"What?", my dad arches a brow.
Everyone stared at me in confusion.
"I just.. got a scholarship to attend the famous private boarding school!", i jump out of my seat in excitement.
Khalid looks at me in disbelief,"You mean The St Vincent Francoise?". I nodded with a wide grin on my face and handed him the letter.
"I can't believe you got in..", he uttered while carefully reading it.
"Okay wait a second, is this the school where Michael Murphy graduated?". Ummi asks with anticipation.
"Even better", i smile.
"His dad".
She stares at me wide eyed like just had a stroke. "Subhanallah..", she mutters under her breath.
Yusuf cuts in with a frown on his face.
"You sure they sent it to the right address? Maybe there's another Aiyla Yasir waiting for her gold letter that somehow got sent to this idiot".
I should feel like choking him but i don't, not when i got this pot of precious gold in my hands.
"Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah!", ummi rushes over to give me a hug. "I'm so proud of you my darling".
I pulled her in, adrenaline rushing, tummy tingling. I feel like i could conquer the world. "I seriously can't believe i got in".
"Okay, okay i have to tell your grandparents. I'm sure they don't want to miss out on this incredible news", ummi jumped in excitement as she searches for her phone.
I just rolled my eyes with a chuckle, knowing she's going to call every living person we know.
"There is no need for that honey", Dad states in a stiff tone.
We stopped and looked at him, confusion skating across our expressions. He takes a sip of water and slowly place the glass down.
With confusing eyes, i ask him,"Why not?".
His gaze meets mine. They were cold and stern. "Because you won't be transferring schools", he said without an ounce of warmth in his tone.
It felt like there's a pit in my stomach.
What?
I ball my hands into fists. "What do you mean?".
"There is no way i am sending you to France all alone", he spoke with such ease. And it only fueld my anger. "I won't be alone. It's a school. There are other students", i state the obvious through clenched teeth.
"You're not ready".
"But-".
"No". He growls, his patience running thin, it made me flinch.
My pulse quickens it's pace, my nails digging into my palms. I feel myself boiling with frustration."How would you know when you've been trapping me here for years", my tone is sliced with venom as i look at him in contempt.
The room is filled with awkward silence. And my mood to eat quickly vanished. It doesn't happen a lot.
I push the chair away.
And storm out of the dining room, heading towards my room upstairs.
And obviously I wouldn't dare to slam my door unless I have a death wish.
But you know what?
Who gives a crap?
BANG
I do.
Sorry as much as i am mad with him, i still value my life more, so i just did all the door slamming in my head.
___________
Listening to Claire De L'une in my headphones is calming in a way.
I like listening to instrumental music especially piano. My playlist is full of Beethoven, Yiruma and such. The list goes on.
I feel like a weigh is being placed on top of my shoulders.
Honestly, I hate it when i argue with my dad. Because he's the only person in the house that understands me. Although we don't really have a special father-daughter kinda relationship, i really don't want to upset him.
What frustrates me most is that he knew how much i want this. He knew I've been waiting for an opportunity.
An escape.
And yet he sits there, with firm eyes. Reminding me once again, who's house I'm living in. Who's rules i need to follow.
And i was never a rule breaker, no. I never dared to. Not when i knew how terrifying he can be if i cross the line.
That's what made me so different from my brothers.
I was the perfect daughter.
Who helps around the house.
Who studies without being asked to.
Who stayed away from boys on her own accord.
Who take cares of herself.
Who never asked for help.
Maybe you're wrong.
Maybe in dad's eyes, you will never be perfect.
Thoughts clouded my mind.
Because you took away the one perfect daughter he had.
My breath hitched and i shut my eyes close. The sound of my own heartbeat as loud as a thunder.
I try focusing on the soothing sound of piano. Hearing to it's melody. It's one of the ways i do to ease my mind, my heart. I flutter my eyes open for a moment. Staring at the night light beside me. Then slowly, i start falling into a deep, dark abyss
______________
"What are you watching?", Hassan came up to me running, with a robot toy in his hands."Nothing, just a tv show ", I continue to devour my cookies and cream flavoured ice cream.
It's Sunday evening and I got no other plans other than basking in sweets and watching Friends, my favorite sitcom show.
I never get out of the house on a Sunday even though my parents literally begged me to go out.
"Can I have taste? ", Hassan was looking intently at the bucket of ice cream I'm holding. I ponder for a moment, but then a devilish grin crawled up my lip,
" Hmm.. ok ".
His eyes immediately light up.
"Tut, tut, tut". I grin.
Not so fast buddy.
"I'll share this with you if you can get me the apple juice carton in the fridge in only ten seconds, starting now!", i told him and he jumps to his feet in surprise.
"Ten, nine, eight, seven..".
I laughed looking at him getting all flustered running to the kitchen with his small, chubby legs.
"..three, two, one!", He arrives hugging the carton and breathless, but unfortunately he's a second late.
"Sorry dude, you lost ", I take the carton from his hands and quench my thirst while watching him helpless and almost in tears.
Muahahahaha.
Relax I'm not that evil.
"Here. You can finish it", I hand him the tub of ice cream
Hassan sat beside me excitingly took a spoonful and gobbled everything in a split second."Ok, now I'm sure that we're related ", I chuckled.
"Were you and dad fighting last night ", he asks, being curious as the kid that he is."Kinda..", I shrugged it off. I don't want to ruin my perfectly fine Sunday by remembering what happened.
"Why did you guys fight?", this time he looked at me straight in the eyes, while eating another spoon.
I sigh,"We have something we don't agree on.. It's just a bunch of adult stuff so don't worry about it okay?".
"But you're not an adult". He frowns.
"I'm almost".
"Still, you're not". He shakes his head and i glare at him. "What are you trying to say?".
"Maybe because dad knows you're not an adult, that's why he thinks it's his job to take care of you". He continues. "And he knows that you need him too".
"..don't you..?", he asks.
"Ofcourse i need him.. but i can take care of myself. I'm not a baby". I groan.
"Them go tell him that". He states.
"What?".
"Tell him that you're big enough and that you're not a baby". He licks the spoon clean. "Tried, doesn't work", i roll my eyes.
He sighs. "That's because you tried telling him while making a tantrum like Safeeya". "Makes you look like a baby who's asking for a job".
I stare at him, bewildered.
Is this.. my brother?
"Have you been watching Oprah again?". I frown and his face instantly burns red with embarrassment.
"Did not!", he ran away before i could interrogate further.
But somehow, his words kinda make some sense and it made my thoughts pause for a moment.
"Well..", i cross my arms.
Wouldn't hurt to try?
_______________
I walk back and forth infront of the door. Feeling anxious, thinking if this is a good idea or a terrible one.
Dad came home a while ago and is currently in his study. I can hear him on his phone with someone, probably talking about work stuff.
"That's a problem.. ", he presses the bridge of his nose.
Why does he look so stressed out?
He sat down on his seat,"I can't take that kind of risk.. Not when it comes to her".
Who's he talking about?
As i lean closer to hear, i could almost listen to the person from the end of the line talking something, but i couldn't grasp what it was.
But there was one thing i knew for sure.
It's a woman's voice.
Suddenly dad's face shifted into anger, his brows furrowed, his jaw tightens, his teeth clenches. "If he as much as lay a finger on my-".
*Creak
Shoot.
I accidentally leaned in a little too much.
"I'll call you later", he hangs up and i hear his footsteps heading towards the door.
Shit- shoot-
I look around not knowing which way to run. But it was too late because the door already swung open.
"Aiyla?".
My face turns to meet his confused eyes.
A sheepish grin crawled up my lips.
"Dad, can we talk?".
He takes a moment of contemplation but then nods,"Sure, come in". I walk inside and close the door behind me.
"What is it love?", he sat back in his chair.
I open and shut my mouth, like an idiot. The words seems to be stuck down my throat.
This is your chance.
Take it.
"I'm sorry about storming off last night..". I apolagize with my head down, too embarrassed to meet his gaze.
It was rude.
Very rude.
I shouldn't have done that.
"If you think.. that it's best that i stay then..". The words were too heavy to say, my breath hitched. "..i will..".
Who was i even kidding..
France?
Me?
It's like wanting to go to space.
A wishful thinking.
"Aiyla, look at me dear..", his tone softens. And i raise my head to meet his, warm, affectionate gaze. "Everything, every working nights and every demands of mine is for you and our family. It's what i prioritise more than anything. Because i love you and i really want the best for you, is why i made the decision that i did".
"You are my daughter. And losing you is something i don't think i could bear..", He told me the truth, his hands slight shake and his eyes are red.
"Dad..", my voice a low whisper, i was restraining the urge to cry too.
"I know i may have not been the best father.. but I'm trying. If i had realized that sooner, and tried my best from the beginning.. maybe i would've protected you.. and her..". His voice cracks.
He's crying.
"It wasn't your fault..", i shake my head, placing my hands around his arms
"It never was..", i slowly pulled him in a hug.
My heart races, my breath gets heavier.
I could almost hear the heart beating in my ears.
A tear fell from my eyes.
Because it was mine..
We stood there for a few minutes. Just enjoying the warmth of each other's embrace. Not wanting to let go.
Finally he pulls away, back to that poker face.
"I guess.. i should go and get my assignments done before the holiday is up. It's been rotting at the edge of my table for weeks now", i chuckle.
He stares at me, almost like he's contemplating something.
Suddenly he spoke," There's no need for that". I turn around before my hands reaches the door handle. My brow raising," Hmm?".
"You should pack your bags..".
Ya Allah, is he really..
"..you're going to France", he smiles.
I look at him, jaw dropped.
Is he kidding?
What date is today?
It's certainly not April.
"Dad I'm not really up for jokes tonight", i sigh.
"I'm not dear". Dad handed me his phone.
He shows me something.
It's a message to the administration at
St Vincent Francoise. He gave me a green light.
I snap my face back up at him with a mix of shock and excitement. Then i threw my hands around him and squeeze dad in a hug the second time,
"Thankyou! Thankyou! Thankyou!", i literally screamed in pure happiness.
All of a sudden, i hear a flash go off.
When i turn around i saw my family peeking at us through the door slit.
"Oh no it's in flash", ummi mumbles in panic. "Nice job ummi, way to blow the cover", Yusuf rolls his eyes.
Khalid who's holding Safeeya in his arms then mutters to himself,"Why am i here..".
I can't help but crack up in a fit of laughter. "What are you people doing?".
Yusuf speaks up,"Duh we're here to.. clean dad's study you dummy".
"Sure", i nod.
"That's not true, ummi dragged us here to eavesdrop on you guys", Hassan appeared out of nowhere. She gasps and frowns at my baby brother," Tattle tale..".
Tears were forming in from my eyes as i gasp for more air.
God i love my crazy family so much.
_________________________________________
Already editted this chapter and i have to say i can see how much my writing has improvised from last time.
It's not that great but hey it doesn't make me cringe after reading it so i think thts a win.
Btw tell me which sibling u like best. But don't steal my baby Safeeya she's mine. >:^)