"Really? That's it? One word?"
I put my hand on his forehead again, he seemed warm. I had a worried and questioning look on my face. I was going to find a thermometer so I could measure how much fever he had. He didn't let go of the hand that was on his head.
"No, it is comfortable like this."
He said while laying down. I put the soup on the table, I was really worried then, I'd never seen him like this.
"Are you feeling okay?"
He didn't say anything, he just hugged my hand. It shocked the hell out of me but I suppressed it. I touched his forehead again, he had a bad fever.
"Let go, I will come back to check on you when I find a thermometer."
"There is one at the first counter in the kitchen."
I went to get it and came back running. I told him to put it on, but he seemed exhausted so I did it myself. I took it out and it said 40C.
"You have to take a cold shower so the fever will go down a little."
I told him but he couldn't stand without my help.
"Okay, thank you."
He said trying to stand up, I caught him before he fell.
"Do you need any help?"
I asked with a worried voice.
He looked at me implying that I wouldn't dare go with him to shower.
"I will help you this once because I don't want anyone else to worry, tomorrow you can say what happened to you."
I said trying to convince myself more than I was trying to convince him. He looked at me surprised. I put his arm around my shoulder and helped him to the bathroom. I put him in the shower with his clothes on and open it to cold. The water ran all over him and he wiped it out from his face with his other hand. I was still holding him because I was afraid he'd fall.
"Are you feeling any better?"
I asked looking into his eyes. He pushed me in with him and got closer to me.
"Thank you."
I was wet too now.
"You're welcome. I am going to get you some towels."
I tried to calm myself as he rubbed his hard body on my clothed one. Still, the sensation was way too real and close.
"Be careful, call me if you need anything. I am going now."
Even if I did my best not to look at his member, the feel of it implied its size. It scared the hell out of me, this kind of thing should not be real, and yet here I am, feeling all of it.
"Wait."
He grabbed my wrist and I froze on my feet.
"W-what?"
I stood there, my back facing him, but he could see my eyes from the mirror and I could too.
"Why are you here, Beth?"
"I-?! What? I wanted to see the old couple that's why!"
I said hurriedly and left, thinking that I was way out of my place there. I came back and gave him a towel, and helped him to his bedroom.
"There, wear this."
I gave him fresh clothes to change into. He stared at me intently.
"Ah! Right!"
I went out of the room and got changed too. Then waited for him to change.
"You alright in there?"
I asked but didn't get a reply. After some time I went in and saw him laying on the bed holding his head. He seemed to be in pain, he hadn't even put his shirt on. He was in a pitiful state, I helped him to lay straight down on the bed and put his shirt on. He hugged me.
"I am sorry for troubling you, sweet Beth."
The feel of him was warm, his cold aura dissipating into small pieces around us. But still was there, never left us, from the beginning to the end.
"No trouble, I hope you will be careful from now on, I'll go get you some wet towels to put on your head."
I came back and took care of him. I made him more soup so he could recover faster. After two to three hours he had been asleep. I covered him with the bedsheets and covers. I sat in the armchair beside the bed so I could be there if something happens. After some time I was asleep too.
•••
The next morning I woke up in his bed for some reason. Damian wasn't in the room so I stood up and called out his name. He was in the kitchen making breakfast.
"Hey, hey don't do that, you haven't fully recovered yet."
I yelled at him. He looked at me smiling coldly, I took him to the couch and continued making breakfast for him.
"I told Nana that you couldn't make breakfast for them alone so I would help. I have to return the favor."
I replied that he didn't have to and told him to just get some rest until he was fully recovered. This was weird, wasn't it? But hugging and being closer to him felt natural, I didn't think too much.
•••
After some time Damian had passed out and I heard Sheila coming through the front door.
"Hey, Beth! Today I'm going to have to entrust you with the kids! Since the adults are going out of town for some time. And the old couple is well, you know, old and I can't trust them with Damian as you know-"
"Ay, shush!"
She stopped when she saw me shushing her.
"Can you stop running your mouth for just a second? The big devil is finally asleep. Cut me some slack will ya? I have been taking care of his stupidity the moment I came here. What is wrong with him anyway? He said thank you to me like five times already. I am starting to get scared. Should we send him to the hospital or what?"
I murmured so I wouldn't wake him up.
"What?"
I frowned at the face she made.
"No. I didn't do anything to him, he got drunk and wasted all by himself. You can't blame that on me!"
"As I was saying before you started mumbling over your dead husband-"
"Don't even try me with that shit, Sheila!"
"Well yes, let's move on. As I was saying, can you please help me with the kids? I need your help."
I was confused as to what she meant by that because she knew I wouldn't be left alone with any kids. I was afraid of them, well not really, but I was afraid if I stayed with them alone. There were chances of me snapping at them at any time and I didn't want to hurt them. There were chances of me snapping at them at any time and I didn't want to hurt them.
"What do you mean Sheila? Are you asking me to be left alone with the kids? Don't you already know that even dead I wouldn't do that?"
"No, Beth, you listen to me-"
"I thought I explained to you the reason behind not wanting to be close to any children, especially alone. And you know how much I love these kids. Don't do this to me, Sheila."
I started panicking, not knowing what to do to refuse her.
"Beth, I didn't say-"
But, before she could speak I cut her off.
"What about Damian? He won't be able to help at all. I can't be near children alone and he can't even stand up. What if he pretends that never woke up from his drunken state? He's not some good person you know. Of course, you do! Also what if something happens to the kids? What if I scare them What if I do something wrong? What if I do something they don't like?"
I was panicking now, pacing up and down the room, I wanted out of this.
"Beth, stop this! You know this isn't the past anymore. You can do it-"
I cut her off again as I was mumbling.
"What if they don't want to play with me anymore? What if they hate me after What if I hurt-
But Sheila was the one cutting me off this time.
"Beth! No, stop!"
In my head, I had already gone through a million possibilities of what could go wrong. See, I could just snap at any time with kids, I couldn't control it. She seemed to already have noticed it. She came towards me, I took a step back from her, not wanting to hurt her feelings or hurt her any other way possible.
"Oh god, Beth, I didn't know this was so serious. You need to solve this problem. How are you going to have any children in the future?"
I stumbled and looked her right in the eyes. She returned it with a knowing look, she could see through me.
"What children? What future? Sheila, it's not like you don't know-"
"Shut up, Beth! You clearly can't distinguish what's in front of you."
You screwed up every tiny bit of your life yourself can't you see it?
"What possibly could you do to these children after I, myself have seen how much you love them?"
Hearing her question, what had happened five years ago came through my mind in a split second. I started shedding tears without any sobs. It was like I was losing it slowly but steadily. I remembered the kid I had beaten so badly just to steal his food, he was only five years old. When I first was taken there, they put me with the kids and the strong men. We the -newcomer-' as they described us were easy food for them. I had to beat up so many kids and people. I had gotten so beaten up by some of them back. It wasn't easy to survive like that at all
"Beth? Beth? Beth!"
I looked at her again and put a hand up as she stepped closer wanting to comfort me. I couldn't take any of it though because I knew if anyone touched me right now they would be as good as dead, so I stepped back again
"Stay away Sheila, I don't want to hurt you. This was a mistake I shouldn't have come here, I don't want to hurt any of you. I should go, now, go, go away, go find my sister, go find my sist-"
I had already started crying, Sheila pulled me into a tight hug,
"No! you can't die!"
"You are not the only person with issues in this world and you know how much I need you. At first, I didn't expect to be such good friends with you. I trust no one and you know it. You can't go find your sister! No! I won't let you leave me too. No..."
She was crying now too.
"I-"
I didn't want to hurt her so I shut my mouth.
"It was my fault for not explaining to you right away. I was going to watch them with you and when the adults came back I would go on my date. I didn't expect you to react like that, you... You've been strong, not letting anyone or anything gets to you that I completely forgot you are still a fucking human."
"I am sorry too..."
I whispered, these words came so rarely from my mouth, that I thought I'd forgotten about their existence. She didn't let me go, and I was grateful for that. I saw her looking at the corridor and then it hit me. Damian, how come I've forgotten about the devil in such circumstances? Sheila knew I still hadn't recovered from my panic attack and didn't want me to go away. She seemed to already know what I was thinking about.
"No. No! Beth NO!"
I ran out of the house, without looking back.
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A/N: Hey you, tell me, how has your day been?
What do you think about this chapter?
Things will get ugly in the next few chapters, I wish you like it!
Thank you for reading!