My questions are left unanswered as the car collects us from the half way house, a sort of home for at risk youth. When I'd first met the young girl, she's struck me as someone of privilege given her clothes and her phone, yet she'd proven once again that one must look beyond appearances.
"Thank you." I tell her, eyeing the shivering lycan beside me. She looks back from the front seat, uncomfortable being in the small vehicle, it was likely she'd never ridden in a car much as I hadn't. Most people in this time rode by tram or walked, using the clunky individually driven vehicles had many reasons for causing people to question their mortality.
Carefully, I reach over to place my hand on Verando's shoulder. "We're going to get you some help."
The way he braces causes me to crumble just a bit on the inside. I'm not sure if he worried if I'd strike him or was uncomfortable with the idea of being touched. I could empathize with both as I retract my hand. "I'm a lot warmer than you, if you want to come over here."
Wrinkling his nose, he shrugs closer to the door, untrusting. "How did you know about Marisol? How did you know my name?"
Pulling my lips into a thin line, I consider this. How much could I reveal? How much were we already damaging the past? I knew better than to suggest his father sending me. "Would you believe me if I told you it would be very dangerous for me to reveal that?"
With a scoff, he shuts his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm not interested in men so I suggest you keep your 'warmth and danger' over there."
The tangled gray hair entices me to brush it from his scuffed face, yet I keep my hands firmly clasped in my lap. I'd battered him suffiently tackling him to the ground and chasing him over creation, he wasn't in the best shape when he arrived here. Despite his state of withdrawal, he did his best to put on a face and appear to be full capable of dispatching me, I admired that bravery.
If nothing else, seeing him like this made me even more desperate to get back to my version of this man.
Our home isn't quite set up to house two werewolves but it's the safest place we could think of for the two beings that would determine our future. My warlord chews on his thumb, anxious as the new faces wander in and out of the front door in a frenzy to set up the two guest rooms on the first floor. As long as the two were here, he would not be sleeping.
I step through the doorway, thanking one of the men carrying in the bars they would install over the windows to prevent escape.
"Just until we figure out how to send them back," Lotta reassures him, but I'm fully aware that their presence in our home wasn't what was bothering him. Footprints tracking in dirt, people touching things, he'd be cleaning for the next week if I didn't find a way to distract him.
"Whatever room you put.. me.. or the younger version of myself in.. lock it up tight. Windows, doors, seams, nothing that can be picked from the inside." He mutters to a passing technician. Tiberius has arranged for a medic to arrive in short order and assure that these two crucial beings were in good enough health to return to their time.
Landon was still attempting to flesh out a scope of what could happen if current selves intertwined with past selves. This had not been done before, predicting the consequences seemed to be on a nearly infinite scale from nothing to the end of time as we knew it.
I cross my arms lightly over my chest, followed by the young girl who'd tranquilized us, while I wasn't sure what provoked me to ask her to come with us it felt wrong to leave her on her own.
She raises her eyebrows when she sees my husband, doing the mental math.
"It's complicated," I tell her.
"Tonic will be on guard with Marcello. Pascal is staying with Legardo, he's going to be okay, he just needs some time to heal. As far as the kids-"
"Bring them here." Verando tells Lotta firmly. "I can't.. I just can't have everyone spaced out like this. It's driving me mad. Gardo's children, bring them here with Darrius and Xavier. I want Stefan and Leo as well, twenty-four-hour surveillance, constant rotation of six hours shifts. We can not afford anyone to be reckless. Send me Tiberius when you find him, I'm sure he's in hiding from Tyr, he's answering his phone but not long enough to track him."
Lotta nods, jotting down the notes, she knows better than to test him when he's like this. "I'll have Ron bring them."
"I need tabs on Helen, Echo and Kestrel. Establish a perimeter and keep them out of it, do not allow them back into this city while this is going on."
Lotta raises her eyebrows, "A perimeter? Are we going to war?"
Stiff, he rolls his shoulders, "Prepare for the worst, darling. No one goes in and out of this ring without me knowing about it, everything from identification to scans for magic must be accounted for. I don't need another shape shifter attempting to get in here, no press, send out word that I'm on holiday and leave it at that. Any elemental attempting to get within fifty miles of this house is to be shot on sight. Do you understand?"
Lotta had her course moments, she could be strong willed and opinionated, but she was a woman who understand the consequences of poor management and loose ends. Most of all, she respected the retired dictator. "We are going to get through this. Tell me what you need, I'll do my best to keep my people out of your way. Ron is running interference for the press and I've already put an order to move some of the Dead City unit here for extra protection while Caspian's elementals are at large."
"Thank you, Lotta." Verando exhales, running a hand through his hair as he moves past the flurry of men shuffling past. "For the love of the gods." He reels himself in, resting his hands on the counter top in an attempt to ground the mounting anxiety.
I knew him to well, war had scalded us both, while he thrived in the belly of battle, he struggled with the lack of control. We did not own this hodgepodge army and the rules were different now. Our lives were in the hands of those who made calls based on laws and not truth, it was why he wanted our community brought here.
He would protect us, just as I would make sure to protect him. I make my way over to him, carefully touching his arm.
"Nic." The sigh of relief makes my shoulders relax just slightly as he wraps his arms around me. Burying his nose in my hair, I slip my arms around him to cling to the strong form. I memorize every inch of him, trying to erase the image of the thin young man from my mind. Taking in my scent, he holds me impossibly close only to freeze when he spots my tag along. The rumble in his chest causes me to tighten my grip, holding him together.
"Randy, this is-"
"Delilah." She extends her hand. He makes no move to shake it, wrinkling his nose slightly as he glances her up and down as he angles me slightly away. My timing couldn't have been worse for introducing him to a new member, the poor girl might have been safer in the half way house. Retracting her pale hand, she clears her throat as she wraps her arms around herself. "Nic, this was a bad idea."
Releasing my husband, he grips my arm, refusing to let me out of his immediate proximity. "Randy, Delilah helped me. She helped me when I was lost, she helped me find-" I hesitate as his eyes catch mine, warning me not to reveal anything in front of the outsider. "Can I speak to you? Alone?"
Appologizing to Delilah, I take his arm and guide him through the living room onto the back porch.
The cool air was refreshing on my overcharged skin, still coming down from the enhancer, I rub my temple absently as I attempt to gather my thoughts. When I realize it's too quiet, I see him braced as he stands, watching me.
Just like in the car, he was uncertain what I was going to do to him. It cuts me to my core, I'd always wanted to know him, to know of him. Now, I wish I could unsee that poor boy who's only thought was survival. The two youths who were hardly men, so tired and underfed, so used to surviving, that the future could not tempt them into any sort of fear or wonderment.
They had accepted it, almost as if it were deserved that they be cast into some new realm, or perhaps they were grateful for other opportunities.
The question had been left unanswered, by the look on his face, he was waiting for me to begin.
Relaxing my shoulders, I make a point to exhale and drop my energy. I wasn't upset with him, I was upset for him. I knew it was bad, I'd known his life as a child had not been the picture of luxury, but seeing it before my very eyes had been more than I'd prepared myself for.
"Please say something. I can't lose you again."
His voice startles me, I gape at him, pulling my eyebrows together. "What?"
Vulnerability crosses his expression as he looks reluctant to repeat himself, I can't stand to see him so crestfallen. "Hey." I correct him, quickly stepping up to him to capture his face with my hands. Patiently, I wait for his eyes to meet mine, brushing my thumb over his cheek bone. "Randy. I'm not upset with you." It comes out strong and smooth, assured that it was the truth.
"You have every right to be." Capturing my hand, he brings my knuckles to his lips, stress clouding his eyes. "If I had hurt you.. I could never forgive myself."
I want to hold him, to cling to him, and wait for the stress to leave his body. But I had to get to the bottom of this. Much as I wanted to coddle him, Verando had never responded to a soft touch, seeing him as his former self I could now understand why. Capturing my lower lip in my teeth, I consider my words as I intertwine my fingers with his to cup his face.
"Randy." I begin, his jaw tightening under my palm. "What did you take? What..." How do you ask someone what their life was like when you had nothing to compare it to? It hurt him to think about, it hurt him for me to know this about him. But it was something we could no longer avoid, if I was going to help him, I had to delve deeper. "What's going on?"
Exhaling, he watches my eyes as he steps impossibly closer. "Opium." He sighs, ashamed as he drops his gaze. I tug his face back to my view, refusing to let him hide. "I was depressed, angry.. I was on Opium if I got the age right. Caspian was getting it for me, he could probably tell you more."
"A pain killer," I remember my father taking it to help him sleep. At least it wasn't something especially heinous. Relief was washing over me, opium could be dealt with, it wasn't something beyond a common addiction the middle class of our time could develop. My vision begins to blur and I quickly dab at my eyes, taking in a sharp breath.
"Darling please don't cry. I'm so sorry you had to find out this way." Smoothing away the wetness, he cups my face, pressing his forehead to mine. "It's not something I ever wanted to share with you."
Shaking my head, I can't stop the few tears that slide down my cheeks. I throw my arms around his midsection, pressing my cheek firmly into his chest as I listen to his pounding heartbeat. "No, it's not that. I promise, gods, it's not that. I just..." Shutting my eyes, I wish I could get the feeling of him out of my head. I spread my fingers over the muscular back, making sure he was here and healthy.
"You were so thin," I whispered finally, hugging him tighter. "The way you looked at me, as if there was not a being in this world who cared about you. You didn't go after Caspian, you went for a drink, and when I found you it was as if you were just running down the clock. Randy, I saw your werewolf and I think Alpha was just trying to keep you alive. He didn't try to attack me, not intentionally-" Sniffling, I feel the emotion welling up in my throat.
I had to tell him, I had to let him know that Alpha was not the bad guy, that he was not a monster. He was just a kid turning into a man who was trying to survive. "My family might as well have been the one to have damned you for all that I blame myself for. I like to think I would have done something if we had known but gods know that in our own time you were damned."
Stifling a sob, it feels selfish to allow myself to feel this way when it was his life I was mourning.
"Nic," With his index finger curled to capture my chin, he lifts my gaze. "I would go through hells fire if it meant ending up right here with you again. I'm going to make us safe again, and when this all over, I intend to properly celebrate our wedding." The pang of regret hits his voice, I stretch on my toes to capture his lips.
My hands trail up to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him down to me. "I never want to get married again." I manage with a sad chuckle. "I just want to have you to myself again. I'm sick of sharing you."
Brushing his nose against mine, his strong hands rest on my hips as he tilts his head to kiss me. I can't help but melt against him, only to almost whimper as he pulls away to make a face and then take in the scent of my hair. "If you missed me so much, the least you could have done is shower. You smell like burning atmosphere, did you bathe in the blood of magic users while you were out chasing my youthful self?"
"Ass." I snap, poking his chest with my own reenactment of his patented eye roll. "Maybe I didn't miss you." I had completely forgotten I'd practically trained him to sniff out magic, he was one of the few lycans in existence who could smell when someone had been using.
With a scoff, he wraps his arms around me from behind, bending to kiss my neck with a playful growl. Dragging his teeth over the junction of my neck and collar bone, I can't stay mad at him as I growl back in response. "I love you, stench and all." He teases.
"Such an ass." I sigh, only to pause at the familiar golden eyes watching us from the doorway.
Caspian takes a step back before disappearing into the house. I knew he had suspected, I could see it on his face in the hospital, but proving him right hadn't been my intention in the least.