"What is it doll?" He got closer to me and rubbed my cheek. He could be so damn sweet.
"John i-" "john Michael Shelby get your arse out here!" I heard Arthur yell.
God damn it! Why is it every time I need to say something somebody cuts me off?!
John started to walk towards the door until I pushed him down onto a seat. "No, you sit." I opened the snug doors to see Arthur waiting impatiently.
"John and I are trying to speak Arthur! I'm tired of you all thinking it's okay to cut me off when I'm speaking or tell me what to do! I'm not a child anymore so stop treating me like one!" I slammed the snug door in his face and took a deep breath and turned back to john who just look gobsmacked.
"What are you looking at?!" "N-nothing" I sat down across from him and that feeling came back.
My chest felt tight and my oxygen felt low.
"You have to promise that you won't be mad and that I did it out of love and care." "Mercy I couldn't ever be mad at you, just tell me."
"When I came back from the war, I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted to spend forever with you and have kids but you never sent any letters to me and one of those things happened long before I wanted."
"Mercy-" "john I had to do it, I thought you were dead and I couldn't raise a child by myself but-" "mercy Antoinette bourbon, were you pregnant with my child?" It hurt to hear those words roll off his tongue.
"John I didn't want to raise it on my own. I'm, not ada I, couldn't do that" "you didn't hear from me so you just decided that I wouldn't have come back?!"
"John you said you wouldn't be mad at me." "I'm not mad you did it, I'm mad that you thought I wouldn't have come home and taken care of you both!" "John-" "no, I can't do this right now." He grabbed his cap and threw it on along with his coat and walked off.
I told the truth, I got it off my chest yet, I feel more guilty than I ever have before
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I told Polly everything the next morning, everything but the love I still have for john.
"If he truly cares and loves you he would get over it and realize that you did this for your safety and there is nothing wrong with that." "Your right."
We entered the garrison with Tommy not far behind us. John wanted a family meeting and for some reason, they all felt necessary to have me a part of it.
"All right John, only one man is guarding the house. What's troubling you?" He looked at me as I sat down and I could see the pain in his eyes.
"I'm getting older, and I need a wife to start a family with, so that's why I'm getting married." My head shot up at the words that left his mouth. What the hell was he talking about?
"Does this poor girl know your gonna marry her or are you just gonna spring it on her all of a sudden?" Polly asked. "I've already proposed and she said yes." I could hear the pain in his voice.
It feels so hard to keep from breaking, the man I love is marrying another.
"I think there's a shell about to land and go bang." Tommy lit a cigarette and gave me one as well.
"It's um-
It's Lizzie stark" "what?!" The boys started laughing as I looked at him like he had 4 eyes.
He's going to marry the town whore!?
"John, Lizzie stark is a strong woman, and I am sure she provides a fine service for her customers."
"I won't hear the word. Understand? Do not use that word." "What word is that John?" "Please john, enlighten us," I asked. Lizzie stark was nice but there is no way she would give up her hustle for him.
"You both know what word that is." "Everybody bloody knows." "Everybody can go to hell."
"Whore? That word? Or prostitute? How bout that one?" "I don't know Tommy, maybe he means
slut,
tramp,
Streetwalker,
Call girl,
Harlot,
Lady of the evening, perhaps?" I joined in on the joke because that's all this was a joke.
"Right! I want it known, if anyone calls her a whore again, I will push the barrel of my revolver down their throats and blow the words back down to their heart."
"Men and their cocks never cease to amaze me" "I could say the same thing," I mumbled grabbing a glass of whiskey and drinking it.
"John, Lizzie stark has never done a day's work vertical." "You know whys that pol? Cause she's a whor-" "she's changed! All right. People change. You know a lot about change don't you mercy?" I could almost taste the venom in his words "John-" Polly interrupted him but I stopped her.
" like, with religion-" "oh Lizzie stark has got religion, eh?" "No, she doesn't have religion but-" "I would believe so with all that time she spends on her knees." I laughed at my joke as I swallowed another glass of whiskey not even letting it sit in my mouth long enough to taste.
"Well, she loves me." I put my cup down as I felt his watery eyes burning into my soul. This was all my fault, he's only marrying Lizzie because I'm marrying Elijah.
"Now listen, Tommy, I won't do it without your blessing. but of all the people in the world, I want you to see it as... brave." At this point, I decided to just shut up.
I drowned out the laughter of Arthur and Polly
It didn't seem funny anymore knowing that it was my fault.
"-because I need someone." I heard john tell Tommy and I finally let a tear slip until Finn busted through the door of the snug.
"Tommy! We've been done over!" "What?" Everyone ran out the snug and to the betting house.
"Jesus Christ!" John kicked the chair that I was standing next to out of anger.
"What the bloody hell happened here?" Arthur asked scudboat "the lees. All of them, Cousins, nephews, even their bastards" "they've taken anything they could lay their hands on. Four cash boxes"
"They left these." Tommy picked up a pair of wire cutters.
"Nobody move," Arthur said and I felt someone pull me closer to their body. It was john.
"I think our friends are playing the game" "what bloody game Tommy?" "Aunt pol, mercy, don't touch anything." "Why?"
"Erasmus lee was in France." "Oh shit." I understood what they were talking about, Elijah told me when he returned.
"When we gave up ground to the Germans, we'd leave behind booby traps, set up with wires. We'd leave wire cutters as part of the joke."
"Somewhere in here, there's a hand grenade." "Holy Jesus." "Mother of God." Polly and I both said looking around us.
"It's attached to a wire, don't move any chairs or open any doors" "no, it's not here," Tommy explained how the trap was just for him so we were safe.
Tommy and I went outside to look for the youngest Shelby when we saw Finn sitting in the car.
"Finn!" "Finn stay exactly where you are." "I was pretending I was you." "Which door did you open to come in Finn." If Finn touched either of the doors the car would go boom and so would he. I slowly trailed behind Tommy
"I didn't, I climbed in." Oh dear god.
"I want you to climb out exactly the same way you climbed in, okay?" "Instead of listening he opened the door and got out. "Finn no!"
I ran and picked him up and ran from the car while Tommy picked up the grenade and threw it. Tommy picked us both up and held us as we were both panting from fear. "Are you alright Finn?" Finn just shook his head and grabbed onto our hands tightly as we walked off.
"That's why you should never pretend to be me okay?" "Finn Shelby don't you ever do that to me again, I Don't know what I would've done without my best friend"
_________________________________________
Tommy and I went to go see my aunt, it's been a few days since the attack and it was hard to get her to speak to him.
I sat outside her caravan waiting for them to finish "mercy darling, come here." I opened the door of the caravan and sat down.
"Now, Thomas you want a marriage alliance, yet we have no women here that are of age and single, but the next of lee kin isn't exactly single, nor married yet." They both looked at me and Tommy smirked.
"Congratulations doll, it seems like your going to be marrying sooner than expected."