[y/n] – your name
[e/c] – eye color
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You always wanted love... romantic love, because you were an incorrigible dreamer. In your ideal world there was reciprocity, sharing joy and warmth with the other person, a feeling of security, and giving your whole self to him and only him. However, you didn't think that all these hopes would be shattered like a soap bubble in the very near future.
And the words you were supposed to scream later, only brought one person to mind - him.
***
You were a rather average sixteen-year-old girl who was still discovering the world and looking for what you would like to do in your future. You spent your free time wandering around the city streets, not always the safe ones - you didn't always do what your parents would allow you to do. That's how you met him.
He was less than a year older than you, and he was already called the king of the street where he had many allies and friends. He could also masterfully use a revolver, which he always carried with him. From the very beginning, you had the feeling that it was defending more than his body and friends. You were right then - it also protected his heart.
You didn't know when and why something really started to change in you - whether from the conversations you two had in your company or from spending time together, walking around the city and visiting places, you had no idea about before. You trusted him immensely, so you weren't afraid of these journeys into the unknown. Because you were with him, you felt an unjustified feeling of security.
You wondered if he trusted you as much, as you him. What exactly does he think about you? Does he like you? Or is he doing it just to pass the time?
Your heart skipped a beat.
Those beautiful jade eyes that shone brighter in any serious discussion couldn't get out of your mind; what's even worse - they became more and more distinct in it.
Despite the doubts growing in your head, from the first meeting, you had the impression that you have known each other forever. From day to day this invisible bond was entwining your body and soul, your heart. More and more harder and harder. Only the mind was trying hard to contradict what seemed obvious back then. The thing that was about to be destroyed in a brutal and inhuman way.
Your heart belonged to him then.
***
Ash trusted you immeasurably, no one had such a doubt. The sweet, tiny girl wasn't weak at all - you had a big heart that wanted to protect your friends at all costs; you also had your interests, about which you liked to discuss with him and your mutual friends often. Everyone in Ash's and Shorter's group loved you for your cheerfulness, the smiles you gave them, and the honesty you never skimped on in life situations. You were like a tiny light that lit up the dark tunnels of the underworld.
That's what captivated him in you. He wanted to protect you, even at the cost of his life. You seemed so petite and fragile that it was as if you were about to disappear from before his eyes - like a small flower that is easy to trample on. A flower that dies quickly from lack of water and sun.
He didn't want to lose you. Not like this.
He knew he couldn't take it. You were someone special to him - his light, his hope, his refuge of peace and a friend with whom he talked about life's problems. You were even more than that.
That's why he decided to keep on distance.
He didn't want Dino's people to know about this acquaintance. He couldn't bear to lose you. He wanted to hide you, hide you from the outside world, so that you would never get hurt. He knew his heart didn't lie - he loved you like no one else in the world. He didn't think that ever a monster like him could love another person so much. It was beyond the logic of the mind.
***
It wasn't Ash who told you about his past, it was Shorter. As much as he liked and loved you like his little sister, just like Ash, he wanted to protect you from the danger. He quietly hoped that when you heard the whole truth about their lives, you would go away. If not, he will ask you to do so by himself. He will beg. He'll keep pleading until you give up.
But you didn't.
Even though he begged and asked you for it with tears in his eyes; even though Ash has turned away from you and has ended bond with you.
You didn't leave.
They didn't want anything to happen to you so much that they preferred you to hate them but go away and live happily.
***
You didn't leave because you could say the same about yourself. You didn't want to leave your friends so much when you finally found them in your life. You wanted to protect them, and if they wouldn't let you, at least support them. You didn't want so much to feel unnecessary. That feeling only increased the emptiness in your heart, and you didn't want it ever and never to come back. You could offer nothing to those who had everything, but you could offer everything to those who had nothing.
That's why you stayed with them despite their resistance.
They taught you to fight and you taught them to laugh. You were indispensable to each other, like the air... like a Yin and Yang, like the sun and rain that make the earth alive. You couldn't imagine that you could ever abandon them, and your heart sensed that they thought the same.
However, time hasn't been gracious to you.
You found yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Because you have witnessed something you shouldn't have seen, you have been doomed to escape out of breath and out of awareness. Even if your legs weren't obeying anymore and your lungs were giving their last breaths, it didn't matter to you, as you were still running ahead just to save your own life.
Behind you, you could still hear the rapid breaths and footsteps of men running behind you.
"Halt, damn it!! Stop, you bitch!!"
Screams and pistol shots were coming from all directions, and you felt like a hunted animal - in a trap from which it couldn't break free. Is this a dead end? Will this be your end here...? You didn't want to die... not now and not here...
Desperate, you looked in all directions, feeling that your strength was almost worn-out and your legs were refusing to obey.
But suddenly a light in the tunnel appeared.
Another street was not so far away from you. Without thinking, you ran in that direction, silently shouting for help.
Anyone. Please. Anyone please help me...
The light that was your long-awaited hope turned out to be a broken and dark lantern - that's where you got caught by several men at once. You didn't stand a chance against them - one tiny girl was like nothing to a group of beastly, big bastards. Your screams carried away, but were quickly forgotten by the wind. The darkness showed its face.
***
The house at the edge of town has never heard so much wailing and screaming, never seen so many tears. The walls echoed your screams for help, and the floor crackled from the horror your body was experiencing. At that moment, death seemed to be your true salvation... A place full of peace and security for which your soul was screaming so much.
You couldn't bear this pain anymore, this desecration your body, that dirt which was filling your interior more and more and even penetrating your heart. You felt as if you were dreaming the worst nightmare of your life... from which you wanted to be free as soon as possible.
Please... end this... Don't touch me... Don't anyone touch me anymore... Please... Please... I want to end this as soon as possible... Please...
The nightmare continued as your body, mind, heart and soul were dying in agony. You wanted an end so badly, but it stubbornly didn't come.
One last flash of awareness made your teeth tighten more and more on your tongue. You felt that salvation is near...
And suddenly, you saw his face.
His face, bathed in the light of the setting sun - he looked at the city at his feet. A strong wind blew, scattering his golden hair in all directions, and his eyes shone with emerald light. He turned to you and smiled reassuringly.
Ah... now I understand... What I'm experiencing now, you have experienced all your life...
Your teeth released your tongue, leaving the body alive.
If my sacrifice could create your freedom...
The nightmares, however, never had a happy ending. Darkness has come again with increased strength.
***
The snow fell fiercely, as if it wanted to wash away the blood of an innocent lamb and plunge it into an eternal, deep sleep. All the streets seemed empty, and the trees beside the buildings gradually were covered by the white, like an angel wings, eiderdown.
Your body twitched, showing the first sign of life. Then another.
You slowly opened your eyes.
The room and the whole house were immersed in total silence that seemed too unrealistic after all the hell you had experienced. You struggled to get out of bed, feeling the pain piercing your whole body, like a knife ripping through all your female organs. You put your bare feet on the cold floor and felt a cold shiver run down your spine.
This isn't the time and place to die.
You got out of bed and headed towards the door feeling your trembling legs; only the length of your hair and bruises strewn all over your body were your clothing. With your heart pounding, you pressed the handle and heard a soft creak...
This was the beginning of a miracle.
You carefully looked out into the corridor and explored the area. Making sure there was no living soul upstairs, you set out in search of the stairs leading to freedom.
You found it at the far end of a vast and richly decorated corridor. Without thinking for a long time, you started to go down. Your heart was beating so fast and loudly that you had the impression that its sound was carrying all over the house, disturbing the silence. You looked around anxiously, trying to calm the mind that was giving you the worst thoughts.
Once you were on the ground floor, you heard low-voice conversations somewhere not far away from you. You felt your heart leap into your throat in an instant.
I want to live... I can't stay here... I want to see you...
These thoughts pushed your legs into action. Slowly, as silently as you could, you began to approach the exit of the building, by which a small lamp with a lampshade was lit. The voices you had heard before, grew louder and louder - the men who had arranged you hell a few hours earlier were now laughing hard in one of the rooms nearby - smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol and saying disgusting things about you... but this didn't matter to you.
I want to see you...
You grabbed the first coat from the hanger you could get your hands on and hurriedly threw it over your chilled shoulders. You discovered with disgust that it carried the smell of cigarettes and men's sweat.
No. It didn't matter.
Before anyone knew what was going on, you opened the massive door and ran outside the building.
Your freedom brought icy cold, piercing gusts of wind and snowflakes stubbornly falling into your eyes, and shadows chasing you like wild beasts. In a few minutes that brought you the freedom you so longed for, for the house on the outskirts of the city it brought loud screams of maddened animals.
"Fuck!! That bitch ran away! Go chase her! Catch her!! Immediately!!"
You were running away, choking on following blasts of north wind, and your bare legs trudged, depending on where you were running, knee-deep and ankle-deep in the snow. Your feet felt no cold, however - the fear and rush that circulated in your veins warmed your body from the inside out.
Finally you found your way to a neighborhood you know... But at the same moment a black off-road car passed you and stopped nearby. Your torturers got out, carrying weapons and the will to murder.
"No more running without a chain, bitch!!"
One second.
Not even it passed by, and you were already in a crazy run ahead, hiding yourself behind the walls of other buildings and shouting only one name. Your heart only remembered one name.
"Ash!! Ash!! Help me!! Ash!!"
You were running and entering one and another abandoned buildings, desperately searching for help...
"Ash!!!"
...until you fell right into his arms. Shivering all over your body, you grabbed his jacket violently and in disbelief mixed with boundless fear and panic, you looked straight into his eyes.
"Ash!! Help me, please!" The condition you were in terrified him. Your eyes begged for help, bare feet and hands were bearing a stigma of bruises... and gunshots outside were saying a lot. His right hand turned for the revolver.
"What happened?"
"I'm being chased by some men who want to kill me!"
At the same moment, Shorter ran up to you two along with the people of his group.
"Ash! On the outside are... [y/n]!" He looked in horror at your petite figure, dressed only in an old male coat.
"Shorter, get the people together and let's go." Ash spoke to him with a serious expression and loaded the clip in his revolver. "Any lost mongrels won't be running on my area, ah..." He looked at you with a twinge in his heart. "Some of you lead [y/n] out of there and lead her to our safest hideout. You're supposed to protect her, even at the cost of your life, understand?!"
There was no need for him to say that last sentence. After all, you were a friend to all of them. It was obvious that they will protect you at all costs! One of Shorter's men grabbed your hand and the whole group of you ran out the back door of the building.
***
They didn't ask about anything. The signs you wore on you said enough. That much, that tears streamed into their eyes continuously and choked their throats. How could they not have known what situation you found yourself in? How could they not come to your rescue earlier?!
They couldn't accept it.
You were most afraid of meeting Ash again. What will he say? Will he be angry, furious, or maybe disappointed? No... he will definitely be disgusted. You are dirty, you are tainted with impurity... an impurity that cannot be washed away by any water or man-made soap. So what if he went through the same thing before? You felt despicably. He saved you. You aren't worthy to have a permission to touch him. Are you sure you made the right decision, to live?
***
Dressed in an oversized T-shirt and baggy sweatpants, you waited for Shorter and Ash to return... because what else have left to you? Do you have enough words to apologize to them? It's because of you that they went to the battlefield again, it was because of you that their lives were in danger again...
"Boss, you're back! How did it go?" More voices began to come from the corridor, and your heart started to beat faster.
"Mission completed successfully. None of the opponents survived, and we only have three wounded people."
Like an arrow launched from a bow, you ran into the second room, coming face to face with your friends. Your eyes noticed one thing - one person was missing.
Him.
"Shorter, where's Ash?" Skipper asked, slightly concerned. Shorter noticed your silhouette standing nearby and shook his head.
"I don't know where he went." He explained.
You felt that you wanted to cry again. Ash was disappointed in you and disgusted with your presence, you felt it for sure now. More tears began to roll down your cheeks.
Drip. Drip.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." You didn't know what else to say. Your mind couldn't find another word than 'I'm sorry', which was being said over and over again...
The guys, seeing your emotional state, started sniveling for good. Shorter walked over to you and hugged you tightly.
"How glad I'm to have you come back alive..." He whispered with trembling voice, feeling unspeakable relief.
***
Ash didn't come back in the next few hours of the night. He felt a real sense of guilt. All of this... All of this shouldn't have happened. Not to you. Though he had the power, strength, and skills with weapons, he didn't save you in your worst nightmare. He bit his lower lip to the blood, feeling growing frustration and despair inside of him.
He was walking like this almost all night in the deserted streets of the town, being covered up in steadily falling white fluff. Instead of cold, he felt guilt, instead of snowflakes on his head - a heavy stone crushing his heart.
In no better condition, he returned to the hideout in the city.
***
There he met you.
You two stood motionless on either side of the vast room, looking at each other in terrifying silence.
You had dark circles and red eyes after a sleepless night and so many shedded tears, and he looked no better. Frost and snow reddened his cheeks, nose and hands, and the experienced emotions obscured the glow of his eyes... those beautiful, jade eyes. This sight broke your heart even more.
"Ash..." Whispered your dry lips. You also felt that your legs refuse to obey you at that moment and you fell to the floor "I'm sorry... I'm sorry...!" You kept repeating, bursting into the tears again. How glad you were that he came back safe... How much you couldn't look him in the eyes after all of this...
"What are you... sorry for?" Not understanding why you were saying this, he walked over to you, knelt down and grabbed your shoulders, then looked at your teary face. You weren't to blame for anything... it was him... it was him who failed to protect you! It was you who needed an apology from him! "What are you apologizing for?!" He shouted, feeling the despair spreading throughout his whole body.
"I... I wanted..." You started, sobbing louder and louder "I wanted to do it for the first time with the one I love... I wanted to give all of myself to the one I really love..." Your sobs turned to lament, and Ash felt his throat choke.
"It's not your fault... You know well that it's not your fault!" He shouted, feeling pain in his heart, but...
"I wanted... I wanted you to be my first one..." This words made him stunned. "I'm sorry... I feel so dirty... I'm sorry... Ash..." Without much thought, he moved closer to you and hugged you. It made need in you, on the one side, to break away from him, and on the other, to stay like that in his arms forever "Ash, let go of me! Please! Ash! Don't touch me... I'm dirty and unclean! Ash!"
"You're beautiful." He said without hesitation, then hugged you even tighter.
"A... Ash...?"
You were so shocked by the words you heard just a moment ago, that you froze in a place with your eyes wide open and tears still flowing.
With a sudden flick of your arms, you pushed him away and stared at his face in disbelief.
Ash Lynx... That blonde-haired demon who was the leader of the most dangerous gang in the town and his very name made fear on the streets, smiled at you with eyes blurry with tears.
"You're beautiful to me."
This broke the last thread in you and you started to cry even more desperately than a moment ago. He rested his head on your shoulder and hugged you tightly to him, feeling an incredible warmth inside of him. Never ever before had anyone so honestly confessed his feelings to him, no one had ever cried so desperately in his arms as you did at that moment. He wanted to take revenge on everyone who caused you pain and then kiss out all your tears and bad memories. He wrapped his arms around you even tighter, feeling the warmth of your bodies flowing through you two.
"Don't be afraid, I'll protect you from now on. I will protect you forever" Crying, by the trembling arms you embraced him and clenched your hands on his shirt, on his back. Your crying turned to loud sobs.
"I-It's me... It's me... who should protect you..." He didn't understand what you meant "Ash, I..." You sobbed once again, releasing your true feelings at the next moment "I want... I want to protect your heart from today on..." You moved even closer to him "And I promise I'll protect it..."
Why were you so weak? Why were you so weak that you couldn't protect those who you cared about the most...?
But you will protect him... even if you don't have physical strength, you will protect his heart, which since his childhood has been hurt, used and destroyed by the soulless tentacles of those who wanted to plunge him into endless pain, despair and darkness. Even if your hands aren't big enough to protect him or yourself, one thing you knew for sure - you won't let anyone else hurt his heart or his soul again. You will protect the one your heart loves.
You calmed down, and your sobbing and wailing turned into a slight sob that still shook your body. You gently freed yourself from his arms and looked him straight in the eyes. He was kneeling, bending over you, looking into your [e/c] eyes, from which tears were still pouring out, but you could see some made decision in them.
You smiled slightly at him.
"Ash... I'm gonna to save your heart. I won't let anyone else hurt that lovely, warm person who still lives inside... still inside of you."
The warmth he had felt before poured out throughout his whole body. He felt himself lean towards you as you were moving closer to him as well, gripping his shirt even tighter. You sank into a kiss - sweet, innocent, delicate as a feather... but then it became more and more hot and passionate, drowning you in each other, transmitting all the feelings that hadn't been confessed so far, all the emotions that pulsed in your veins in this very moment. Without words, you two already knew what the other person was feeling. This moment, although for others it may have last only for a few minutes, you two felt as if you were in a completely different world, in a different dimension, for many, many years. Or maybe even for eternity...?
It wasn't eternity, however.
After a while, your lips broke streak of kisses, and your eyes met again halfway along their way.
"I love you." His mouth blurted out, surprising him. He hadn't thought, until now, that he would ever love someone so strongly... And now he has met you. His doubts were unnecessary - the next words uttered a moment later dispelled them completely.
"It's me... it's me who wanted to say it first. I love you, Ash" You said, cuddling up to him and he hugged you back, feeling the warmth of your body again and whispering in your ear:
"I love you... I love you, [y/n]." At that moment you felt a tied oath, by the sound of his beating heart, which you felt right next to you, and which made a promise of sweet love, with his each following breath.
END
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It was mentioned in the series that Ash had a girlfriend before. I imagine them something like this, so basically in this fanfic you are Ash's first love. It is also mentioned in the series that his girlfriend was killed. I think my fanfic shows the beginning of their relationship; then when we have an ending of the original series, Ash can meet our sweet, little Reader-chan in afterlife. Don't you think, this is a romantic conception?
After finishing the series so about 2-3 months ago, I almost desperately needed an happy end for my own broken heart (masterpiece ending but still... I was crying so hard ;n;). It's why my story was born.
I hope you enjoyed my short story! Visit my fanpage and subscribe me, for my future works! (www.facebook.com/groups/mikoukayu) and (www.facebook.com/MikouKayu). I'm after covid vaccination, so big hug for you! Have a good day&night!