Hermione always knew something was wrong. There had always been a feeling, a voice telling her that this would never work out. For months she'd prayed, hoped, begged for that voice of doubt to leave and then one fateful night it did.
It just left.
It was no longer nagging her 24/7, convincing her that her love story was destined to end with heartbreak, it no longer told her that her own husband did not love her. At first, she assumed it left because it was wrong, but then a second thought crossed her mind.
What if that pestering, annoying little voice trapped in her subconscious was right.
So, as one does, she sat down in their living room, waiting. Waiting for him to come home with a random slag on his back, kissing his neck passionately, giggling as he blushed profusely.
After what felt like hours, but could have been just seconds, an overwhelming panic took possession of her.
Am I not good enough?
Why isn't he home yet?
What did I do wrong?
She hadn't even realised that her breathing had accelerated or that she was shaking violently.
"Mione? Why are you up—fuck what's wrong?" A gentle, concerned voice asked her.
She felt herself being lifted into someone's strong arms and rushed out to the balcony. She was placed onto the ground allowing her to stand but remained in their grip.
Eventually she returned to her previous state of complete awareness, her other senses returned as her vision cleared.
She breathed in and out steadily, noting down what she could see, feel and smell.
She could smell mint, citrus and... rose?
Why the fuck did she smell rose?
"Darling are you okay?" he asked softly, she looked up at him and frowned "Where were you?" she croaked in a small, raw voice.
"Potter gave me more paperwork earlier and I lost track of time," he said as he caressed her cheek, "Now tell me what's wrong?".
She took her gaze from him and looked out to the view; he'd always joked about how shitty it was. For all they could see were buildings, cars, and streets but still she found it beautiful. She loved to admire the intricate designs and marvellous architecture.
"Mione, please tell me."
"Do you still love me?" She never tore her eyes from her front.
"What?" he asked.
"You heard me Draco. Do you still love me or not?"
"Where's this all coming from? Of course love you, what type of question is that."
"It's just- I just feel like our love is one sided," she spoke in an uneven voice.
"Hermione Jean Granger I love you with my whole heart. Don't you dare forget that."
"Is there someone else?" she asked, ignoring his last remark.
"What the fuck! No, of course there is no one else. I want you and only you."
She felt him staring at her.
"Why do you smell of rose?" she asked as she finally looked at him.
An expression unknown to her flashed across his eyes.
"Who is it?"
He remained silent.
She looked away from him and walked forward until she met the railing.
She rested her arms on the metal bar. Ignoring the blistering cold she leaned forward slightly, releasing a small breathless chuckle. "I fucking knew it. You never loved me, did you?"
"Hermione I-"
"Just answer the fucking question Malfoy!" she snapped.
"I do love you; I always have, and I always will."
She laughed again and looked down at her left hand, on her second finger sat a ring. A beautiful ring, a ring that once held so much emotion and feeling, a ring that carried their memories and love. But now... it was just a reminder of unfaithfulness and betrayal.
"A maple leaf diamond 18 carat gold white ring," she whispered as she began pulling the ring from her finger.
"Hermione please—"
"Tell me who and how many times."
"Hermione—"
"Who!" She yelled.
"Astoria Greengrass," he started, and she let out one lonely sob, "She moved into the office next to mine a little while ago and w-we got drinks last month. Then we started flirting and one day she invited me back to her place and we..." he gulped "and we..."
"Say it!" she yelled, "Tell me exactly what you did Malfoy!"
"We had sex. It was meant to be a onetime thing but then—then I got addicted and... and now I-"
"Fuck you Draco!"
"Now I love—"
"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!"
"I love her too Mione. I am so so sorry."
"You said it was only me, you're only meant to love me!" She sobbed as she leaned over the railing and cried.
Through eyes clouded by tears she looked down.
There was a distance of at least 1,000 feet between her and the ground. Maybe, just maybe if she jumped, he'd regret everything. He'd cry day and night; he'd fall out of love with Astoria.
She leaned over further.
Maybe if she jumped her friends would feel horrible, Ron and Harry would be consumed by grief and loss. They'd realise how wrong they were to disown her.
She put her hands over the railing, so they were dangling.
Maybe the papers would see her as the Golden Girl again instead of the Death Eater's Princess.
She sighed in contempt.
They'd all feel horrible if she fell, if she jumped, if she died.
Before she could move further, she felt herself being yanked backwards.
Draco had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back.
Once they'd fallen onto the ground, they looked at each other and cried.
"Hermione I am so so sorry, t-this was never meant to happen."
"Our wedding is in three fucking weeks Draco! Why me? Is my life not hard enough?" He looked down guiltily as she continued to cry out.
"You said you love me, you said there was no one else, you promised me we'd heal together. You fucking liar!"
"Hermione I- I do love you, I love you so so much," she sniffled as they made eye contact "but I love her too..." he whispered his last words.
"I've sacrificed everything for you! My friends hate me, my colleagues don't even acknowledge my presence, the only people that actual care about me are your friends. I gave up everything to be with you and this is what you do," all traces of sadness left her voice and all that remained was anger and disgust.
"Hermi—"
"And what about the flat, what about our pets, what about our fucking wedding?" his eyes flooded with tears, "You fucked up my life because you got addicted to fucking a filthy rich pure-blooded whore!" She ripped herself away from him, simultaneously throwing her ring on the floor before storming into the flat. She took her wand and her shoes, looked back at him sat outside crying and then apparated away.
She found herself outside the Nott manor in nothing but her pyjamas.
She scanned her body quickly making sure she hadn't splinched herself and then shakily walked to the front door.
"Bloody fuck who's set off my wards now?" A voice said from behind the door.
It swung open revealing a half-dressed Theodore and Pansy Nott.
"Oh, Miss Granger-Malfoy is that you?" Theodore asked, "Oh it is— Granger what's wrong?" he asked worriedly as he looked at the crying girl.
"What the fuck happened Hermione?" Pansy asked as she brought her inside.
"He— he fucking cheated on me a-and our wedding is in less than a month and I have no one left!" she wept as she collapsed onto the ground.
She looked up at Theo who looked like he'd just seen a ghost.
"He what! I cannot believe that man. How dare he! Theo, can you believe it?" Pansy screeched in frustration.
"I- uh yeh yeh I had no clue. I— I just— I'm so sorry," he rambled.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Hermione said as she tried to hold back any further tears.
"Right right uhm so what's happening now? Is he moving in with Greengrass or are you going to try and work it out?"
Hermione slowly looked up at him and her mouth hung open in disbelief.
"I never mentioned Astoria."
Pansy's eyes widened as she looked at her husband.
"You knew!" she exclaimed, "you knew that my best friend was being cheated on and you said nothing!"
"I only found out a few weeks ago I promise. Blaise and I were furious when we caught him, he was shagging her in his condo and we—"
"Condo? W-what condo?"
"His condo where he used to fuck—"
"Enough!" Pansy screeched.
"Theodore go and prepare two guest rooms, one for yourself and one for Hermione."
"No no I can't stay here I- I can't."
"Nonsense Hermione. Theodore go!" she demanded and her husband begrudgingly walked away.
Hermione remained on the floor, sulking. She had managed to stop the tears from free falling down her face but the occasional sob escaped her lips.
Pansy kneeled down beside her and stayed there, comforting her. Hermione knew Pansy would much rather be hexing Draco or her husband but she was grateful nonetheless.
After a few pep talks and promises of penile amputations Pansy convinced her to go upstairs and try to relax. Pansy had promised her that she'd organise everything and all Hermione had to do was get herself to the bedroom.
That explains why Hermione found herself lying on her bed reading Children's picture books and eating anything with a nutritional value of 0.
Despite this not being what Hermione would usually do when stressed out, she was grateful her friend had tried.
Before she slept that night she decided to write one final letter to her ex-love.
She grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill and began writing, she wrote for hours and hours and she didn't stop until her hands were blistered and spasming.
Malfoy,
What the fuck is wrong with you? Due to recent events I have decided I will be moving out, I will get Pansy to collect my things from the flat so have them prepared by noon tomorrow. I think it goes without saying that we are no longer together. I believe I left your ring somewhere in the flat so you won't have to worry about collecting it from me. You've ruined everything and I hope you burn in hell. I am unsure as to why I'm shocked right now, I should have listened to the 12 year old Hermione Granger in me. She has been telling me for months that you're the same old Malfoy. The same bully that called me slurs at every opportunity, the same little boy who had no compassion or kindness, the same unloving, heartless, evil little BITCH. I sound crazy right now but quite frankly I don't care. I never thought I'd say this but Ron was right. You are still the same snake I knew back in Hogwarts. You never changed. Oh and do this one thing for me, get all the gifts i've ever gotten you and burn. it. all.
I'm currently staying with Pansy, but don't you dare try and visit me.
Hermione Granger
ps. I hope a spider crawls into your bed
Completely disregarding Hermione's words, the next day Draco came to the Nott Manor.
Actually he showed up everyday for the next three weeks with flowers and books but she continuously stayed away.
On the twenty-fourth day Hermione decided to leave her self inflicted isolation and go for a walk. As soon as she reached the bottom of the staircase she froze. There stood an angry Pansy Parkinson and a pleading Draco Malfoy.
"I fucking love her Pansy! I brought her favourite flowers and- and I brought some muggle classics for her to read. I'm trying I really am."
"Draco you insufferable prick! You brought Roses, Hermione's favourite are Tulips—" Pansy was abruptly cut off by Draco's mindless protests.
"No no no Roses are definitely her favourite, I used to bring them to her at the department fundraisers."
"Roses are Astoria's favourites you arse!" Draco immediately paled at her words.
"I-i didn't know." his shame radiated off him like heat. "I really love her Parks, I feel so horrible."
"If you really love Hermione as much as you say you do you wouldn't of fallen in love with Astoria." she whispered disappointedly.
Draco was about to say something but then he looked up and saw Hermione standing there.
"Mione..." he whispered.
Pansy instantly turned around and gasped at the situation. "Shit, shit, shit!" she cursed quietly as she rushed over to her friend.
"I miss you." the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop herself.
"I-i'm right here, y-you don't need to miss me Mione i-i'm here." he said with pleading eyes.
"I miss who you used to be. I miss when we'd stay up reading articles and then argue about it after, I miss how you'd complain about Crooks all day but you loved him so much you got Nova so he wouldn't be lonely." His head lowered in shame, "I miss the tines we'd joke about Blaise's inability to cook anything but a stupid egg and Theo's bizarre obsession with stamps."
"I'm so so sorry," he began whispering over and over.
"I miss the days i'd force you to go into the muggle world with me and you'd end up spending hours buying random shit we both know you don't need, I miss cuddling you whenever there was thunder because we're both terrified of it, I miss when we'd have to call Pansy to come and remove all the spiders from the flat because they scared us."
"Please, please take me back." he cried.
"I miss the way you'd scream at Ron every time he insulted me, I miss the way—"
"Stop. P-please stop."
"I miss the way you'd kiss me after a bad day, I miss the letters you left me every morning before work, I miss how you used to let me braid your hair whenever it got too long."
"I'm so so sorry." he continued to cry out his words.
"I miss the way you'd laugh every time I got jealous because the idea of you loving anyone else was just preposterous. I miss how fucking faithful you were." She turned around and ran up the stairs, failing to contain her sadness any longer.
After rushing into her temporary room Hermione laid on the bed dreading the next day, not wanting to deal with Draco's daily arrival to the manor to apologise.
But the next day Draco didn't show up.
In fact that was the last day he visited Nott Manor.
Days passed,
Weeks dragged out,
Months went on and she still had heard nothing from him.
That was until the 11th of May when she received a letter.
Dear Miss Hermione Granger
Join us to celebrate the wedding of Mr Draco Malfoy and the soon to be Mrs Astoria Malfoy. It will take place on the 6th of November 2004 at the Whitehall Palace.
You may bring a plus one!
RSVP: Daphne Greengrass
She dropped the letter and fell to her knees. It'd been 4 months since the breakup and Hermione was still living in Nott manor due to Pansy's incessant protests.
In that moment Hermione realised that her life had not moved forward since the breakup and his had. She got up and rushed to her room, after grabbing her things she made her way back down the stairs and ran out the door. She ended up leaving Nott Manor the same way she arrived; wand in hand, shoes barely put on and all her belongings in a place she no longer called home.
She knew it was risky but she also knew she had no choice. Once she had ran far enough from the Manor she disapparated. She then found herself in the centre of her old living room. Everything, aside from the things Pansy had gotten for her, was still in it's old place. His pictures of them, his friends and family still crowded the tables and walls. Mugs, cups and plates still piled up in the sink, blankets and pillows sat messily on the couches just like they had before, but he was nowhere to be seen.
She eventually came to the conclusion that he too had left straight after their fight so she reclaimed the flat as hers. She re-warded the apartment, shut off the floo network and put her key in the door, stopping anyone from the outside from unlocking it. Once she was happy with her new security measures she kicked off her shoes and walked into her bedroom.
She plopped on the bed and began thinking of an action plan. She needed to find a job, new friends and most importantly... a boyfriend.
Unlike the last couple months, the next six months flew by quickly. Far too quick for her liking. Yes, she'd found a job and gained a few muggle acquaintances but her experience in the dating world had been unfortunate. She'd gone on numerous dates with very different people but they all ended the same way. Badly. Very very badly.
Today was like any other day, she'd gone to work, gotten drinks with a colleague, gone home slightly tipsy, painted, checked her calendar, exercised and gone to bed. Actually today was not so normal. When she'd sat down and looked at her plans for the next day there was nothing. The following day had been scribbled over and crossed out in bold red ink. At first she was curious, she was sure that she was not the one to deface her planner and she was desperate to find the culprit. But then, at 11:47pm on Friday the fifth of November she remembered.
She remembered why tomorrow was going to be the worst day of her adult life.
In approximately 17 hours, Draco and Astoria were to be wed. And they'd invited her to watch.
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At 3:15am Hermione decided she wouldn't attend the wedding.
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At 4:48am she changed her mind.
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At 5:59am she got up and picked out her outfit for their reception.
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At 8:45am she called in sick.
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At 11:09am she cried as she watched a muggle romance film.
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At 12:33pm she sang as she cried in the shower.
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At 15:06pm she woke up from her power nap.
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At 16:45pm she drove to the wedding venue.
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At 18:23 she watched the love of her life get married
She glared at the bride. She sat happily at the table only meant to family and friends, her husband sat beside her whispering praises and compliments into her ear.
Everyone else was either sat down eating and talking or on the dance floor having a great time.
But not Hermione.
She was just watching.
Astoria continuously looked down at her ring and smiled. On her ring finger sat the same ring Draco had used to propose to Hermione.
But she wasn't going to tell Astoria that, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
"I love you Astoria, only you." he smiled as he looked at his wife.
Hermione sat there, gaping.
That should be me
Then Draco whispered something into Astoria's ear that made her laugh and nod excitedly. They got up and left the hall.
She found herself struggling to breath, the happiness and glee radiating off everyone choked her. She was drowning in a sea of her own sorrow.
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Counting usually helped her find herself again.
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Why wasn't it working? Why could she still not breath?
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She left the hall, desperately looking for an exit.
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At the exit closest to her stood Theodore and Blaise, her frie- no. Ex friends.
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At the back exit there was Lucius Malfoy and a few other pureblood elitists.
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By the final exit sat a happy couple drunk, gleeful, laughing. At first she couldn't see their faces but once she caught a glimpse of white blonde and deep brown locks she knew exactly who it was.
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She was trapped.
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Then, out of the corner of her eyes she saw a balcony.
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She pushed through the crowds, not caring who she disrupted and entered the door leading to it, locking it behind her.
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She walked right to the edge and let herself scream out and cry.
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She leaned forward, arms dangling off.
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She let her chest fall over the railing.
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She looked back towards the door.
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Back to her front.
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She felt the ghost of his arms pulling her away. But then she was met with her cruel, unfair reality. He isn't here with her, he's with Astoria.
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She pushed herself off the ground and fell off the balcony with no one to hold her back.