Written for Polyam fest 2021
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"Nooo Joonie wants to sit on my lap." The argument was a silly and petty one, but it left Namjoon with a warm feeling in his chest.
Just 4 months ago, he had never even been kissed, let alone had a boyfriend.
They were busy idols, and he was gay. Part of him had just accepted that there would be no happy end for him. It was all too complicated, the chance that somebody would first have to find out that he was gay, being into guys themselves, and then be okay with keeping it a secret.
That... that just wouldn't happen.
Namjoon had come to terms with that. He was happy just being the leader of BTS, and maybe kinda having a bit of a crush on the 3 younger members of his group.
Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook had been together since shortly after Jungkook's 19th birthday, and they didn't try to hide it. 5 years later, they were still together happily, and Namjoon was still suppressing a crush.
At first, it had been easy to just assume, to just pretend that the reason he had a crush was because they had what he wanted. A polyamorous gay relationship, the dream Namjoon never believed he would get.
5 years later, it was harder to stick to that idea.
It was harder to deny his eyes straying. It was harder to deny the dreams he kept having. It was harder to deny his heart speeding up and his blood pumping hard whenever one of them touched him.
That... was harder to deny.
Still, Namjoon ignored those feelings. The three of them were happy, and there was no way in hell that Namjoon would do anything to even change that. He had accepted that there was no happy end for him, so why would he try to ruin something good and precious the three of them had.
( maybe a part of him was a bit insecure as well, he was older than them, but they all had so much more experience than him. Who would even want him, those were the thoughts going through his mind late at night, when he was alone in the darkness.)
Then everything changed.
He didn't have to suppress it, he didn't need to suppress it, cause they liked him back. The looks that he had thrown at them had been thrown back to him.
Three had become four, and somehow Namjoon had gone from never being kissed, to having three boyfriends he very much loved.
Still, he wasn't sure how the hell HE had ended up being the baby in this relationship.
"You could also sit on my lap." Namjoon couldn't stop himself from giggling, they were all three so silly and lovely that there was nothing else to do.
They were having their break, for the first time in what felt like forever. While Namjoon did want to go back on stage, did want to perform and show what they had made, it still felt good to have a bit of a break. It was the first time that they had a break since Namjoon had joined their relationship.
He still had his own apartment outside of the dorm, but he spent most of the break at the maknae-lines shared apartment, which they had somehow magically managed to hide from the fans.
Jungkook and Jimin both pouted at that, only making it harder for Namjoon to hide his giggling "but it's better when you sit on our laps."
"Why is that?"
Jungkook just looked at him with a none too impressed look, as if he shouldn't even need to explain. And yeah, Namjoon had just learned to accept it.
He really was somehow the baby in this relationship, and he wasn't sure how.
He was older.
He was taller.
According to the internet and their fans, he was way more daddy, but somehow he had ended up as the baby.
The weird thing was that Namjoon really liked it.
It wasn't a thing that he had thought he would want from a relationship, to be the one the other wanted to take care of. As the leader of BTS, as one of the first members, he had always been taking care of people. It was his job after all.
So not having to do that when he had free time, for once letting other people take care of him... that felt nice.
He must have zoned out as Jimin and Jungkook bickered, just looking at them with loving eyes. He didn't even notice Taehyung sneaking up on him, wrapping his arms around Namjoon from behind "what are we arguing about?" The words were whispered into Namjoon's ear like it was some big secret the two of them were having.
"Apparently whose lap I am gonna sit on."
That made Taehyung laugh, his warm breath settling against the skin of Namjoon's neck, "they are both wrong, clearly my lap is where you belong. What about we let them argue and sneak away? Walk the dogs maybe? Some quality time together." At first, whenever he would be spending time with just one or two of them, instead of all of them, he would feel guilty.
For the first few months that they had been together, part of Namjoon had still feared that he would break them apart, that he would ruin what they had together. Maybe part of that would still linger for a bit, stuff like that didn't just change instantly, but he was getting better.
That was why he didn't feel guilty about abandoning the two bickering idols, to go walk the dogs with Taehyung. They even brought Jungkook's dog, Bam, with them, because they were just that nice. (also both he and Taehyung were weak for dogs, there was no way even if they wanted, they could leave Bam behind. The dog might be huge, but he was so sweet and nice, that they just had to bring him with them.)
The walk was nice, and so was making out against the door, right after.
That was where Jungkook and Jimin found them. Leashes dropped to the floor, Namjoon's hands in Taehyung's hair with his back pressed against the door, eagerly making out. Not aware, nor caring about what was going on around them.
"You stole him away!" Jimin sounded insulted, but not hurt "that is cheating!"
Taehyung finally broke the kiss, but he never moved away, Namjoon was still able to feel puffs of his breath against his own lips. "I didn't steal him, we stole each other." his eyes were warm, and dark, arousal clear in them.
Namjoon couldn't look away from them. Taehyung was good looking any day of the week but never was he more beautiful than when he looked at somebody with that look he was wearing at that moment.
Fondness, love, arousal and good humour, all mixed together. That was one of the best things and feelings that Namjoon had ever seen on him.
"That just makes both of you guilty! The plan was to finally get to spend all the day together." Namjoon could hear Jungkook's pout, without even being able to see him,
"You were having a stupid argument, I solved it." Namjoon wanted to giggle as an answer, but he never got the chance as Taehyung pressed the lips against each other again, stealing Namjoon's breath away in a downright dirty kiss.
Namjoon was still so easily embarrassed. It didn't matter the fact that he had no shame in watching porn, nor did he have any shame in writing or singing about sex, but actually kissing and doing other stuff. Yeah, that made him blush like a virgin.
Which okay, he had been until a few months ago. So maybe it made sense.
"I want kisses as well!" The complaint was all it really took for all four of them to find their way to the bedroom.
Namjoon loved his boyfriends.
He wasn't sure what he had done to deserve them.
He didn't know how it had ended up like this, but it didn't change the fact that he loved them. That he loved their dynamics and he loved being with them.
They first came out of the bedroom many hours later, all of them in various stages of barely dressed, messed up hair and covered in hickies. Luckily their dogs could not judge them for what they were getting up to in the same way that the rest of their group could.
This time Namjoon did agree to sit on one of their lips, Jungkook's this time, but mainly it was because his poor ass had been taking some... abuse. But the most loving form of abuse that he had ever felt, but in the end, having 3 boyfriends was a bit hard on his poor ass... Still, he loved them and wouldn't have it any other way.
He loved them.
They loved him.
Everything was... perfect.