It's been more than two days since a high Lorraine Perabo crawled on top of me, asking me with all the sober innocence long gone to f*ck her. But it was all I could think of since then. Her face would come to haunt me in my sleep and her voice in the daylight. I could be lifting weight in the gym room, and I'd hear that same obliviously seductive I want you, I want you right now, or I could be having a conversation with Mila, and I'd remember the way she felt against me. And it would simply tear me apart.
I was losing it.
Losing it so much I got benched half of the game yesterday after consecutively missing two easy shots. It almost cost us our game. And Coach was quick to kick me off the court, pointing out that my head wasn't in the game. And he was correct. My head was thinking about Lorraine and all the dirty things that I could not wait to do to her.
Which is why I all but ran to the door as soon as the doorbell went before any of the guys could. Lorraine had her back to me when the door opened, and when she turned around, I found that I couldn't breathe until I felt a manly hand slapping my back before coming around my shoulder.
"Ah, thought it was the pizza guy," Dante said mockingly as we both stared at Lorraine, standing by the door in nothing but a leather trench coat. No, he didn't. Nobody ordered no f*cking pizza. "I didn't know it was raining outside." Dante continued teasingly, and Lorraine turned a cute shade of pink.
"I-it's not-" she bites her lips anxiously, stuffing her hands in the pocket of the trench.
"It's not?" Dante continues mischief dancing in his eyes. I jab my elbow into his side to caution him. He gives Lorraine a small salute before retreating inside the house, shouting at Sawyer to order the pizza.
"Hey." I smile at Lorraine.
"Hey."
"Come in."
My heart is hammering dangerously in my chest as I guide her up the stairs to the room, her warm hand slipping into mine. Something-a bit of fear and excitement runs through me when we're in the safety of my room, and I shut the door behind me with a soft click.
Lorraine clears her throat, her eyes roaming the room before landing on the bed. I know what she thinks when her cheeks fill with pink. Both our heads are deep in the gutter, which relaxes me a little.
"Didn't think you were going to make it," I say honestly, taking a cautious step back to prevent me from ripping that dammed coat off her body. I'm not trying to scare her off.
"Why? I said I'd make it." Her voice is feathery light. I give her a pointed look. "I cancelled on Saturday because I had to study. I don't want to fail the upcoming stat test we've got." She explains.
I take a seat at the edge of my bed, staring at Lorraine's who's still standing in front of the door. Her hands are now tucked in the pocket of her coat again-it's almost as if she's scared of what her hands are going to do if they're free. "I almost went crazy. I thought you changed your mind-" I admit honestly, not knowing exactly why I do so. It feels so natural to want to be honest with her. It's refreshing-for someone who's used to hiding his every thought. Her eyes widen a little, "-which would be fine-"
"Charlie-"
"It-It would be fine," I continue, my eyes shining with sincerity. "We would still be friends-it'd f*cking suck, but it's better than nothing, right?"
"Charlie," she repeats softly, taking a step forward. She shakes her head. "Do you think I'd show up here like this," Her hands which I didn't realise were out of her pockets, came up to unbuckle her trench. The material falls in a messy poodle by her feet. "I didn't change my mind."
I swallow -hard. Unable to look away. Unable to speak. And how could I when Lorraine's standing in front of me, naked- because the flimsy excuse of matching underwear doesn't count as a piece of clothing, in my opinion. Majorly because it's so see-through that I can see the light brown colour of her nipples poking at the fabric, I picture my mouth around the flesh and growl lowly.
A sound I'm not aware I was capable of making. But f*ck, I think I'm going to explode just looking at her.
As hard as it was to imagine a world where Lorraine left the comfort of her apartment in nothing but see-through lace underwear and a trench coat, that's what happened. And it was one hell of a ballsy move-especially for the sophomore.
"Say something.." When I'm finally able to drag my eyes to her face, I watch uncertainty creep into her features. Her thoughts are spiralling. I can tell by the way her brows are tightly knitted together.
Before I can let her think this is the worst idea she's ever had, I stand from my bed and close the space between us. Lorraine breathes, her lips parting at the sudden invasion of privacy. I suppress a groan-her lips are practically begging to be kissed. She's peering up at me as my hands snake around her, settling on her hips.
Her skin is warm and, oh, so soft.
"Your skin feels like silk," I whisper, letting my hands run up and then down the sides of her. She visibly shivers, and I feel a smile tug at my lips. "I can imagine it was cold marching across campus in this." Winter in California isn't precisely brutal, but it does get slightly chilly when the sun goes down.
She swallows, almost like she can't decide whether to answer my question or melt into my touch. She blinks when one of my hands settle on her back, my finger tracing the tiniest of circles. "No, I called a cab here." She clears her throat. "Don't think I would have made it here if I walked inn these heels. I'm so nervous I'm sure I would have fallen over."
"Nervous," I repeat, almost as I've never heard the word before, even though the same feeling is biting at me. "Why are you nervous?"
I have no idea why I'm asking, but it seemed the right thing to do. Lorraine's tongue darts out to lick her lips. "Well-" she shakes her head like she's thought better of what she was about to say.
"Come on. You can tell me." I urge, pulling her in a bit closer. "What were you nervous about?"
"Everything," she blurts. "maybe not everything but mostly how you'd react to my, you know, outfit. I didn't-I haven't exactly gotten this far before with anybody, and I didn't-" she sighs.
"Didn't what?"
"Didn't want to come off like I'm trying too hard. I was afraid it would, I don't know, turn you off."
If she weren't looking so damn serious, I would have laughed at her admission because it has to be a joke that she thinks that. Instead, I pull her closer to me. Better for her to feel what the sight of her has done to me instead of trying to convince her with little words. Lorraine gasps softly when she hits my chest. "Feel that-" I ask, not understanding how I'm managing to keep my voice controlled, how I'm managing to keep myself controlled. Lorraine gulps and nods her head. "Does that feel like a turn off to you?" She shakes her head, her eyes not leaving mine. I smile devilishly. "I love your outfit-or the lack thereof. It's sexy."
She blushes. "You do?"
I nod in response. "And if it's any consolation, I'm pretty f*cking nervous too," I admit.
Once again, it seemed like the right thing to do. And I know I'm right because she visibly relaxes a little.
"You are?"
I nod. "It's your first time, and I don't want to ruin it for you." My voice suddenly goes thick with emotion. "I don't want to hurt you."
"I sincerely doubt that you're going to do that." She smiles sheepishly.
"I appreciate the confidence, but the first time always hurts."
"I believe that's common knowledge, yes." I find myself smiling at her witty reply.
"I can't believe I'm about to say this, and don't get me wrong because I'm into this, but are you sure this is what you want?" She stares at me with confusion in her eyes. "I don't want you to feel rushed into anything-"
"I can hardly see how I'm being rushed if this was my idea in the first place."
And she's not wrong. But something deep inside me didn't want this to be just about the sex. It's true-the physical attraction is there, bright as day, to anyone with eyes. But what if all there is to it was physical, and as soon as we have sex, everything goes crashing? Somewhere along the way, I've grown attached to the sophomore and picturing a future without her in it seemed impossible. "I don't want us to rush into things." I finally say. "We could go slow. I want your first time to be exceptional."
"It would be-if it's with you." I want to disagree but couldn't bring myself to. I like the sound of it more than I'm willing to admit. "Why are you smiling?" She asks, her eyes gleaming pleasurably.
I look into her eyes, wondering why I never noticed just how huge her brown eyes are. Or noticed the golden flecks in them. I pull her close to me, so close that I can feel the pounding of her heart. "I want to kiss you right now."
Her eyes widen. Then she blushes a little. "Kiss me then."
She didn't have to repeat it.
My lips spread into a devilish smile before settling on hers. The kiss is soft-delicate, and agonisingly slow. Like I've just discovered profound happiness and realised I have all the time in the world to enjoy it.
It's the moment I've been waiting for the past few days. I realise, in some way, every decision I made, even the stupid ones, was designed somehow to bring me to this moment right here. This moment. It is every damn thing I could have wished for.
This kiss is different from the other ones we've had. There's no underlining anger or ulterior motive. We were both putting one foot forward, testing the waters. And no matter what the outcome of our decision is, it would be one we wouldn't regret. All there is the two of us, and all I can feel is her.
Lorraine is warm and flush against me, and she sighs contentedly, her hands coming up to the back of my neck hungrily, forcing me to change the pace of the kiss. My hand finds one of her breasts, lightly rubbing her nibble. She lets out a yelp, and my tongue pushes in, meeting hers in an electric motion. The sweet taste of her invades my mouth and causes heat to rise deep in the pit of my stomach. I didn't think it was possible to get harder-until now.
"The bed-" she breathes ",-I'm gonna fall."
I chuckle against her lips and pick her up. She wraps her legs around me as I move her to the bed. Our lips part as I lay her down, long enough to catch our breath and for me to see the desire burning in her eyes. "I want to see you," I whisper before I can stop myself. Lorraine blinks, almost as if she can't understand what I'm saying. I push off the bed and stand so that I'm watching her. "Take off your underwear."
The chapter was getting too long, so I'm splitting it into 2. part 2 will be up soon.