I fumbled out of the third club of the night barely being able to stand still and constantly bumping into my fellow friends.
"God I am so sorry" was a constant phrase that I had to use whilst walking around the busy streets of London. The whole team had decided to go out tonight, all of the team bringing their other halves and us all deciding to dress up a bit extra. I had grown great relationships with everyone know and I was starting to feel much more stabilised unlike a couple of months ago.
We were now approaching our fourth club and me vaguely remembering that I had to put some recollection of the night on social media.
"Hey Chilwell!" I called out. "Make yourself useful and help me take a photo for instagram!"
"Gotta give the followers what they want," he sighed before grabbing my phone and following me to the mirrors.
I couldn't be sure how drunk I was at some point as I was almost a completely different person.
"Hey I think we should get you home love," I heard the gentle, comforting voice of Phil say.
"Hmmm," I mumbled back unable to understand what he was saying and I was barely keeping myself awake.
@tanith_auclair- she's an exploration, she's made of outer space
p.s the photo credits go to the dumbass here
tagged- @benchilwell
liked by- @philfoden, @jackgrealish and @benchilwell
comments-
@tanith_auclair- arabella- arctic monkeys
@benchilwell- i am shocked you gave me credit
- @tanith_auclair- i am very drunk right now, don't test my patience :)
@username1- SHE HAS THE WHOLE ENGLAND SQUAD ON SPEED DIAL
- @username2- she does work with them though
@username3- why didn't phil take the photo?
@username4- shouldn't her boyfriend be doing all this shit?
- @username5- @philfoden where are you?
My head was throbbing. My back was aching. My feet felt numb and my eyes were heavy. I huffed and puffed at the thought of getting up before I pulled my body out of its deep slumber. I had to shudder myself awake before glancing over to the bedside table to grab my phone. Also there was a glass water and painkillers. Fuck I got bad hangover. I gulped the water and tablets down before hoisting myself out of bed and walking to the the kitchen.
When I got there, I smelt pancakes which instantly brought some comfort to me. I saw Phil standing in the kitchen making breakfast.
"Hey," I said softly as I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him from behind. But he never reacted. He stood there silently not uttering a word and that made me immediately realise that something was off.
"Hey baby, everything alright?" I asked with a tone of concern in my voice.
"If it's about last night babe I'm really sorry I just got overtly excited and I-..." I started but her never let me finish.
"You should really stop drinking that much Tanith," he stressed. Shit. My last name.
I now pulled away. "But it was one night that I just decided that I wanted to let loose," I said raising my voice.
"Tanith I think you should leave and just have a breather, clear your head a bit," he muttered.
"Phil come on I am really sorry," I whined.
"Tanith just go yeah?" He said ushering me to the door.
"You are seriously kicking me out of my own apartment for being to drunk?" I questioned.
He couldn't even make eye contact with me and just looked down at the floor.
"Fine," I scoffed before slamming the door in his face and storming off.
I was marching through the halls of the complex hoping to find the right apartment. And there it was: number 11. I rang the doorbell and impatiently dawdled around until my best friends finally opened the door.
"Asher," I sighed. "Can I come in?"
Asher Bates. He was someone I have known for as long as I can remember. We had been best friends even before we were born, our mothers practically bonding us together when were still in their uteruses. I don't remember an important part of my life where Asher wasn't involved. We stood by each other for everything and there sometimes was never a day we would go without seeing each other. It was hard when I moved to London, to leave everything behind. But especially him. We have gone through thick and thin. Our relationship is like brother and sister but people find it hard to see it. When I found out he was moving to London, I cried. He is someone who I can't picture my life without. And yeah. That sums up Asher Bates.
"He kinda kicked me out for being to drunk last night," I muttered as he followed me in to the living room. "We'll actually that sounds toxic but it's not quite like that"
"What a prick," he said swiping the remote off the table.
"Wanna watch something? It can take your mind off him for a bit. You honestly just need a break Tani," he asked turning to face me.
"Yeah ok. I'm just gonna get some breakfast I'm starving. You want anything?," I asked.
"No I'm fine," he said.
I sauntered off to the kitchen to make myself breakfast. As I was pouring myself some water, I felt my phone vibrate. I clumsily retrieved it before almost dropping it when I saw what the email notification was.
I was trembling now, shaking scared even. I didn't know what to do. The email sitting in my inbox was going to affect me in as many ways as I could think off. I shakily placed my glass of water down before unlocking my phone. It seemed like hours until I reached the email; one click changing my entire future.
I was diagnosed with Anorexia.
I felt as if the whole world was toppling down onto me. I couldn't feel anything now; my body was numb. Each breath I was taking was fighting to make it out. I fell, my phone slipping out of my hand and crashing down onto the cold, unwelcoming floor. He must of heard it.
"Asher," I frantically whispered trying to stabilise and control my actions. But I was helpless.
"Shit Tanith," I heard a faint voice say. Asher. "Come on breath with me ok?"
"10....."
"9....."
"8....."
"7....."
"6....."
"5....."
"4....."
"3....."
"2....."
"1....."
"I've been diagnosed," were the words I could finally mutter out after calming myself down.
I felt a pair of arms snake around my shoulders as I returned the gesture, sobbing into his hoodie in addition.
"I think we should go and get some good coffee, some KFC and scream 505 from the rooftops yeah?" he whispered.
I let out a small chuckle. "I think that's a plan"
I walked back to my apartment after a shitty day. I didn't know whether to expect him there but I decided to brave the odds anyways. But he wasn't there. And I needed to speak to him, I wanted his loving side back and I was craving it. My day was shitty and I simply wanted his arms around me again but all that was left on the door was a note:
sorry had to leave see you tomorrow xx
And boy I really needed him right now.
I had set up a meeting with Southgate today to talk about my diagnosis but I was overthinking and overworking myself. The tears were pouring out of my eyes as I sat outside in a desolate balcony. I then felt myself collide with someone else.
"Well if it isn't Mason Mount," I muttered staring down onto the floor. He had been giving me the cold shoulder lately, me not knowing why and I didn't really remember what I had done wrong.
"Just look at where your going it's not that hard," he seethed bringing his eyes to my face. "What wrong?" he asked, a wave of sympathy in his voice.
"I had a really shit weekend," I sighed playing around with my fingers.
"Hey everyone has them, you'll get over it," he said awkwardly patting my back.
"Trust me, I don't think I'll be over this one anytime soon," I chuckled. "Anyways I've got to go, I have a meeting with Southgate so I have to go"
We exchanged goodbyes before I rushed off to the office of impending doom.
"I understand Tanith, and don't worry, this won't affect much. We'll just be monitoring you just to make sure everything is going alright ok?" Southgate told me leaving me with a wave of relief rushing through me.
"Thank you boss," I replied letting out a small smile. Maybe I could make the most of it after all.
couldn't deprive you of the mason content now could i?