prompt: colby has been ghosting you for a while, just when things were starting to get good between you two. after a week of ignoring you, he's finally ready to talk.
POV: First person, Y/N, she/her pronouns
trigger warning: angst, cursing, heartache, crying, honestly this one is really sad so sorry about that, happy ending tho
word count: 2331
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I groaned to myself, staring at my phone.
Colby was still ignoring me, something I had grown accustomed to this week. He had ghosted my calls and my texts. He turned his read notifications off too, so I had no clue whether or not he had even seen my messages at all.
Everything had been going great between us. We had met a couple years back and hit it off as friends right away. I always thought he was attractive, and our friendship was always really flirty; so much so that fans thought we were together. And then finally, something clicked a couple months back. I wasn't sure if it was the accidental drunken kiss we shared, or just a built up of feelings, but we finally decided that maybe we should test out an actual relationship.
We promised each other we would take it slow, both of us still heartbroken from our previous relationships and our general trust issues. But these past two months, we went into overdrive, actually taking the time to feel each other out as boyfriend and girlfriend.
And for the first time, I felt happy. Genuinely happy.
A week ago, we had even gone on a cute little date, something we had started doing regularly. We were in the middle of our conversation; I remember I laughed hard at something he said. It was loud enough that some of the patrons in the restaurant stared at us. And when he tried to shush me jokingly, a silence had fallen over us.
His face dropped suddenly, he became super serious and quiet, and then he asked if we could go home.
He told me the next day that he thought he got food poisoning and it just hit him in the restaurant. I didn't think anything of it and was fine with going home early.
But now, I wonder if he was lying.
I looked back down at my phone, reading over my messages from the past week to him.
Was I taking this too far? He could have just been busy. I don't wanna come across as clingy.
"Ugh, fuck that." I muttered out loud to myself, rolling out of my bed to get a drink.
I didn't care if I came across as clingy. I had a right to know why he was ignoring me. If it was work related, he would have told me. He had done that in the past before.
This was different, I just knew it.
Tomorrow, I planned to go over and see him. I would have done it tonight, but I knew he wasn't home. He was out with some friends at Saddle Ranch. Like a fan, I had to watch his stories on Insta, since that was the only way I knew where he was.
"Don't expect too much from him." Sam said.
I shook my head at that memory. When we got together, everyone was happy for us. But I could feel a certain tension in the room, a certain caveat that wasn't being mentioned. Later that night, Sam and I were by ourselves, and he asked me if Colby and I had really made our relationship official. I told him we hadn't gone all the way, but that we were taking it one step at a time.
"I'm happy for you guys, really. I just wonder..." His voice trailed off.
I cocked my head. "Wonder what?"
"Look, I love you both, but I don't know if Colby is really ready for a relationship. There's a lot of things he still needs to work through." He stated.
"We're not that serious." I laughed.
"Yeah, yet. If you plan to be, I just don't want you to get your heart broken because he wasn't ready." Sam admitted.
I patted his shoulder lightly, smiling. "Relax, Samuel. Everything will be fine."
"Alright. Just... don't expect too much from him, okay?" He mentioned, his eyes narrowing on mine.
That had been two months ago and... I think I should have heeded his warning.
A loud knock at my front door brought me out of my thoughts, scaring me. I grabbed a knife from my kitchen, striding over to the door. I glance through the peephole to see who was there.
Colby's face stared back.
"Y/N, it's me. Can you open the door?" He called.
I scowled at him through the peephole. "Sorry she's not home right now. Maybe you should try responding to her texts."
"Look I'm sorry, but that's why I came over. I wanted to talk in person." He replied.
"Damn, that's a shame. Too bad she's not home!" I exclaimed angrily.
"C'mon now, don't be childish." He remarked.
I swung the door open, holding back from yelling into my hallway. "Childish?!"
He smirked at me. "I knew that would get you to open the door."
"You're not funny." I deadpanned, glaring at him.
"Can you please let me in? I seriously want to talk." Colby responded, his eyes landing on mine.
"No, Colby. It's one o'clock in the morning, I don't feel like talking, and you're drunk." I jeered, resting my hands on my hips.
He scrunched up his face dramatically. "No, I'm not. I only had like two drinks."
"Oh my mistake. I figured a person that randomly comes over to talk at the ass-crack of night is usually drunk," I quipped. "Don't you have better things to do, like be at Saddle Ranch?"
He stepped back, raising an eyebrow. "How'd you know I was at Saddle Ranch?"
I could feel my cheeks heat up. "Because... I watched your stories."
"Nice to know you pay attention to me," he uttered under his breath. "Please let me in."
"No. Fuck off, Colby." I hissed.
He rolled his eyes at my comment. "If you don't let me in, I'm just gonna make noise out here in the hallway until you do."
"Bet." I huffed.
"What was your favorite movie again... '10 Things I Hate About You'?" He questioned, stepping back further into the hallway.
I blinked. "Yeah, so what?"
He looked up at me, giving me a devilish smile. "...You're just too good to be true."
My face dropped at his voice. "Colby."
"Can't take my eyes off of you." He sang, pointing at me.
"Are you really-" I started.
He cut me off, running his hands down his body. "You'd be like heaven to touch."
I hushed. "Seriously stop-"
"I wanna hold you so much." He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around himself.
I grunted, smacking my hand towards him. "Colby, it's one in the morn-"
"At long last, love has arrived." He opened his arms wide.
"Shut the fuck up!" I whisper-shouted.
"And I thank God I'm alive." Colby praised up towards the ceiling.
I retorted. "You're fucking embarrass-"
He spun in a circle slowly. "You're just too good to be true."
"I knew giving you the code to my apartment was a bad idea." I grumbled.
"Can't take my eyes off of you." He winked, pointing at me again.
Colby took a big inhale, ready to start singing the music, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him into my apartment.
I slammed my door shut, locking it quickly. "Next time you do something like that, I'm gonna kill you."
"That's not very- why do you have a knife?" He motioned toward the knife sitting on my side table.
"What-? Oh, I thought you were an intruder." I explained.
He lightly smiled, his dimples appearing. "You think an intruder would knock?"
I snapped, annoyed. "Aren't you here to apologize?"
"Right, right," he cleared his throat, his demeanor changing. "Y/N, I'm deeply sorry."
"Sure." I narrowed my eyes, walking towards my kitchen.
He followed me. "I know what I did was fucked up. I should have responded to you."
"You completely ignored me for over a week." I informed him, resting my back against the counter.
He nodded. "I know. I shouldn't have done that."
I crossed my arms uncomfortably. "...were you busy?"
"No, not really." He divulged, dropping his head.
"So, you purposefully ignored my calls and text..." I could feel my hands shake against my arms.
"You make it sound bad-" He mumbled.
"It is that bad." I emphasized, stopping him. "Colby, you wanna talk about being childish? That shit was childish."
He agreed. "I know it was."
"Obviously not since you keep joking about it." I argued.
"I'm not trying to joke," he protested, running his hands through his hair. "Do you wanna know the honest to God truth?"
"Of course I do." I answered, furrowing my eyebrows.
He exhaled, glancing at me. "When we first got together, even though we were taking it slow, I was terrified to date you."
"Terrified?" I puzzled.
He swallowed hard. "Yes. Scared shitless."
"Why?" I questioned.
"I thought it was because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. But then... at dinner," his voice lowered, his shoulders dropping. "I realized it was more than that."
I shook my head, confused. "What are you ta-"
"I'm falling in love with you, Y/N." He confessed.
His words made me step back, my breath hitching in my throat.
I choked. "What?"
"When you laughed really hard, and did that cute snort thing you do, I remember we looked at each other... and all I saw was you," his eyes bore into mine, causing goosebumps to rise all over my skin. "No one else in that restaurant existed. And in that moment, I wanted to tell you I love you."
I stammered out words, unable to think clearly. "S-so... you-"
"When I felt it, I knew I had to go home. Because I was just so shocked at the feeling. I haven't felt that way for anyone in a long time." He sighed exhaustingly, "and... I apologize that I ignored you. Every time I saw your messages, I knew I should have responded. But my body, my mind, wouldn't let me."
I frowned. "Because you love me?"
"Because... I'm scared to love you." He admitted.
A heavy silence fell over the apartment. I shuddered out an exhale, not even noticing I had been holding my breath in for so long. Colby closed his eyes, twisting up his face, and turned his back to me.
"Why are you scared to love me?" I gulped, scared of his answer.
His shoulders tensed as he gripped the counter. "The last time you felt heartbroken... did it leave you feeling empty? Because that's how I felt... for so long. It's not even the empty feeling that bothered me. It was the fact that I knew something used to be there... and now it's gone. I miss who I was before."
I opened my mouth, but no words escaped.
"I have this deep, guttural feeling that you're gonna realize I'm not worth loving, and that there is someone else out there that is, and you're gonna leave me." His voice trembled as he spoke, "everyone... always leaves me."
I gasped quietly. "Colby-"
He turned back to me, his face becoming red. "I just feel like no one ever needs me, you know? Like some people only keep me around because they don't have the heart to just tell me they don't care anymore. Even Sam has someone else.
I consoled. "That's not-"
"And I know it's selfish to want everyone around me to only want me. I don't really feel that way. I just... don't feel like anyone really needs me as much as I need them," his chest quaked as his breathing began to speed up. "And when you realize it too... I don't think I can live through that fall out again. I don't think I'm gonna survive it."
"Wait, Col-" I murmured.
"At that dinner, I had this gut-wrenching anxiety come over me; a voice in my head that said 'she's gonna leave you too' and... I'm just so sorry." He panted, his eyes welling up.
I wrapped my arms around him tightly, pressing his body into mine as hard as I could. He buried his face into my neck, his body almost going limp against mine.
I couldn't help my own tears spill as they landed on his shirt. "Baby, why didn't you tell me you were feeling this way before?"
"I was ashamed. I should be stronger than this." He fumed through his tears.
I rubbed his face lovingly. "Who said that? You are strong. Expressing your emotions is strong."
He nodded, croaking. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. Can you forgive me?"
"Of course. How about tonight you stay over, and then in the morning, we'll talk about this more? Okay?" I suggested, resting my hands on his forearms.
"Yeah." He whimpered.
I smiled brokenly. "Come on, let's go to bed."
I lightly grasped Colby's hand, pulling him slowly into my bedroom. He stumbled along, his head remaining down.
I sat him down on the bed and slid off his jacket, placing it on my dresser. I cupped his face, tracing his jaw with my fingers. His eyes finally landed on mine as I tilted his head up.
I leaned down and kissed his lips, resting my forehead against his.
"I'm not gonna leave you, Colby." I stated, gazing into his eyes.
He begged in a hushed tone. "Please don't."
"I won't. I promise." I reassured, kissing his forehead.
I walked over to the other side of my bed and laid down. Colby kicked off his shoes, taking his belt off and pulling his jeans down. After getting undressed, he slid into bed with me, laying his head down softly on my chest. Wrapping his arms around me, he buried his head into my neck again, sighing against my skin. I ran my fingers through his hair, a light hum falling from his lips. I ran my other hand up and down his spine, feeling him shiver under my touch.
"We'll be okay, Colby." I whispered.