: ⚠️R@pe⚠️
⧗ ⴵ
She cried a dozen times before she accepts the fact that Natasha left her in the harsh grasp of redroom. Natasha promised that once they had a chance to escape she will bring her to the outside world, she knows they still wouldn't be free but she still nodded and hoped like how she hoped that someday she will get the peace she - they deserved. Yet here she is staring blankly at the dying girl in front of her as she see the head of Redroom - Dreykov- smiling at her in such a disgusting way, it's not only because he was the man who detained her and trained her to kill but because he was looking at her like she was a food to be eaten. It disgust her. It disgust her in more level she can't comprehend. If Natasha is here she would save her even though she know she couldn't, even though she know she isn't a saviour.
After the training she was called to accompany him. She isn't as innocent as she looked. She know what a man as evil as him wants to a puppet woman like her. He greeted her with a food she don't usually eat. It's tempting but she swallowed her hunger and stare at him like she was dead, and to be honest she is dead. She is dead and so does this man in front of her. There is no way he's alive. She know it, she seeks any life within those eyes but she see nothing except a man that was too lost to be saved. She tried to cried and begged but it didn't helped, instead she was asked to beg more and to get on her knee, and she did. She did and she actually think he will feel even a little sympathy but he did not show any. Now she is on her knee for different kind of reason, but she still begged, not beg for freedom but beg for something that put so much pain in her heart and something she don't want to do but need to comply. Her mouth was stuffed but not from food. It disgust her but she is willing to swallow anything for her life. She was ordered to lay in bed, and if she was a girl she once was she would easily comply thinking that she'll finally got the sleep she needed, but it was once, she isn't that girl anymore. It didn't only pained her when he forced himself to her, a man who was old forcing herself to a woman who's not even half his age, it also hurts her head that many woman had been treated like this, many kid was taken from their la la Land and brought to this wicked load of shit world. She was forced to enjoy such a thing she doesn't enjoy. Her tears wouldn't fall and it pains her more than how much the old man shove every piece of him in her. It still wouldn't fall after the old man finished his climax and even after he walked away without even an ounce of sympathy. She was left in the bed, staring emptily at the dirty ceiling with her body aching from both training and......
What he did was beyond disgusting.
He was utterly disgusting.
-
She was ordered to hunt Natasha and to bring Natasha back in the redroom alive. She agreed, without even hesitating. She was thirsty for revenge. She was thirsty for Natasha's blood. When they met for the first time without the four walls of Redroom she got the urge to tear her apart. She didn't, not yet.
"Natasha Romanoff is indeed a beautiful woman" She compliments, and it isn't a lie. Natasha is still very beautiful. She still have that sharpness but softness she once craved after a long day of training.
She was worried for a second when Natasha raised her eyebrows as if trying to recall something, but the look of recognition didn't come instead she was greeted back with a shrug "Who told you that?"
The once alive me.
"Why, everyone of course!" She exclaimed, the same way her younger self would.
Natasha smirked at her, the same way she would whenever she would make her flustered and blushing. She felt a twinge of happiness knowing that Natasha didn't lost herself. She pinched her knees for that, it is wrong, it is completely wrong to feel happiness for someone she would betray and for the woman who betrayed her.
She was greeted by Natasha's friends when she became an agent. She was jealous. Really really jealous that she thinks about killing every one of them in their sleep. It isn't jealousy because Natasha had friends, it was because they had freedom of being with her without any secret barrier. And at that day she wished she killed Natasha right when she had the chance.
She get a constant reminder what her truly intention is whenever she would reciprocate Natasha's friendly banter or sultry smile. She feel disgusted by her own actions, Natasha was just part of the plan, nothing more nothing less. She grew more and more frustrated when Natasha seems to make a move. She isn't against from the idea that her and Natasha might be a thing soon, but she knows, even when she likes to kill her now, that Natasha deserves someone that will not betray her in the end of the road, and someone who don't think of killing her. Natasha deserves better. She deserve someone that isn't her.
Lucifer know (She can't really use the G word knowing the thing she was doing) how much she tried to move back in any of Natasha's advances. She tried to lay down for another person, Steve Rogers. He was a gentleman in everything. He was the man who treat her right by doing things a decent man should do. He was the man who listen to her story and blabber. He was the man who Natasha glared. He was the man who take everything slow and sweet. He was the man who like gentle sex and all. He was the man every woman in the right mind wish, but her mind isn't right so she didn't wish a man like him. She did not even wish a man in the first place. She want someone - woman preferably - to wreck her in every way possible, who's willing to do things she would hate. She was scared for a moment when she think about liking someone that is close to what Dreykov is. She was scared that she crave someone like that. But it was short lived, when she laid for Natasha and offer every ounce of her without any coercion she realized something. She realized that she don't want a faceless someone to wreck her, she want Natasha. She want Natasha to wreck her all day. But right now she wouldn't ask for that, right know she asked - begged Natasha to do it faster and rougher. Rougher and faster to make her a moaning mess. Natasha complied to her begging.
She thought it will feel like how Dreykov used to. She thought at the end of activity she wouldn't cry and she would just stare in the ceiling. She was proven wrong when she cried like she let out the tears she's been keeping for years. She thought Natasha was just like Dreykov, both broke a promise. Natasha promised to take her with her to freedom, Dreykov who promised freedom once she was dead. But she was once again proven wrong when Natasha caressed her intimately and kissed her with too much softness that it almost disgust her.
She was so angry by the gesture so she slammed Natasha against the bed and bit every part of her, some bled some not. She was so angry by the softness so she tugged her red hair until she received a pained groan. She was so angry so she slammed her fingers in and out of her with all the force that she could muster. But her anger becomes beyond when she looked at Natasha's face and saw intense pleasure instead of pain. Natasha should feel pain. She should. She should feel the pain she felt every night when she laid and spread out on the bed after being used in many ways. She should feel the pain to the point where she don't cry anymore because she's so fucking used to that kind of thing. She should feel pain not pleasure.
But she remember that she is Natasha. She was the girl who loves to tease her. She was the girl who took care all of her wounds. She was the girl who would hugged her like she will always be there for her. She was all that. Natasha was everything she could ask for but didn't deserve. Natasha might not had saved her but she is still Natasha.
Once Natasha brought back from her climax, she kissed her. She kissed her like it was her one last time, and it was. Natasha was the last person she would willingly kiss.
What she did was beyond disgusting.
But she isn't disgusting like the way Dreykov is.
-
She did not accomplished her last mission, which was Natasha, so now she is back to being a Dreykov's toy. She was being used again. And what is worse is she found out that Dreykov's daughter is being used by her own father. Well, she found out years ago but she didn't expect her to be a complete mindless puppet, she was more mindless than she was. It was horrible thing to do to your daughter. She know Dreykov for being a terrible person and a man, but being a terrible father is another level of terribleness. He was indeed beyond disgusting.
She was ordered (again) to bring Natasha. She agreed without hesitation again. She didn't have those techno-something they planted on another girls so everything she did and will do is not because she is gonna die in just one tap but because she wanted to. And she wanted to hunt Natasha again and the good thing was Natasha is coming to her, to them.
They met again but this time they are inside the four walls of redroom again. She was waiting for a hit when she step forward to her, she was willing to get hit by her. She was willing to break bones or even die if it is Natasha. However Natasha's fist didn't collide against her mouth but Natasha's soft lips instead. It was forceful like she want them to be merged into one. Her conciousness is slipping. She chuckles as she slumped on the floor, unconscious.
First thing she know when her consious was back was floating in the air and in the corner of her eyes she saw both Antonia and Natasha fighting. Not long after when she landed safely (barely) red specks of dust float in the air and Antonia staggered back. Antonia is back. Antonia is alive once again.
She open her eyes when she heard footstep coming her way. Natasha is crying. Why is she crying? She sit upright abruptly and take Natasha's hand to her's.
"I'm sorry" Natasha said through tears. She know Natasha isn't just saying sorry for letting her float in the air, or knocking her out by a kiss. She know. She remembered things she did and she didn't do.
She shook her head "There is no sin to be forgiven, Natasha. I did what I had to and you did what you had to, I'm sure you would do what you promised if you had a choice."
"I had a choice" she said "It was either you or me, he made me choose and I chose myself."
She nodded. She know that, Dreykov made sure to tell her that. It took her a while but she was over it now. She isn't a kid anymore. "And that was okay, I would too. I would choose you too."
She shook her head as she took a step back from her, she turned her back on her"It wasn't only you. Antonia was part of it too, Antonia was the collateral damage, and yes, I did save her but it was all too late, I did save you too but I can't take back what you had to endure." She turn around again, throwing her a glare "You should be mad at me, you should be so mad at me because I didn't save you. I might have saved a millions of people but I chose not to save you, I'm a hero of millions but you"
And obviously she was. She was so mad at her that every night after Dreykov did what he did she thinks about many very painful ways to kill Natasha. It didn't bring her any satisfaction, it even brings her more sorrow and pain, because who wouldn't feel that? The woman once you loved is the woman you now wants to kill everyday. But like she said she was no kid no more so she was over that thing, it still hit her like a ton of bricks though. "I was. Past tense."
"I'm a horrible person"
She chuckles, getting on her feet and steps forward to Natasha. She give her a peck before she said:"Hero is what you are"
⧗
Dreykov is a disgusting person. He is a disgusting man. He is a disgusting father. He may be not killed his prey directly but he is still a killer. Natasha was too and so do Bucky, but Natasha escaped because she don't want that life and Bucky was being controlled. However, Dreykov choose to continue his path, he could've stopped before he made his daughter a weapon but he didn't. He could've be the best dad. He could've had it all with Antonia but eh... I guess he enjoys being like a horrible father that he is.
Anyway, I want to discuss about the previous oneshot, do I really need to write a part two? I mean it is what it is. And really, I just feel terrible killing or do bad things to Colin. He is the man who make Scarlett happy so yeah.
Another thing, I was thinking about a dozen of oneshot based of song from my Music Playlist would that be okay? And before someone agree, I just want to tell you that I often misinterpret things so i can't assure you that the it would be right interpretation of the song.