I cry whole night,
On my old bed,
hiding under my rough blanket,
Hugging my soft pillows.
Pregnant with emotions,
I question myself,
My own feelings,
My own decisions,
Not knowing why.
With bloody tears running down my cheeks
I say to myself
'I am perfect,
I am okay,
I am not the worst'
But deep inside I know I am not.
Uncertain about myself,
I wish to disappear;I wish to run away,
But my heart feels so heavy,
Down there in my chest,
for me to move.
Trying to run away from my nightmares,
I seek refuge in my own fake reality;
A happy world I created for myself.
'What the hell am I?'
Biting my trembling lips,
I whisper into the darkness,
Waiting for an answer.
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