Southgate had given me the day off so I could basically sort my life out after the diagnosis. I walked out of his office after the meeting and started heading towards the car park so I could get out and take a reset. But no. I always had to have a destruction.
"Hey baby you ok?" were Phil's words as he jogged to the side of me and put an arm around my shoulder. I immediately shrugged it off.
"I've got urgent stuff to do so let me go do them please," I muttered fastening my pace but maybe at that point I forget of how his job includes insane athletic ability.
"Hey what's wrong? What's with the attitude?" he said taking my arm and stopping me.
"If you were around you would know," I snapped. "If you wouldn't be so bipolar with me sometimes, I could really know you give a shit Phil. I just want to know that you care," I whispered before storming off and heading towards my car.
phils pov-
"Mate you really need to go talk to her," Mason said merging from behind the door.
"I think I know that," I snapped running my hand through my hair in frustration.
"She had this meeting with Southgate but I think it was above some serious stuff," quietly muttered Mason making Phil's head to turn around in shock. "I found her on one of the balconys crying and she looked fucked up mate"
And that was enough for Phil Foden to go rushing out the doors in a panicked hurry to find his girlfriend.
taniths pov-
I didn't really know what I wanted to do when I walked through the front door of my apartment. I felt lost all of a sudden. It was one time I really didn't know what was happening and my head and heart were telling me different things. I didn't know what to do.
The door. From the door, out emerged Phil Foden.
"I have Anorexia Phil," I whispered, on the verge of a mental breakdown. My mind was racing with battling thoughts and emotions colliding and racing in my brain.
All he could do was give me was a tight hug and the words that he was going to have to go to training before leaving me in my apartment feeling cold and alone.
I had resulted in sitting on the sofa huddled up with tons of pizza and Chinese food watching Gilmore Girls for about the seventh time. At this point, I didn't know what to do with myself and I felt quite forgotten. Maybe I was being overdramatic or inconsiderate but the least he could have done was comfort me for a bit. I thought that he should have stayed with me for a bit.
The doorbell ringing was a very unlikely coincidence on this lonely evening. I had narrowed down the list of who would be behind that door; Phil, Asher or Bella. The person that was actually behind that door wasn't who I was expecting.
"Mason," I coughed, my eyes wide looking at him before me.
"Hey Tanith, is this a bad time?" he questioned rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.
"Oh no of course not come in," I gestured stepping out of the doorway and letting him through.
"Let's go lads!" I heard Mason say before I saw all the whole of the England squad leaping into my apartment. In some weird way it made me very happy.
I subconsciously started to look around for him. I just hoped he hadn't come with the crowd as I didn't think I could face him.
"Don't worry he's not here," whispered Mason coming up behind me and placing a hand on my shoulder. "Come on into the living room, we'll sort everything ourselves."
I followed him into the living room and taking a seat between Ben and Jack.
"Why are you all here?," I blurted out the question that had been circling my brain.
"Look Tanith we don't know what shit went down after the night out but you CAN NOT be sad," said Jack nudging my shoulder. "You should feel special, we don't do this often"
"So I should feel lucky that I have received your services?" I mused.
"Well of course Tanith, we don't spend money on Nandos and ice-cream for no reason," laughed Trent gesturing to the masses of food on my coffee table.
"I think I better find a film then," I chuckled reaching down the remote and playing one. I felt Mason was staring at me and I shot him a small smile. I wasn't sure what else to do.
It was around halfway through The Edge of Seventeen when I started to feel slightly anxious. I had been leaning my head against Ben and his arm was around me which felt strangely comforting. But then he kept coming back into my head, ripping through my brain and bringing and overwhelming feeling of guilt over me.
"Um I'll be back," I mumbled to Jack and Ben before getting out of the living room to the one place of comfort in my whole apartment.
masons pov-
Was it weird that I was studying her? The slight way her hair would fall out of place and she would fumble around with it to put it back in place. The way she would be so caught up in the action of the film, she would all of a sudden jump out of her phase of utter concentration. The way she almost was in a peaceful daydream; a world of her own. The way she eats quickly but always checks to see if she has made a mess or left a crumb. It was a rare occurrence for me; all of these things. I wasn't used to it.
I knew that her exit didn't mean anything to anyone else but I knew something was up; I waited a good ten minutes before getting up to follow after her.
taniths pov-
I was lost in my own world at this point. I appreciated everything that the boys did but the annoying, nagging part of me felt trapped in guilt over what had happened with Phil. Of course he cared, he had done so much for me. Well he mostly acted like he cared, was that not enough?
I heard faint noises coming from the door which made my head snap in its direction. Through the door came Mason Mount. Again, someone I didn't expect to see.
"Hey," he said softly coming over to sit down next to me. "I was bored of the film as well; I must've of watched it thousands of times"
I let out a small chuckle being able to relate. "I know how it feels," I mused.
His eyes traveled over to my grand collection of CDs and records. It was something that I was most proud of.
"You have an amazing collection," he said in awe, getting up to take a closer look.
I watched the way that he studied them, as if he was genuinely interested. I had never seen anyone give one about my collection. It had only ever been there for me.
"Wow you have almost every single one I could think of," he marvelled.
"I love music," I laughed. He let out a small chuckle.
"Anyways, you seemed startled earlier, are you ok?" he asked coming back to sit with me.
"I just feel guilty and I shouldn't. I feel like I keep being overdramatic or I am getting too caught up on small things but I'm not am I? Well you don't know what shits happened but I think our trust and connection with each other is failing and I don't want it too," I sulked letting my tears run freely down my face. He took me into his arms letting me sob relentlessly into his hoodie. "I really love him Mason"
"I know you do Tanith," he sighed. Maybe we did stay in this position too long, my head buried in the crook of his neck and his arms tightly wrapped around me but in some weird twisted way it was a small token of comfort that I appreciated.
His ringtone was what snapped us out of out trance and brought us back to reality.
"It's Haley," he said breaking eye contact with me.
"I'm gonna go," I whispered before leaping out of the room as quick as I could.
To sum it up, Haley might be one of the most cocky, self-centred, clueless, selfish person I have ever met. I had met her months ago at a night out and let me tell you, it was one of the worst greetings I had ever received. I didn't get the way her head worked and I couldn't believe that she has common sense the way that she was flaunting around so much false crap. Don't get me wrong, she was drop dead gorgeous but her attitude was pathetic and shitty. None of us liked her but dared not say a thing to Mason. Weirdly enough, he made out he was happy and we didn't want to change that. I think she has disliked me the day she set her eyes on me. For what reason, I am not sure but I don't think I want to find out. It was her that made me want to forget what had just happened a couple of minutes ago.
I sauntered back into the living room with some more confidence than before. I wasn't going to go crawling back to him, if he really wanted me he would come and speak to me off his own back.
@tanith_auclair- perhaps fuck off might be too kind
liked by- @masonmount10,
@jackgrealish and @bella.hart
comments-
@tanith_auclair- do me a favour- arctic monkeys
@jackgrealish- you go tanith
- @tanith_auclair- all down to the nandos and ice cream to be fair
- @masonmount10- hey i take credit here
- @trentarnold66- sure sure
@declanrice- tanith i now love that film
- @tanith_auclair- good xoxo
@bella.hart- hey @masonmount10 where was my invite?
- @masonmount10- i sincerely apologise miss hart.
- @bella.hart- you better do
- @willowcober- i wanted one as well 🙄⁉️
@benchilwell- i take credit for being a good head support tanith ✋🏽😭
- @tanith_auclair- that you do
@username1- stop swearing, this app has kids
- @declanrice- karen alert
- @jackgrealish- karen alert
- @tanith_auclair- actually children on this app should be of age as they are legally required to do so and I should be free to be able to speak how I want thanks.
- @masonmount10- ooh full stop; feisty
@username2- pop off
I had tried my hardest but anything I did was resulting in nothing. Phil had the frequent excuse of training running late or late meetings with Guardiola. I wanted to believe it but part of me didn't. We still were in our usual routine but there was always a weird off feeling lingering in the air. The silence was usually comfortable and we were frequently affectionate but I still didn't feel as if it was normal. It all seemed a little stiff some times.
I constantly wanted to make conversation, to go back to our meaningless conversations but whatever I did, he didn't seem bothered. I never brought up our rough patch. I thought that it would be the right thing to do but each time I hinted towards it, he would shut me down.
"I'm coming to your game on Sunday right?" I asked.
"Yeah," he replied absentmindedly, still transfixed to the TV.
"So am I staying at yours then?" I asked even though I assumed yes.
"Hmm," he nodded.
My job as the personal trainer for the England squad was put on hold because of the league starting up again. I must admit that the Euros were a heavy disappointment but we were working from it. I decided to get a temporary job at a local boutique to keep some money rolling in. The other job was still providing me money but I thought of it as something to do with my time. We had one last training session before they were put on hold. I was gonna miss them all but I knew that I would still be definitely seeing them around. For once my life was at a stage of tranquility.
AHHH 1K VIEWS! I actually can't believe it. Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading jealousy, jealousy. I am so thankful! I genuinely am so pleased to know that you are enjoying it and I can't wait for you to get to know the hidden plot lines in the book!
p.s i am starting to give you more Mason content and many more characters are going to be making an appearance:)
also how do we feel about longer chapters?
love you guys bye!