Before you dive in, a big thank you for everyone who waited patiently for this upload! <3
It's a long chapter and I decided to write something wholesome and something in direction of character development ig?
haha
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Before I went into the room which we all shared to sleep, I decided to take a walk since I wasn't particularity keen about the thought of having to talk to Aang right now.
I'm not mad at him. I at least I try not to, since I know it was an accident and also.. I know that it's my fault. No one else can be blamed.
If I wouldn't have meddled into the plot in the first place, it wouldn't have happened like that.
A lot of things are currently running thru my mind.
I'm nothing but impulsive. Playing god and ironically even a bad one. Making situations just worse, not any better. I've told myself, I would change the outcome of Azulas life.. but I know she would despise me for the decision I made in her name so far.
„GOD DAMN what a load of crap"
I huffed defeated and overstrained as I plumped down with my knees on the ground, running my fingers thru my hair.
„You know, sometimes you say the strangest things, which I've never heard of before"
The figure of Sokka said, that's coming right towards me
„it's a fire nation slang."
I made up, trying my best to sound convincing
„What's wrong? You're behaving a little different"
He tilted his head and crouched down right in front of me
„Nothing I'm fine, just tired"
I answered avoiding his gaze and faking a small yawn
For a few seconds he looked absolutely wordless and concentrated in my face, studying every feature and every little expression thoughtful, until he muttered:
„Why are you lying?"
Fairly caught of guard I widened my eyes in shock, looking back at the suddenly empathetic boy who's behaving completely out of character.
„You are normally always slow in everything, so how come you knew I was lying?"
I asked him after I composed myself, starring at him with narrowed eyes
Sokka suddenly had a big almost enchanting smile on his face as he proudly pointed at himself: „SEE! I knew you were lying, so now tell me!"
I had to suppress my laughter as he seemingly completely faded out the fact, that I just called him "slow".
„Im not lying... you know.. So much is going on, honestly I'm just tired and exhausted of everything"
I decided to open up, and gave him a faint smile while turning my gaze to the moon and stars on the dark and wide horizon.
„So Katara told you."
The boy said calmly and in the corner of my eyes I could see him sitting down next to me with his gaze joining mine: to the black heaven above us.
„Yes. She did."
Were the last few words i could spit out, before i felt tears yet again gathering in my eyes, turning my sight all blurry.
„Don't be too anxious. I speak of my own experience, when I say that you guys from the fire nation aren't that easy to kill. He most likely was just knocked out.."
He said in a thoughtful tone but unable to hide his deep seeded hatred entirely.
„Yeah."
I answered rather short while resting my head in my knees and closing my teary eyes.
„I don't know you that long nor well.. but
looking this weak just somehow doesn't suit you"
He spoke in a warm and gentle tone, trying to comfort me
I let his soft spoken words sink in for a few minutes before I straightened up my head, that was resting in my knees and turned my eyes at Sokka:
„Thank you. I really appreciate your words"
The boy quickly avoided my gaze and in the dark moonlight I could see his face turning in a hint of red until he cleared his throat:
„Are you.. Are you.. mad at Aang?"
He now said in a careful manner trying to be as sensitive as possible.
„Hmm. No actually I'm not. This situation sure is conflicting for me, but at the end of the day it wouldn't have happened if I didn't meddle ya know."
I answered him quietly, tracing with my fingers over the bandage of my wound while remembering the pulsating sensation of the lighting again which made me twitch slightly.
„So.. do you regret standing up against your brother?"
„I never stood up against him."
I said turning my gaze up to the moon again and pausing for a short moment, before I continued:
„I stood up against the fire nation and it's barbaric disgustingly behavior."
I ended my words with a heavy breathing.
„I see. You are a strong person Azula."
He said in a serious tone while giving me a light nudge against my shoulder.
„I-
„THERE YOU ARE!
I was looking for you!"
The lively voice of Aang interrupted me
„Ohh heeey"
I tried to sound as normal as possible but couldn't help but let my words out rather awkwardly.
Aang being the main character that he is, he sensed that something was off almost immediately while suspiciously bending down to me and Sokka:
„You look sad! Is everything okay?"
He spoke with his face so near to mine, that I could feel is breath on my skin and with his goofy facial expression that one can't help but soften under.
„Well no. Ha-ha I'm not. I'm just tired"
I answered him and apparently convincing since he backed up and started to laugh:
„I understand why! So much happened the last few days, all your chakra must be completely messy"
He now said in an excited manner while throwing his hands behind his head.
"Chakra? Did I land in some Avatar-Naruto crossover universe or something?"
I thought, and couldn't help but gaze at the boy in suspicion and curiosity
„You see, back in the air temple we mediated many times a day, for a clear mind and also body that helps our internal energy."
Before I could even protest, the Avatar dragged me from the ground, hold on to my hand and started to run.
Ignoring all my questions and complains skillfully.
Even Sokka was just being left behind, I could hear a few yells from him but even those did Aang simply brushed aside.
We arrived back at the room the Kiyoshi warrior gave us.
„Aang what?!"
I huffed out of breath as he halted in front of my futon
„You go to sleep now.
Tomorrow morning we will mediate."
He said in a stern but dorky voice, pushing me softly down to my futon.
„You need to rest."
He now announced and tucked me in the bedcovers.
„Aang I-
„Nope. Good night"
Despite not wanting to be treated like some little kid, especially from another even bold headed kid, I couldn't help myself but feel my body almost drowning in relaxation. My muscles started to untighten and even my eyes closed of ones accord. The silent in the room was pleasing with only the noises of the wind auditable, that wiggled it's way into the room thru the modern walls and almost felt like a lullaby to my ears.
"Well it's actually not that bad..."
-
„WAKEY WAKEYYYYY"
I heard the singing voice of Aang warbling while tapping in an annoying Rhythmus against my forehead. Over. And. Over. Again
„You are tired of your life. Is that it?"
I growled while I rubbed my eyes to adjust better to the brightness that filled the room.
„Noooo but we are busy today, so come stand up Azuuulaaaa pleaseeee"
I could see his figure thru my still blurry eyes jumping up and down next to my futon
„Aang! That's not how you wake someone up!"
The soft voice of Katara told him off in a whisper-yell before she kneeled down next to my futon and spoke:
„Heey.. Good morning Azula. I have brought you a tea."
"A tea huh?"
For a second I had to gulp at her statement, but hid it in a big yawn.
I sat up and gave her a faint smile;
„Good Morning.. and thanks Katara"
„You welcome.. also.. since the people from Kiyoshi now know who you are.. I laid down your clothes over there. I cleaned them.. and also stitched the hole on the shoulder part.. uhm it's not perfect but-
I didn't let her finish and promptly jumped at her. I thankfully threw my hands around her neck, pulling her in a tight hug.
„THANK YOU!"
I shrilled and took a look at my clothes.
Like seriously no offense or something but the blue northern water tribe clothes just didn't suit me at all. There simply is nothing that looks better on be than the color red. Periodt.
In amazement I look down on the clothes that I have now in my hands:
"Daaamn Katara surely did a great job,it almost looks like it has to look that way, crazyyy"
„HURRY HURRY"
Aang now shouted while riding on a wind ball.
WHICH IS SUPER ANNOYING, SINCE THE WIND IS WHIRLING OF ALL THE DUST.
Just as I wanted to hiss at the hyperactive boy, Katara grabbed him on his shoulders and pushed him with a loud bang out of the room.
„Soo.. I will also wait outside. See you later"
Before I let her leave, I ran towards her and hold on to her wrist:
„Katara I'm really sorry about yesterday I just needed my space. No hard feelings.. and also.. thanks."
I uttered shyly with my gaze turned to the ground.
For a second the room fell completely silent and I hesitantly brought my head up to get a hash glance of her facial expressions:
"Are those... tears?!"
Completely stunned I could only watch at her reaction questionably.
„I'm really glad."
She suddenly said with a big smile forming and teary eyes, until she continued:
„I really thought you would hate us now. Or hate me. I was so afraid that telling you that was the wrong decision."
She let out a loud sob and I could tell that a heavy weight just fell down from her heart.
"Maaan they sure are all full of emotions here.."
I'm not good with emotions or showing them. I may have a great sense for them, being an unfortunately pretty empathetic ".. but I rather not let other people know, since that makes me feel super uncomfortable and awkward, especially when people cry:
„Uhhhm.. well..
-
"WHEN ARE YOU READYYYYY"
The annoying but now really convenient voice of Aang barged in.
"Thank you fucking much, Hawaii-shirt god!"
I prayed in my head relieved
I let go of her wrist, cleared my throat and smiled at Katara:
„I should get dressed now, before the whole house gonna get blown away by him"
„Yes!"
She answered in now good spirits before leaving our room while humming some sort of melody.
-
After I put on my clothes and changed the bandage around my shoulder, I promptly went looking for Aang, which didn't take really long, since he were all jittery waiting for me right behind the house.
„Hurry, hurry"
„Yes, yes"
I rolled my tired eyes
As we arrived at some big grassland on top of a hill with the lake where I just sat down yesterday night, I took a glimpse at Aang who only peaceful stood beside me.
His eyes closed, his arms stretched forward and his breathing steady.
The boy that was so jittery and restless just a few seconds ago, seems to be now all tranquil.
I copied his stance, but couldn't help but feel out of place.
(Found this pic on Pinterest.. like isn't it absolutely wholesome???? Pllllls <3)
Of course I did mediate in my old life.
Well I at least tried to because that was an obligation I had to do before my karate lessons.
But I never quite understood it.
I was always restless, my thoughts running wild and I would never feel at ease. I'm a person who likes movement, that is what gives me peace. But mediation?
-
„You know Azula, you are going to stare a hole into me"
I was startled for a few seconds by his soft spoken words since I didn't understood how he was able to feel my eyes on him.
„It's just nonsense Aang! I don't like mediation it's just not for me!"
I complained while I let out a deep breath in frustration.
The Avatar wasn't faced by my complain and didn't move an inch. With his eyes still closed he said:
„There are a lot things on your mind. You can distract yourself and they will go temporarily.. however things will always catch up to you one day, and the only way to find peace of mind is having control over your thoughts and emotions"
"He's not supposed to be this mature... where did those words came from now?!"
„That does not sound like you at all!"
I only answered him with narrowed and skeptical eyes
„Well ha-ha. They are not mine. They are from Gyatso. Back then at the air temple.. I hated mediation too.
But he taught me how important it actually is."
He now said while he slowly opened his eyes, before he added:
„Sit down."
After I let his words sink in I obediently choose to sit down without any hesitation.
The moment I sat down, he rested his hands gently against my back.
„You have a lot of energy running wild in you. If you learn to control your emotions, you will be super strong one day!"
He said with a touch of amazement in his voice
"Controlling my emotions? Why do people keep telling me that... geeez"
I thought while I rolled my eyes slightly
„Close your eyes."
He said, and I again did what I was told.
For a few more minutes he kept giving me instructions which I all followed neatly.
The last instruction he gave me, was to visualize a random thought.
I firstly thought that this is stupid since I didn't understood what and how he meant that,
But that is before I was standing beside Aang.
And my body?
Yes my body sitting on the green grass in mediation pose.
Looking down at me in shock, I saw that my figure now was transparent.
And a better look on my surroundings who are tinged in a dark violet color hinted me, that this was not my real body or the real world.
Before I was able to enjoy the feeling of my light feeling body, that is able to float like a leaf in the wind, everything started to become distorted.
I had no time to panic as I was now suddenly floating in the garden of the fire Nations Palast.
In front of me I could see two children running around, letting out happy shrieks.
Those two children were no other than me and Zuko.
"Wooow those are good old memories I guess.."
I thought before everything distorted it self again.
It continued like that for what felt like hours and hours. Memories where shown to me that I even already forgot about.
A mixed feeling of happiness and also sadness was collecting itself in my throat.
And finally I arrived at my last memory: the night on the ship where i saw Zuko the last time.
Tears were running down my cheeks, as I watched the scene playing in front of me.
But those were tears of pain and also relief.
There were no tears of doubt or regret.
Everything I've seen until now, only confirmed to me, that I would do every little decision I had made so far just the same.
My emotions maybe directed me to do so in the heat of the moment, but those were the right things to do.
This is my life now. I know that a lot of things need to take place, just like in the original plot, but I also know that the children series I used to love seeing on TV, was nothing like the real world I am in now.
Here is war.
People are dying.
People are being robbed, not only of their belongings but also their humanity.
It's a battle.
And I will fight for the right side.
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It took me sooo long to write this, not only because I was sick but also because I didn't knew what to do. Like call it writers blockade ?
It's a semi filler chapter. Like semi because I felt like I needed to get a bit deeper into her feelings and relationships with the main characters.
Drama happening soon also so no worries lol
Drink your water and stay healthy y'all! <3