My sister was missing. Again.
I dialled her phone for the fifteenth time while shifting back into human clothes, or at least I peeled off my stilettos from my swollen toes to slip on some runners. If I was going to hunt her down I would want the advantage because this was the last straw. This was the last thread I had keeping me together, and now that it was cut, I was ready to abandon all tolerance. I didn't feel as if I had the time to change out of the little black dress besides I still had my own plans for the night. I was supposed to be at Lah Lahs drinking and making my own reckless choices. Instead, I had to be responsible in a fabulous dress and what a waste that was!
Out of my tiny darkened room, I was thrown into the glare of every light in the corridor. As I passed to get to my sister's bedroom I glided my hands across the wall and flicked them off to ease my eyes. The smell of burning sage and other incense created its own mist in the house and I tried to hold back the cough as I dared to sneak a peek at my aunt's figure in the living room. Satisfied that she was preoccupied with the television I wandered into Arianna's bedroom. The light was also on in here despite no one accompanying it and I switched it off to begin my search.
I didn't know how long Arianna had been out, but by Theia Alexandra's complaints, it sounded like my sister never got home last night, and hadn't been home in the last twenty-four hours.
How? How did my aunt not notice?
I was beyond the brink of worry because I was pissed. Yet again, was my time robbed from me to make sure my sister was alive. I know that sounds incredibly cold—selfish even! I sound like a terrible older sister. If it were anybody else I would actually be panicking, but see I've already talked about this with her. I had made my sister promise that she would at least tell me where she was going so if Theia asked I had an answer. Arianna wasn't the brightest flame and had a habit of going on pub crawls from the moment she turned eighteen. Living with Theia Alexandra did that to you and while that was all fair and swell...
The light in the bedroom suddenly clicked on momentarily blinding me. A light searing feeling rang from my temple to the nape of my neck as I adjusted to the brightness. A raspy voice said, 'You should be looking after your sister better.'
I forgot my point. Behind me, I could feel Theia's stern eyes drilling holes into my spine as I threw around Arianna's things to find some kind of clue. Her room smelled like it looked—like it was layered in grease thanks to the empty Maccas packets and old takeaway food. I sniffed a little harder when I reached her bed, the covers and pillows clear from clutter with pink and purple colours. There was a sweet scent of the perfume I'd bought her but there was also something herbal. Is that-no-wait...
I found her stash under the mattress and quickly tucked it back in with a prayer to Hekate that Theia Alexandra wasn't inspecting me too closely. I turned to my aunt as she made some comments about keeping the lights on. Her eyebrows were knitted into a unibrow as she stared at my tight dress disapprovingly. Her red-brown hair was matted and greying at the roots, and her loose-fitting nightgown was beginning to tuck itself into the folds of her skin. Her face was sagging slightly probably because she was due for her next botox appointment. I used to be afraid of her. I think a part of me still was. When I moved closer to the city for university she had no interest in supporting me, not that I wanted to be indebted to her anyway. Being twenty-two meant that I could say with full confidence that she was a wicked and awful woman, and I hated that my sister and I were left in her care.
'Do you have any idea where she could be?' I said. 'Maybe you can find her through your tarot cards and crystal balls,' I added sarcastically.
She sniffled. 'No, Rhea, I don't have any idea. Otherwise, I wouldn't have called you and torn you away from one of your — flings.' She lifted her arm up to rest it against the doorframe. Her whole body blocked the way out as if she were trying to be intimidating. None of that physical pressure worked on me anymore, though her comments about my promiscuity did strike a nerve. It seemed to be her top grievance since I'd come back for the winter break, the second was her need to have every single light on, and candle lit, in the house all day and night. If I ever provoked that, which of course I did, it would be settled with a screaming match and then I would give in and have to sleep in my bedroom with a constant glare on me.
'Have you tried calling her?' I said.
Theia Alexandra looked affronted by this. 'What do you think?'
You don't bloody want to know what I think.
I felt a lump grow in the back of my throat and I bit back the urge to snap at this woman for pigging out in front of the TV all day. For distracting herself just enough that she somehow wasn't responsible for Arianna's disappearances. For deluding herself enough to believe that Arianna wasn't her problem at all and that it was expected of me to just come running blindly.
Theia Alexandra reeked of tobacco and sage so being within a metre of her made my nostrils flare and burn. To be fair she didn't need the cigarettes to have that effect on me, and white sage was quite nice. It was her neglect as a guardian that turned me into Arianna's mother and I didn't want that burden anymore. I moved back in temporarily to spend the winter with my sister so she wasn't just stuck with Theia the whole time. A week in and they both have tested my patience. Pushed so far that not even a soothing day of rain against the wetlands could ease me. Walking through the shopping strip and adored buildings from an older time could make the trip worth it. The nostalgia was shattered by a harsh reminder of why I left. There wasn't time to get into that mentality but I had concluded that once I found my sister I was going to go straight back home. I wasn't going to put up with this any longer.
'Forget it, I'll go out and find her. Call me if you hear anything,' I said.
'I've called Giannis, he's coming around to help.'
My hand clenched tightly around my phone, I think even my right eye twitched. 'Why would you call Giannis?'
'Because he has a car, he can drive you around.'
'Why can't I use your car?' Before she had the chance to answer, the doorbell rang alerting his arrival and threw my head in a dizzy spell. This was all I needed right now; my spoiled aunt, a reckless sister, and a Giannis Vlachos.
Theia Alexandra left the room and I explored the mess one more time. This time fixated on my sister's dirty desk and found, under scraps of papers and food wrappings, her pink journal tucked under a pencil case that had names graffitied on it.
I shouldn't, but Arianna had left me no choice. It wasn't the first time I had to find out where Arianna was hiding out through her intimate thoughts. I felt less shitty about it this time. I suppose I had to get numb to it all eventually, it was only a matter of time before I was going to become completely insensitive to my sister's disappearances.
One journal entry described a rough day at school. Well, the first half of it had before she bore into how she had skipped the rest of the day to go shopping with her friends. Not useful but worth talking to her about it another day. Another entry had a list of random names of people in her class, and they were listed from most to least attractive with a score beside their names. The score was an arsehole percentage and the male-to-female ratio was pretty balanced out. She had a separate list for those who were nonbinary which wasn't a lot and only one of them had an arsehole ratio above ten per cent. An interesting read but again not what I needed. I flicked to the latest entry and read through her scribbles about the Mavros' mansion. This I had to sit down for and her bed creaked as I sunk into it.
'Why would she be writing about that?' I said. I thought about its beautiful gothic architecture, the sculpted gargoyles and Grecian statues that littered the lawn, but I couldn't believe that any of that interested her. She didn't appreciate art in the way it deserved to be adored. From what I could make out in her curly handwriting, she'd mentioned this place a few times. Talked about shadows in the windows, howls in the night, and mentioned this boy's name multiple times.
'Who the fuck is Lazarus?' I whispered. Epic name but I don't recall her mentioning a Lazarus. I flicked to one entry before and she described how she had met this tall stranger at a local pub. She thought he was a friend of Giannis and his pack, but no one else seemed to know him. She found him interesting and sexy and I got back to the newest entry to find out that she was meeting him that night at the grand manor. Well, this was the best clue I was going to get so I tucked her journal back under the pencil case and escaped the pigsty to the front of the house.
I could smell the guest before I laid eyes on him thanks to that pungent cologne he always wore as a thick coat on his body. Most of the Greek boys in the neighbourhood wore similar scents and while I normally loved it, I had learnt to repel it thanks to the likes of Giannis Vlachos. Giannis was in the entryway with one hand on the doorframe, he leaned his body in a particular way so his chest was puffed out like a proud peacock. It was much like Theia Alexandra's position before who did it to daunt me, but Giannis, well I believe he meant to be enticing. I was instantly drawn to the gold chain around his neck and the fact that his white shirt's top buttons were undone to bare that hairy muscular chest. He grinned sympathetically at my aunt before drawing those dark eyes onto me, lingering on my legs before rising to meet my eyes.
'Hey, Rhea,' he said, keeping up the sympathetic smile. Emphasis on pathetic.
'Hi, John,' I said, knowing that pronouncing the English version of his name bothered him. He liked to seem like he was an exotic piece of fruit or something...
I don't know, this goes back to high school. Had I known I would still be interacting with my ex-classmates I would have tried to move further away from this godforsaken neighbourhood. I pulled my coat off the rack by the door. A black leather one that hit the floor so I could have a protective barrier against wandering eyes. 'Sorry to bother you with this,' I said.
I slid past him avoiding Theia Alexandra's glare and he purposely remained in the doorway so my body had to brush past him. Ha! Brush? No, more like I was squished into his muscled frame as I tried to get through the door. Giannis felt the need to press his hand against the small of my back as we walked to his car. I gave him the side-eye not that he cared to make real eye contact with me. I caught his eyes flit over to my chest and I drew my coat securely over it.
'Make sure you drive safely,' Theia Alexandra said. 'Make sure Ari is safe.' Before getting into his car I quickly checked to see if my aunty was still at the door and when the front door was closed and her curtains were drawn I sigh of relief escaped me. She was most likely back at the TV or getting ready for bed because dare she be forced to be kept awake for her nieces. I checked the time. It was just hitting midnight. I wondered if my friends had moved on to the club yet. I told them not to wait up. Family emergency.
'You can go back to the club or wherever you were tonight,' I said to Giannis, already wandering back onto the footpath. 'I'll find her on my own.'
'I'm not letting you go out at night on your own.' He opened the door for me. I took another step back.
'I've faced worse things in the day.'
'Just get in the car, Rhea. It'll be easier than doing it on foot. Your sister might be somewhere in the city for all we know.' He gestured with his head to the passenger seat. 'Come on, I won't bite. Unless you want me to.' His mouth lifted in the corner.
I'll bite you in a minute.
But he was right, it would be faster with him, he is after all probably the most reckless driver that ever did live. Which only made me more eager to take the streets on my own. I knew Theia Alexandra would kick up a fuss and I wasn't in the mood to argue. All I wanted was one night to myself and my sister had to ruin that. I slid into the passenger seat feeling like I had just accepted a ride with the devil.
Giannis' car was as always in pristine condition. I had hoped we could have ridden in silence or with his house music beating violently out of his speakers. That meant he wouldn't really feel the need to open his gob, but sadly he turned the volume down.
'Do you remember the Mavros Manor?' I said.
He grunted. 'That dump? Why?' A dump was not how I would describe it. Not that grand property.
'Because she's probably there.'
Giannis seemed reluctant to move. 'How do you know for sure?'
'What's the problem?' I said dryly.
'No problem. Just don't want to waste the trip.'
'As I said, I can do this on my own.'
'Relax, we'll go. Chill. I'm sure she's fine.'
I had rejected Giannis' advances before, it was easy to play dumb in high school but not so much now. I fooled myself into believing he had grown out of me, grown out of himself. That was a hard slap on the butt when I returned from my first summer holiday back home. Oh, I'm not kidding. He literally thought greeting me, after a year of not seeing each other, with a slap on my cheek was appropriate because it was "just like old times".
I told him to eat shit.
He said I couldn't take a joke and pestered me for my new number.
Why do men?
Why do they men?
Just why men?
This is why I prefer dating women.
'Where were you tonight?' he said pointing to my legs, and I realised my jacket has slipped down exposing my skin. I tucked it back over myself. Pretending to shiver to make things less awkward. He immediately went to turn up the heating as if I wasn't already sweating enough under my coat. Sneaky prick.
'I was at Lah Lahs.'
'Isn't that the gay club?' he said, confused. I tensed and not just at his confusion, it was how he said the word "gay" as if saying it aloud was deeply uncomfortable for him. Why be uncomfortable now? I'd heard him use it as an insult a fair amount of times to bash his friends when we were in high school.
'It's the only place with decent music,' I said. Not really eager to explain my bisexuality to a man who had an emotional intelligence no larger than his thumb nail. 'I'm just gonna give her another call.'
It was like he couldn't hear me because as soon as I dialled my sister's number he kept on speaking about...
I don't know what. Don't expect me to pay attention to this meat-head.
'Nah, you clearly haven't been to club Penthouse. That place is the fucking best,' he said pointing at his window for emphasis.
I tried calling one more time but still got no answer. I left another message.
I just want to know you're okay.
None of my messages was coming up as read. This wasn't like her at all. I was so worried that I wanted to tug out my own hair. What if she was lying dead somewhere? I pictured her body all mauled and abandoned in an alley. No, no I have to give credit where it's due. She's smart enough to stay with a friend, to keep herself safe in groups.
Come on, answer me! I'm even with bonehead Giannis looking for you!
'How's uni?' he asked.
'Fine.' I shrugged.
'Still painting?'
'Yeah, still painting.'
'When do you finish?'
'Got one more year to go after this.'
'Then what?'
I turned my head to really look at him. Was he teasing me? Why did non-creative people ask these kinds of questions? What did they think I was going to do after studying art? Go to the workshop and learn to fix a car? Fuck, I have enough anxiety about my future as a creative I didn't need to be pestered about having some sense of direction. Especially by someone who lacks imagination out of the general "ooo yeah woman with tits". This man makes my skin crawl, but maybe I'm being too harsh. Perhaps he was genuinely curious. I should really just get him talking about himself or his car. That'll get him going for hours.
'Then I keep painting with a degree on my belt,' I said.
'What's the point if like it doesn't take you anywhere?'
Knew it. Gotta learn to trust my gut more. 'It still teaches me about the industry. It's not just sketches of nude models and finger paintings.'
'Were you ever the model?' he smirked.
'No,' I said, shutting that down immediately. It was a lie, of course. I happily posed for one of my friends for their portfolio. I didn't need this guy latching onto that and making it into something perverted. If I could have it my way I would make it legal for women to wander around topless and shriek at the moon.
'If you ever need one,' he said, raising his eyebrows. His tongue pushed against the inside of his cheek. 'You know where to find me.'
'Sorry, I only like to paint fit bodies, not bloated balloon animals,' I said, pinching his bicep. He flexed it as I prodded. 'You know those steroids shrink your penis.'
'Oof, you are in a mood. And nah, babe, these are all-natural.' He flexed one of his biceps. They were bulging through his sleeve ready to burst through the fabric. Yes, yes they were very impressive. I rolled my eyes and he caught me and grinned as if he had just won something. 'Hey, babe, say cock instead of penis.'
'What?' I said.
'Sounds better.'
'Penis sounds exactly like what it looks like.' I leaned against the window. 'And stop calling me babe.'
'Wow, relax feminazi.'
'Stop the car.'
'I'm kidding. You know I'm doing a favour for you right now right?'
I glared out the window and bit my tongue to resist snapping like a viper at him. Deep breath. He was not worth time in prison. They never are. I watched the night pass in a blur of California bungalows with wide mowed lawns, to more modern blocky units with pebbles for a yard. My eyes twitched and it was like a filter had fixed itself over them and lit up the shadows. I was able to catch two figures embracing each other, their bodies outlined by a thin purple light. An animal scurried across a roof in white and purple colours where the moonlight had touched them. I tried to observe the serenity of the night and the figures hiding within the shadows, however, we suddenly sped through it quicker than a moment before. I clutched my seat and I glared at the speed monitor.
'John, we're in the suburbs, not the freeway, slow down.' He ignored me and reached over my legs to his glove compartment. He was able to open it but not able to reach inside so he patted my knee.
'Pass me the gum.' He kept that filthy hand on me and gave it a gentle squeeze over my jacket. Boy, if I hadn't just gotten my nails done. I got the gum packet out and passed it to him then I crossed my legs out of his reach.
'What are you doing tomorrow night?' he asked, popping a piece in his mouth.
'Making up for lost time tonight, I hope. That or study.'
He snickered. 'How much study can there be for a painting class? What do you need to know? The amount of time it takes paint to dry?'
'You know if you want to cross the pantie barrier into a woman, you need to at least pretend you're interested in what they have to say.'
'You're so bitchy tonight. I like it. You're normally all shy and quiet and stuff.'
Would telling this man to shut the fuck up be an overreaction? Probably. It wasn't very me anyway. So instead, I said, 'Yes, I'm very stuff.'
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