"I haven't seen you in forever," Carry said, slipping into Ryleigh's bedroom and closing the door behind her. Ryleigh was sitting in the window-sill, one leg outside of the room, one leg inside. She glanced up.
"What do you mean? You've seen me at dinner two hours ago."
"Yes, but that doesn't count. You haven't been taking any classes with me lately. We don't hang out anymore."
Ryleigh swung her leg inside. "You're right. I'm sorry." She leant against the windowsill, regarding her. "I guess I figured you wouldn't miss me much. I'm not great company lately, judging by the amount of people currently avoiding me. You're better off with your friends."
"My friends are boring. You're not."
Ryleigh pursed her lips, her hand flitting around in a That's fair kind of way.
"What do you have there?" Carry progressed, nodding at the paper in Ryleigh's hand.
"O, this? Jade wrote me a letter. Would you look at how thick this paper is?" She waved the paper through the air. It hardly bent.
"How is she doing?" Carry asked. She sat down cross-legged on the bed. "It must be so romantic to be the prince's mate."
"Not quite. She's already had to knock out a guard, the council hates her, and Aaron isn't speaking to her. I guess I understand why she would tell me all this in a letter. Makes it harder for me to say 'I told you so'. But I did tell her."
"So she doesn't like it there?" Carry's brows twitched above widening eyes. "Is she going to reject him?"
"O, I don't know. I hope so, but I doubt it."
"You speak so lightly about rejection." Carry fell silent a moment, searching Ryleigh's face. "Are you going to reject Austin?"
Ryleigh's movements faltered for one brief second. Then she folded the letter, tapping it against her knee. "Why would you think that?"
"It doesn't take a genius to see things haven't exactly been going great between the two of you lately. You're avoiding him, aren't you?"
"He's avoiding me, actually. Or maybe we're avoiding each other. It's been weird. That's my fault. I get stuck in my head, and he doesn't understand."
"Have you tried to explain it?"
"Yes, but he's very different. We don't think about things the same way. There are a few irreconcilable differences between us, and they complicate things."
"Like you wanting to kill the king." It wasn't a question.
"Yes." She exhaled slowly. "I know you don't understand either –"
"I do. I would kill Alpha Braxton if I could. He killed my parents and many good people. If I could get my hands on him, I would rip him apart."
Ryleigh regarded her. Carry was usually an endless source of dramatic exclamations and enthusiastic ramblings, but this was neither. Her voice was calm and even, her eyes void of any exaggeration. She was in earnest.
"Not many people manage to surprise me," Ryleigh said. "You surprise me."
"Sometimes, when I really miss my parents, or when I see how much Ellis is hurting – he misses Liv, you know. Misses her terribly. Well, sometimes when I'm reminded of what Golden Dawn did to us, I really want to run away, sneak into their territory and kill Braxton. But I don't."
"I'm glad. You'd never make it."
"Neither will you." Again, she sounded so rational that Ryleigh could only blink. Who was this adult?
"It's different for me."
"No, it's really not." Carry tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear, reminding Ryleigh that, yes, it was in fact still a child sitting across from her. Yet children often spoke more truth than any adult. "The only reason I'm not out for revenge, is because I know I would die in the process. Even if, by some move of fate, I would manage to kill him, I would never make it out alive. I know that. I might be willing to die for revenge. If I could hurt them the way they've hurt me, I would. But I know what would happen next. It would kill Ellis too. It would break his heart. Austin, too. Even Conall, I think. He's a jerk but he loves me. I would hurt so many people by getting revenge. And, you know, I'd be starting a new war in which so many more people would die. It's just not worth it. It's not worth it, Ryleigh."
Ryleigh slipped down from the windowsill. "Did Austin ask you to talk to me?"
"No. He doesn't know how close I've come to throwing my life out the window. None of them do. It's like you say – they wouldn't understand. They're too rational."
"You sound pretty rational as well."
"Yes, but not like them. It's the same for you, Ryleigh. If you were to try to get revenge, you would hurt so many people. Austin's heart would break. And what would happen to Jade? If you kill her mate's father, what will happen to her?"
Ryleigh dragged the letter through the air. "She's miserable anyway. She can just reject the prince and then it won't matter what they think of her."
"Then what? You're not going to survive if you kill him, Ryleigh. That's a given. You're not going to get away with it. Where is Jade going to go? Back home? That will kill her. She hates it there. I mean, I don't know her all that well, and I don't know your father, but I've heard stories and I've seen it in her eyes. She doesn't want to go back there."
"She'll get over it. And she can always take a ship to Rilia if she doesn't want to go back."
"She won't be happy, though. She won't be happy in a world in which you're not alive."
"If you're trying to teach me that vengeance comes with a price, I already know. I am willing to pay that price."
"Then you're more selfish than I thought you were."
Ryleigh chuckled at that. She moved to the desk and put the letter down.
"That man took hundreds of my kin. He murdered my mother. My grandfather. My cousins, my friends, the children. He burned down my pack. Every building, every house. He took everything. I am my father's heir, Carry. It's up to me to protect my pack, to avenge my kin. They are my people. He killed my people, and I am supposed to shake his hand? I'm supposed to pretend nothing ever happened?"
"No one says you have to like him."
"But I will need to tolerate his existence, and I can't. I just can't. Every breath he takes is an insult to my kin."
"So what? You kill him and start another war. Aaron will be obligated to hunt your family. Your pack will die. You're not doing them any favours."
"They want a war. We can hold our own."
"No, you can't. Not against an army that size. You don't stand a chance." Carry stretched her legs out again, shuffling to the edge of the bed. "There are two scenarios here, Ryleigh. Only two."
Ryleigh moved back to the window, leaning against the wall beside it. She crossed her arms, fending off a smile. The girl certainly was giving it her best. "I suppose you will very colourfully depict both scenarios now?"
"If you'll let me."
Ryleigh made a gesture with her hand, and Carry took it as encouragement.
"Scenario one. You leave Austin – either with or without rejecting him first – and you'll try to kill Alder. Perhaps you'll succeed, perhaps you won't. Either way, you'll be put to trial and killed. That's a given. With a bit of bad luck, Jade will be counted as an accessory, and she will be killed as well. Then they'll go after your family. Maybe they'll get away, maybe they won't. In any case, they will never be able to live above ground again. Nothing good is going to come from it."
"A bleak prospect, for sure. What is the other scenario?"
"You stay here. You work things out with Austin. He's your mate and I know he loves you. I don't know if you love him – you're harder to read and I haven't known you as long – but I can tell you care about him. I mean, you fought a feral wolf for him and nearly got yourself killed. That says enough. So say you stay here. Perhaps in time, you'll mate Austin. Jade will stay in the castle and mate Aaron. She'll be happy. You will always harbour anger towards the king, and that's alright. You never have to see him. You just need to pretend you accept him. We all know you're a great liar, so I have no doubt you can do that. You'll be happy, Ry."
Ryleigh shook her head. "Your first scenario might be accurate, but the second one definitely isn't. You forget I'm my father's heir. I am the Shadow Walker's next alpha. I can't join Midnight Moon. I have a duty to my people. And I doubt Austin is going to come with me."
"All due respect, you're hardly a pack. There's what – thirty of you? They could come here. They could join us. I'm sure Ellis would let them. Well, maybe not your father, but he's evil anyway. You could turn him in."
Ryleigh laughed. "O, sure. I'll just turn in my father to my worst enemy. He's not evil, Carry. He's many things, but not evil. If he were, he wouldn't have allowed me to stay here. And my people are never going to join Midnight Moon. They would never fit in. I'm not going to disband my pack. We might be small, but we will grow. That's my home. I might be here now, but that's never going to change. I'm a Shadow Walker. I'm always going to be a Shadow Walker."
"Even if that means you'll lose Austin?"
"Yes. Don't look at me like that. Austin could come with me, you know. If he cared enough. Why am I the one who needs to make all the sacrifices? I need to give up my vendetta, I need to abandon my family, I need to give up my title to join his pack. What does he need to give up? Nothing. I'm an alpha, and I will never bow to anyone else. It's not in my nature."
Carry's brow furrowed. "But then what? If you're not going to join Midnight Moon, and he's not going to join the Shadow Walkers... How can you ever be together?"
Ryleigh turned back to the window, gazing out. "That's a very good question."
_______
A/N: A very good question indeed. Any predictions as to the answer?
Thank you for reading!