A shadow falls over Stella as she reaches the blue wall of the pool, her palms pushing against the tiles as she breaks though the surface to tread water.
Faye peers down at her, amusement etched into her features. "Moms said I could find you here," Holding her hand out, she lets her fingers close around Stella's. "Come on; we can't be late for court."
Stella lets herself be pulled up, the scents of the natatorium she's spent so many hours of her life in becoming much more palpable as she's out of the water. Her skin instantly prickles in the humid yet strangely chill room. Once upon a time she'd found the chlorine sunk deep into every crevice of this place—the slippery floors, the textured walls, the worn out hairdryers in the locker rooms—comforting. Now, there's a sense of uneasiness she cannot shake to it as well.
But it's gotten better; a year ago she wouldn't have come here by herself. Thanks to Ms Flores, and equally much herself, now she can.
Baby steps.
There's only another few swimmers here at this hour, doing laps in the pool, and Faye's voice echoes—bounces between the walls and high ceiling—as she shoves a bagel smelling strongly of cream cheese in Stella's face. "Want some?"
Stella scrunches her nose up, palms gently wrenching water out of her hair. "No thanks."
"You've got a pimple on your chin."
Rolling her eyes, Stella shakes her head with a small smile. "You've got coffee on your blouse. Made you look."
"Hit the showers," Faye grabs Stella's towel where it lies discarded atop the starting block, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "We'll be waiting out front."
━ ♡♡♡ ━
As Stella steps out in the warm morning air a moment later, the sun instantly warm on her skin, her lips slip into a sincere smile for the first time since last night. Dropping her chapstick into the side pocket of her duffel-bag, she looks up at Jake where he's leant back against the wall of the building, his lips in a smile—like a beam of light falling on her.
"Morning."
"Good morning," Gently elbowing him, she says, "You survived the night."
Faye rolls her eyes, pushing a paper cup of coffee into Stella's hands. "For you," Then, already heading to the end of the curb to hail them a cab, she calls over her shoulder. "Let's go!"
Stella sips at the coffee, grimacing as she realizes it's lukewarm.
Jake reaches out, tucking an errant strand of her hair behind her ear before slipping her a KitKat bar. "You ready?"
Gathering a breath, Stella's smile widens as she bites into the chocolate. "As ready as I can be," She brushes her fingers over Jake's arm, following Faye by sliding into the backseat of the awaiting car. "Let's go."
━ ♡♡♡ ━
Faye leans close to the wide restroom mirror, humming under her breath as she adjust the hairpins holding back her hair. Shooting Stella a sideways glance through the reflection, her brows draw together.
"Why aren't you happy? We won. Mom's free to do whatever the hell she wants!" Faye turns around, leans back against the sink with a sigh—a cross of relief and defeat at once. "Douchebag One and Two got off way too easy, if you ask me—but mom's going to be fine. We're all going to be fine. And that's good."
Stella turns the faucet off, ripping a paper towel out of the dispenser. "I know."
"So why aren't you happy?"
"I am,"
And she is. She's happy, and she's relieved—but it's all clouded by the conflicted thoughts whirling around in her head.
As she notices the dubious look passing over Faye's features she sighs. "I am. I've just... got a lot on my mind."
Faye stays silent for a beat, mouth tightening as she regards her. "They told you," She lets out an exasperated breath, pushing away from the mosaic counter. "I told mom to wait. I told her to let this pass first, to–"
Stella whirls around on her sandal clad feet, the paper towel crumpled up in her hand. "You knew?"
"I wasn't supposed to," Faye lets her fingers come up to fidget with the collar of her blouse. "I just happened to be there when mom got the call,"
A flickering moment of silence stretches between them, then—her chest moving with her breath, voice small, Faye says, "I don't think you should do it."
Stella's lips twitch in uncertainty, unsure if she heard her sister—her empathetic, diplomatic, fair sister—right. "What?"
With a sigh sounding exhale, Faye rubs her index finger over the bridge of her nose. "I don't think you should testify."
"You don't..." Stella lets out a breath of disbelief as Faye shrugs. Traitorous tears stain her eyes. "So what? You just think he's should get away with it? Again."
"Stella, we don't even know if it'll work."
"So I shouldn't even try?" Stella asks, a warm flush to her skin as her voice grows louder. Pressing her teeth together, she speaks through the lump at the base of her throat. "I thought Donahues aren't quitters?"
"I–" Faye rubs at her temples. "Don't do that."
"Don't do what?"
"You're twisting my words."
"No I'm not. That's what you said; that's what you've—we've—always said: Donahues aren't quitters."
"Well, sometimes it's better to know when to quit."
Stella swivels her gaze to the white ceiling, blinking rapidly. "I can't believe you."
She curls her clammy palms into fists and unravels them again—then she does it another few times. Heart beating hard, she pushes back the angry—yet sad—tears. Until now, she hadn't realized she'd already made up her mind. But now, no matter how hard it may turn out for her, she knows what's right; she knows what she has to do.
"I just want what's best for you." Faye tries—tone impatient as she leans back against one of the bathroom stalls.
"What about the other girls? What about Nadia? What about every other girl that's on their path to Appleton right this moment? What about them?"
"Look, you've been through a lot of heartache in your first twenty-one years on this earth," Faye rolls her lips together. "No one would blame you if you just need a moment to press pause."
"I thought that's what these past years were for?"
Faye hugs her arms around herself. "I don't want you to do it."
"It's not up to you!"
"Stell–"
"They need me. Nadia needs me."
"Well, I need you!" Showing no regard to the hairpins holding it together, Faye pulls her hands through her hair—a watery thickness laced to her words. "You... you don't know what it was like–"
"I don't know what it was like?!" Stella lets out a laugh of disbelief. "I lived it Faye."
"You can't save everyone."
Another, humorless, laugh bubbles up Stella's throat. Because isn't that what Faye has always—her entire life—tried to do?
A stubborn heat burns Stella's chest as she says, "I'm doing this. For them, yes. But for me too. I have a new chance to–"
"No."
"Faye."
Faye shakes her head. "No."
"Who are you? Because this," Stella gestures vaguely between them. "This isn't my sister."
"Stella."
"How can you be so cold about this?!"
"Stella."
"No I want to know. I want to know what your reason is for justifying Marcus," She swallows back a bite of bile as the name leaves her lips. "Being free to walk around like it's nothing. For not wanting me to have this second chance at justice. A chance of being heard. Of having people belie–"
"I almost lost you last time! Okay?!"
Stella flinches as Faye's words cut through the air, bounces against the clinkered walls and gray stone floor.
Streaks of black mascara coats Faye's cheeks as she folds into herself, arms wrapped around her waist. "I don't care how selfish—or evil—it makes me but I refuse to go through that again. Do you have any idea what it was like? Watching you have to go through all that? Watching you fade away into this shell of who you once was? You were gone Stella, and I didn't know if I'd ever get you back."
Stella swallows, hard. "Faye."
"What happened to you," Faye shakes her head. "What happened to Nadia... it's unacceptable. It's sickening. And it makes me furious. I haven't slept in days, that's how angry I am. But—what happened in that courtroom, that's what destroyed you. And I won't let it happen to you again. I just won't."
A tight knot forms in Stella's stomach as she wipes at her eyes. She's not sure if she's trying to convince Faye or herself as she says, "It'll be different this time."
"No it won't!"
They both whirl around as the heavy restroom door's pushed open, only relaxing ever so slightly as they realize it's Jake.
He peeks his head into the room, gaze flickering between the two sisters. "Uhm, hey guys—these walls aren't that soundproof."
Stella sighs, wrapping her arms around herself as she sinks down in a seat against the cold tile wall. "How long have you been stood out there?"
Jake lifts a paper cup of coffee, and Stella recognizes its logo from the cart outside. "Not too long," His eyes flicker from Stella to Faye—who's turned away from them both, shoulders tense as she wipes at her snotty nose. Concern flickers over his features. "Is anyone else in here?"
Stella lets out a dry laugh. "I hope not."
Slipping inside, Jake lets the door fall close behind him. "What's going on?"
Silence stretches over the room, impossible to escape as it bounces between every surface alike a laser maze.
"Stells?" Jake prompts.
Faye lets out a long sigh, folding her legs to her side as she, too, sinks down onto the less than clean floor. She turns to look at Stella, wiping the heel of her hand over her eyes. "I'm sorry."
Stella nods—lips in a faint upward tilt she hopes mirrors the sentiment, then lifts her gaze to look at Jake. "I need to talk to you about something."
━ ♡♡♡ ━
Once Jake's filled in on every part of the conversation Stella had with her mothers the night before, he—sat crouched before her—gently cups Stella's elbow. "I'm here for whatever you want to do."
"She wants to do it."
Jake flickers his gaze to Faye, surprise passing over his features. "You don't think she should?"
"Of course I think she should; I just don't want her to."
Stella lets out a cross of a lingering sob and a short laugh, frowning to herself. "That makes no sense."
Faye shrugs. "It does to me."
"I'm doing it."
"I know," Faye wrenches her hands together. "That's part of why I love you—you're much stronger than I am."
"That's not true," Stella shakes her head. "If it'd been you—thank God it isn't—you wouldn't even have hesitated. That's how I know it's the right thing to do; you taught me it is. Don't tell moms."
Faye's lips twitch up but soon fades into a line of defeat. "I wish I could do it for you—take that weight off your shoulders."
"Weren't you the one who just said we can't save everyone?"
Jake raises his brows, amusement tugging at the corners of his lips. "You said that?"
"Oh shut up."
A small, shared laugh echoes between them.
Drawing a breath into her lungs, Faye brushes her palms over her skirt. "I'm sorry if I overreacted. It's just... It's you and... Want to know what one of my earliest memories is? You'd just been born and you came home and Erin–"
Stella sucks her cheeks in at the mention of their birthmother's name; Faye rarely speaks of her. Stella has no recollection of the woman at all.
"She said: she's so beautiful, it's too bad her head's round like a soccer ball," Faye continues. "And I knew, I couldn't pinpoint those feelings back then—I was too busy playing with my stuffed animals—but that kind of aching swell I felt in my chest? I know now it meant I'd rather die than let anything bad ever happen to you, or your soccer ball head."
Stella lips twitch up, a chortled breath leaving her dry throat. "God, you're so sappy."
Jake shrugs, as if agreeing.
"Point is," Faye says, clearing her throat. "I want nothing more for you than to put that man where he deserves to be, but I'm afraid it might just kill me to watch it all happen to you again."
"It will be different this time," Stella says again. "I can deal with it; you just have to have a little faith in me."
They both turn to look at Jake as he begins to hum the song with the same name absentmindedly under his breath, and his lips slip into a sheepish grin. "Sorry."
Faye blows out a breath. "What about what happened in Acebridge this summer? Do you really think you're ready?"
"So, I'll throw up again—big deal."
"It's not funny."
"I know. That's why I have to do it,"
A sense of peace blankets Stella's heart as she speaks the words. No matter how hard it'll be, she wants this. For herself, for the other girls. It's what she wishes someone would have done for her. Maybe it hadn't been time for them to speak out then, maybe they hadn't been ready. But they are now. And she is too. "But right now, I think we should get up before the moms come looking for us."
Jake straightens up, holding out each of his hands to help Faye and Stella to their feet as well.
Lacing his hand around Stella's forearm, having her pause as she's about to follow Faye out the door, he says, "If you want to stay here with your moms instead of going back–"
Stella shakes her head with a small smile. "No. No, all I really want right now is to go back to the lake house," She turns her gaze to Faye waiting on the threshold of the pushed open door. "Can't you come with us too?"
"Oh," Faye smooths a palm over the creased fabric of her blouse. "No, I think it's best I stay here."
"But I move away soon."
"I know," There's a slight tug of sadness to the upward tilt of Faye's mouth. "But I think maybe I wasn't meant to be at the lake house this summer—you two go."
━ ♡♡♡ ━
Stella's fingertips dig a little deeper into Jake's arms as he pulls her closer, murmuring her name against her lips.
"Mhm?"
Amusement dances over Jake's features at the sound of disappointment leaving her throat as he inches back, looping his thumbs through the belt holes of her denim shorts. "I think we should go on a proper date. Once we're back."
A gust of warm air travels their way as a coach bus sidles up next to them, lightly fluttering Stella's hair. Her lips twitch into a smile, a faint flush to her cheeks. "What? Tagging along to court isn't your idea of an ideal first date?"
"It's been eventful, but not really what I have in mind. So? What do you say?"
Smile growing, Stella bites down lightly at her lip. "Yeah, I'd like that," She presses another kiss to Jake's lips. "A lot."
Jake's smile mirrors hers as he grabs hold of the bag of snacks they've bought for the ride, nodding his head toward the awaiting coach bus and the passengers making their way aboard. "Ready?"
Stella makes a smooth gesture with her hand. "After you."
He shoots her a wink over his shoulder as he steps onto the Greyhound, offering her his hand as she climbs up the steep staircase. Stepping aside, he lets her wander down the aisle to pick out their seats.
Once seated, the magazine she couldn't help but to pick up from the kiosk inside the terminal sticking out of her bag where it's squeezed between her and the window, Stella sinks back into her seat and leans her head on Jake's shoulder. "Freshman year."
"What?"
"The worst date I've ever been on," She clarifies. "High school. Freshman year,"
Jake shifts in his seat, shooting her a sideways glance and Stella's lips twitch up as she brings her palms up to hide her face—a splotch of pink coloring her cheeks.
"I thought you said you never had 'a worse date'?"
"Technically, I didn't lie."
Jake's brows etch together, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. "Okay, let's hear it."
"I already regret this," Stella laughs, biting back a sigh as she slowly lowers her hands. "So I liked this guy—Aaron. And we were going to hang out that night. Neither of us specifically said it was a date, but it was and uhm... I had my clothes picked out and everything,"
She pauses, rolling her lips together. "But it was a really nice day so my teammates and I decided to go to the pool to just hang out for once. And we had a great time... So great I lost track of time and well, as we were heading out of there, I looked at my phone and realized I was late to my date. Like really late. And... I ended up not going."
Jake twists in his seat. "That's your big revelation? You didn't show?"
"That's not the worst part," Stella presses her teeth together, letting out a chortled breath crossed between amusement and embarrassment. "I was feeling really bad about it, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I... I had Faye call—three hours into our supposed meeting time—and cancel on my behalf."
Jake chokes on a laugh. "No."
"Yes."
And then, Jake dissolves into laughter—drawing the attention of several of their co-passengers.
"Stop," Stella laughs as well. "I was fifteen! I didn't know what to do. And Faye let him down very gently, so it's not that bad."
That earns her another guffaw, Jake folding over himself as he wipes a tear of mirth from his eye. "Poor guy."
"Okay, alright—let's not forget you sent a girl face first to the floor."
"At least I was there," Jake wheezes, straightening up. "You're just brutal."
Stella shakes her head, cheeks tightening with her smile. "Yeah yeah, whatever,"
She turns her head out the window to gaze at the views passing them by, absentmindedly slipping her fingers through Jake's.
"One more week."
He squeezes her fingers. "Let's make it last,"
Then, leaning his head back against the seat, he says. "You better show up to our date."
Smiling, Stella looks down at their intertwined hands. "Don't have to worry about that—I wouldn't miss it for the world."
. . .
hi hi hello
I didn't think I'd be done writing this until tomorrow but here we are, yay!
you know the gist:
thank you so (so so) much for all support so far, love you lots, I'll see you next time,
linn