"Honestly, this isn't so bad," Virgil commented, shoveling some more popcorn into his mouth. "It's like a sleepover or something."
"Yeah, really, I'll be even more pissed when the agents come and ruin this," Janus agreed. "Of course, it'll probably kick things into swing."
"Stop talking, I can't hear," Kiki said, flicking him on the head.
After much debate, the ending plan was that Janus and Patton would stay in Virgil and Roman's room, while Logan and Remus took care of their own Circle agents. Virgil was a little bit hesitant when he realized that the plan would involve Patton interacting with Kiki, but after some test runs, Patton could now be around her without screaming, passing out, or repeatedly hitting her with a flyswatter. In fact, Virgil was pretty sure that they were able to bond a little over being parent friends.
Of course, Patton was still sitting as far away from her as possible. Go figure.
"I told you guys you'd love this show," Patton said, giving Janus and Virgil a grin. "Pretty cool, right?"
"Yeah, I'm loving it so far," Virgil admitted. "Can't wait to see what it's like when the plot kicks in."
Janus frowned, propping himself up on his elbows. "Where's RuPaul? You promised me RuPaul."
"Season three," Patton answered.
"Oh fuck you—"
"Language, and you have Brenda Song as the main character. Deal."
Janus let out a heavy sigh. "I am rather enjoying it so far, if I'm being entirely honest. Polly is a delight."
Roman nodded sagely, taking another handful of popcorn. "She is the one true god."
"I'm sorry, was I accidentally speaking in Japanese when I told you to stop talking?"
"Sorry, Kiki."
Virgil checked his phone. "Four minutes to midnight, guys."
"At this point, I'll kill them just for interrupting this show," Kiki said under her breath. "We're going back to watching after we take care of them."
Patton raised an eyebrow. "We're getting some sleep—"
"WE ARE GOING BACK TO WATCHING," she hissed, flashing her fangs at him.
That seemed to quiet him down.
"Why exactly is the giant spider woman an Amphibia stan now?" Janus asked.
Virgil shrugged. "Show's got spider monsters and it's dark. It's perfect for her."
The four of them sat in silence for the next few minutes, paying attention to only the TV and the clock. At midnight precisely, Patton hit pause.
Green flashes came as two people in all-black gear appeared in the room—two people whose eyes noticeably widened at the sight of all three of the targets in the same room, and a gigantic shadow spider demon to boot.
"Uh, do you mind?" Janus said, pointing at the television. "We're kind of in the middle of something right now."
The agents looked at them, then back at each other.
"Did we plan for this?" one of them whispered.
The other one looked up at Kiki, swallowing. "I... I don't think Ms. Macklemore warned us about... that."
Virgil got up and cracked his knuckles, grinning. "Y'know, it's getting a little crowded in here, wouldn't you say?"
"Oh, yes," Kiki said, raising her claws. "And I was so invested."
"I guess that settles it." Virgil snapped his fingers and pointed at the agents. "Give 'em hell. I'll be right behind you."
The agents instantly turned tail and ran out into the hall, Kiki squeezing herself after them with a delighted screech.
Virgil turned back to the others. "Okay, Roman, you stay with Patton. Janus, you're coming with me."
"Isn't that a bit unwise?" Janus questioned.
"We know what to do if we run into trouble. C'mon." He grabbed Janus by the wrist and pulled him out into the hallway, breaking into a run.
As the two wound through the halls, Virgil found himself both incredibly grateful and seriously irritated at the maze-like structure of the high school level dorms. He knew his way around, and he knew exactly which ones had real windows that you could throw someone out of if needed, but all the hallways meant you had no way of knowing where a Circle agent could pop up. Of course, hearing the screams of the ones Kiki was chasing helped to boost morale.
"Where exactly are we intending to go again?" Janus hissed.
"Your dorm, where else?"
Janus gave him a look. "You really are insane."
"Look, I know what I am doing, okay?" Virgil said, glaring at him over his shoulder. "And so do Roman and Patton. We're gonna be fine."
.................
"We're gonna die," Patton whispered.
He and Roman had meant to make a break for the elevators and get Emile to break out the big guns—literally, hopefully—but apparently, the Divinity Circle sent more agents than just two for each room. They'd run into four more in the hallway, and currently, they had the boys cornered on the overlook of the lobby.
Five stories down and nowhere else to go.
"Take it easy," Roman warned, holding up a hand. "My friend here is a killing machine."
One of the agents laughed. "Yeah, we know. We're prepared. Long sleeves this time, see?"
"Oh, I don't need my powers to crack your skull open—" Patton started.
Roman shushed him. "Pat, now's not the time to go into one of your scary moods."
"It's as good a time as any!"
Another one of the agents looked them up and down. "Y'know, when I heard about the last attempt, I gotta admit, I was a little scared. But you're not actually that scary are you? Guess the other guys are a bunch of wimps."
Roman slowly reached into his coat pocket. "Patton, hold onto me," he said out of the corner of his mouth.
Patton wrapped his arms around Roman. "How come?"
"For our dramatic escape."
"Wh—"
Roman pulled out an entire grappling hook out from his pocket and threw it over to the opposite balcony, then climbed up onto the ledge.
The Circle agent's mouth fell open. "What the—"
"Adios!" Roman jumped from the ledge, carrying a screaming Patton with him.
.................
Persephone shook Pam awake. "Up."
Pam gave her roommate a bleary look. "What the hell time is it?"
"12:06 in the morning. Circle agents are here."
"Oh shit!" Pam shot out of bed and frantically put her hair up. "Where's the action? Who do I need to call in?"
"Whoever lets you borrow their ghost stuff, I don't care, just come on. Pearl just texted and she and Quinn are already up and running."
"Well, gimme a minute, toots, I need to make myself look spooky," Pam snapped, rifling through her drawers. "Where's my black lipstick?"
Persephone let out a loud groan. "Pamelaaaaaaa, this is a crisis! You can't be worrying about how you look right now! And you'll still look plenty spooky!"
Pam turned back around, hands on her hips. "Dollface, I'm plenty aware of the danger, okay? I don't want my brother getting captured, and you don't want yours getting captured, but the only way we're gonna take these assholes down is if we give 'em a good scare—"
"Yeah, well, Virgil brought out the spider girl, and I'm pretty sure a floating girl with blue hair and a Southern Belle accent will give them a scare." Persephone linked her elbow with Pam's and dragged her into the hallway. "Your sister and her datefriend are in the commons area. And for heaven's sake, speed up the summoning process."
"All right, all right, we'll make it quick," Pam grumbled.
..................
"We had better be getting backup quick," Janus growled.
"I'm sorry that I didn't know there were gonna be more than six Circle agents here!" Virgil hissed, fending off another with a swish of a shadow sword. "You don't usually bring out this many during a stealth mission!"
"Well, when the evil organization is lead by a woman who wears a Chanel power suit, I don't think 'subtlety' is in their vocabulary," Janus said, punching another agent with a hand that had shifted into a giant bear claw. "Damn, I need to practice animal shifting more."
"We can keep that in mind—" Virgil gave up on swordfighting and just kicked the nearest one in the crotch— "after we get outta here alive and not captured!"
A sound similar to a suction cup getting pulled off of a wall sounded over their heads.
The agents looked up and froze. Virgil and Janus followed their gazes.
Hanging from the ceiling from four tentacles was none other than Remus, who cracked his neck with a chilling grin that filled Virgil with relief.
"Fancy seeing you fuckers here," Remus said, right before going into Maniac Mode.
Virgil managed to advert his eyes, since that was usually a thing that you wanted to do when Remus was this feral, but the sounds were more than enough to fill in the spaces. When he looked again, all of the agents were lying on the ground, either unconscious or groaning in pain—and Remus was off the ceiling and totally unharmed.
"Hey." Remus gave Janus a quick kiss on the forehead. "You okay?"
"How is it even possible for me to be more attracted to you at this point?" Janus murmured, kissing him on the cheek.
"Okay, you horny bitches, come on," Virgil said, flicking them both on the heads. "We need to find Roman and Patton, and for that, we need Logan."
..................
"Are you kidding me? We don't need Logan," Quinn scoffed as they ran through the halls.
"Like it or not, your brother's a genius with tech, and he's already fending off some Circle agents right now," Persephone reminded them. "Plus, I'm your team leader, so I say what goes."
"Still don't understand why you are the team leader in the first place."
"Quinnie, focus on the crisis," Pearl told her datefriend.
Pam and Persephone let out twin snorts.
Quinn stuck out their tongue. "You're just mad that you don't have a super cute girlfriend who gives you super cute nicknames."
"Yeah, I ain't answering that," Pam said. "Pearl, Davi and Quil agree to help?"
Pearl gave her a thumbs-up. "Just give 'em a signal, and you get Davi."
"Perfect."
The four of them slowed down once Quinn signaled that they were getting close to Logan's room. They poked their heads around the corner, spotting Logan giving two Circle agents a judgemental stare.
"Your traps aren't all that impressive, Fakeobi," a snotty-voiced agent said. "Betcha can't measure up to the rest of your family."
"Oh, very creative insult," Logan answered dryly. "Aside from, oh, at least five times a day from three of my so-called cousins, I've never heard 'Fakeobi' before. It really does hit different coming from an incompetent dolt like you."
Dolt? Quinn mouthed.
The other agent laughed. "Your grandpa would probably use your inventions for scrap metal if he could."
"My grandfather is a bigoted asshole who I've never met, do not intend to, and I'm completely fine with him not considering me family, because never in a million years would I consider him family," Logan countered. "And it took me less than two minutes to hack into his perfectly calibrated security system, so what does that say about him, hmm?" He smirked. "Could it be that he's slipping in his elderly age, the crusty old boomer?"
The agents surged towards him at that.
Pam looked to a space above Quinn's shoulder and did a little finger motion in midair. She and Pearl instantly stumbled forward, both taking sharp inhales.
"Oh, I love this part," Quinn whispered, grinning.
The two girls floated into the air, their eyes now glowing an eerie blue. A chill swept through the hall, causing the agents to look wildly around... and to freeze the minute they spotted them.
Pam tilted her head to the side. "Are you scared?" she asked, her voice layered over slightly with another, one that had the crackling sound of the deceased.
"Wh... what..." one of the agents stammered.
Pearl grinned—way wider than she was usually capable of. "That's so cute."
Glowing blue energy started to emit from both of the girls's hands.
"We're gonna have some FUN now!" they sang, diving towards the agents.
Unfortunately, they never got to have fun, because the agents instantly disappeared in a burst of green light. Pam and Pearl landed back on the ground, the glow fading away.
"Waste of a good mutual possession," Pearl sighed, flicking a stray lock of choppy pastel-blue hair out of her face. "Sorry, Quil."
Pam glowered at a spot in midair. "Davi's flipping me off. Tell him to stop."
"You're the one who can control—"
"Malevolent ghosts only! It's impolite to do it to peaceful ones!"
Logan loudly cleared his throat. "Pardon the interruption, but what the fuck are you four doing."
"Sorry, Microsoft Nerd," Quinn said. "We just didn't trust your skillz."
Their brother gave them a long stare. "You did not just say it with a Z. You did not."
Quinn cracked their knuckles, causing little sparks to come from their fingers. "I did."
"I swear that you had some kind of brain transplant as a baby," Logan grumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"Okay, you two can dish out sibling insults later," Persephone cut in. "Remus texted me and told me that Virgil and Janus are with him, so I'm assuming that Roman's with Patton. Where are—"
"Second floor," Logan answered, checking his phone.
She blinked. "Uh... how do you know that, exactly?"
"I have Roman microchipped." He didn't elaborate further.
Quinn raised their hand. "Do you have me micro—"
"No, Sophia has you microchipped. And don't bother finding out where it is." Logan pocketed his phone. "We should probably find them before the Circle agents do."
.....................
"Thank the gods we found you before the Circle agents did," Janus sighed, giving Patton a hug. "I was so worried that Roman would screw things up somehow."
"Well, the grappling hook was a surprise, but it meant that we got out of a tight situation," Patton said, hugging him back. "Really, though, it's a good thing you had your phone on you."
"Yeah, we're gonna have a little chat about that grappling hook," Virgil told Roman. "And in the meantime, you know where Logan is?"
"Eh, the nerd'll find us," Remus said with a wave of his hand. "In the meantime, let's go down to the lobby and get the agents to come to us."
Roman gave him an incredulous look. "Are you nuts? That's a horrible—"
"This way we'll take out everyone at once, okay? C'mon."
Virgil let out a heavy sigh. "Can't argue with that."
They got down to the lobby as quickly as they could, where Logan was already waiting—as well as Persephone, Pam, Pearl, and Quinn.
"What the fuck are you doing out of bed at this time of night?!" Janus yelled, pointing at his little sister.
"Saving you, you ungrateful git," she retorted. "And so's the rest of my crew."
"I—"
"Just deal, JJ," Quinn said. "What's the plan?"
Roman looked up nervously at the higher floors. "Well, Remus had the idea of luring the Circle agents to us, but I don't see any—"
Green flashes came from all around them.
Everyone went into a fighting stance as Circle agents pointed tranq guns at them, their expressions unreadable behind the masks they wore. A couple of them parted, revealing the only one whose face was uncovered.
She had long, dark hair pulled back in a low bun, with a few strands coming loose, and her skin and eyes were both light brown. Her face was stony and cold, but you could detect a flicker of determination in her eyes.
Logan slowly lowered his hands. "J—Julieta Renaud."
"So you've heard of me, then." The woman pulled out a knife from her belt. "Rest assured, I don't have any delusions about you being easy to defeat because you're young. But I am on the line at the moment, so if the Aberration boys would come quietly, I would greatly appreciate it."
"I think you'll find that the word 'quietly' isn't in my vocabulary," Janus told her.
Julieta gave him a thin smile. "Thought so."
Logan yanked Patton and Virgil back, eyes wide. "Stay behind us."
"Wh—" Virgil started.
"Just stay behind us."
Julieta brought the knife to her palm and slashed it.
A ribbon of blood flowed out of the wound, flowing into the air and twisting into her other hand. Her wound faded away as the blood started to crystalize, forming itself into a long, deep red whip.
Quinn let out a low whistle. "Damn, that is a bomb-ass power, lady."
"Don't compliment her, Quinn!" Logan hissed.
"What? I'm just saying, it's a bomb-ass—"
Julieta slashed the whip towards the person nearest to her... who was Patton, and when your weapon was made out of blood, that was probably not the best idea.
With zero expression on his face, Patton grabbed the whip and pulled, sending Julieta sprawling across the ground.
"Oh, wow!" he said, eyebrows flying up. "The blood's still bound to you! That's so cool!"
He squeezed the whip tightly, causing Julieta to grab her arm with a cry of pain. Patton instantly dropped it with a hasty apology.
"NO SYMPATHY FOR THE CULT, PAT!" Remus shouted, slamming a tentacle into the face of another agent. "FINISH THE BITCH!"
"I don't kill!" Patton yelled back, then kneeled in front of Julieta. "Really, ma'am, I'm sorry about that, I just wanted to test it out—that's a really cool power, though, have you ever thought of using it for something other than the Divinity—"
Julieta let out a growl and lunged.
Janus's left arm shot out and grabbed the back of Patton's collar, yanking him back to the opposite side of the room. Persephone kicked the nearest agent in the face, then rushed over to her brother.
"Hey." She elbowed him. "Operation K Squared?"
"Oh, I thought you'd never ask," Janus said with a grin.
The two siblings started to rapidly shift back and forth—Janus turning into Persephone, Persephone turning into Janus, then back again—until there was no telling who was who. When they seemingly settled on their final forms, they each rushed into different lines of agents, taking out as many as they could with extra-large fists.
"It's the girl!" Julieta screamed, staggering to her feet. "I mean—the boy! I mean—oh, god, now I've lost track—"
Virgil looked over at Roman. "Did you know they could do that?"
Roman shrugged. "Eh, me and Remus switched places all the time when we were younger, so I figured if you and your sibling could shapeshift, you'd do it until you were in your eighties."
Quinn gasped and smacked their fist against their palm. "Guys! Throw the cultists into the fountain! I have an idea!"
Persephone—or maybe it was Janus—gave them a thumbs-up and began throwing the various agents into the gigantic fountain. Remus quickly followed suit, looking a little bit confused.
Patton ran back over and shook Julieta's hand with a smile, causing her to pass out. Virgil whistled sharply, getting Kiki to finally show up again—which meant that the agents didn't stand a chance.
The resulting chaos was something that was almost impossible to describe or even remember, but when the dust settled, any agent that wasn't comatose or webbed up was lying in the fountain, groaning.
Quinn leaped up onto the side of the fountain, beaming. "Hi!"
They summoned a little burst of electricity in their hand and dunked it into the water.
Needless to say, the end result was very effective and very smoky. Logan gave his sibling an openmouthed expression of awe as Quinn casually brushed off their hands.
"Electricity plus water equals fried cultists," they explained. "See? I do pay attention to your physics lectures, Lo."
"Yo, what the fuck?"
Virgil looked up to see various students in their pyjamas staring down at the scene in the lobby, one or two snapping pictures.
"That's so cool!"
"Damn, remind me never to zone out during Combat Training ever again."
"Where'd the spider lady come from?"
"Anybody know which of the Kapoors is the twink?"
Persephone and Janus turned back into themselves, just in time for Janus to take a few bows. "Thank you, everyone!" he proclaimed, blowing kisses to the crowd. "You've been a great audience! I love you all!"
"Okay, Jan, that's enough," Virgil said in an undertone.
A/N: This is probably the longest chapter I've ever written for this story, but as you can see, I had SO. MUCH. FUN. And it gave me the much-needed practice for writing action, since I'm gonna need the practice.
Enjoy this chaotic awesomeness.