As he loosened his arms around her, her body just collapsed backward. Dean's breath stuck in the mid of his airway as he watched the red blood oozing out of a deep cut at her throat. His eyes widened as they trailed down to her lifeless hand. His dagger slipped to the ground, producing a loud clinging sound, at the same time that her clutch became weaker around its handle.
"No..." Dean whispered underneath his breath. "This is not it..." He told himself in a low voice. His warm tears dripped drop by drop as he turned his watery gaze to look at Giselle's open eyes. "Giselle... What are you doing?" His trembling tone of voice faded out in disbelief. His trembling hands positioned her body closer against his hard chest. Using his right thumb, he tucks a strain of hair behind her ear. "Hey... Don't ignore me... I know you can... still hear me... I still... I still haven't... got you the ring yet... Giselle... Baby... Please talk to me... We haven't even discussed how... how we want our wedding... to be like..."
Dean choked and then burst crying out loud breathlessly. He wrapped his arms around her tighter before making a slight rocking motion, hoping to comfort her.
"I know... I know you're just mad at me now... You probably hate it so much that... I killed all of those people... It's okay if you don't want to talk to me now... But, please listen... listen to my explanation..." He sobbed. "...I know how much you hate seeing my hands covered with blood... I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry, Giselle... But... I just couldn't stand watching them hurt you... and everyone around me... I can't help... I can't stop myself... I tried my best... I did everything I could to avoid this! I hate it so much... Look at me... please..." Dean begged underneath his breath as he placed his chin over her head gently. "Yell at me... Slap me or something! Do whatever you want to me and stop staying still! I like you better if you can just at least respond to me... You're making me nervous... please... I beg you... You can't do this... You can't be doing this to me..."
Tears flooded his eyes then traveled down his chin and then dropped onto Giselle's cheek. Dean turned his head slightly to make a peck on her cold forehead before he continued to mumble in his raspy voice soullessly. "I rushed here for you... I am here now... I am here holding you... Why are you..." Dean paused a bit before lifting his drowsy head to look at the doorway.
Like a psycho, Dean screamed at the top of his lung for his brother until his voice broke. "Aaron! Aaron! Call the fucking 911 for me! Aaron! Can't you fucking hear me? Aaron! Where the fuck are all of you at? Don't make me fucking go out there!"
"What the fuck do you want?" Aaron walked in casually to the door. His footstep soon came to a halt when his eyes lay on Giselle. He glanced at the bloody knife and then back to Dean in unbelievable. "You did not..."
"I said call the fucking 911, you asshole! Are you fucking deaf? She needs to get to the fucking hospital in time! Do you want me to fucking kill you too?"
Aaron paused slightly before shrugging his shoulders. "Look at her first! There is no fucking way she's going to survive! She's gone!"
Dean's lips quivered making him unable to speak momentarily. He roughly wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his right hand before forcing himself to get up. "If you don't want to fucking help me then get the fuck out of my way." His grip was firm around Giselle's arm as he dragged her upward to carry her in a bridal style. Even with tears blurred his vision, Dean still managed to make his way past his older brother and the door.
Aaron's brows tied together before he shoved his hand up through his hair in frustration. "Dean!" He shouted before spinning around on his heels to look at his brother's broad shoulder.
Dean didn't bother to stop. He ignored the frustration in Aaron's tone as he continued to walk down through another door.
"Are you playing dumb or something? She's fucking dead! There's no point in taking a fucking corpse to a fucking hospital!" Aaron hissed furiously as he walked at a fast pace from behind.
"You, shut the fuck up!" Dean clenched his teeth and then tightened his grip around the lifeless body. He held his breath, trying to calm himself down. His tears were still escaping his eyes. His lips were shaking as they tried to suppress the weeping sound. His heart was torn as he glanced down at Giselle's eyes which were still open, although they seemed to never bother to blink again.
I will save you... There's nothing that can stop me... I won't leave you alone. You don't have to be scared.
Dean rushed down the stair and then directed his way straight to the car. He struggled to open the car's door with one hand, before using his feet to kick it open. He hurried to bend down and placed Giselle's body gently onto the backseat. Noticing the continuous flow of blood from her neck, he seized and ripped his shirt in a swift motion. After folding a piece of fabric neatly into a rectangular shape, he reached over to apply it to her neck with a bit of pressure, in the hope of reducing the blood flow.
"You'll be fine. Trust me. Just rest, for now, okay?" He whispered underneath his breath exhaustedly. Dean bit his lower lip briefly before turning to wipe his runny nose against his dirty sleeve. His heartbeat kept on drumming inside his head as he used his trembling hand to brush over her eyes gently, making them close. As he does so, his heart skipped a beat. The gentle contact of her lashes against his palm made his heartache worsen than any other time. They felt alive. But, why weren't they be responding at all?
Withdrawing his hand from her defined face, Dean felt his heart sink to the bottom of the ocean floor. Unlike always, her eyes were no longer locking on his. Her small hands were no longer seizing onto his. The expectation that Dean had just a second ago dissolved immediately as reality strike him. As if his world began to fall apart for one last time, Dean broke down and shamelessly started to cry.
Through his blurry vision, he couldn't help but stare at her stilled face. It was breathtaking... Peaceful. Calm. And, as beautiful as the first time that he laid his eyes on her. A face that he never even once regretted burying deep inside his heart and mind. Dean gulped at the sight of her beauty sleep. Out of all the malicious memories, hers was the only ecstasy that left him daydreaming at night. Even until this moment, her lifeless present took his breath away. Dean could barely breathe properly as he watched her in agony.
Dean gasped for air as he backed out and reached for the car's door for immediate support. His strong hands that killed many people just now suddenly became weak. His knees lost their strength as it falls forward. His glute dropped onto the hard cement ground. His back collapsed against the car's wheel as if there were no energy left within his soul and body.
The only sound that echoed under the night sky at that moment was the whimpering sound of a broken man. There seemed to be nothing left. His empty gaze focused on the dirty ground. Unlike usual times where they used to be intense and sharp, tonight his pupils seemed to be lost in finding their directions. Not knowing what to do, where to go, who to turn to... Dean sat speechlessly. Every inch of his muscle became relaxed as if he no longer care about his surrounding. The lack of motivation to get up forced upon his body as his only light slowly dimmed away from his world.
This is enough...
Dean thought to himself blankly as his tears became dry to the point that they burned the skin around his swollen red eyes.
Just how much more do I have to go through? Why can't I just... have a simple life like everyone else? Haven't I lost enough? Why is it that I kept getting people I need taken away from me? Just what the fuck do I have to do to just breathe in this fucking world?
No matter what I chose to do, it just seemed like nothing improved.
I'm tired...
I'm tired of all the damn dramatic craps that kept joking on me. I'm really tired.
The sound of someone's footstep grew closer. Dean didn't bother to react.
Suddenly, Aaron's voice broke the tense atmosphere. "It's time for us to leave." His voice sounded as cold as ever. His feet soon came to a stop in front of his younger brother. "Aren't you getting her to the hospital? Why are you still sitting here?"
Dean continued to stare blankly, unbothered.
Aaron sighed out loud before withdrawing a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He quickly placed one cigarette in between his lips, meanwhile, his other hand fished his pocket for the lighter. The night was ghostly silence to the point that even the sound of Aaron flicked the lighter echo briefly. Aaron sucked onto the cigarette and then blew out a cloud of white smoke in distress.
"Our men blew up Kevinskey's house, and all of the organizations that he was a part of... It came to us that... His family had left him. If I am not wrong, his wife took the kids and fleed the country without him... I had our men look up some old files regarding that contract. Apparently, our father used him for our clan's benefit. It seemed like Kevinskey wanted to keep his family undercover and protected after realizing what he got himself into. I guess love is worse than those black magics in the tale people told. I'm never going to let myself be controlled by some useless shits." Aaron spoke casually, hoping to earn at least a verbal response from his younger brother.
Noticing the emptiness in his brother's eyes, Aaron took it as that Dean did not care about whatsoever that happened to Kevinskey. He tossed his burning cigarette to the ground. His gaze turned to stare down at the dim-lit cigarette's tip before he continued speaking with a bit of hesitation. "While digging up through the old files... one of our men encountered an untitled document." Aaron gulped as he moved his right foot to step on the cigarette. "It was locked, and so they forwarded it to me... just a bit earlier... I did a thorough check... and that document appeared to be relating to your mother... I don't know what our father has been telling you... but the document holds a voice record of your mother... I believed it was recorded on the same day when she got into that accident... I don't know the reasons why our father is keeping it until today either."
As he heard his mother being mentioned, Dean closed his right hand into a fist at the same time that he clenched his teeth.
Aaron didn't notice as he withdrew his phone from his pants pocket. "If you wanna listen to it yourself..." Aaron murmured and then took a few more steps closer to Dean. When he was about several inches away, he handed his phone to Dean. "I will have our men hurry up with setting the funeral ceremony for her."
When Dean didn't seem to have enough strength to reach for the phone, Aaron leaned down to place his phone right next to his brother's hand. "Whenever you're leaving, our men will burn this place down." After that, Aaron took his leave.
Dean sat motionlessly for the next couple of minutes. His mind was perplexed with all kinds of mixed emotions. Should he still try to figure out the truth? Or, should he just let everything go?
Dean wiped his runny nose roughly again with his sleeve. He stared still at the same spot without a blink. His entire world had already collapsed. He felt no different than just a piece of shell. Nothing was left. Nothing. What more does he have left? What else had he not lost yet?
There seemed to be no point in trying any harder. How much would it take to just make everything come lively again? Dean knew that it would still be useless even if that such thing does exist. Every bit and piece of hope was stripped away from him cruelly the second that he lost Giselle. In the end, everything would just become pointless. Whether that be the hatred against his mother or his beautiful romance for a beautiful-hearted girl; in the conclusion, everything would just circulate back to the lifeless beginning and the lifeless ending.
Dean's hand moved a little to seize the phone next to him. His lips parted just enough to let out a low sobbing sound. The flame inside his chest sparked once again through his airway, burning the back of his nostril while causing his eyes to heat up.
"Giselle... You can hear me, right?" He mumbled. "You always told me... to move on... Being able to forgive... was what you had always tried to teach me... I know... I know it is too late for me to even admit this... I wished I could've told you earlier... I wished..." His voice shook while his vision became blurred with boiling tears. He paused for a few seconds to take a deep breath and gulped slightly. "The one thing that I had always been wanting to tell you... truthfully... and straight from my heart... is that... I love you... I love you endlessly... Words can't describe it enough... I didn't even know when it started... My intention from the beginning was you... It's my fault... I used your father as an excuse to refuse my true feeling... If only... If only I listened to you... If only a bastard like me could at least trust you a bit more... maybe you wouldn't end up in this situation..." Dean cried loudly again. This time he dropped his face into his large palms. "I guess... I guess you can't even hear me now... What should I do?... You're gone... You left me... Giselle... You told me that you wouldn't go... but why... why now... How am I gonna live without you?" Dean's shoulders shook violently when the only thing that was responding to his agony was the sound of the chilly wind.
After a few minutes, Dean threw Aaron's phone away aggressively. He was no longer interested in finding out the truth. He was tired. He was exhausted from chasing the nonexistent love from his nonexistent mother. Even when the truth was to reveal right now, nothing would be any different. In the last, his mother had never actually been there for him. Dean had enough. He was sick of being mad over someone who had abandoned him. He was sick of hearing everyone calling him names just because of his mother's actions. All that was left for him to care about in the current moment was Giselle. Every breath he breathe, Giselle's name repeatedly reflected. Dean couldn't move on. It was hard. It was more suffering than anything he had ever encountered.
All of the sudden, a thick gasoline odor grasped his attention. Dean turned his head slightly in the direction of the old building. Recalling what his brother told him, Dean hurried up to stand. He placed one hand onto the car's door before glancing at Giselle. "Let's go somewhere... where it'll just be you and me." He whispered underneath his breath and then closed the car's door weakly.
Without wasting any longer time, he hopped into the driver's seat. He stole another glance at Giselle through the rearview mirror in hesitant. Remembering that she would never be going to wake up again, Dean tightened his strong grip around the steering wheel.
After what seemed like a forever drive in silence, Dean finally arrived at the Cobra casino. He couldn't quite figure out a place where he could even call home. Seeing his men making their way toward his car, Dean quickly stepped out. Ignoring his men's greets, he turned to open the backseat door. He gently pulled Giselle's body up and then brought her close to his chest. He patted her hair lightly before leaning in to give her a peck of a kiss on her forehead. "You wanted to see your father, right?... I am taking you to see him now... Just stay with me... for a little bit longer... please..." He whispered lowly so that none of his men could overhear him.
In one quick breath, Dean lifted her with both of his arms and carried her out in a bridal style. His men's eyes widened in shock. Nonetheless, nobody dared to raise a question. They made way for their boss, while some walked at a fast pace to lead the way to the elevator.
As they waited for the elevator in deadly silence, Dean asked in a cracking raspy voice. "Where is Richard Chu now?"
"He's currently being locked up in a guest room, sir." One man answered seriously. "Would you like me to call for a doctor?"
Dean gritted his teeth a bit and then turned his eyes to stare at Giselle's face. "Not now..." He replied in a sad sounded voice. He knew that if he called for the physicians, they wouldn't allow him to see Giselle anymore. The only thing that his heart demanded from him at the moment was the time for him to be able to take care of Giselle.
"But, you're bleeding, boss." The man resisted in concern regardless of the fear that built up in his gut. He noticed the pale lips of Giselle, but didn't dare to ask anything about her.
The elevator soon made a loud ding sound, cutting off the uncomfortable conversation. Dean didn't hesitate to step in. As he turned around, he commanded coldly to his men, "Nobody is allowed to bother me until I say so." He swallowed hard a bit and then continued speaking. "Make sure Richard Chu... is well fed and taken care of. Call a doctor for him."
His men nodded their heads obediently. "Yes, sir." Nobody dared to question him any further as one of them stepped up to press the floor number for Dean. The man hurried to step back out of the elevator, allowing the door to slide close completely.
Dean's eyes held no life within him. An innocent image of his young self flashed across his eyes, reminding him of the time that he was left foreign and devastated. No matter how long it had been, Dean seemed to be unforgettable of that uncomfortable feeling. Nobody over the past years seemed to be able to change that expressionless and emotionless of his. Every remark that inflicted on his heart, body, and mind was no different than that of the stinging wounds, which in the end always turned into the unwanted hideous scars. It may look fine and completely healed to others, but the untold ugly stories, which were buried deep behind that thick barrier, were left unknown to everyone. All in all, nobody seemed to be concerned enough to even bother to ask.
Dean tightened his grip around Giselle's small frame before he said, "We're going to get married tonight. I don't care what will happen. You are mine... and I will keep it that way forever, regardless of the consequences. After tonight, I promise... I will take you to see your father... Okay?" Dean asked while shifting his eyes to look at her face. "No response... I will take that as a yes." He forced a fake smile on his lips while his warm tears dripped onto her nose.
The elevator's sound echoed the hallway before Dean made his way out. He directed himself toward his penthouse without a second thought. He then kicked the door open with one foot. "You may not like this place." He said. "But, it's the only place where I can provide you with my full protection. With all the guides around, nobody would dare to do anything to you again. This way... you can at least be a bit at ease." He pressed his dried lips together as he placed her body gently onto the cold bed.
Soon he settled down next to her. He shifted her head on the soft pillow a bit before fixing her hair. He tucked a hair strain behind her ear and then continued to spread the rest of her hair onto one side neatly, hoping to prevent it from getting tensely pulled by the weight of her head.
"Give me one second, okay?" He whispered. "I will be right back."
Dean hopped off the bed and went to search for the first aid box. The second that he spotted it in the drawer, he took it out and rushed back to the bed.
"It's going to sting a bit." He warned her although knowing that she would no longer be able to feel the pain.
Dean poured the wound cleanser onto a cotton pad quickly with his trembling hands. As he does so, he inhaled sharply to halt his saliva from running down his nostril. Glancing over at Giselle's neck, Dean leaned closer to place the cotton pad on the cut lightly. "I'm not a nurse like you... My healing skill may not be as good... But, I will try my best... since you are my first patient..." A sad smile formed on his lips again while his tears shed harder uncontrollably. He gulped and then continued to lightly tap and rub the soft pad over the cut.
"Can I tell you something?" He asked lowly.
No response.
"I know it sounds crazy... but I think this is the first time... that the sight of the blood makes me nervous..." He forced a chuckle briefly before taking more cotton pads to wipe the blood that was all over her neck and arm. "Ugh... I don't know why... but I just can't stop these stupid tears." He breathed in sharply one more time while continuing to carefully apply the medication and bandage over her cut. "No stitch... at least for tonight... I want you to look as beautiful as usual..."
Dean bit his lower lip to hold the urge of whimpering. He blinked a few times to try to stop his tears even though it was useless. He turned to place the first aid box onto the nearby nightstand. As he shifted his focus back onto Giselle, he said, "Do you know... that you look very stunning right now?" Involuntarily, his hand reached to touch her cold cheek. "Up until this moment, I still haven't gotten you a ring... What a shame of me..."
Dean lowered himself next to her before positioning her head onto his hard chest. He then moved her hand to make it wrap around his waist, even though knowing that everything he was doing would be pointless.
Slowly, he tucked and pulled the blanket to cover her body and his. After he was done, he turned to stare at the ceiling above him in silence. His left hand began to rub lightly over her back, meanwhile, his right hand held onto her other palm. All he could hear at that moment was the sound of him sobbing instead of what he had always expected, the sound of her breath. "How nice it would've been... if only we get to do this every night?" He murmured exhaustedly. "How am I going to breathe tomorrow knowing that you're no longer... with me? ...I hate this... I hate this feeling... I hate how hurtful this feels... There are so many questions in my head... I just don't understand... I don't understand why you had to take your life... over those people... Do you not want to see your father? ...If I can survive up until now, why couldn't you? ...Why did you... have to leave me too..."
Boiling tears escaped the corner of his eyes and dripped onto the pillow beneath him.
"I'm... I'm scared... I just can't seem to... see myself walk around... knowing that you're gone." His lips quivered as he spoke. "Should I just leave with you? ...There seems to be no point... for me to keep on living..." Suddenly he shut his eyes tightly, squeezing out the devastating tears that kept on burning his eyes. "Giselle... I really miss you..." He tightened his embrace around her body as he speaks. "I miss you so much..." He whimpered out loud as he leaned to kiss her forehead. "I miss you, can't you hear me?... You can't just leave me like this..." His voice faded out as his body suddenly trembled the harder he cried. Throughout that entire night, no matter how many times he begged her, called her name, and hugged her, he earned no response.
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