TRIGGER WARNING :: Harassment
"Happy birthday, Risha!" The woman gave me a kiss on my cheek. She also handed me a Gucci bag as her present. According to her presence, she looks like she's already in the 40's or 50's. Mom is a friend with her, I guess.
"Thank you," I simply replied back. All of my visitors are actually greeting me. Gairel, Drina, Victoria and Gwen. All of them are here except for Zara since she's on the Vigan.
I was kind of somber because she is not here, but then I remember Zara greeted me on the voice message so I feel okay now.
"Happy birthday, ate! As always you look so gorgeous!" Rianne said as she complimented me with her smile, giving me a thumbs up as well. Nakasalubong ko siya sa party ko. Sa tingin ko ay mayroon siyang hinihintay dito. I just rolled my eyes as I walked past on her then ignored her.
I'm wearing my blue v-neck sequin formal dress. It's actually what my parents wants me to wear for my birthday party. Of course, it's fine for me to wear this. After all, this dress is kind of good looking and this dress fits me so perfectly.
"Ikaw birthday girl, ah! May tinatago ka pala sa amin, ah!" Victoria approached me as she wrapped her hands around my left arm. Am I her prince charming or something? Tsk! Umarangkada na naman itong gagang 'to.
"Sabi ng kapatid mo na si Rianne ay ikakasal ka na raw?! Totoo ba 'yun? Grabe! For real?! Oh my god! Ang isang Risha ay magpapakasal na!" What the fuck?
So Rianne told them, huh? Kahit kailan talaga ang daldal ng batang iyon! "I-I was planning to tell all of you, but I--"
"Oh my god, Risha! So totoo nga?!" Victoria started to scream out of the blue. Fuck! Will you please shut up? I'm not fucking done yet.
"It's a force marriage, Vic! And yes, I'm getting married soon so I'm planning to break it down! Ayaw ko pang ikasal, Vic! Kailangan ko munang makilala 'yung lalaking papakasalan ko. Isa pa, baka pareho kaming dalawa na ayaw pang magpakasal. He might help me to break it down or something and--"
"Sinong hindi papayag sa'yo?! I mean, duh! Look at yourself, girl! You're so hot and gorgeous! Baka nga kapag naging lalaki ako, ikaw na ang gusto kong pakasalan!"
Hindi sulit ang teenager life ko kung papayag na ako kaagad sa kasal na 'yan! Amputa! Sana madisgrasya 'yung mga Isles family nang hindi na sila matuloy sa birthday party ko! Baka sakaling matauhan sila kapag nadisgrasya sila.
Victoria suddenly shooked my arm. She also pointed her index finger on my parents' table. I looked at where it is and I saw how they are smiling with someone's family. I looked through upon them and they looks so rich to judge. They're so expensive like they know their standards very well. Iyon na siguro ang Isles family.
"Tawag ka ng parents mo, girl! Mukhang 'yan na 'yung pamilya ng pakakasalan mo!" I just shrugged it off instead of getting mad at her.
"Happiest birthday ulit, girl! Goodluck sa marriage, ah! Sana nga ikasal ka na talaga!" At siya ay lumakwatsa na pagkatapos niyang isigaw iyon. Nagsimula na akong maglakad patungo sa lamesa ng parents ko.
Fuck you, Vic! Sana tumanda kang dalaga! Hindi ko alam kung ano ang trip mo ngayong birthday ko! Kaibigan ba talaga kita? Inamo.
"Meet our gorgeous daughter, Risha Xandra Tanquile. Our soon to be a model on France. She is our dearest first daughter. We're hoping that your son of yours has a interest to love her dearly." Who said I will be a model on France soon? There's no way! I wanted to be a flight attendant together with Zara, duh! It's our dream together.
I grabbed myself a drink as I gazed the random man in front of me. Okay, not bad. He's kind of good looking, but the man on the bar who helped me is nothing to compared with him. He's more good looking and why the hell am I comparing them? Umiling ako at ininom ang hawak kong wine glass.
"Of course, I will. I know your daughter for a long time, Mr. and Mrs. Tanquile. Well, I couldn't do anything actually but to admire her from a far just like the moon, who people loves to admire it despite of it's beauty... since she's too pretty hard to reach." That's what the man formally said without hesitation on his voice. Gosh, he's so corny! Sigurado akong madaldal siya parang si Rianne!
Turn-off sa akin ang mga lalaking madadaldal, actually. Gusto ko sa lalaking tahimik. 'Yung mas malamig pa sa yelo at walang pakialam sa buhay. Pakiramdam ko kasi parang challenging talaga 'yung mga ganoong klaseng lalaki para sa akin.
"What an honor, Mr. Isles. Thank you for that, but I'm sorry to say this. Well, first of all... I'm not interested to this kind of stuffs like marriage or whatever. I hope you understand that I don't want to get married yet. Secondly, marriage is not my thing and last, I decide who I will love in the future," I said right after drinking the glass of wine. Dad suddenly looked at me like he's starting to get mad or something. I only rolled my eyes on his reaction.
I was about to go because I was thinking it's just a waste of my time coming to my parents' table, but someone fetched my arms.
"Hey, please. I'm not forcing you so don't do this, okay? I'm willing to wait and if you're ready, then we can finally--"
"Actually from the beginning, I am so turn-off by your actions, Mr. Isles. I can't marry you and I hope you're going to break it as well like I did just now. I was actually expecting that you won't like this situation, but why is that? What's up with you people? Why the fuck all of you are doing this?! Oo, pangarap ko rin namang ikasal, pero hindi force marriage at kapag handa na ako! Do you get what I mean, Mr. Isles? I also hate modeling if my parents told you that thing! All of their decisions is--"
"What do you think you're doing!" It was not a question. Dad definitely shouted. He smashed his two hands on the table, revealing that he's actual mad now.
"What do you think, dad? I'm just doing the right thing for pete's sake! I'm correcting it by making my party ruin because of what you did and mom, too. You and mom are so hella' obssess on money! Yes, we may be rich, dad. Pero hindi pa ba iyon sapat?! Mom and dad, please! Please! Wake up your souls, please! You both are just doing this because of your fucking--"
"People are staring, Risha! You crazy brat! Don't try to ruin your own birthday party!" Mom slapped me across my face. Because of what my mom did, the people's attention are all on us now. This is all their fault! Not mine's!
"My whole life as your mother! Our whole life as your parents, Risha! Hindi kami nagkulang sa'yo! Pinakain ka namin, pinalaki ng maayos, pinag-aral at binigyan ng magandang buhay! Halos binigay-bigay namin lahat ng mga pangangailangan mo! Ano pa ba ang gusto mo, anak?!" Isa lang ang gusto kong mangyari! Kung hindi man isa, dalawa lang! Ang hindi matuloy ang kasal at ang pagiging flight attendant ko balang araw! Hindi para maging model sa France! Flight attendant, mom!
Ang maging flight attendant kasama si Zara. Ang kaso nga lang ay wala na si Zara sa aking tabi! Wala na! Sira na ang lahat dahil nasa Vigan na siya! Hindi na niya ako sasamahan sa pangarap ko! Hinding-hindi na...
"Don't you dare say that because it creates me an unhappiness, mom! My whole life, mom. Desiring my own free will and my own happiness are all nothing... but a karma. You are making your own daughter suffer and it's all because of the mistakes you have done together with dad! Sa akin bumabalik lahat ng mga iyon nang dahil sa inyo! Sa anak niyo bumabalik lahat ng mga iyon... na kailanman ay hindi niyo man lang nagawang suportahan kahit isang beses..." I sobbed as I spoked my last line. Tears are falling into my eyes now and I think my makeup is all ruined, too.
I feel it, actually. I'm sure the black eye liner is all over on my cheeks now. Wow... just wow. I actually become an ugly witch in front of everyone.
Hindi ko napigilang hindi umalis ng mansyon. Tumakbo ako palabas hanggang sa dalahin ako ng mga paa ko sa isang kalsada. I couldn't help but to hugged myself as I cried again and again. Kasabay ng pag-iyak ko ang pagbuhos ng ulan nang biglaan. Niyakap ko ang sarili ko sa kawalan dahil doon. My eyes are now blurry as I look everywhere. Probably, because of my tears. This numerous tears came from my heart, wholeheartedly.
Nevertheless, I don't want to go back on that mansion anymore. Even if it's my home, I still don't want to step on it. It destroys me inside and my inside is now becoming weaker and weaker.
Whenever I remember Zara, the inside of me preserves me strong. 'Yung feeling na wala siya rito ngayon sa tabi mo, pero sa tuwing naaalala at naiisip mo siya para kang lumalakas nang dahil lang doon.
Ang ayaw ko sa lahat ay iyong natatalo ako...
Tsk, sa ayaw kong magpakasal at mag-model sa France, may magagawa ba sila roon? Wala naman 'di ba? Hindi nila ako pagmamay-ari! Pamilya lang nila ako na pinalaki kaya sa ayaw at gusto nila ay hindi nila ako mapipilit sa mga ninanais nila! Hindi nila ako pagmamay-ari para ibigay sa iba o 'di kaya ay pilitin upang magpakasal sa taong hindi ko naman kilala o kaano-ano!
Kahit anong mangyari, nasa sa akin pa rin ang desisyon dahil ako ito. Pagmamay-ari ko itong sarili ko dahil ako ang nakakaramdam sa lahat ng mga gusto kong gawin, hindi sila...
"It's you again, huh?" I turned myself around as I looked at the man who spoked. He is the man from the bar. He is wearing a black formal attire. Wait, is he attending on my birthday party or something? He also have an umbrella on his left hand since it's raining right now.
"Give my cellphone back," I simply said, but he didn't do anything.
"Bakit ka ba nagpapa-ulan dito? Baka magkasakit ka niyan. Hindi ba dapat nasa loob ka ngayon para mag-celebrate?" he asked as he approached me, sharing his umbrella on me. I'm already wet here, though. What's the purpose of your umbrella?
"Just chill. Today is your birthday, okay? I'm one of the Isles' family, actually. I do know you're going to marry my cousin soon." Lumaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. Ang poging lalaking ito ay isa ring Isles?
"O-Oh, I see. So alam mo rin pala 'yung tungkol doon..." Kung totoo nga na isa siya sa mga Isles family, binabawi ko na 'yung mga sinasabi ko noon sa bar. Tangina, ang malas ko!
Ayaw ko sa mga Isles.
"Yes, I know about it. That's one of the reason why I approached you on the bar since you are my cousin's future wife," he answered, elucidating that it's an advantageous reason why. I bit my lower lip as I suddenly feel like... guilty or something. Probably, because of my thoughts!
'Yung iniisip ko na lasing din siya... na nilapitan niya ako dahil malakas ang dating ko para sa kaniya, pero hindi naman pala! Okay, I finally get it! He did that for a reason! That's for his own cousin, but for god sake why would the fuck he care about that? P'wede namang hayaan na niya lang ako roon sa bar! Ano namang akala niya sa akin? Mahina? Aba'y pare-pareho sila, ah!
Once an Isles family, talagang Isles family nga talaga...
"Tss! So you're an Isles as well? How dare you kiss me on the bar? Kung para iyon sa bwiset mong pinsan, bakit mo ako hinalikan? E'di para mo na rin siyang tinraydor, 'di ba?" He didn't answer my question so I think it's his yes because silence means yes. It's always been that. Shit! Akala ko naka-jackpot na ako sa lalaki, pero isang Isles pala ang bumungad sa bar! Kung ganiyan lang din, huwag na lang!
"You're asking me too much, why is that? Well, yes. I kissed you on the bar because of the lips of yours attracts me. It's just... kinda tasty, you know. Not my fault, okay? Though, because you're the one who kissed me first. Well, I'm so glad you kissed me. I can only say my cousin is too lucky to have you since the both of you are going to get married and--"
"Shut the fuck up, you jerk! Just give my cellphone back!" I almost freak out as I started to shout at him. Ayaw kong makipag-usap dahil pagod na ako sa araw na ito! Birthday ko nga, pero ang pangit naman ng kinalabasan!
I guess this is the worst birthday ever!
He pursed his lips as he sighed and then said, "Don't worry, I will give it back to you. Just please calm down, okay? People will think that I am a thief or something because of you." He started to took something on his pocket and it's my phone. I rolled my eyes as I immediately get it on his right hand.
"People won't think that if you didn't stole my phone in the first place," I replied back while glaring. Balak ko na sana siyang iwan doon pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon.
"You can go to my condo unit. I know you are bad mood as I observed you. Just take my offer, please. Kaysa sa umuwi ka sa inyo. Lalo lang lalala ang sitwasyon niyo roon. Kung may binabalak ka mang magpunta sa mga kaibigan mo, huwag kang magsisi kung sila man ay--"
"Tangina mo. Kalalaki mong tao tapos napaka-daldal mo," I groaned so hard after that because of his nonsense words. Before creating some bad habits to him, I realized something.
"Okay, fine. Where is your condo unit?" In this case, I think it's an advantageous idea. Alam kong hindi dapat ako basta-bastang nagtitiwala, pero mukhang desperada na talaga ako. Bahala na munang hindi ako umuwi sa ngayon. Gusto kong mapag-isa at gusto kong manahimik kahit hanggang bukas lang. For sure naman hindi ko na makakasama itong lalaking ito once na umuwi na ako bukas.
Pogi man siya, ngunit ayaw ko na sa kaniya dahil isa siyang Isles. I already sense that he's rich. He has his own condo unit for pete's sake where to reside by himself. Conversely, it's so fucking detrimental to live with my betrayal family! It's their own loss if ever they need me there!
I badly want to ask them how could they bring me a deepest scar and not willing to support me as their own daughter. I wanted to reiterate my own fucking sincerity if needed be. I wanted to remind them that I hate force marriage and modeling.
They should learn how to accept my decisions in my life! Yes, I'm their daughter, but my decision will still remain on me because my life is mine, not theirs.
"Okay, you can now go to my car. Let me drive you there so you can have a good rest. Despite of your worries and tiredness, you are safe with me." That's the last thing he said before I found myself following him.