TW: suicide attempt, depression (throughout chapter)
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*Dream POV*
I didn't know what woke me up. All of a sudden my body jolted me awake and within a few seconds I was standing, calling out George's name. Why wasn't he in the room with me? I wasn't particularly worried, but it was still causing a little concern. He would often wake up before me and hang out in the kitchen or living room until I woke up, but it was still dark outside. I looked at my watch. 4:06 a.m. Weird. I should probably make sure George is okay wherever he is. I threw a shirt on and wandered into the living room, expecting him to be watching TV like he sometimes would do. I didn't see him in there, though. I frowned and looked to my right in the kitchen.
*caution: suicide attempt*
There, standing by the table in the small amount of moonlight, was George holding a kitchen knife to his throat. My mind didn't understand the situation right away. I watched as he took a deep breath. He whispered something to himself like he was psyching himself up. All at once, my body and mind caught up and I sprinted over to George faster than I ever had.
"George!" I yelled at him. He fought back as I tried to wrench the knife free from his grip. He was a lot stronger than he was a month ago. I finally got the knife free from his grip and placed it on the kitchen counter. "George, what the fuck?" I was fuming, but I told myself to take a deep breath and calm down. I shouldn't be mad at George. I can't.
*end of suicide attempt*
"I'm sorry, Dream," George said in a monotone voice.
"Can you just go wait in my room, please?" I sighed when I saw him leave the kitchen. God, what a fucked up thing to wake up to in the morning. I took all the knives I could find and placed them in a drawer. I zip-tied the drawer and made sure it was secured before looking around the kitchen for other sharp objects.
*caution: suicide attempt*
Before I can start looking, I hear glass breaking in my room. My heart pounds and my legs shake uncontrollably. "George?!" I call out in my room. I frantically run to the bathroom and see him holding a glass piece to his wrist. It looks like his wrist already has a cut on it so I jump into action and put pressure on the wound. I drag him out of the bathroom by his wrist and push him up against the wall outside the bathroom. "What is wrong with you? Why the hell do you keep doing shit like this?" I questioned him.
*end of suicide attempt*
He doesn't respond and I can't help but get angrier and more concerned. He's almost completely emotionless. He looks into my eyes for a split second and that's when it clicks. "Did you do all that shit last night because you were planning on killing yourself today? What was all that last night?"
We sit in silence for a while before he responds, "It was goodbye, Dream. Goodbye cuddles, goodbye sex. Everything. Was. A goodbye."
My eyes fill with tears but I refuse to let them spill. It takes every bit of me to not show how hurt I am. "George, you know I can't... I can't just let you go."
George scoffed and rolled his red eyes now gathering with tears. He nodded like he was considering something. He looked to the left and then climbed on top of me, switching our position. He kissed me roughly and pushed me hard against the wall. He kissed down my neck and grinded against me. I didn't understand what was happening. It was a complete mood switch and it felt like he wasn't doing this because he was horny. It felt like he was doing this because it was a distraction of his emotions, or maybe from both our emotions. I didn't want this now, though. We had to talk. I tried to push him off me and at first, I thought it was working until I turned my head to see him reaching slightly behind me and picking up a piece of glass. While he kissed my neck, he positioned the glass piece above his wrist, but I managed to push him off me with so much force that the shard fell out of his hand and he fell back, bumping his head on the wooden side of the bed.
"What the hell are you doing?!" I yelled at him once again. It was like taking care of a toddler who was prone to injuries.
I picked him up and restrained his hands on the bed like I did yesterday. I occasionally looked at him as I pick up and vacuum the glass and make sure there's nothing else sharp in the kitchen. The only time I take my eye off him is when I go outside to throw the glass away in the garbage can out there.
I come back in the room to see George looking up at me, sobbing uncontrollably. He wasn't trying to hide his sadness and tears anymore. He let it all out and didn't seem to care I was standing in the doorway, staring at this mess of a boy that I loved.
I sat down next to him on the bed, getting a little deja vu from yesterday. I took a deep breath. I wasn't sure if I was ready for this conversation, but we needed to have it. "George," I started. "What... what is going on?"
He shook his head. The tears, for the most part, had slowed down. "Can you let me out of these?" he asked.
"If you tell me exactly what's on your mind."
He nodded and I unlocked the cuffs. "So?" I asked him again.
"Can we go to the couch?"
"No, George. Stop trying to change the subject. Tell me now."
He started to cry again and at this point, I couldn't hold back any feelings so, like a baby, I picked him up from the bed and cuddled him in my arms until he stopped crying. When his tears stopped dropping, I asked him to tell me what was going on yet again.
He took a shaky breath and said, "I'm lonely, Dream. I wasn't sure why I was so sad until I realized that I have been socially deprived for months now. Months. I'm frustrated, annoyed, lonely, missing home, missing family, missing friends... I feel so fucking trapped here. I used to like it, Dream, I really didn't mind it. Maybe that was because I thought you were going to let me out sooner or later... I don't know. You have to realize somewhere in your weird ass serial killer brain that I-" His voice broke and he started to cry once again. If it was possible, his tears seemed bigger.
Though it broke my heart, he had to understand why I couldn't do that. I looked down, preparing to say the thing that would break his heart. "But I can't let you go."
George, still sobbing, nods like he expected my answer and cries harder than he's ever cried. "You can't or you won't?"
I shook my head, holding back tears. I wasn't expecting it because I was the last person he wanted to see and talk to at the moment, but he collapsed into me and cried into my chest. He clutched the back of my shirt and I decided that I needed to comfort him. I knew I was the only person that could comfort him now. I wrapped my arms around him which made him relax into my chest more.
*George POV*
After a couple of minutes of just crying and Dream trying to calm me down, I quieted and pulled away from the hug. I didn't know why I basically threw myself in Dream's arms... maybe he was the only person that could comfort me.
I wiped my eyes and gave Dream a small smile. God, I'm going to miss these beautiful green eyes. I touched his cheek. I'm going to miss this cheek that I kissed so many times. And those cute little freckles on his nose... and his lips. My fingers traveled down to his lips and brushed them softly with my fingertips. I moved my face closer to his and slowly, softly, but passionately kissed the man I loved and hated. Dream gave into the kiss and pulled me in closer. He gripped my waist and I snaked my arms around his neck. The kiss lasted too long, but also didn't last as long as I wanted. I was the first to pull away and instead of pulling back and looking at him, I hugged him tightly, not truly wanting to let go.
I just had to do it. I just had to find the courage fast and do it. I took a shaky deep breath and pulled out the small glass shard I pocketed. "Dream?" I started.
"Yes, baby?" he whispered into my hair.
I let a tear slip and trembled in his arms. My lip quivered as I whispered back, "I-I'm really sorry."
"About what?"
I raised the shard and plunged it as deep as I could into his back. I missed his spine which is what I was going for, and instead, I hit his shoulder, making him scream out. He unwraps his arms and clutches his shoulder. I ran out of the room and didn't look back to see what happened to him.
I heard Dream yell my name desperately as I got out the front door. Though the sun wasn't up and it was raining, the air was thick and smelled like dew. From the bottom of his driveway, I heard Dream at the top yell at me to stop, but I was so far - I couldn't stop now. Even though this was new scenery and it was exciting to me, I couldn't stop and smell the flowers. I had to keep going. Instead of continuing on the concrete road, I dove into the woods and ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I heard Dream running behind me, leaves crunching and branches breaking, making me jump.
I ran until I saw a single light. I couldn't help but smile - a road! A car! Something! I stared straight at the light as I ran, scared it would go away if I blinked or looked away. I guess that was a stupid idea because I tripped over a log or a big branch. This shit only happens in horror movies. My head throbbed as I sat up to start running again. I tried to start running again, but my vision was blurred. I leaned against a tree and felt my head with my hand. Even in the darkness, I could see blood on my hand in the drizzling rain. I groaned at the sight and the pain but tried to run again.
"George!" Dream yelled again, this time very close.
No, I couldn't go back with him. I stumbled as quickly as I could to where I saw the light. When I arrived at the edge of the tree line, I realized the light was a single streetlamp on a narrow road. I saw a street sign that I couldn't make out. My vision was too blurry. I leaned against a tree at the edge and tried to focus my vision before I started to walk down this road. A car passed on the road - too fast for me to even comprehend it passing until it was gone.
My head hurt so bad I could barely stand. My knees buckled and I collapsed on the ground. I crawled onto the road when I heard Dream yell my name closer than ever.
"George! Please, let's go back to the house. I'm sorry!" he said reaching out his hand from the tree line.
"No!" I shouted, now almost to the middle of the road. If I just made it to the other side, I could probably crawl through that ditch, hop the small fence, and then get to the other side of this highway or whatever this is. Dream crept closer so I stood up despite my legs and mind telling me to stop.
"George, I'm so sorry, please. Just come back with me and we can talk at the house."
"And then what? Huh? You'll torture me again? Deprive me of basic human rights? Fuck me until I shut up and stop trying to run away?"
Dream shook his head while looking down. "George, I won't do anything again if you don't want me to. Tell me what you want and don't want and I'll give it to you. Please stay with me."
"No, Dream! You'll fall back into your pattern soon enough and by the time I'm 20, I'll have more scars than cells in my body. My personality will completely change into a fucking emotionless drone. Fuck off and let me go!"
"George-" Dream started.
"No, Dream! Just please, stay back, Dream. Please, let me go." I held my hands up in front of me. "Yes I fell in love with you but I can't live like this."
Dream stopped walking towards me and looked at me dead in the eyes. I could see his concerned but also hopeful face in the streetlight. "You - you what? You've never... I've never heard you say that. You really love me?"
I chuckled out of tiredness and finally being able to say what I feel. "Yes, I love you, Dr-"
*3rd Person POV*
Just as George was about to say the thing he had been wanting to say for forever, a car came speeding down the street, and despite the driver slowing down when he saw George, it wasn't quick enough. George tumbled down the street a few feet and finally fell over on his back, not moving... at all. Dream, completely traumatized and shocked, pulled up his hood in the rain and ran to George. He dropped to his knees by George and hovered his hands above him, not knowing what to do.
"G-George?" He said, touching his shoulder. When he didn't move, Dream shoved his shoulder and tried to get him to move.
As he was crying, he dug in his pocket and took out George's phone that he kept with him at all times. George only asked about his phone once and Dream had told him it was destroyed, but he intended to give it back to him some time or another. Dream dialed 911 and gave the street name and minor details, but hung up before they asked for any details about him.
"George?" Dream said again, sniffling and crying. "George, please, wake up. The ambulance will be here soon. Hold on, okay?" Dream took George's hand in his and kissed it. "Fuck, where are they?" Almost as if on queue, sirens go off in the distance.
*George's POV*
I don't feel anything. All feeling in my body is gone. Except for my face. My face hurts and I can feel the raindrops falling on it. I hear Dream saying something, but I can't make out what it is. Something about a car... hit... someone was hit? Wait-he said... he said my name?? Am I... dead? Or almost dead? I hear sirens in the distance. Dream sniffs and kisses me on the cheek.
"George," I can tell he's crying. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I'm sorry for everything I did and I'm sorry you had to live like shit here... I'm so sorry. I-I love you so much, but-" I can hear tires screeching. "Fuck. I have to go, George. I love you. Never forget that when you're up there in heaven." I love you, too, I want to say. He kissed me on the lips and I longed to kiss him back, but I was too tired now. I was too tired to stay awake now. This indescribable warmth pulled me close. It was too comforting to say no, so I grabbed onto it and let it pull me into the light. I smiled, I was finally free.
*Dream's POV*
I ran into the woods when I saw the ambulance pull up. I watched as they checked the guy in the car first. The paramedic shook his head as he felt the guy's wrist - no pulse. Serves him right. They checked on George and the paramedics exchanged glances with each other. They knew him from the missing posters and the news. I heard one paramedic say to another, "Start chest compressions on him immediately when we get in the truck! Start up the defibrillator! We'll need that, too!"
I sobbed into my hands, not being able to comprehend the situation in front of me. They lifted George's lifeless body into the ambulance and I watched as they started pushing down on his chest, over and over. "No pulse, still! Keep trying!" I heard them yelling at each other. Before I could see any more, they closed the doors and drove off, down the road with the dead body of the boy I loved.