・❥・
7 years later
I'm going to throw up. I'm literally going to throw up and everyone's going to see and make fun of me. People are going to record it and someone is going to push me into my big pile of throw up and then I'm going to throw up even more. The video is going to spread throughout the whole school and I'll be the laughing stock on campus forever—
Okay! I need to stop. I'm not actually going to throw up, I just like being dramatic and making things a bigger deal than they actually are. The truth is, I'm just nervous. Like really nervous. It's my first day of junior year today and I'm kind of freaking out over here if you couldn't tell. I don't know why I'm freaking out because I literally do this every year, but... I just am. That's just me. I don't know if you can call it anxiety but I get really anxious and then I start to overthink things that will most likely never happen. I have a mini freak out party and then I'm okay... sort of.
I'm standing outside of my homeroom class right now and it's very awkward. Random people are just standing around doing god knows what on their phones. I don't know if other people do this but when I'm in an awkward situation, like walking in the halls or standing by myself, I hide behind my phone. Not literally but figuratively. I just turn on my phone to the home screen and look at it like it's the most interesting thing in the world. It really comes in handy in situations like these.
"Okay everyone," my homeroom teacher says with a clap of her hands, "Please come in and take a seat anywhere that you'd like."
I'm one of the first people to enter the classroom and I automatically pick a seat at the very back of the class. It's always been like a natural reaction for me to pick a seat at the back of any classroom. I'm just the most comfortable there and it makes me feel less exposed.
My homeroom teacher walks to the front of the class and introduces herself, "Hello everyone, my name is Ms. Jay and I will be your homeroom teacher this year. I'm going to pass a seating chart around and all of you are going to write your names on it. These will be your seats until I decide otherwise."
She hands the seating chart to one of the students in the first row and then continues to talk. "I will now be handing out your revised schedules for the rest of this semester. If you want to make any changes or have any questions, you can speak with your counselors."
I continue to mind my own business, just looking around the classroom and surveying my classmates, when Ms. Jay calls my name.
"Sage."
"Here," I answer in a quiet voice.
She walks over to me and hands me my schedule. I look it over and then snap a quick picture of it to my best friends Peyton and Margot. They respond after a few minutes, and I sigh in relief when Peyton tells me that we have English class together and Margot says that we have P.E. together.
The bell finally rings, signaling the end of homeroom. Everyone stands from their seats and walks out of the classroom going their separate ways. I know the school pretty well, having been here for two years already so I don't have to stress about not knowing where my classes are. Thank god.
❦
The bell had just rung, ending second period. I was making my way to the garden area where Peyton, Margot and I have hung out the past two years.
"SAGE," Peyton screams when she finally sees me, running up to me and almost knocking both of us to the ground.
My two best friends: Peyton Addams and Margot Chen. We all met in sixth grade and have been inseparable ever since. They are my favorite people that have stuck with me through everything. I don't know if I would be here without them. They're both amazing people with beautiful personalities and there is never a dull moment when we are together.
Laughing I hug her back with just as much force. We release each other from the hug and then Margot comes crashing into me hugging the living daylights out of me. We literally hung out all summer and they're both acting like they haven't seen me in ages.
"Margot, I literally saw you guys two days ago," I force out with a laugh.
"Yes, we're aware, but we still missed you," Peyton says with a frown.
"Are we not allowed to miss our best friend?" Margot adds, also frowning. I roll my eyes at their dramatics.
I stick out my tongue at both of them which results in all of us laughing. Once our laughter has settled down, we go sit at our usual little round black table with an umbrella coming out through the middle of the table.
"Okay, now that we are done with the chit chat, I have some serious stuff that I need to tell you guys," Peyton tells us, all the humor wiped from her face.
"How serious?" I ask with a roll of my eyes because honestly she can be even more dramatic than Margot and I combined sometimes.
"Very serious, so pay attention," Peyton answers, clapping her hands still keeping up with her serious façade.
Margot and I lean back, preparing ourselves for whatever the hell is going to come out of Peyton's mouth next.
"Okay," Peyton starts, "So I was sitting in second period minding my own business doing my own thing, when all of a sudden someone comes and plops into the chair next to me. I turn my head to take a quick glance at the person but end up having to do a double take because holy fuck he was one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. I don't know how long I was staring at him but I think I might have drooled a little," Peyton admits with a light tint on her cheeks.
"And you want to know the worst part? HE LITERALLY CAUGHT ME STARING! I literally wanted to die right then and there. The dude probably thinks I'm the biggest weirdo ever!" Peyton finishes with a groan, dropping her head to the table making a loud smack.
Margot and I look at each other and then go to comfort our overdramatic best friend.
"Peyton, honey, he doesn't think that you're a weirdo. He was probably staring at you too because god knows you're a work of art," Margot comforts
"Peyton, I need you to hear me loud and clear, you and Margot are two of the most beautiful girls that I have ever seen in my whole entire life. If he thinks that you are weird then screw him because you are absolutely amazing. You are weird don't get me wrong," I say which earns me a slap from Peyton, who still has her face squished between the table. "But you also have so much to offer, so I don't think that you should worry about it too much. Okay?" I finish.
"Yeah," she sighs. "I guess you guys are right. Thanks for the pep talk, now I only feel like punching myself in the face fifty times instead of one hundred. The dude probably won't even remember tomorrow."
"That's the spirit!" I exclaim standing from my seat.
Margot and Peyton laugh also rising from their seats when the bell rings, informing us that nutrition is over. We all give each other a hug and then head our separate ways, readying ourselves to take on the next two classes of the day.
❦
I'm walking out of fourth period when I get a text message from Peyton saying that she and Margot are already waiting to get lunch in the cafeteria lunch line. I reply back telling her that I am on my way.
As I'm walking through the halls, I allow my thoughts to wander. I see all of these people walking through these halls laughing with their friends and I realize how insignificant I truly am. I'm one student out of five thousand in this school and one person out of over seven billion in this world. If I were to disappear, I don't think anyone would notice.
I've lived a pretty mediocre life. The world could make do without me.
My depressing thoughts are cut off when I spot Peyton and Margot in the lunch line.
"Hey," I greet. "Do you guys know what they're serving today?"
"They're serving turkey club sandwiches and pizza. What's your pick?" Margot asks.
"I'm getting the turkey club. I ate so much pizza last year I swear all of the pepperoni made my hair even more red than it already is," Peyton admits.
"I don't think that's possible. Anyways, I'm also cutting back my intake of pizza or else I won't live past the age of forty... maybe even sooner than that," I say with a laugh.
"WHO NEEDS A LIFE WHEN YOU HAVE PIZZA," a kid behind us screams, scaring all three of us.
We all turn around and stare at him wide eyed. His eyes are the size of golf balls and his mouth is wide open with his tongue hanging out. He looks like a crack addict, but instead of crack, he's addicted to pizza. We all eventually turn around and decide to ignore the pizza addict behind us.
"So, how were you guys' third and fourth period classes?" I ask the girls.
"Argh, don't even get me started. I got the worst chemistry teacher to ever live," Margot explains with a defeated expression on her face. "I've heard that she gives a lot of homework, so I'm not looking forward to it at all."
"It's okay, if you ever need help with anything, just know that Peyton and I are here to help with whatever you need."
"Yeah, don't worry. We've got your back," Peyton finishes with a smile.
"You guys are literally my favorite people in the whole entire world. I don't know what I would do if we had never met."
We all go in for a group hug, when Pizza Addict behind us interrupts. "Oh em gee, you guys are the most amazing friends that anyone could ever ask for," he says in a sarcastic tone. "Now could you move out of the way, SO THAT I CAN GET MY FREAKIN' PIZZA PLEASE! God damn."
"Sorry," we all say at the same time, trying our best not to burst out laughing.
When lunch is finally over, Peyton and I begin our journey to fifth period: English. My favorite subject. Yay! Note the sarcasm. I absolutely despise English with all of my being. Not going to lie, I'm pretty good at it, but I hate having to read books that aren't romance, annotating, and writing about things that I could give less than two shits about. Like hello, I already know how to speak English, and I don't know how writing a persuasive essay is going to help me in 10 years when I'm a doctor and paying taxes.
Peyton and I walk into English, and pick two seats in the back of the classroom right next to each other. Peyton is aware of my fear of sitting in the front of the classroom, so she didn't even hesitate picking the seats all the way at the back of the classroom. I love her.
When the bell rings, and everyone is in their seats, my teacher begins to speak. "Welcome back students, my name is Mr. Lawson. I will be your eleventh grade English teacher this year," Mr. Lawson states.
Mr. Lawson continues speaking, telling us a little bit about himself, the class rules, and the syllabus for the class. He talks all the way to the end of the period. I stand up, push in my chair and walk out of the classroom after bidding goodbye to Peyton.
On my way to the P.E. field, I spot Margot.
"Margot!" I yell, immediately regretting it because it caused way too many heads to turn and look at me. I give them a sheepish smile with a light tint on my cheeks. What's even worse about the situation is that Margot didn't even hear me, so now I look like a crazy person yelling random peoples names in the halls. I mentally facepalm myself for being such a stupid idiot. I'm never doing that again.
I decide that I will just meet Margot at the field because I don't feel like running after her. I don't like any sort of physical activity. I unconsciously shiver at the thought of having to do any sort of exercise.
I find Margot and we walk to a green pole that has a paper with our P.E. teacher's name written on it. We wait near the pole for the teacher to come out and start the class.
After what feels like an hour waiting out here, the teacher finally walks out of the gym. Is it just me, or do all P.E. teachers take forever to come out and get their students. You get paid full time, so get your ass outside and do your job, jeez.
The teacher introduces himself as Mr. Griffin. He seems pretty cool to be honest, so I'm glad about that, but something that just made my day is the fact that we don't have to do physical activity if we don't want to. Mr. Griffin said that if we aren't feeling like doing exercise, then he will give us a topic and we can write a five paragraph essay on it. I absolutely despise writing but it means that I don't have to do P.E. then COUNT ME IN. Nothing can ruin my mood now, I mean nothing!
❦
I take that back. Something is definitely going to ruin my mood. I just heard the refrigerator open, so I'm just waiting for my sister to call my name in 3, 2—
"SAGE," my younger sister, Avalon screams from the kitchen.
Called it.
"WHAT?!" I yell back.
She comes barging into my room and I already know that this is going to be bad. "WHY DID YOU EAT MY CANTALOUPE? I CAME HOME IN THE MOOD TO EAT SOME AND WHEN I LOOK IN THE FRIDGE IT'S FREAKING GONE! WHY DID YOU EAT IT?
Woah, okay.
"Ava, take a deep breath and calm down. Mami bought another cantaloupe, you can cut that one. There is no reason to get all crazy psycho ex-girlfriend on me, okay?"
"You ate my food! What else am I supposed to do?" she yells, "Why do you always have to go around and eat everything? My gosh."
Um okay.
She doesn't even wait for a response, walking out of my room with steam still coming out of her ears. Honestly, I'm glad that she didn't wait for me to say something because I don't even know what I would have said. I'm left there, frozen, staring at the door like an idiot until I feel a tear slip down my cheek. I let out a frustrated sigh and immediately reach for the AirPods that are on my nightstand. I slip them into my ears, blast my music and fall asleep to my bad bitch playlist so that I can drown out my sister's harsh words.
Word Count: 2545
author's note:
HI HI HI! I'm so sorry for being MIA and taking my book down, but I was looking over it and realized that I wasn't a big fan of the plot or the writing, so I wanted to switch it up and improve the book the best to my abilities. I hope that you all end up enjoying everything that is coming!
Be sure to let me know your thoughts on the book and the characters :)
I love you and I am proud of you. I hope that you have a beautiful day <3
elisa <3