Is this where my story ends?
My journey through high school, is it over already? Not that I'm going anywhere, but the world here is a very different place from what it had been like before.
Not just the world, but the people in it.
Actually, it was mostly the people. It seemed everyone was different from how they were in middle school.
Not that I had known any of my fellow classmates in middle school, but the attitude, the thought patterns, the emotions were completely upside down.
I came here to move on from my past, to return to the Honami I had been before the incident, but it seemed that was a task more complicated than I had imagined.
I guess I really was naïve...
I came here to experience what I had missed out on, to return to the days on the playground, to spending time with my friends. To enjoy life and get along with everyone, to spend three years of high school in a happy peaceful time.
But that wasn't possible anymore.
Most of that I blamed on Ayanokouji, although it wasn't really his fault.
In the end it was mine.
This school encouraged competition, the forced it to happen, and he simply picked up on that earlier than most. No, the real person to blame was me.
Me and my naïve ideals.
I thought everything would be the same, that everyone could get along happily. And it was that thinking that almost doomed my class.
Of course, I was more than ready for the competition. A challenge to reach Class A, sure I was all for that. It was fun, exciting. A reason to interact with other classes, in a friendly battle for the top. I had made some moves, tried to build connections in other classes, not just out of friendship but to establish feelers. The only person who saw through me was Ayanokouji.
I guess that's what I get for not being completely sincere in my friendship with him.
I had wanted to be friends, but at the same time I was trying to use him, at least his brain, in a small way. No, it wasn't his fault for striking back at me, for breaking me off from my class, it was my own for violating my ideals.
And in my class, it was over. We had spent the day playing at the beach, before relaxing on the cruise ship, and at first everything seemed ok. After the commotion with the reveal of the results, and Kanzaki's betrayal, it seemed everything had gotten back to normal.
But I could tell what was going on.
I'm not so naïve to be unable to read the room, to tell everyone was wary of me. Of course they did their best not to show it, my beloved class of friends, but none of them seemed to know what to do, how to react.
Because they were right, it was my fault we almost lost. And it was Kanzaki who saved us.
Which is why it wasn't a surprise when he called me up to the deck that night and told me bluntly he wanted me to step down from my leadership position.
And honestly, I agreed with him.
I wasn't capable of being a leader. I wasn't capable of making the hard choice, of prioritising people, of going up against the cruel ruthlessness in other classes. I couldn't do it.
All I could do was be a good friend.
And there they went, my dreams and hopes, rushing off the boat into the black expanse before me.
I was no longer a leader of Class B. Actually, when we returned to school, we'd be Class A now, and I had nothing to do with that.
That was Kanzaki, and even then, it wasn't really him. Everything came back to Ayanokouji. It was the genius of Class D who saved us, for reasons I couldn't understand.
I found him this afternoon, relaxing in his cabin alone, and I asked him then. I asked him why he chose Kanzaki over me, why he tried to isolate me from my class, because it was clear that was his goal. Everything he had done, all the words he had spoken had been to undermine me and break me off.
His response left me more confused than ever.
"Out of everyone in this school, there is no greater threat to me or my ally than you, Ichinose. Kanzaki is weak, so I removed you, and left him to fail."
I didn't see how I was a threat. I was plain old Ichinose. I wasn't a genius like him or Sakayanagi, I wasn't cold and ruthless like Ryuuen. I couldn't compete with them; this exam had made it perfectly clear. I was a naïve little girl, who thought the world could be united in kindness.
There was nothing I could do, or would want to do, beyond special exams that could threaten him. I wasn't cruel or vicious, and I didn't want to target him. I had given him a warning, yes, but it was an empty promise. I didn't think I could bring myself to expel anyone, not really, and I'm pretty sure he knew it too, when he told me I was like Nagumo.
I wondered what Nagumo would think.
His protégé, the student he had selected to succeed him, couldn't even lead her own class. I was a failure in that manner too.
'One day I'll be the Student Council President' I had told him. What a joke. I truly was pathetic for thinking at that. He had chuckled at the time. I thought he was simply impressed by my ambitions, but now I could see the truth too.
He was laughing at me.
And he was right to do so.
In this school, I couldn't be me. That was what I had learned. If I wanted to reach Class A, as I have the entire time, I couldn't remain as the kind Ichinose, the person I always aspired to be.
Kanzaki could lead the class, but he couldn't unite them. That was something I knew for a fact, and it was why I had ended up as the leader in the first place. Yet in the end, I wasn't capable of being a leader. Neither of us were.
Class B was an excellent class, with an excellent, if quirky, homeroom teacher. All of my classmates were incredible, and I loved every minute I spent with them.
Yet, I didn't think any of us alone were capable of standing up to the likes of Ayanokouji, Ryuuen and Sakayanagi.
I had been watching what happened at the meeting. Class A had collapsed far too easily, the students too happy to see Katsuragi fail. If what I suspected was correct, if Sakayanagi had had her followers intentionally lose the exam just to take control of the class...
There was no one in Class B who could fight against ruthlessness like that.
I looked over to my right, towards the prow of the ship, where the only two other people on the deck were standing. The greatest threat to me and my class, who for some reason I couldn't understand had singled me out as a danger, and the girl who I assumed he meant was his ally.
Ayanokouji and Kushida were standing there together. I heard Kushida laugh, loudly and happily at something, before leaning her head on his shoulder. Obviously, they were very close, which was a given considering they were working together, but why either of them considered me a threat I couldn't fathom.
The two of them – and what a strange pairing it was – were together quite often. I had joked about them dating when I first met Ayanokouji at the special building, and even though they had brushed it off, there was definitely something between them.
I couldn't believe Kushida would target me, though. For whatever reason she had sided with Ayanokouji, I still knew her as one of my closest friends in the grade, outside of my class, and she was too honest, too kind to have a problem with me. I don't know what Ayanokouji was talking about, but I couldn't believe I could ever be at ends with Kushida.
But I wasn't going to lose.
If Ayanokouji thought I was just going to role over and take it, to simple be isolated from my class and my friends, cut off as untrustworthy, removed from being leader, then he didn't understand who I was.
Whatever it took, I would get back up. I had pulled myself out of a deep darkness to come to this school, and I wasn't going to abandon that effort yet. No, Kanzaki, nor anyone else, myself included, could stand up against him. Ayanokouji was beyond reason, beyond understanding, at least to me, but eventually, Kanzaki would falter. The class would suffer, they would go against him, and while I didn't want to imagine it, they would probably lose.
When that happened, I would be there for them. I didn't blame them for pushing me out of the leader role, I had made too many mistakes to fulfill it. But I would stay strong. I would remain Ichinose, the girl I had once been, and was trying to be again. I would hold the class together, and keep the peace and unity we had enjoyed for months so far.
And when we faltered, when we stumbled, I would be there to help put the pieces back together, to stand beside Kanzaki, with the classes faith in me restored, and together, united, we could win.
It wouldn't be easy. It was going to be incredibly hard. But to defeat the emotionless boy standing at the front of the boat, it would take all of us together.
Maybe, the class was done with me. If that was the case then I would respect it.
I could live out my days at this school as an ordinary student, leaving the leadership to Kanzaki, or whoever took his place if he too fell. I could spend time with my friends and get along with everyone.
But my class had trusted me to be leader. I had let them down, I had let Nagumo down, I had let my hopes and dreams down, but I would not give up on them. If the day came when they wanted me back, or needed my help, there was nothing I would like more than to once again stand beside them.
This school wasn't a nice place. It tore people and friendships apart. It incited betrayal, sabotage, and all manner of nasty tricks. I couldn't survive in an environment like that. I was a naïve kind girl, who had learnt her lesson now.
I won't play the same game as my opponents. I'll play it better. I'll show them, that I cannot be broken. I'll show them, that one day I will be leader again.
And I'll show them, that this isn't where my story will end.
Authors Notes:
Aight, I crushed my written matlab exam, for whatever fucking reason someone came up with that. Written code without documentation of google should be annihilated. One down two to go. Once I get home I'll be settling in with a mug cake and Y2V5 MTL. It's out! Yay! In case anyone wants to read it, it was done by RoyalMTL, here you go:
https://royalmtls.wordpress.com/cote-year-2-volume-5/
For those who haven't read it yet, enjoy Y2V5. I can't wait to read it and not have to hide from the subreddit anymore, despite hating MTL with a passion. Seriously, there's always some basic stuff that's messed up and makes it super hard to follow every now and then. Not that I can really complain since I'm so hyped to finally read it.
I would still like to keep the no spoilers policy, since it won't have an impact on my story, and I know there are people who prefer to wait for official translations (case and point: my beta, who still hasn't found out about bullshit Nagaymo confession in Y2V4.5), so if we could keep that up that would be wonderful.
Onto the relevant stuff.
I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHO ICHINOSE REMINDS ME OF!!! Euphemia from Code Geass. They're literally the same character. Kind and considerate, but not idiots. Both are pretty smart, and can be sneaky about stuff, and both are kinda naive about the way the world works. They're literally identical.
This chapter was interesting to write, because I know whats going to happen to her as this story goes on, and it's not going to be fun. Poor Ichinose. Writing it with a positive outlook was difficult, but I'm pretty happy with the way I captured her character.
Ichinose is Ayanokouji's greatest threat? I mean I kinda like the idea. His entire strategy, in the novels and this fic, is to avoid being noticed, to work within the problems and behind the shadow of people not understanding. While Sakayanagi and Ryuuen are strong opponents, Ichinose threatens his ability to exploit weaknesses and engineer situations, since she would create a dictatorship of unity. Head on he can crush her easil, but the way he operates would never work when going against her class. Like really, the way he fixes Ichinose's bullying problem is by causing more rumors. Anything head on or united is a much harder obstacle for Ayanokouji to face, at least in my opinion.
Also, definitely Kushida number 1 enemy. For obvious reasons.
Anyway, that's all for my ranting. As always, hope you enjoyed!