°•○●Ten●○•°
hyunjin dressed himself in a warm sage parka and black hued pants before placing the helmet on his head. clicking it in place, he hopped onto his motorbike. it had been a while since he had taken his motorbike out. he just preferred to ride with felix in winters. but this morning felix was sleeping soundly and hyunjin didn't have the heart to stir him awake. so he decided to just drive his motorbike. besides, he kind of missed riding it.
after some struggles, he had whirred the engine back to life. he checked the fuel, noting to himself to fill it up. he pulled his phone out and stared at the address wooyoung had sent him. apparently, he didn't want to be picked from his house since their father had some business guests staying over. made sense though. charlotte's café.
"alright then." he stuffed his phone back inside his pocket and rode off. the early winter wind hit him harshly, managing to bite into his skin despite all the mighty layers of clothing. but hyunjin liked it. he enjoyed the prickly goosebumps that were printing across his skin, enjoyed the trickle of sweat feeling extra hot against the cold; hyunjin loved winters.
he fueled his motorbike before reaching the café. there weren't many people in there at this hour of the day. it wasn't even that early, though. parking his motorbike in the assigned place for two-wheelers, hyunjin got off and removed his helmet, adjusting the blue beanie he was wearing. he took a moment to tell himself that it was going to be okay. all he got to do was, control his anger and shut the fuck up when wooyoung talks.
hyunjin walked inside the café, feeling the immediate warmth that flooded in along with the smell of morning coffee and anything sweet. his eyes roamed around the room, searching for wooyoung. and there he sat, scrolling through his phone as he sipped on his latte. hyunjin walked closer, pulling a chair opposite to him. wooyoung looked at him upon the cringe of the chair, giving him a look as though he wasn't sure if he should smile or greet him a 'good morning'. so hyunjin decided to lead.
"hi." he said, a little glumly. he couldn't smile just like that though.
"hi." wooyoung replied, smiling. yeah, he was smiling. hyunjin gulped awkwardly, not knowing what to do. he just nodded before turning to order an americano and some banana macaroons. "so, what is it that you want to talk to me about?"
oh shit...
hyunjin stared at him, tongue tied. he knew he had to do this soon but didn't know right after exchanging a hi. what happened to 'how are you?' 'how is the weather?' and 'nice dress.'
"um." he just continued to stare at him, not knowing what to say. however, he was surprised to see wooyoung, waiting for him patiently. the more he stared at him, the more he felt...calm. it was weird at first but he could actually feel it: actually feel wooyoung's aura warming him up. "well, you know how felix is...yeah, him and i are going through a rough phase. he just wants—okay, let's not go there. he just made me—"
"look, you don't have to say it if you don't want to. and don't say something because felix made you to."
hyunjin stared at him, a little in silence. he took a moment before sighing, licking his lips as he leaned in his seat. "i'm sorry."
wooyoung blinked, a little taken aback. but after a while of staring at hyunjin, he smiled. hyunjin always hated that smile. always. but today it felt different. it felt like he smiled for himself not because he wanted something in return. but because he wanted hyunjin to see it.
"it's okay. it was not something new." wooyoung said, carelessly flinging his phone on his table.
"oh." hyunjin hiked out awkwardly as he looked down at his hands, ignoring his eyes.
"is there anything else you want to tell me?"
hyunjin lifted his head up. "um no." he said. "i guess."
the air was so awkward that hyunjin wanted to snatch the muffin from the table beside them and shove it down his throat.
"well, if that is it then i will leave." wooyoung said, standing up.
what? what the hell happened to hyunjin listening to wooyoung?
"wait" he snapped, grabbing his wrist. "fine fine. there is more. just stay."
wooyoung smiled at him before sitting back down. hyunjin awkwardly pulled his hand away from his, folding it against the table.
"i don't know if it makes sense but i think i will listen."
"listen to what?"
"to you." he looked at him. "i never did. i never listened to your side. but now i want to."
wooyoung looked surprised but a little happy. he did a bad job concealing that, though. for some reason, hyunjin's heart warmed the more he gazed at him. "did father really gave you so much shit?"
"mmm-hmm." wooyoung nodded, tucking his palms under his weight and rocking his body in his seat. the two of them chose to remain silent for a moment. meanwhile hyunjin's americano and macarons arrived. "you know, at times i envy the life you have."
"my life?" hyunjin's eyebrows shot up so quickly.
"yes." wooyoung said. "you had a sense of freedom that i didn't."
"how so?"
"because if father didn't treat you as his son, then he only treated me as his heir." wooyoung smiled, a little painfully. "i had to study what he wanted to. i had to meet up with the people he wanted to. i had to hang out with the friends he wanted to. i had to live like he wanted to. but you, he gave you the money and left you alone, letting you do whatever you want to do."
for the first time in hyunjin's life, he actually pitied wooyoung. it was indeed huge because he had thought that it was impossible. seungmin was right; if only he actually listened. he never acknowledged the fact if hyunjin was the son his father hid from the world, then wooyoung was the son his father forced into the world.
"are you still planning to cut ties with father?" wooyoung asked.
"yes."
"oh."
wooyoung dropped his head but hyunjin caught the flash of pain in them. he leaned forward.
"why does that concern you so much?" he asked, genuinely surprised. "is this because of my mom?"
"maybe." wooyoung gave a small shrug. "but i just..." he trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence. he stared at hyunjin, hoping he would catch on that, which obviously our homeboy didn't. "i guess i am just scared to lose both mom and you."
"why me?" that was the first thing that hit hyunjin despite the fact that he should be bothered by wooyoung calling areum his mom too. but for some reason, it didn't bother him. "if you truly wanted the best for me and my mom, you wouldn't mind us cutting ties off with father. i can't do this anymore. i really can't. every moment with father is just making it hard."
wooyoung stared at hyunjin without batting a single lash before letting out a huge breath he was holding.
"you're right." he said. "i guess it takes some time, but i'll learn to accept that."
"thank you."
there was a moment of silence. not awkward, though, just comfortable silence. hyunjin took this opportunity to gulp down a macaroon, even offering one for wooyoung. he then took a few sips of his americano. well, should he leave? i mean there was pretty much nothing more to talk about. so it wou—
"do you not have college today?" wooyoung asked.
"no, it's game day. almost the whole college will be there for the game this evening."
"well, are you going?"
"yeah. all my friends are going, so yeah."
wooyoung hummed. hyunjin smiled at his attempts to make small conversations. he cleared his throat before standing up.
"i'm glad we had this conversation. i'll be going now."
"bye."
hyunjin nodded with a small wave before walking out of the café. well, surprisingly, this was the very first decent conversation he had had with wooyoung and it went pretty good. he was proud of himself. now that this problem was getting better, it's about time hyunjin focused on getting back together with felix. yes, he was desperate and needy and clingy. but shut the fuck up. he missed felix. he knew felix wanted to give them some time and then make up. but after that kiss on the cheek last night, nothing mattered.
hyunjin just wanted felix back.
"okay, but why am i here again?" felix asked as he walked through the aisle of seats before finding his own, sitting down on it.
"well, i came to check out the hot jock guys. you came for whatever." jeongin replied as he licked on his vanilla ice-cream.
"but why am i here?!" felix whined, snatching jeongin's ice-cream and taking a big lick that drew out a huge slurp. jeongin glared at him. "why?!"
"it's either to steal my ice-cream or to get your ass whooped for it."
"don't be a pussy jeongin. go buy your own ice-cream."
"the fuck?! that's my ice-cream i bought with my hard earned money."
"bullshit. you don't work."
"and you literally work in an ice-cream parlor!"
"that's why i shouldn't buy ice-cream from different shops. employee policy."
"then bring your fucking ice-cream in a tupperware or something! leave mine the fuck alone!"
jeongin leaned over and snatched the ice-cream cone away from felix. it was surprising how the cone didn't break its own asscrack. felix just tsked under his breath with a roll of his eyes as he looked away. the entire college stadium cheered and roared as the game commenced.
"where is hanji and chan?" felix asked.
"chan is running late from his errands. and hanji is at lee know's doing god-knows-what." jeongin scrunched his nose in disgust. felix smirked.
"you got flashed, didn't you?"
"when i was drinking my sprite, man!" jeongin cried. felix wrapped an arm around his shoulder in a way to comfort him. "they were naked as a peeled banana. and i wheezed my sprite up my nose, you know."
"sounds painful."
"it was."
felix laughed as he rocked a dramatic jeongin who was pretending to cry. but then his face immediately turned normal as he went back clapping for the game. the transition of his face in split seconds had felix laughing. however, a series of cough made him clutch his chest when he saw hwang hyunjin walking to him with a small tray of nachos.
hyunjin smiled brightly as he sat beside felix. "hi." he said. "hey, jeongin." he greeted the boy beside him.
"hey, hyunjin." jeongin waved with a small smile. hyunjin smiled before turning to felix who was still a little awestruck.
"nachos?" hyunjin asked, his smile widening.
"what are you doing here?" felix snapped. he knew he was a little bitter and his words came out harsh with that tone. but after last night, felix would admit that he was very much embarrassed. of course it was cute and all but still, he was embarrassed. he didn't know why. perhaps because his friends were there.
"what? should i not come to watch a game?" he asked rhetorically with a small sassy shrug.
felix just stared at him before scoffing and averting his attention back to the game. he just had to ignore hyunjin. he should be fine.
"what is this? like football?" both hyunjin and jeongin whipped their heads so quick, making felix freeze for a quick second. what?
"the guy legit holds a baseball bat..." jeongin said, as though he had given up on humanity. felix pursed his lips. well, sports was never his cup of boba.
"oh ho," he mumbled under his breath before leaning in his seat, making himself appear even more tinier. he heard a fond chuckle from hyunjin that skipped his heart beat. fuck, this was hard.
the rest of the game continued while felix just contemplated his life. he was feeling so many things; overthinking so many things. he didn't know how but he never thought he could overthink so much in a place so loud for inner peace.
i guess it was one of those moments—you have this dump of thoughts in a swirl and you have no control over them. well, it was one of those moments for felix. he knew he should stop. but he couldn't. he was this close to pull hyunjin away and pour his heart out, get to everything he had wanted to say to him. he also wanted to sink in his seat and just whisper in jeongin's ears about how that one day they got so high and was expecting a genie from a woman's heel. he also wanted to just dance for woman by doja cat. he wanted to eat waffles.
yes. it was that day of the month for lee felix.
suddenly all his thoughts went in a poof when a series of light fell on him, making him blink a little. and his eyes widened when he saw himself on the big screen surrounded by a pink heart layout that had bright lip stick clip arts all over. did felix just get caught in the kiss cam?
and suddenly everyone was cheering for him. he looked to his sides between jeongin and hyunjin, gulping. there was no way he was kissing either.
"you are scaring me. turn your head away before i slap you." jeongin let out, a little creeped out from the way felix was staring at him.
"look, just suck it u—"
and before he could finish his sentence hyunjin tugged him closer, knocking the air out of felix. hyunjin kissed him. hyunjin fucking kissed him in front of the whole university and it appeared on the big ass screen. with all the fucked up feelings, everything was so overwhelming for felix. he couldn't handle the butterflies he got. and he was not a kiss in-front-of-everyone type of guy. it made him extremely nervous.
so when hyunjin pulled away with an oblivious smile, mind you, the raving crowd didn't help felix one bit. he looked so...genuine. and felix didn't have the heart to tell him that this was all too much to take. so he did the first thing that came to his mind:
run out of there like the coward he is.
"felix!"
felix ignored the multiple calls hyunjin voiced for him, not caring one bit about the people that looked at them weirdly. he walked faster, his hands shaking a little, his heart at the tip of his collar, fluttering madly.
"i said wait!" hyunjin yelled, running to catch up with him, grabbing his arm and turning him to face him. "what happened? did i do something wrong?"
"did you plan all this?"
hyunjin looked a little hesitant, looking away. so he did...
"how much did you pay for them to put the kiss cam on us?"
"does that matter?"
"yes!" felix snapped, his voice getting a little louder, his emotions all over the place. "you can't just find reasons to kiss me when i said i'm still mad at you! especially pay a lump-some for that reason!"
"felix, i seriously have no idea why you are even mad." hyunjin said, rather calmly, as though he was trying hard to hold himself together. "i just...i just wanted to do something nice, okay?"
"do you know how uncomfortable it was for me up there?!"
and that's how felix fucked up. right from the start, this one toxic trait always hit him in the worst: speaking loud in the public. hyunjin looked around to see a few people staring at them, utterly humiliated. he grabbed felix's arm and tugged him to an empty hallway, his face a little red.
"you really had to do that?" hyunjin spat. "seriously, felix, i get it. i fucked up, okay? i always do. but do you have to do that in public?"
"you kissed me in public!"
"i didn't know i had no right to kiss you in public as your fucking boyfriend!"
"hyunjin, it's not even about kissing me in public, oh my god." felix grabbed his head. "it's about you thinking that i'll jump right into your arms just because we kissed when we haven't even made up. you can't make up with everyone by kissing them!"
"but do you have to make me feel like i touched you in a way you are disgusted with?! do you know what that mere thought does to me?!"
"it's not about you kissing me that made me uncomfortable! it's about you using it as an excuse to make things right! that's not how yo—"
"but we never talk things out, felix!" hyunjin screamed, the tip of his ears turning red. "i'm not used to us talking things out or getting closures! we never do that and you know it!"
"then you got to learn to! you know we clearly needed space from each other. you know we needed time. you fucking know we needed to make sure we both think sane for once! you can't ju—"
"why do we need fucking space?! can we not just make up like we always have?! what will a simple kiss do? i kissed you because i fucking missed you. not because i wanted it to be a reason for us to get back together. not bec—"
and felix grabbed his collar and pulled him closer, kissing him and shutting him up. it was a quick kiss, rather roughly with no delicacy. but strong enough to catch hyunjin off guard. the two of them pulled away, hyunjin a little shaken up, still trying to process it.
"what were you saying?" felix asked, cocking a brow.
"um what? i...i was...wait, no...like...um—" hyunjin stammered, frowning as he stared at felix, trying to grasp what was going on.
"do you see what happened?" felix asked. "this is exactly my point. when you kiss me like that, i forget about everything. it makes no sense anymore. it suffocates me. you only leave me confused when you kiss me in a way i can't handle what i feel. you mess me up."
he took a step close to hyunjin.
"i need time to process this. i can't think properly when i'm feeling all these overwhelming emotions." he said. "so until we figure it out, i need some space to breathe."
TOTAL WORDS: 3190
Dedicated to that one cute person who interacted with me on curiouscat.
on a side note, arguments like this are very common. this is something close to me. i can relate so much to hyunlix. this is how i fight. and to see my characters live out a part of me is fascinating.