CHAPTER TWO
Who Do You Think You Are?
The fog had covered the surrounding area making it look dark and dim. It covered trees, grass, almost the whole house. Except for the inside, most of it, obviously. Maybe a few broken windows let some in once or twice. Raindrops entered the rooms, most of them had buckets under them, some of them didn't. The house was messy and in not good shape, with leaves blowing everywhere and doors creaking open.
In a room, probably the biggest, there lay a woman. She seemed old. Laying asleep on her very large bed, her breathing labored. At the bottom of the bed to the plain eye would be nothing but a bunch of furniture but to the dead? Well, there were ghosts. All different kinds.
"It won't be long now," Julian said with a slight frown, he had everything but trousers on. It was a suit he was supposed to be wearing. But, er, seems like he didn't want to wear trousers.
On the right of this half-naked man was James McCoy. "At least it's in her sleep." He nodded with a small sad smile. He was dressed in more clothes, by in more I mean a full outfit. He was a detective. A very good one in that matter.
"She had a tremendous innings." The Captain, who was on Julian's left told them all. Unlike the others, Captain was dressed as a war General or something. Looked more serious.
"At least she's comfortable." The old lady's great-grandmother, Lady Button, nodded as she stood. Her dress was grey and her hair was a type of blonde.
"Yeah," Humphrey's head said looking around at the others who were looking down or crouched down. "There are worse ways to go." All the ghosts stood up straight pointing at their marks of death. Pat, a scout leader, had an arrow in his neck. Mary, a girl who looked like a milkmaid or something, was covered in soot and ashes. Thomas, a poet, had a bleeding bullet wound. Humphrey, a ruler, well, had gotten his head sliced off. When James stood up, there were no injuries the same with Captain, Kitty, Lady Button, Julian, and Robin.
"Shh!" Kitty shushed them all making them go quiet. "I think it's happening." She seemed very excited. Making the others slightly happier.
The ghost spirit had risen from her dead cold body, floating just above it. She glowed. Literally glowed, she looked like a torchlight, very blinding at first.
"I think she's going." "Oh, I do hope she stays."
"Tenner says she stays," Julian whispered to Robin, a caveman, who looked to think a bit. Before he agrees with. "Deal."
"I can't see anything," Humphrey said as he lay in his body's arms. "Can you lift me up a bit?" His body lifted him up a bit, but that just made him get dropped on the floor. "Oh, not this again."
"Who are you?" The ghostly voice of the old woman asked the ghosts who looked very happy.
"I am the ghost of your great-grandmother." Lady Button smiled up at her Great-Granddaughter floating in the air.
"We are those poor spirits who dwell on, compelled for reasons unknown..." The woman flew through the roof meaning she had been taken away. Aka she's not staying. "Ah, she's gone."
All the ghosts groaned. "Good on her, actually."
"What's going on? All I can see is shoes." James heard Humphrey's voice ever so slightly before Robin and Julian distracted him.
"You owe me ten." "Oh, no, no. If you listened to what I actually said..." "Oh, don't you start."
"Julian, please... shut the fuck up." James lightly whacked Julian on the chest before putting his hands back in his pockets. "And, yeah, you do owe him a tenner."
"See!" Robin pointed toward the detective, who just smirked as Julian glared. The small argument continued on making Pat shout out.
"Guys, if you please!" He screeched. "Perhaps one of us should say a few words." Pat looked down at the now lifeless body of the old woman.
"Yes, I'll do it." Captain coughed a few times. "Bagsie. Her. Room."
"Cap!" The Detective closed his eyes with slight annoyance as The Captain looked toward him at the mention of his little nickname.
"Oh, she's only just died." "Honestly." The others sighed looking at the Captain who kept taking glances at the man near him.
"Well, I'll wait until they've taken her away of course." Captain looked around at the others with some sort of look. James shook his head, not helping the small smile on his face. I mean, fair enough.
"She was the last Button of Button House." Lady Button looked down at the lifeless body like the others did. Silently sad inside. Before Thomas... started what ever he usually did.
"The last Button of Button House died today. Though we're she goes, we cannot say." Thomas walked forward, starting to give another of his very dramatic speeches aka poems. The ghosts groaned all walking away while James finally heard Humphrey's voice when he was almost out the door. So he rushed back picking him up. "Her life, ''twas like.."
James practically ran through the wallpapered wall with Humphrey's head in his arms. "Hey, where do you want me to put you?" James sighed.
Humphrey smiled while speaking. "Next to my body. Thank you, James." James placed Humphrey in his body's hands making the body feel his face. The man let a small snort escape as he watched the body poke Humphrey's head in the eye. The head let out small mutters before being put back on the body once again. "Ah! Whole once again."
"Looking great." James winked with a smile. "Have a good time..." he looked the man up and down. "...attached to your body... right, well, goodbye."
"Bye!" Humphrey's voice echoed out as James walked through the wall that entered his room. Reaching into his pocket, James grabbed his notepad. He thought for a moment before scribbling something down... soon he began scribbling it out again. He heard a distant scream then bump. Humphrey. He let out a small chuckle at the sound.
While the others were downstairs, James sat in his very plain and boring room. The same exact room the man had died in. Originally, he stayed in the room the Captain now stayed in. He didn't get a garden view, so, very surprisingly, Captain offered to let him have his room.
"God, I wish I had vodka." He groaned slightly as he sat on his bed. "Also a sandwich..."
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"Ideally, you want it about five potatoes high," Mary explained holding her hands up the same height as five potatoes. It was some sort of club they did almost every day. "This one' going to have mud on it, but you don't have to 'ave mud on it. This is the tip." James felt his lips try to curl into a smile at the way she described. He turned to the side, covering his mouth with his hand as he tried not to laugh.
"We insert the tip into the split." All the ghosts copied what she said. Another small muffled chuckled escaped his lips causing him to close his eyes as he stifled his laugh. "Then repeat the process until you be done." Mary started clapping with a smile making everybody else do the same. Pat stood up with a smile next to Mary.
"Right, lovely talk of the day from Mary today. I think I can safely say if we had any wicker, or indeed we could touch anything, we could all make a pretty rad-looking basket." Pat smiled at the group who all either stood around, Captain, or sat on the couch, Kitty, Lady B, Thomas, and James. "Maybe next week, please, we'd all be very interested to hear about the trial. The witch trial..." Mary walked back to her seat on the couch. "Too soon? When you're ready."
He coughed. "So, Tomorrow is food club! When Kitty will be telling us all about the first time she ate an egg."
"I actually didn't like it." Kitty smiled a toothy grin.
"All right, Kitty. Well, save it for tomorrow, please. Give us something to look forward to. And then on Wednesday, Julian has volunteered to make a speech."
"Yes, my by-election victory speech. '91." Julian fixed his tie still sitting on the couch in front of the chessboard that Robin was on the other side of. "Very inspiring, very long, and a few smutty jokes to keep it light."
"Good lord..." James placed his elbows on his knees and put his face in his palms with a groan. Looking up he realized the Captain was now in the center of the room instead of Pat.
"Right, AOB? Any other business?" Both Robin and Julian raised their hand to which Captain ignored. "Well, I have got something, actually. Now ever since I moved rooms, I've been woken every night by you, Fanny, screaming like a mad person."
"Sorry." James gave the man a sorry smile. He was the main reason the Captain had to switch rooms. Captain looked at him before shaking his head with a smile, dismissing it as not his fault. "Sorry."
"Well, I don't think I do!" Fanny was in disbelief as James fell backward, throwing his head back groaning.
"At least I'm not the one who said it." He groaned before he looked back forward, watching the scene unfold.
"I always thought that was an owl," Kitty stated with a bright smile making everybody turn to her with disbelief and shock.
"An owl? Do you know what an owl sounds like?" Thomas looked at her while James rubbed his eyes still leaning back.
"Well, now I don't think so."
"It has got to stop!" Captain yelled.
Fanny stood up from the sofa looking in some sort of disbelief. "Look, this is my house and I shall do what I like." She had a point. Except it used to be her house, soon it'll be some random man's, lady's or person's house.
"Eh. It was mine first." Robin raised his hand.
"No, that's the land, not the house." She told him making Robin mimic her voice making faces.
Standing up, Thomas shouted. "Well, I wish you would all hush. I cannot do my work with all this agitation." James covered his right ear as Thomas yelled. Jeez, didn't have to be that loud, mate.
"Work? You haven't done a day's work in your life, or death." Thomas leaned back with a hurtful look to what Julian had just said before Kitty stood up.
"He's an Artist. He's ahead of his time."
"Oh, he can't still be ahead of his time, Kitty." After that James just stood up then walked towards the window letting the others all argue. Well, up until Robin screamed.
"ARGH!" Robin screamed gaining everybody's attention and making them all shut up. "It's simple. You swap rooms. You go up top, you come ground floor and no jumpy. Then James can stay in his room."
"Right." Fanny looked around as James nodded at the idea before looking back out the extremely dirty window. "Well, that would suit me, I think."
"Yeah, that could work." Captain agreed looking down at the floor.
Everybody turned to James while he nodded in agreement. "I suppose it is a good idea. Good idea, Robin."
"Not just a pretty face." He licked his lip before turning back to the chessboard.
"Well, quite," Fanny said.
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That night, Fanny still screamed at the top of her lungs when the clock struck.
As usual, James awoke. Even though he was dead, it felt like the man was sweating with complete and utter fear. He panted as he wiped his forehead, though nothing was removed as he, in fact, was dead.
He awoke for a reason. Not because of the screaming, because of nightmares. He got them almost every night, sometimes he would get an almost perfect sleep, then... bang. It was always the same. His father. The news James got when he, his father, died. Then it went to him entering the house, Button house, he sees glowing eyes and the sound of a scream then... he awakes.
He decided to just stay up. Writing in the notebook he had died with. Mostly writing about his family. Oh, he missed his family. He didn't even know if they were still alive...
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