(A/N Thank you guys for the 1.5K !!! Keep reading :) Ily'all!!)
SAMANTHA
I was in deep sleep when my phone buzzed.
"Hello?"
"Who's this?"
"Excuse me, but you called, so who are you?"
"I am no one you know, but someone you know has met with an accident and I don't know who."
Accident? What the?
"Where is this?"
"Intersection near Yela Lane and Dracer Bridge.I think he's gone opposite in the one-way lane."
"Okay. I'll,.. I'll be there.Thank..," the line fell dead.
Who could meet an accident? Please please not Sapan. I cannot handle another disaster.
What if it's him? He has ICE contacts in his Duke, not Enfield.
Which bike has he taken? I rushed out to see a bike parked there which from the distance looked like a,..an Enfield.
It still can't be him. Why should he hurry when he was just visiting the dry cleaners?
"Sam?"
I startled and hoped it was Sapan. No.
"Yeah Roshan what are you doing here?"
"Sapan told me to look out for you while he's gone."
He's gone?
Where?
Tears streamed down my face as I sunk down to the floor.
Roshan came closer, "Sam what happened?"
I told him about the call.
"It wouldn't be him! He is an excellent driver. It must've been a prank."
"Can we please just go and see?"
"Okay."
~
We took an auto, and on the way, I was praying, leaving my atheism, for him, because I don't want to lose him!
Oh god, it shouldn't be him.
We were nearing the place, as I noticed people crowded around something,.-someone.
The crowd slowly parted and I stopped.
I stopped walking, stopped breathing.
~
Lay sprawled a lifeless body, smothered in thick blood, the bike, the number plate now reduced to TW N 14.
Sapan.
I pushed through the crowd and sat next to him, my hot tears falling on his soft, blood daubed cheeks.
"Sapan..Sapan please wake up. Baby I uhh I uh am uhh here. Plea...," I halted when I noticed the big picture.
His palm was open, and a ring was thrown a few inches away.
That engagement ring.
He was wearing the white tuxedo I gifted him. The, the, the one I wanted him to wear, when, uh, we we married?
The elegant white and black tux covered in deep gore scarlet. His hair was gelled back. That same smirk I fell for painted across his face, there was a pool of blood around.
He'd lost too much.
"Sam, come. The ambulance is here. Come on..."
"NO! NO! NO! I AM NOT LEAVING HIM!"
"SAMANTHA LISTEN TO ME!"
I knew Roshan was right. I couldn't handle it. I needed to go and come back after mentally preparing myself.
Roshan pulled me away and call me crazy, but I still found him to be beautiful.
His serene face, fit tux, his smirk.
Him.
I couldn't handle it, too much gore in one man. The horrid mix of white and red made me sick. I wanted to scream, tear myself apart for my everything is at stake.
Roshan pushed me into the auto, as I could see him laying on the hospital stretcher, so immobile, like laying in his coffin?
No, no no that wouldn't happen.
~
I threw myself on our bed, whilst Roshan had gone to the hospital.
The smell of his gel and sweat, a delectable, my favorite mix, making all this ache even more.
Was he going to propose?
The time was 6, and I could hear a voice talking. It was recorded, and was, was coming from the terrace? I rushed up the stairs as the voice, his voice spoke, "Samantha D'Souza, I am sorry for all the things I've done to hurt you, willingly or otherwise. Making amends for these is probably going to take me more than an eternity. Alas, I am not giving up on the chance, on you, on our love. So here goes.-" I reached the terrace, as the tap,..
Oh god.
The terrace was beautiful. It was lined with glimmering candles, and a big, clumsily hung banner which said, "I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away."and then in lowercase beneath that, "Yeah I tried okay? Now better marry me or else I'll bang you."
More tears brimmed in my eye, as I fell down to the floor and smacked my forehead. Of course, I would've said yes! Of course I would've wanted my entire life with him!
Hope.
There is a ray. He is still there. He will come back to me right?
~
I decided to tell this to Advika and I noticed that she and Sapan had talked sometime after I'd slept.
So Advika knew?
Me-Dude.
Advika-Brooo!!!!!!!! Congrats :D
Me-Dude, Sapan,,..
Advika-Oh I know I know!! You don't have to tell to me lol
Me-IT'S NOT THAT OKAY?
Advika-Calm down. What happened??
Me-Sapan., he...
Advika-He??
Me-Met with an accident.
Advika-What??? Sam don't play with me.
Me-THIS NOT SOMETHING THAT I'D PLAY WITH YOU ABOUT!
Advika-Did he...,?
Me-No. You knew it, didn't you?
Advika-Yes. He asked me. Shall I come over?
Me-No it's okay. I'll call you if I need anything.
Advika-Okay. Dude, he'll be fine. He is not going nowhere..
Me-Hopefully.
~
I decided to go and check on him.
Nearing his ward, I noticed his parents a d his mother wailing loudly. I went closer and well, old habits die hard. His mother started with her usual spewing of venom on me. I was too hurt and tired to fight back, so I let her talk this once.
~
His chest was falling up and down, slowly. Gauze was wrapped around his head, and I could see a little bit of blood on the side of his head from outside.
The doctor and nurses went in and inspected it after which the doctor said he wanted to talk to me, as the parents were really fragile.
You don't know my fragility beneath this strong facade.
SAPAN
I knew I wasn't dead for now. I could feel my hot breath in the oxygen mask over my mouth, the revolting odour of anaesthetics, drugs, and phenol. I had this strange feeling that my skull was cracked open with a rock. There was this clip kind of thing which I figured is pulse measuring thing fixed my thumb, connected to something else which I couldn't turn and see because well I couldn't.(Leave it at that. Thank you.)
My eyes slowly lifted up to bedimness and bright light blinding my vision. Near the door I could make out a blurry figure.
Samantha.
She came closer to me, and squeezed my hand, her eyes bloodshot from crying.
SAMANTHA
I bit my inner cheek to stop myself from crying after that conversation with the Doctor.
~
"Are you Samantha D'Souza?"
"Yes. Any major issues doctor?"
"Might be."
"What is it?"
~
"Hi" he breathed.
"Hey. You'll be fine. Just stay with me please."
"Hm. What...do(creak) I--?"
"You have nothing. You are fine. Just some blood loss."
"Tell (breathe) me..."
"You uh lost a lot of (pause) blood and you uhm have the rarest (creak) blood group so, uh.. They are still searching. And...."
"And..?"
"You(breathe) have uhm (swallow) an operation scheduled in about two minutes...,,-----"
The heartbeat monitor hit a flat line as a loud noise filled my ears. He was having a spasm oh no
"DOCTOR! DOCTOR HE'S CRASHING!"
~
"Paddles."
He used the gel on it for god knows what.
"Charging."
The surface came in contact with his chest wall, as his body threw itself up and fell down.
I didn't realize that my wails were getting really high. The decompression was done about 3 times and finally, finally he regained his breath, thereby restoring my life.
~
"Set up the room for the intervention. I'll sterilize and be there in 2."
I wasn't able to look at them digging into his brain. It was 9:30 in the night, and Roshan came in.
"Hey. Have you eaten anything?"
"No."
"I'll drop you by Advika's for dinner. Stay the night and come tomorrow morning."
"No."
"Samantha, don't be adamant. You need rest."
"No."
"Listen." He took a breathe. "You need to be well for him to be well okay? Come with me."
I know I know he is a cent percent right. I'll come back again.
I followed him in silence.
Roshan's POV
My hand instinctively went to my right pocket where I'd kept the ring.
Not there.
Oh yes. Now I remember. Sapan had acted out to me that he needed it. I'd given the blood smothered ring to him, his reason being the ring giving him the optimism he needed.
I wouldn't blame him, for all he wanted was to survive for her, himself, and them.
Samantha followed me in silence as we walked back to Advika's place.
SAMANTHA
The chilly winds of the 9th hour of the night were sending shivers down my spine. I was on Roshan's heel when this winds lifted me up, and took me back to the night of my birthday, a bittersweet birthday.
I was upset, we'd fought with silent glares and unspeakable words. But tonight, I was left alone, with nobody to bicker, with no manifestation to live, with the thrill in my life temporarily lost.
They must've been done with the digging of his brain now I guess.
~
It was 10 as Roshan bid goodbye and left me Advika's doorstep.
*tight, emotional hug at the door*
"Samantha. Are you okay?"
"Hmm." The hug was so tight and warm that it forced out all my emotions and I cried, cried my all out as her arm pulled me inside.
~
"Eat."
"No."
"Yes eat."
"No eat."
"Samantha. Eat."
"No I don't feel like it Adv. Quit trying."
"Don't think you're acting smart, stupid. He wants one thing from what I know. And that's you. If you are well, he'll automatically be just fine."
"That's not true. But he will stay around. For a long time."
"Don't act coy you tweeny little.., Look you know that, I know that, literally the whole world knows about y'all and your renowned love story. So just shut up and eat or die and let him suffer. Or better, I'll just spoon feed you."
"No no geez fine. You had to be so convincing. Fine." I scowled.
I ate this totally bland porridge, which honestly I would've thrown up without the berries and apple.
I got up to leave.
"Where do you think you're going at 11:40 in the night darling?" She mocked
"To the hospital. Where else?"
"Wouldn't it be closed?"
"24 hours genius." I spat at her ignorance.
"Ohhh. But not now Samantha. It's late."
"No, now."
"Can you listen to me for once for Christ's sake? Roshan is over there. You. Stay here."
"How do you know he's there?"
"Because, uh he texted me?"
"When did you get his number?"
"Oh it's not anything you think! He gave it so we could talk more about your proposal."
"Okaay? But I am still going. I need to see him please."
"Okay ugh. Shall I come?"
"No no. Do not tell Roshan"
"Yeah okay. Be careful please."
"Hm." I said and grabbed the copy of Romeo and Juliet.
~
The monochrome scarf he'd gotten for me, draped my neck, sweeping my face as I walked the lone roads of the city. The eerie silence of the night, crawling in the bats in the sky adding an air of melancholy. The rustle of the leaves, due to the faint winds, making you aghast. My sneakers squeaking as I proceed. My eyes going back and forth cautiously. That perpetual feeling of protection having Sapan beside me lost. Gone with the winds like ash.
~
I reached his ward, void of his parents. I tiptoed in, to find Sapan in deep sleep. It was dark in the room and I knocked something in the dark.
"Oops. Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up."
"No(pause) you didn..'t wake me (breathe) babe." His smile gleaming in the darkness.
I turned on the light and he hid his eyes, his head now a gauze wrapped mess. I went and sat next to him, his hand linked with mine.
SAPAN
Oh how I'd missed her. How my plans were ruined. I still don't know how I am so calm about this, while she is petrified.
Illuminati?
Nay.
She kissed the top of my forehead, her warm lips, softly brushing my skin, making me jittery as always.
My Allie. My Denise. My Clare. My Juliet. My Catherine. My Jane. My Hazel. My all.
I am possessive. Goddamn I need to be. In the worst of conditions do I realize how lucky I am to have her. Call me whatever, but I'll give in to anything, if she's beside me. I am crazy for her.
I didn't want to lose myself because then I'll lose her. I want her to scream at me, scold me for being so absent minded while driving and not sit next to me and bite her inner cheek to stop herself from crying.
"How are you feeling?"
"Infi..nite"
She sadly smiled and said "Good."
She took her place in the chair next to me and took out a book, Romeo and Juliet.
Oh.
"Go back to sleep. I'll stay here. With you."
"Read for.,-me"
"If you insist. " I smiled.
She quickly flipped through the pages, and started reading.
(Scene II-Capulet's Orchard)
Romeo -
She speaks: O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air.
Juliet- Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,And I'll no longer be a Capulet.
Romeo-Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?
Juliet-'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague?
it is nor hand, nor foot,Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man.
O, be some other name!
What's in a name?
that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection whic..,--
I watched her slow down, her eyes almost closed.
I smiled to myself, as she threw her head back and slept peacefully.
Wonderful sight.
Finally.
SAMANTHA
The sunlight danced in the air through the curtains of the room, and Sapan was sleeping.
The time was 6:47 and I went out for morning coffee. Oh I needed one.
~
I came back to find Sapan awake at 6:56.
"Morning."
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
"Hm. You?"
"Good."
He looked sick. Really sick. His eyes had dark circles despite his acclamation of sleeping well. His robustness, now vanished. His skin shrunken, his lips brittle and a blend of brownish-red. His hair was oily, and fallen over his face.
~
I walked closer and pushed the hair off his face, "You'll be okay. I love you Sapan"
SAPAN
"I love you too."
I did love her. Too much.
Isn't this the right moment for me to do it? I cannot die without doing it. I am not dying. I know that.
"Hey, I(breathe) wanna(pause) ask you.-"
Damnit Roshan. Thanks for entering at the wrong moment.
I had to do it alone, though Roshan is my brother, this had to be done alone.
~
"Sam go home and freshen up. It's 7:29 and the doctor will be here around half past 8."
"I can stay."
"Don't make me do it again. Go, shower and come back."
"Okay jeez."
Wonderful. Now he sent her home. Tomorrow, I suppose.
SAMANTHA
I went home, our home.
For the first time in almost a year and a half in this house, I am astounded by his selection.
His choice of furnishings and decor never fail to amaze me. It was all so perfect. Beautiful wooden floor, with beige couches, and then of course XBOX and PS4 connected to our television. The walls were also beige with creepers moving up. The kitchen was modular, and had creme bistre counters and cupboards. We had brilliant cutlery which we hardly use, as we end up ordering pizza. The way to our room was quite a passage I should say. It was different from the others. More vintage. It had chestnut teak floor, and the walls had embossed autumn leaves with my favorite quotes printed across the it haphazardly. The tiny library we owned, I should say was a war of seasonal changes. It had the ambience needed, and the walls were something unthinkable. It was a beautiful progression of green nature, to thunderstorm and rain, the blue tint mixed with yellow ochre of the autumn and then instead of coming back to spring, it changes. Changes into dark, lifeless grounds, wretched trees and stormy clouds. A war in the clouds between the black and green. There was a white space left next to it, which was yet to be painted. Darkness or Light? War or Peace? We decide.
Our room was nothing like the others, it had flames on the wall, like how we burn as one. The cot was brown sienna and the bathroom was different again.
It was icy blue, the coldness in our words and actions.
The drawing room was also excellent. It had an abstract mix of colors, that showed how confusing yet beautiful life can be.
The colors white and red stood out, making my stomach churn. I immediately walked to the kitchen to realize that the time was 7:42.
I took cereals in a bowl and lapsed into my thoughts again.
Our home was a complicated revelation. I say revelation, because every room, every furnish and decor has it's own mood that relates to our 7 years of life together. Every instance, every fight put out not in words, but colors is something isn't it?
My only fear now, this moment, is choosing between black and green.
Death or Life?
SAPAN
The time was 8:22? Samantha entered the room, looking uneasy.
Roshan whispered something in her ear, she nodded and walked out.
"Wher..e (huff) is she-"
"The Doc wanted to see her. About that intervention of yours."
"Oh."
~
She sneered in and pulled Roshan by his arm, the door shutting behind him. I moved my hand, knocking out the drips and making a hell lot of noise.
"Sapan! What are you doing?!" She wiped her face and screamed.
"No, I(huff) just.,"
"You don't have to do anything. Just stay still for heaven's sake!"
"Okay."
"Samantha(pause) what...-"
"Sapan please. Just sleep please. I'm begging you." She pleaded and walked out.
SAMANTHA
I cried into Roshan's shirt as he asked me, "Samantha what did Doc say?"
I moved away and shaked my head.
"Okay. Don't you have to tell his parents?"
"I'd have to. But I am not sure if I can explain it to them."
"Just tell him he has that and he's going to be fine."
"Yeah probably. Do I have a choice?"
He shook his head.
Nope.
32 hours.
"Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn’t even know
I wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to be will eventually be a memory of a time when...
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter"