tw: mentions of sexual assault
"Why can't I see him?"
Ophelia's brittle voice rang through the hospital room. Zach watched her, wincing at her expression.
"You can't leave bed yet," Mrs. Tristano explained. "He can't leave his incubator. You'll just have to wait."
"...but he's alive, right? He's okay?"
Mrs. Dempsey stepped forward, placing a hand in the girl. "Yes, honey, he's okay."
Ophelia's face scrunched up into another devastated expression. Soft tears ran down her cheeks. "I just want to see him."
Zach had been waiting in the chair against the wall, next to Honor. But hurried forward, pulling his phone out. "Do you want to see the photos again?"
Ophelia sniffed, wiping her nose as her mother handed her a tissue. Zach pulled up the photos they had taken, the family being let in to see the baby only an hour ago. Ophelia snatched the phone from him, looking at the photos for a long time. Another tear fell, dropping on the screen.
"Why can't they bring the incubator in here?" Ophelia asked, knowing it was a stupid question but wanting to ask anyway.
"Ophelia, it wouldn't be safe yet," her mother said. "Do you want the baby rolling around in there while they transport him? The cords might get messed up."
Ophelia wiped her eyes. "I'm his mom. He should be with me."
Nothing felt stranger than calling herself a mom.
Because she had barely gotten used to the idea of being pregnant. And now she was a mom.
She was a mom with a baby that had to be in an incubator. Because she wasn't responsible enough to keep him safe in the womb for nine months. How could she trust herself with him for the rest of her life?
Zach reached out, grabbing her hand. Ophelia held his hand tightly. She started crying again.
Zach had informed her of everything. There was no shooting. It was a drill.
She almost killed her baby from stress from a drill.
"Ophelia, calm down," her mother said. "You'll make yourself sick. Is your stomach upset at all?"
Ophelia shook her head, and kept wiping her eyes.
"Maybe we should give her some space," Zach suggested, seeing her fragile state. Then again, Ophelia always seemed fragile.
"She needs sleep, she can't just-"
Mrs. Tristano's phone started going off. She looked at it, staring at the caller ID with unwanted expression. "I'm gonna take this."
Mrs. Dempsey stood up. "Come on, Honor. Why don't we take you to get something to eat?"
Honor glanced at her sister once, before nodding, and going.
Honor passed her mother in the hall, who was in heated conversation with someone. Mrs. Dempsey slowed, listening. Her mother was speaking in mandarin, so the conversation was lost to the younger girl.
"Go on, Honor. I'll stay with your mother for a few moments."
Honor didn't know what to do, so she just stood at the end of the hallway, waiting to be acknowledged again so she'd know where to go.
In the hospital room, Zach kept hold of Ophelia's hand.
"Can you show me the pictures again?" Ophelia asked, softly.
Zach nodded, pulling his hand away to take out his phone. He handed it to her. She touched the screen softly, her eyes glossing over.
"I'm the one who's supposed to protect him more than anyone in the world," she mumbled. "But...I didn't, and now he has to be in a fucking incubator-"
"Hey," Zach told her. "You didn't do anything wrong, O. How were you supposed to know the school was going to pretend to kill us?"
Ophelia's voice was low. "I should've been in class. The teachers probably told people it was a drill. It's just because I was skipping-"
"They didn't," Zach insisted. He took her hands again, covering it with both of his. "No one was told anything. You did nothing wrong, O."
She bit her lip. "What about the ulcers? They're saying that it caused a problem during the surgery. I stressed myself out, and it hurt him-"
"The ulcers were only a problem when it came to stitching you up," he told her. "After they took him out. He was fine. No problems."
Ophelia sniffed. She wiped her eye. "If there was a problem, I'd rather it be with me."
Zach's face fell. He didn't know how to respond to that.
The door opened. "Zachary." His mother said his name. "The three of us have to step out for a moment, alright? They just gave us her prescriptions, we're gonna get them. Can you stay?"
Zach nodded. "Of course."
"Thank you darling," she told her son. Looking at Ophelia she said, "We'll only be a moment."
Ophelia just nodded, not saying anything in reply. Zach watched her somber expression.
The heart monitor beeped loudly, and it was all the sound that went through the room for a long moment.
"You know what?" he said. "Give me a second, alright?"
Her face fell. "You're leaving?"
She'd be all alone.
"I'm just grabbing something," he told her. "I'll be right back."
"I don't-" She stopped herself.
He watched her carefully and she swallowed hard.
"I don't want to be alone, Zach."
"Hey," he said softly, walking back up to her, taking hold of her hand again. "I'll be just a minute."
She shut her eyes, rubbing her hand over them, nodding.
Zach hesitated, before leaning down, kissing her softly on the forehead. "I'll be just a minute," he repeated, before stepping out.
She took a heavy breath, feeling a crushing weight hit her as soon as he walked out and she was left alone with herself.
Zach walked into the waiting room briskly. So many people were still there. They all looked at him when he walked in.
He sighed, pointing. "Justin, Estella, you can come with me."
"She's taking visitors?" Tony asked.
"Kind of," Zach said. "She'll take you two."
"What about us?" Marisa asked him. "I want to see her."
"Maybe later."
Tony glared at the back of Zach as he walked out briskly. Justin and Estella hurrying to catch up with him. Tony shook his head, scoffing. "Puto madre." Zach was acting like he had all the power already.
Scott had sat next to Justin and Diego. He stared after the three, leaning forward. His hands were classed together, and his eyes were red. He inhaled sharply.
The wait was painful.
For Ophelia too. Even though she only waited a few moments, before the door to the room opened. Estella entered.
She let out a thankful breath. "Estella..."
"Oh, Ophelia!" Estella hurried over, grabbing to her, hugging her. "I was so worried!"
"Careful with her," Zach snapped. "Her stomach's barely stitched up."
Estella pulled away, apologizing immediately. "I'm so sorry-"
"It's okay," Ophelia said. She reached up, touching Estella's cheek. "I'm so glad you're here. I-I didn't think you'd stay this long."
"We're all still here."
Justin stepped forward.
"Justin!" Ophelia beamed.
The boy stepped in, and Ophelia immediately glowed with happiness.
Justin wished he could act just as happy. But he couldn't. Not when looking at her thin, pale face, filled with clear exhaustion.
He stared at her for a moment. She noticed his intense gaze, his worried eyes. Her face fell, and she became shyer. "H-Hi," she breathed.
He shook the thoughts from his head, smiling brightly. "Shit, Ophelia...How you feeling?"
"So much better with you guys here," she beamed. She held her hands, waiting for Estella and Justin to take hold of them. "Are you guys okay? Is the waiting room comfortable?"
"It's fine," Justin said, laughing lightly. "Don't worry about that. Okay?"
Estella laughed too. "Yeah, O. How is it in here? Does...anything hurt?"
She took her hand away from her, lightly touching her stomach. "I can...still feel a burning."
"Burning?" Justin frowned. "Nah. None of that."
Before she could stop him, he reached out and pressed the bottom that called in the nurse.
"Justin!" She pressed it, turning it off. "Don't bother them. It's normal."
"You feel a burning?" he asked. "Thats not normal."
"It's from the stitches," Ophelia said. "But the medicine's already done as much as it'll do."
"We could try for more," Estella suggested.
Zach stepped forward. "We have enough guys. Her mom's called the nurse in ten times already. She's been given all she can handle."
"You want something stronger?" Justin offered, leaning down lower.
"Justin!" Ophelia criticized. "No. Just-Just hospital drugs."
"Hey, stop stressing her out," Estella said.
"I'm not," he insisted.
Estella looked at Ophelia. "Did Zach tell you we saw the baby?"
Ophelia hesitated. "Yeah. Yeah. He mentioned it." She turned to Justin, her eyes wary. "Justin, I'm...If you feel uncomfortable with what I did, then-then I can change it."
Justin fell silent, before letting out a low laugh. "You mean, the name?"
"I meant to ask you," she told him. "I wanted to, I swear. I thought I had more time to."
She seemed so hesitant, and so shy. Like she expected him to yell at her for it.
Justin smiled still. "Justin Tristano. The second, right?"
She smiled slightly, remembering the times he pretended Tristano was his name.
"I loved it," he told her, speaking low and honest.
She was still unsure. It was such a big things she sprang on him. She felt guilty. "But-But if you feel uncomfortable-"
"I don't feel uncomfortable," he told her, gently. "Maybe just...un...worthy."
Ophelia frowned. "It felt perfect to me."
Justin yearned to say more, but he felt Zach's eyes on him, and he felt uncomfortable being so emotional in front of the boy.
Estella took her hand again. "And, the middle name...Enrique." She gulped. "That was-That was the one you two picked out, right?"
Ophelia hesitated, before nodding. She knew exactly who 'you two' was referring to. They all did.
Estella smiled. "I love it. I love it a lot."
"You know everyone's here, right?" Justin asked. "Marisa, Scott, Diego, Tony, Tyler, fucking Luke-"
"They're all still here?" Her mind lingering on Scott for a moment.
Then, it all came flooding back. The thoughts she had pushed to the back of her brain for so long.
He knew.
He knew she was pregnant.
And then it hit her that she wasn't even pregnant anymore. She never got to sit down with him and explain things. She felt a stinging in her heart. She reimagined his face when she fell to the ground at school, saying she was hurt. And...his face when she knew that he knew.
Oh, god.
"Do you want me to get someone else too?" Estella offered.
"Let's be slow with that," Zach said. "You guys are freaking her out enough." His eyes were on the monitor. "You're making her heart beat too fast."
"I'm okay," Ophelia tried to say. Turning to Estella she said, "Maybe-Maybe you could bring in Marisa...I really want to see her."
Ophelia knew Marisa was unharmed. Zach told her that when she first woke up. But it didn't stop her from having a clear memory of hearing her die.
"Yeah, of course." She stepped out, Zach following her and saying, "I'll make sure she just grabs one."
For a moment, she was left alone with Justin.
"You sure you don't need anything else, O?"
She nodded quickly. "Yeah. Yeah, don't worry, okay? I'm fine."
"You said that yesterday too, didn't you? Now you're in the hospital."
She fell silent. "I didn't mean to be."
"I know, I know, and I know you didn't-" He stopped suddenly. He couldn't hold it anymore, "Why-Why Justin?"
She blinked. "What?"
"Why Justin?" he asked. "I-I'm honored. But honestly, I don't deserve it, O. Why not...Tony?"
"Why not Justin?"
He let out a low, humorless chuckle. "Come on, O. You named your son after a guy who was shooing heroin in an alley in Oakland."
She winced at his words. "No, I...I named him after my best friend."
Justin just stared at her. He look at the ground, shaking his head. "I shouldn't be your best friend, O."
She felt suddenly insecure. "I...I thought maybe you felt the same-"
"You're my best friend, Ophelia. Come on, of course you are. But you're you. You're everyone's best friend. I shouldn't be yours."
She didn't understand. "Why would you say that?"
"What kind of role model could I ever be?" he asked her. "Just the kind who's mistakes are so fucking awful you never wanna make them."
"What do you mean, Justin?" she whispered. "You're amazing-"
"I was an addict-"
"You were the person I needed," she told him. "You've always been who I needed. And-And I'll always need you, Justin."
He looked down again. "There's a hundred other people that'd be more useful than me. They're all outside."
"I thought you were excited to be Justin's godfather?"
"I am," he insisted. "But-Justin's godfather? His name is Justin. Every time he meets someone, or you meet someone, they'll ask who he's names after."
"So?"
"So? Why would you want anyone to know about me?"
"I think everyone should know about you," she said, softly.
He swallowed, hard. "What if I fuck up again? You think you won't regret naming him Justin once I'm back on the street, being homeless crack addict?"
"I won't," she said. "And-And you won't. Because you're my best friend, I-I wouldn't let that happen to you again."
"It's a lot off added pressure-"
Added pressure.
That was one way to put it.
"Good," she said. "Maybe it'll keep you on the right path."
He let out a sad chuckle. Then, after a moment, a quiet, "...I feel like I'm gonna let you down again."
"You can't," she said.
"Why, the bar's too low for me? I'm not raising enough expectations to let someone down?"
Surprisingly, she laughed. "Justin, you're just...you. You can't let me down."
He bit his lip. "So I'm you're best friend? You mind saying that in front of Marisa-"
She laughed again.
The door reopened, and Marisa herself rushed in.
"Ophelia!" she exclaimed, hurrying forward. Just like Estella, she hugged her. "Oh my god!"
Justin stepped back, watching the two embrace, watching Ophelia's eyes light up as she spoke to her friend.
He gulped.
That added pressure hit him like a brick.
*****
Scott clasped and unclasped his hands, taking slow deep breaths.
People went in and out.
Tony. Diego. Tyler. Alex. Charlie. Justin again. Marisa again. Estella again. Tony again.
Then, everyone.
Everyone went in.
Even fucking Jessica, who Ophelia hadn't even talked to in so long. Everyone went in. And he stayed out there.
Why couldn't he go in?
He cringed. Did she not want him in there?
He felt his body lulling, craving sleep. But at the same time, his anxiousness kept him wide awake.
His leg shook up and down, up and down. He was sure it drove Diego crazy next to him.
"How'd she look?" Scott asked aloud, once Marisa was taken back again with Estella. Justin and Zach stayed in there the entire time.
"She actually looked good," Tyler said, surprised. "But, I guess we can't see her stomach or anything."
Alex hit him. "Don't be saying that."
"He's technically right," Charlie said. "But, you know, mentally she seems fine."
Scott doubted it.
Mrs. Jensen finally walked back in. She had been with Clay the last few hours. "How are things going?"
"We're all gotten to see her," Charlie said, happily.
Alex elbowed him. "Dude."
Charlie's eyes widened. "Shit. Sorry, Scott. We're almost all seen her."
"I got a text from Justin saying I could go in." She glanced at Scott. "Unless, you're ahead of me in line."
Scott cleared his throat, shaking his head. "No, you go ahead."
Mrs. Jensen glanced at the boy once more, before disappearing again.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Scott felt like his body was on fire.
He felt like it was a punishment. It had to be. He deserved all this painful waiting.
Why did he think he deserved to speak to her now, when he never spoke up for her before all this?
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
*****
"You're being rude, Monty-"
"Shut the fuck up," Montgomery snapped at Jeff.
Jeff scoffed. He stood, leaving the poolhouse.
Through the window, Scott could see him. He had gone up to Ophelia, who was crying. Jeff's girlfriend was already comforting her with her arm around the smaller girl. He went up to the two, talking to them.
Montgomery watched him through the window, a hard look in his eye.
"Look, Monty," Bryce said, with a laugh. "Jeff and his girlfriend are talking Ophelia into a three way."
Montgomery clenched his jaw, watching them even more carefully.
"Shut up, Bryce," Zach said, lowly. He was playing a game with Marcus on the television. "And fuck you, Monty. You were being rude."
Scott sat next to Justin at the table. Justin was out of it, stoned out of his mind.
But he still had the ability to laugh. "Nah, he's right. She was being a bitch."
Scott hesitated. "I don't think she was. She was worried for you, dude."
"Monty is his own man," Bryce said. "He doesn't need someone telling him when he's had enough."
"You're driving her home, you asshole," Zach snapped at him. "She can tell you three beers is enough if she thinks three beers is enough."
"I'm not some little bitch she can boss around," Montgomery snapped.
Scott watched nervously. He glanced out the window. Ophelia looked like she was feeling better.
Zach started, "You made her cry-"
"I didn't say shit that wasn't true," Montgomery scoffed.
"Dude," Scott said, frowning. "She was scared you'd crash, and you told her she was being dramatic and her family wouldn't even care if she died."
"She's dating Montgomery De La Cruz," Justin slurred out. "She should be prepared for a little drunk driving. Jeff's too much of a pussy for that, though."
Scott looked out the window again. Ophelia was talking to Jeff now, and looked like she was trying to argue her case, and he was nodding, agreeing with her.
"Exactly," Bryce said, taking a sip of his own beer. "Ophelia's the same kind of goody two shoes bitch."
"Don't say that," Montgomery snapped.
Bryce snorted. "You literally just called her that to her face five minutes ago."
"Fuck off," Montgomery said. "I'm her boyfriend, I can say that."
He couldn't. He shouldn't. Scott knew he shouldn't.
But Ophelia came by in, sitting next to Montgomery silently, Jeff and his girlfriend coming in as well.
The mood had shifted. He didn't want to ruin it again.
So he stayed silent.
He was always silent.
And he always convinced himself it wasn't a big deal.
It was just Monty being Monty. Not much harm he could do besides being an asshole.
*****
Estella came back into the waiting room with Marisa, who took a seat again. "Tony, do you want to come back again?"
He started to get up, but stopped, seeing Scott. "Um...Scott here hasn't gone."
Estella looked at him. "Oh. Yeah. Come on, Scott."
Scott looked up at her, slowly.
"Did she ask for me?"
Estella hesitated.
Scott waved his hand. "It's fine. Tony can go."
"Scott, she hasn't asked for anyone specifically," she told him.
"She asked for me," Marisa put in. "Don't force him in, he'lol just stress her out."
Scott had never wanted scream 'fuck you' at someone so badly in his entire life. But she was probably right.
"She didn't even ask for me and Justin" Estella said. "Come on, let me take you back. I know she wants to see yoh."
Scott was still for moment, before he eventually nodded, standing to his feet.
His feet hardly worked as he finally left the waiting room, Estella walking him down a long corridor.
She stopped in front of a closed door. Scott stilled. He didn't open it himself. He couldn't. Estella noticed, and she opened it, waiting for him to walk in first.
Zach was inside, as was Justin, and Mrs. Jensen.
And Ophelia. She laid in the hospital bed was in the middle of the room. She stilled when she saw him. Her eyes stayed on him a long moment, before looking back to Mrs. Jensen.
"Um, what were you saying?"
Mrs. Jensen glanced at Scott, before looking back at her. "I understand that you might feel uncomfortable pressing charges, but the fact of the matter is that the school at least needs to cover the medical bills."
Scott stayed by the wall by the door. Of course she didn't want to sue the school. He knew Ophelia hated making people angry, even more than she hated being put into these horrible situations.
"And, god forbid there are any problems with the baby further on, the school should be liable for these expenses. Up to the time he's ten years of age."
"Until he's ten?" Estella asked.
"They made her premature," Justin said. "They're lucky neither of them died."
Scott tensed.
"Scott," Justin then said, "You can come in more."
Zach shifted back more as Scott passed him.
He stood awkwardly near the end of the bed. "H-How are you doing, O?"
She nodded. "A lot better."
He gulped. "I'm glad. I'm really glad."
She stared at him a moment longer.
"Um, guys..." she said, cautiously. "Can we, um...Can I be alone with Scott for a few minutes?"
The room was silent for a moment.
"Sure," Estella said. "We'll step out."
"I guess so," Zach mumbled.
"Subtle," Justin said, jokingly, leaving with his mom.
Zach sent Scott a sharp gaze before leaving.
"Hey, Scott..." she said, slowly. She pointed over to the empty chair. "You can take a seat-"
"Why didn't you-" He stopped himself, biting his tongue. He remembered what his mother told him. No questions until she was out of the hospital. He took a deep breath, rewording his entire sentence.
"...Congratulations, Ophelia."
Her eyes softened. "Thank you, Scott." She looked around, wondering if anyone left their phone. "Have-Have you seen him yet?"
"Justin?" Then, he clarified, "Like, baby Justin?"
Ophelia couldn't help the smile on her face just thinking of him. "Baby Justin." She laughed slightly. "I like that."
His heart melted seeing her smile like that. He hadn't seen that smile since their night together at the camping retreat.
"He's really pretty," Ophelia told him. "Have you seen him? If not, people took a lot of good photos."
"I saw the pictures, I just haven't seen him in real life." He asked her, "Have you?"
Ophelia's face fell. Her shoulders dropped. "No. They won't let me leave yet. And they said he has to stay there for now."
"I'm sorry," he told her.
"It's okay," she said. "I'm sure he's safer in there than with me."
"He just needs a little extra help, Ophelia. It's nothing to do with you."
She nodded. She gestured to the chair again. "Why don't you come closer?"
He nervously sat right next to her. She stared at the wall ahead, not looking at him for a moment.
"...I'm so sorry, Scott-"
"Justin was a nice name," he said, cutting her off. "It's cute. Everyone likes it."
She smiled slowly. "Thank you. Yeah, I've had it in mind for a while."
A while. She's been pregnant for a while. He had only known a few hours.
She gulped. "But, Scott, I really don't know how to begin to apologize-"
"Where'd your mom head off to?"
Ophelia thought. "I don't know. The pharmacy I thought. But that was a while ago."
"Oh..." He leaned forward. "You thirsty? You need any water?"
She shook her head. "I'm okay."
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
She reached out cautiously, taking his hand that he so willingly gave to her.
"I just like you being here, you know?" She cringed. "I'm sorry it took so long to get you in here."
He shrugged. "I didn't mind waiting."
"I just...I knew you'd be mad at me."
He let out a sigh. "I'm not mad at you."
"I just-I wanted to see you. But I thought you'd be angry when you came in. I got scared, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I made you wait-"
"Hey, hey, hey," he told her. "I told you, I was fine with waiting. I got to catch up on some sleep, alright?"
"Did you?"
"Yeah." No. He hadn't slept in over twenty four hours.
"I'm sorry, though. Scott. I'm so sorry-"
The door opened. Mrs. Jensen stepped in. She looked at them carefully. "Sorry. I don't mean to intrude. There's a nurse saying you need legal counsel, or a witness for a document they're bringing?"
"Oh," Ophelia said, lightly taking her hand from Scott. "Okay. Yeah."
Mrs. Jensen opened the door all the way. The nurse stepped in. "Hi, Ms. Tristano. How are we today?"
"Great," Ophelia said. But she looked awful to Scott.
"Is this dad?" the nurse asked, smiling.
He stiffened.
"No," Ophelia breathed. "Just my friend."
He glanced at her once, before looking away.
"Would you like him to leave? There's a few personal forms for you."
"It's fine," Ophelia said. "What's the one I need legal counsel for?"
"Ah." The nurse looked through the papers. She hesitated. "You're sure you don't need privacy?"
"I'm okay," Ophelia insisted. Scott was worried now.
The nurse continued. "As I'm sure you know, the doctors are unable to comply with DNRs that haven't been preapprived before surgery-"
"Wait," Mrs. Jensen said, cutting her off abruptly as soon the term 'DNR' registered in her brain. "I'm sorry. What's going on?"
Ophelia's eyes widened. She suddenly remembered what this was about.
"Shit. Mrs. Jensen, you didn't have to-"
"Are you trying to make this girl sign a DNR?" Mrs. Jensen asked. Her voice was angered. "She is barely eighteen. This is not something you can ask of her." Suddenly furious, Mrs. Jensen said, "Who the hell sent you in here? I could have your license taken away for even suggesting it-"
"Mrs Jensen!" Ophelia said, panicked. The nurse had turned pale white.
"I-I swear, I'm not encouraging it at all," the nurse said. "Just-Ms. Tristano tried to request one at the beginning of surgery. We had to deny it because it wasn't requested ahead of time."
Mrs. Jensen stepped back like she had been shoved. Her eyes fell on Ophelia.
Ophelia sat there, humiliation and shame running through her. "It wasn't-" She didn't know what to say now. "I don't want it anymore."
The nurse nodded, and looked at Mrs. Jensen nervously. "I have a few papers for you to sign otherwise. I'll, um, I'll make sure the DNR is taken off all the documents."
"Yeah," Mrs. Jensen said, her voice curt. "I'll make sure you do so."
The older woman looked at Ophelia once more before leaving.
It was silent for a long moment. Ophelia didn't know what to say. She didn't look at Scott. She just hoped that somehow, magically, he hadn't heard the nurse.
But he had. Of course he had.
"...You asked for a DNR, Ophelia?"
She shut her eyes tightly for a moment.
"When?"
Looking at him, she said, "Please don't tell anyone. It was stupid-"
"Why would you do that?" he asked, in a low whisper. "Why-Why would you do that?"
"I don't know," she breathed, then repeated, "Please don't tell my mom."
When the fuck did he even talk to her mom?
"We were all waiting for you," he breathed. "We were all worried."
"I'm sorry," she said, again. "I-I don't know what I was thinking. But-But that must be normal before a surgery, because they said no."
Scott's face was pale. "What if they hadn't?"
"Nothing happened. It wouldn't have mattered-"
"It would have mattered," Scott breathed. "Ophelia, why would you do that?"
She cringed. "They-They told me they thought he was dead. My-My baby, they thought he was dead at first. Meaning-Meaning I went through everything I went thought just to-just to kill him because I couldn't calm down during a fucking school shooter drill."
"No one could calm down! It was fucked up, Ophelia!"
She flinched at the tone.
"I thought Marisa was dead..." Ophelia breathed. "I know-I know Bolan came out, and it was a drill, but-but it didn't register until afterwards. I thought I got another person killed."
"You never got anyone killed!" he told her. "What the fuck were you thinking asking for a fucking DNR!"
She flinched again at his voice.
"I'm sorry!" she said again, panicking. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you-"
"You don't tell me anything!"
She took a deep breath.
"...Scott, I think you should leave."
He swallowed, hard.
He looked at the ground for a long moment, before standing up and abruptly leaving the room.
*****
Half hour passed. Justin and Estella were the only ones in the room with Ophelia and Zach.
Until Scott came back, unannounced.
He just walked in, looking like he wanted to say something, but instead just taking seat in the chair against the wall, next to the door.
Ophelia eyes stayed on him.
Eventually she said, "...Scott, you can come back over here."
He didn't say anything, he just took a deep breath, and did that.
He sat next to her, wordlessly, for a long time as the rest of them conversed.
They both hated how they left things half hour ago. She hated that she sent him away. And he hated how he spoke to her.
"You're mom's gonna be back in an hour," Zach told her, getting off the phone.
Ophelia nodded. "Okay."
She looked at Scott again. His eyes were on the floor.
"Hey," she said to them, lowly, "I'm really sorry to ask this, but-"
"We'll give you guys another moment alone," Estella said, standing.
Justin asked, "We will?"
Estella grabbed him by the jacket. "Come on."
Zach didn't seem to want to follow. Estella grabbed his jacket sleeve too. "Come on."
Estella closed the door behind them.
Mrs. Jensen had been respectable. She didn't mention the DNR to anyone else. But it was information that clearly burdened Scott so harshly.
Ophelia wiped her face. "Scott...I'm so sorry. I didn't have any right to ask you to leave-"
"I missed you," he told her, softly. He gulped. His voice was low and wavering. "I was worried about you."
She felt awful. "I know."
"I just wanted you to be okay," he told her. He stared at the ground, using his hand to wipe his eyes. "I was so scared you weren't going to be okay."
"I know, it was stupid, and-and I'm glad they didn't listen, and-" She stopped abruptly as Scott leaned forward, taking her head, bringing it up and his face, hunching over, and crying. Harsh, heavy crying. The kind of cry you let out when someone dies.
She cursed herself, watching him cry so hard. "Scott, I'm so sorry-"
"Please, don't ask for that," he begged her. "Please, Ophelia."
"I won't," she promised. "It was stupid. I'm sorry."
He held his hand as tightly as he could, shaking his head.
"Please don't leave me like that."
She had never hated herself more than when watching his reaction to her stupid decision. Her stupid, irrational decision.
But it was also his words, his words begging her not to leave him, that reminded her just how much she was still wanted by him. Which was something she had been questioning for the last half hour.
"I was out of my mind, I don't know what I was thinking."
Scott let out a heavy sob. "I love you, Ophelia." She stilled, her heart breaking at the pain in his voice. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that you couldn't tell me. I'm sorry, Ophelia."
"Fuck, Scott. It's not you, I just-"
"I love you," he said again, leaning forward, still with his face towards the ground. "Please don't make me go."
"I won't," she said. "I want you here. I've wanted you here the whole time."
"You didn't ask for me."
"I thought you were mad at me."
He finally looked at her, keeping her hand in his. "How could I be mad at you?"
"I wanted to tell you," she said in a low tone. "That's-That's what I was gonna tell you. After school. I'm sorry, I thought I had more time-"
"How could I have not noticed?" he cried. "It was...It was this whole time."
Again, she said, "I'm so sorry."
"Since Homecoming." He looked up at her. "Since Homecoming."
He didn't say it like a question. But she knew it was.
She took a deep breath. "Since Homecoming."
He looked away again.
"Scott, when I talked to you at Monty's funeral-"
He shook his head. "I don't want to talk about him."
"But-But I didn't think I'd see you again," she told him. "After the funeral. When you asked me if I knew who Monty hurt, I-I really thought I wouldn't see you, and I thought lying would be better-"
"How would it better?"
"You guys were best friends," Ophelia tried to explain. "Why would I make you hate him if I thought you'd never see me again?"
He looked at her sharply. "Ophelia, you didn't do anything! I hate him because he-" He cut himself off, and grit his teeth together.
"If I knew all this would happen, I would've told you," she said. "But-But maybe it's better I didn't. Because-Because we-we got to be normal for awhile, right? That night at retreat? We-We were happy. I was happy. We were happy."
Scott stared at her. "...Do you think I wouldn't have wanted you if I knew?"
She hesitated.
"Ophelia-"
"I know," she breathed. "I know. You've told me a thousand times, you'd always want me. But it wouldn't have been the same. Because-Because we were normal, and we were happy-"
Scott started crying again.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Ophelia, how could you think that?" he asked her.
"Were you mad?"
"I wasn't-" He paused. "You didn't tell me, so I wasn't careful with you. P-Physically."
Her eyes softened. "You're always careful with me Scott."
"But I didn't know," he said. "I made you go out on a lake at night. It was freezing."
"I didn't get in the water, it was okay-"
"I could have hurt you," he told her. "The boat could've sank. You couldn't gotten sick, or worse. I could've hurt you."
"But you didn't-"
"I could've," he said. He wiped his face. "I took you to the lake, I tried to have you drink-"
"It doesn't matter, Scott. You're always careful. You never made me do anything I didn't want to do. Ever."
He gripped her hand tighter.
"I'll tell you anything you want to know," she said. "I'm sorry I didn't before. What-What would make you feel better, Scott?"
He almost laughed. "What would make me feel better?"
"I'll tell you anything," she repeated. "Just-What do you want to know, Scott?"
A million things.
But not now. Not like this.
He now put both hands over hers. "I just want to know you're if okay."
She nodded. "I'm okay, Scott."
"You're not okay," he said. "You're in the hospital."
"But it's okay," she breathed. "Justin's okay. And-And that's what matters."
"You matter, O!" Scott inhaled loudly. "Why the fuck do you act like this?!"
She flinched, pulling her hand away.
"Wait," Scott said softly. "I'm sorry." She leaned away. "I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't be raising my voice."
She glanced away. "No. You shouldn't."
"I'm sorry," he breathed, taking her hand again. "You're just...I could barely breath, O. Just-Just worrying about you."
She listened carefully. Holding her hand tighter, he said, "I just need you to care about yourself the way I care about you. That's all I want."
She felt a warmth as he ran his hand up and down her arm.
"I love you, Ophelia," he said again. "Please, just-just..." he shook his head. "Please, just be honest. How are you feeling?"
Ophelia leaned into his touch more as he softly touched her shoulder.
She took a deep breath.
"My stomach hurts really bad. It's...It's kind of burning."
His face fell. "Should I ask someone about it?"
"No," she said. "They can't give me anymore pain medication for a few hours."
"But you shouldn't feel burning," he said.
"It's-It's not just my stomach," she said. She glanced at the door once, before looking at Scott. "I hurt my knees."
"Your knees?"
"At the school. I-I fell. A few times."
Scott looked down at her legs. "Can I see?"
She hesitated, but nodded. She pulled the blanket to the side more. Scott's gentle fingers lifting the hospital gown ever so slightly above her knees. He flinched the same time she did.
Her knees were purple and red, bruised.
"This is from school?" He cursed himself. "I'm so sorry, I-I didn't even realize-"
"They barely hurt," she told him. "I just-I wanted to tell you."
His fingers ghosted over her knees.
"Anything else happen?"
"No."
"You don't hurt anywhere else?"
"No, just..." He looked over when she paused. Ophelia put a hand over her heart. "Have-Have you seen Justin, yet?"
"He's been in the waiting room-"
"No, my...my son." It felt so weird to say. She didn't feel like a mother. She figured it because she hadn't acted like one yet, or even.
She hasn't even seen her child. What kind of mother was she?
"No," Scott said, plainly.
Ophelia winced. "I know you said no earlier, I just thought maybe you did after. I still haven't..." She grimaced. "It hurts not being able to. I don't know how to explain it. And...I miss him so much. I haven't even met him but I miss him."
He said quickly, "It's okay. I'm sure you'll see him soon."
Ophelia looked away, taking a deep breath before turning back to him.
"You said you've seen photos?"
He sighed and admitted, "No. I actually haven't seen any."
Ophelia's face lit up. "I-I could call Justin in. Our Justin. He has so many. You should see him, Scott. Let me just-"
"It's okay," he said, cutting her off quicker than he intended. "I don't need to see any photos. I just want to focus on you."
Her face fell, not knowing how to take his reaction. "...okay."
"Can I sit in here with you?"
"Of course," she breathed.
Scott nodded, keeping her hand in his, sitting down next to the bed.
All she wanted was him there.
And all he wanted was to be there.
*****
"He's got some nerve showing up here," Zach scoffed as they saw Hansen Foundry walk in through the hospital entrance.
Foundry was the man in charge of all the new security measures in the school.
He had been in charge of the active shooter drill.
"What the hell does he want?" Marisa scoffed.
"Maybe he's here to apologize," Estella said, hopefully.
Foundry walked past the kids, slowly, nodding to them as he did so. Marisa didn't even try to hide her glare. He stopped at Mrs. Jensen, saying something lowly that the rest couldn't hear.
Mrs. Jensen excused herself and the two walked, and the kids in the hall watched as they entered the hospital room.
Scott had his head laid on the bed, finally resting his eyes, still holding Ophelia's hand when Foundry walked in.
"Scott," Ophelia said, as they came in, nudging him.
Scott looked up, letting Ophelia go immediately, and standing. Foundry glanced at him only once.
"Ophelia," Foundry began. "I speak for the entire staff of Liberty High when I say we were absolutely devastated by this outcome of our drill."
"Outcome," Mrs. Jensen piped in. "So is the school admitting fault?"
Foundry hesitated. "We are just as upset by this as you are-"
"Your drill caused my son to have a nervous breakdown and Ophelia to go into premature labor. People could have died-"
"I assure you, this drill was only designed to help save lives."
"But look at the outcome," Mrs. Jensen scoffed.
Foundry was quiet for a moment, before looking back at Ophelia.
"We would like to offer you a condolence check."
Ophelia sat up more, looking at Mrs. Jensen, like she was sure this wasn't real.
Foundry had a folder in his hand. He handed it to her. "For your medical expenses and more."
Ophelia took it, gently. She didn't open it. She didn't want to her until her mother was here.
"The state of California is apologetic as well," Foundry told her. "And what the district is willing to offer you is to pay for tuition, as well as room and board, for any California school of your choosing."
Ophelia's eyes widened. "Oh my god..."
Mrs. Jensen stepped closer. "May I see?"
She handed Mrs. Jensen the folder. Mrs. Jensen looked inside. She scoffed, shaking her head and looking back at Foundry. "Fifty thousand dollars? Are you kidding me? Any judge would easily grant her four times that amount without a trial."
"Plus tuition and medical expenses," Foundry tried to say.
"I've seen cases where the offer starts at a million-"
"We are extremely sorry for the circumstances," Foundry continued. "We want to do everything in our power to ensure you have a fast recovery-"
"I can't believe this," Mrs. Jensen scoffed. "You're seriously trying to offer fifty thousand?"
"I think it's a lot," Ophelia spoke up. They all turned to her.
"We'll talk about this later," Mrs. Jensen told her. "Mr. Foundry, if you didn't mind, she has to rest. Because of the situation you put her in."
Foundry nodded. "I'll be on my way. Ophelia, we're all thinking of you."
Ophelia gulped. "Thank you."
Before he left, he said, "Mr. Reed. You mind if we have a word?"
Scott tensed, but followed him.
He felt awkward walking past the people into he hall, and in the waiting room. Foundry didn't stop until they were outside, and he was waiting for a car to come pick him up.
"Mr. Reed, Bolan says you quit the other day before you left?"
Scott hesitated. He nodded. "Yes."
"And would that have anything to do with the fact you're clearly in a relationship with one of the Liberty High students?"
He froze. "I-I just-"
"If that woman calls a trial against us, you know we'll have to use that against the two of you." Foundry shook his head. "From what I've heard, Ophelia's always been a great girl. Bolan is the one that insisted on paying her tuition. If they go for more money, you'll get dragged into it."
"We didn't do anything wrong," Scott tried to say.
"Well, the school had a great lawyer after what happened to Hannah Baker, Bryce Walker, Montgomery De La Cruz. I'm sure you know that." He sighed. "I don't want to see that girl forced into any more testimonies. And if we go to trial, we'll win."
Scott glared. "You guys are at fault."
"The defense will bring up some story, saying she hid the pregnancy from the school purposefully. They'll say the stress that caused the premature labor was from the harassment of an older male employee who was fired."
He scoffed. "I didn't get fired, I quit."
"If this trial ensues, we'll have to reevaluate that."
Scott scoffed again.
"I don't want to do this," Foundry said. "You're a good kid too. I wouldn't want some stuff from a trial to ruin your work reputation. But it will. It'll be unlikely for you to find another job anywhere near here after they plaster your name in the paper. You'll be painted as an employee who was terminated for the safety of a female student."
"...Are you fucking kidding me? Like you fucking care about safety?"
"Reed-"
"Bryce Walker and half the damn baseball team raped woman on school property in that clubhouse," Scott snapped at him. "And he raped Hannah Baker, and she killed herself, because of the shit you let go on at school."
"Hannah Baker was a tragedy-"
"You're student killed another student after a Homecoming game," Scott spat. He took a shaking arm, and pointed towards the hospital. "Ophelia was pregnant because your student raped her. And he harrassed her. For years. And you didn't do shit-"
"Listen-"
"He hit her, and broke her nose, at school," Scott snapped. "And it was brought up at a trial, and no one did anything."
"What did you do, Mr. Reed?" Foundry asked him. "After the trial, didn't you remain close friends with Mr. Del la Cruz?"
Scott hesitated. "I'm not...his friend."
"Yes. Because tragically, he's past away. And we know he's more at fault than Liberty."
"You guys-"
"If a trial comes, Mr. Reed, you have the most to lose. Remember that."
Scott watched him walk away.
He had the most to lose from a trial?
No. He had the most to lose the night before, back when he didn't know if Ophelia was going to be okay or not.
Scott headed back into the hospital room. Everyone had gone back in. Estella was talking to Ophelia when stopping abruptly as he came back inside.
"What'd he say to you?" Ophelia asked him, immediately, worry prevalent in her eyes.
Scott hesitated, all eyes falling back in him. "...Nothing. He just made sure I really quit earlier."
"You quit?" Ophelia asked. "Scott, why would you quit?"
"It doesn't matter," he said. "I'm done there."
"Shit, Scott," Justin said, lowly. "You're not coming back at all?"
"He didn't say anything else?" Mrs. Jensen asked.
Scott glanced at Ophelia. "No. But...he was worried about the school getting sued."
"Which should happen," Marisa insisted. "Ophelia, after all the fucked up stuff that went on there?"
"I can't do a trial again," she said. "I could barely get through Hannah's."
"This one would be easier," Mrs. Jensen promised.
She bit her lip, and looked at Scott. "What do you think?"
Scott stayed still for a moment.
"I think you should," he said, finally. "Get money for your future, you know?"
"You should," Justin said too.
"Maybe," she said, finally.
The door opened. Mrs. Tristano and Mrs. Dempsey stepped inside.
"What the hell is going on in here?" Mrs. Tristano said. "There should not be visitors right now. My daughter needs to rest."
Mrs. Dempsey criticized her son. "Zach, you were supposed to be keeping the room clear."
After a moment of argument and tension, they all slowly left the room.
Scott giving her one more reassuring smile before leaving as well.
*****
Five days passed.
The waiting room trickled down. The lull of weekend passed, and people headed back to school. Scott stayed at the hospital. Most people would stop by an hour of two after school to visit. Marisa and Estella would come after school for a few hours everyday to see her as well, a lot of the time trying to bring her lunch or coffee. Justin would come to spend the night every now and then. He'd wait until her mother headed home before going in. Scott felt a pang in his chest. Because he knew she didn't like to sleep alone. It scared her. And now, he knew why.
She was scared of the dark for the same reason she was pregnant.
Scott would stay the night. But in the waiting room. Not in her room.
Whenever Scott walked in on Justin visiting, he felt like he was intruding. He'd go in, and all Justin and Ophelia would be talking about was the baby. The new baby boy. She still hadn't been able to see him, but the doctor said she'd be able to get up and move on her own soon, so she'd be able to go down to the intensive care herself. So she just talked and talked all about it. But she always stopped talking about the baby when Scott came in.
And secretly...he was glad. And he hated that he was glad, but he was. Because Scott didn't want to talk about the baby. Because every mention of it would remind him of Montgomery, and how she got pregnant, and the fact he didn't know she was pregnant.
How could he not have know?
...And how could Montgomery have done that? He really, really didn't know how Montgomery could have done it. But he did. He hurt her, and he hadn't cared.
Scott had barely been able to process what Montgomery did. Actually, it still hadn't fully processed yet. He hated his friend. He knew that. But how come he wasn't able to take down the photos he put up of them in his room yet?
Marisa had been right the other day. Montgomery could have ended up being the one to kill her after all. Because Ophelia almost died.
Montgomery hadn't just hurt her, he had ruined her life. Because he added such a permanent addition to it.
And Scott couldn't understand why no one else seemed to care. Why did everyone else talk about this baby like that's all it was: a baby. Like it wasn't something that was going to connect her to most evil person on earth for the rest of her life?
"Hey, Scott," Justin breathed, stepping into the waiting room. He was smiling. "The attendant is going to help us take Ophelia down to see the baby finally. She sent me to get you."
Scott was surprised. "Me?"
"Yeah. Ophelia says you still haven't seen him." He nodded towards the door. "C'mon."
Scott stood nervously. He rubbed his hands on his pants.
"You know what..." Scott fucking hated himself. "I just realized I have to get home."
Justin's face fell. "Really?"
"Yeah-Yeah. Just, uh..." He winced. "Tell her I'm really sorry."
"Yeah, sure, man."
Scott cleared his throat. "Sorry," he said, again.
He didn't know why he was acting like this.
All he wanted to do was see Ophelia.
But he still left.