Clueless ✷ Isaac Lahey

By eImstreets

62K 3.6K 8.4K

who needs affection when i have blind hatred? ISAAC LAHEY. © eImstreets (sporadic updates) teen wolf... More

Clueless!
o. Preface━━Introducing the Gang
VOL i: Stifling and Suffocating...
i. Lacrosse is Just Soccer for Hippies
ii. Bitter, Party of Two!
iii. Scott and His Terrible Taste in Best Friends
iv. Isaac vs Sarah: Who Will Win?
v. Scarf Wearing Satan
vi. Two (or Three) Pretty Best Friends
vii. The World's Best Jawline
viii. First Rule of Fight Club
ix. Dancing Queen
x. Mediating and Moon Landings
xi. Sarah Cho, the Picture of Health
xii. Not Totally Iniquitous
xiii. We Are the Champions, My Friends
xiv. When Hell Freezes Over
xv. A Simple (Well, Not Really) Favor
xvi. Sarah and Her Cynophobia
xvii. Dog Days Are Over (Thanks, Isaac!)
xviii. Ice Clowning Around
xix. Back Aboard the Scisaac Train
VOL ii: You Are Falling For Me, Aren't You?
xx. Sarah Smiles, Isaac Swoons
xxi. The Art of Deflating the Male Ego!
xxii. On October 3rd, He Asked Me What Day it Was
xxiii. BOGO Scarves and Beloved Funko Pops
xxiv. Baby Bi Bi Bi!
xxv. The Basics of Playing Cupid
xxvi. Matching Halloween Costumes
xxvii. Friendly Competition and Milf Cereal
xxviii. Fruity Flirtations
xxx. Virtual Haunted House Non-Dates
xxxi. Everyone's Entitled to One Good Scare
xxxii. Woefully Underutilized Calendars
xxxiii. Pineapple Pizza
xxxiv. Prison Breaks and Movie Nights
xxxv. Sarah Cho, Resident Babe
xxxvi. Darcy Day!
xxxvii. When in Doubt: Deny, Deny, Deny
xxxviii. No Chardonnay Today
xxxix. Proper Party Attire (a Guide by Sarah)
xl. From Berkeley to Beacon
xli. What Happens on the Lacrosse Field...
xlii. The Great Trivial Pursuit Rematch
xliii. Sleepless in Beacon Hills
xliv. For the Girls

xxix. It's A Friendship Thing!

767 63 339
By eImstreets


(vol ii.)—
TWENTY NINE: IT'S A FRIENDSHIP THING!

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group chat  ━━  girlz n motion
[ 6 participants ]

the first shadysider . . . sarah
dr. darcy lewis . . . darcy
sarah's gf (REAL) . . . allison
lydia deetz . . . lydia
not nick wilde . . . kira
mean girls' pr manager . . . malia




dr. darcy lewis
hello girlies how's everyone
doing today!!!


the first shadysider
darcy being nice? that's new


dr. darcy lewis
you don't have to say that every time
i'm remotely polite you know


the first shadysider
yes i do

it's such a rare occurrence

like a blue moon or getting struck
by lightning


dr. darcy lewis
you're so needlessly dramatic

and anyways there are no men here of
course i'm nice now!!


the first shadysider
ok ok i can get on board with that


dr. darcy lewis
thank you for your cooperation

wait who changed our names


lydia deetz
malia and i did


mean girls' pr manager
yeah

they were so boring before


dr. darcy lewis
they were our names


mean girls' pr manager
exactly


not nick wilde
well they're so cute guys!!

i love them ☺️


the first shadysider
me too!

malydia you have outdone yourselves


dr. darcy lewis
why must you combine everyone's
names


the first shadysider
because it's less work than typing out
both of them?? oh em gee


lydia deetz
says the girl who goes out of her way
to phonetically spell out omg???


the first shadysider
lydia do you think that just because
you're sexy i won't fight you??

because i will

i'm a black belt i can do it!!!!


lydia deetz
sorry all i got from that is that you
think i'm sexy!!


the first shadysider
ahh a woman who has her priorities
straight, i see


lydia deetz
well i just figured something about me
ought to be straight


the first shadysider
oh ok i'll drink to that 🥂


dr. darcy lewis
wait, someone explain kira's name


the first shadysider
yeah i was actually wondering that
myself

i do love zootopia but i'm failing to
see the correlation between nick wilde
and kira


mean girls' pr manager
it's because kira's a fox


lydia deetz
oh no


not nick wilde
malia!!! honey!!!


dr. darcy lewis
come again?


the first shadysider
kira is a what now??

OH is it because fox is slang for hot and
kira's hot (respectfully 💖💞💓)??


not nick wilde
aww ☺️


mean girls' pr manager
well i mean

she is hot


lydia deetz
yep!! you've guessed it, sar!!


the first shadysider
ok cool what's my prize 🤲🏼


lydia deetz
my love


the first shadysider
that's nice but i was actually hoping
for something i can buy funko pops
and new earrings with


lydia deetz
you get my love or nothing


the first shadysider
here's the thing

can your love buy me this


lydia deetz
no but my money can and christmas
is coming up


the first shadysider
omg lydia have i mentioned how pretty
you look today?!?!

i can't see you but i know 😌


lydia deetz
too late i have no interest in gold
diggers!!!!

darcy you get my love instead i like
you more than sarah


dr. darcy lewis
i like you more than sarah too <3


the first shadysider
so it's true what they say... hot girls
ARE mean...


mean girls' pr manager
you're hot too


the first shadysider
yeah but everyone knows i'm mean

i embrace it

it's part of my charm


not nick wilde
you're not mean to me!!


the first shadysider
that's different

you're impossible to be mean to


lydia deetz
points were made


dr. darcy lewis
if someone is mean to kira: 🚩🚩🚩
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


not nick wilde
i feel loved :)


mean girls' pr manager
good


the first shadysider
kira if anyone is ever mean to you just
let me know!!!

i don't know archery so i can't shoot a
bow and arrow like allison but like i
said i'm a black belt 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼


mean girls' pr manager
really

you hadn't mentioned


dr. darcy lewis
sarah takes every chance she gets to
remind people that she knows karate
as compensation for being short to
keep people from underestimating
her

you get used to it


the first shadysider
omfg do i need to fight you darcy??

i'm a black belt u know 🙄


dr. darcy lewis
see


the first shadysider
jokes aside, now that i've mentioned
allison i would like to know why she's
MIA??

i'm missing my gf u guys


sarah's gf (REAL)
oh i'm here


the first shadysider
omg finally hi babe 💓💖💞


sarah's gf (REAL)
hello sexy 🥰


dr. darcy lewis
if you've been here the whole time why
have you been silently lurking for the past
five minutes🧍🏼‍♀️


sarah's gf (REAL)
i have my reasons


lydia deetz
oh that doesn't sound good

surely nothing good can come of this


not nick wilde
yeah this is probably gonna be bad


mean girls' pr manager
mhm yup yup don't trust her for one
minute


the first shadysider




dr. darcy lewis
oh boy

she's right tho hot girls can do whatever
they want


lydia deetz
no one is disagreeing with that sentiment

however i'd still love to know what exactly
she's been planning because i know it's
something


sarah's gf (REAL)
what's makes you think that


lydia deetz
because i know you


the first shadysider
that's gay


dr. darcy lewis
you're gay


the first shadysider
so true!!!

gay 4 allison 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼


mean girls' pr manager
ok there's a lot going on right now


lydia deetz
no matter how gay you are for her i
am imploring you not to ask her any
further questions


sarah's gf (REAL)
quit trying to stifle me lydia! that's
homophobic!


lydia deetz
baby i'm a lesbian


sarah's gf (REAL)
ok allisonphobic then?

someone please ask me further questions
omg i have something i need to share!!!


lydia deetz
NO ONE ask her any further questions!


dr. darcy lewis
ok gonna have to side with lydia on this
one i think

allison ily but i'm slightly worried


sarah's gf (REAL)
cowards

malira!!! please tell me you guys want
to know!!!


mean girls' pr manager
on one hand i am curious

but on the other hand i have no interest
in getting involved with any of this

so no


not nick wilde
sorry allison but i'm refraining too :(


sarah's gf (REAL)
that's fine! no biggie! all good!




the first shadysider
i wanna know !!!

sorry to lydia but i'm different


lydia deetz
SARAH


the first shadysider
WHAT? i'm nosy omg

allison please share with the class i would
love to know what you're wanting to tell
us


sarah's gf (REAL)
oh sarah

i am SO glad to hear you, of all people,
be the one to say that!


the first shadysider
oh no

how quickly is this going to backfire
on me


sarah's gf (REAL)
i don't know, give it a minute or two


dr. darcy lewis
oh this may actually end up being fun


mean girls' pr manager
extremely


the first shadysider




sarah's gf (REAL)
SO

you guys know how i was over at scott's
place hanging out with isaac last night?


mean girls' pr manager
nope


lydia deetz
yeah you never mentioned that


not nick wilde
i didn't know either


sarah's gf (REAL)
oh

well i was over at scott's place hanging
out with isaac last night

we ordered pizza and when the delivery
guy got here and isaac went to go pay
him, i had every intention to post stupid
things from his twitter account (as friends
do)

but then i noticed something VERY
interesting that stopped me!!!


the first shadysider
wow what a great story allison thanks
so much for sharing <3

who wants to play crazy eights?


dr. darcy lewis
why are you cutting her off before
she finishes her story....


lydia deetz
she must know where this is going!!!

we, however, do not so please continue
allison


sarah's gf (REAL)
gladly!!

so isaac's lockscreen really piqued my
interest

the lockscreen in question, you ask?




not nick wilde
oh my god!!!


mean girls' pr manager
woah that's sarah


lydia deetz
now hold on a minute????


dr. darcy lewis
interesting...


the first shadysider
who's the girl she's hot


dr. darcy lewis
cute attempt at denial

allison i change my mind i'm very glad
you ended up sharing this with us


lydia deetz
me too


the first shadysider
that's nice

meanwhile i regret every decision i
made today after nine am


dr. darcy lewis
you weren't even awake until almost
ten


the first shadysider
yes the waking up part was my first
poor decision

allison how could you do this to me
i thought we had something special!!!


sarah's gf (REAL)
i'm sorry sarah but i just really wasn't
expecting this?? like i know you guys
are friends now but this seems a little...
more than platonic🧍🏻‍♀️

so naturally i took a screenshot of his
lockscreen from his phone and texted it
to myself then deleted aforementioned
screenshot so he wouldn't find out


the first shadysider
oh so isaac gets to be excluded from this
meanwhile i'm subjected to such public
forms of humiliation?

seems a little misogynistic idk!!!!


mean girls' pr manager
you really have a talent for pulling
nonsense out of your ass


the first shadysider
thank you <3

anyways can we just drop the subject
please it's not that big of a deal


lydia deetz
not a big deal???

sar you're his lockscreen


not nick wilde
yeah i really don't want it to feel like
we're ganging up on you i promise but
i think you may be downplaying it a
little

i'm sorry 😭


the first shadysider
i will literally fight all of you and win 👊🏼

i'm sorry but i'm failing to see what all
the fuss is about? he's my lockscreen too


dr. darcy lewis
...repeat please?


the first shadysider

see


lydia deetz
ok sarah

sweetheart darling honey

that is a very coupley thing to do


the first shadysider
oh my god it's not like that!!

scott and i were snapchatting and he sent
me that picture of isaac so i took a screenshot
and i told isaac i was gonna use it as my
lockscreen

then he said it's only fair he gets to use
me as his so i sent him that picture

we were just messing around


sarah's gf (REAL)
"it's not like that" she says, before
proceeding to explain why it was, in
fact, exactly like that


the first shadysider
P U S H Y


mean girls' pr manager
what did he say when you sent him that
picture


the first shadysider
i don't know he just said it was pretty


not nick wilde
aww ☺️


lydia deetz
ahh i see just more messing around
between two best buddies!!


the first shadysider
shut UP you are so annoying 😭

and anyways why is everyone freaking
out over him calling me pretty like guys
that's not him flirting it's just him stating
a fact

i'm a solid ten 🕺🏻


dr. darcy lewis
it's a good thing isaac likes you because
i sure do a lot less after that


the first shadysider
alright look i just really think you're all
making this out to be a bigger deal than
it actually is

sam and darcy were my lockscreen prior
to this so does that mean we have crushes
on each other?


dr. darcy lewis
ok that picture was a stupid one of sam
and i in one of those cardboard things
that you put your faces in for photos at
the fair

it was NOT a picture where we looked
really attractive that you clearly just
wanted an excuse to look at whenever
you want to


lydia deetz
darcy i think it may be beneficial for
you to look up "sugarcoating" in the
dictionary


the first shadysider
or "lobotomy!"

guys i would really appreciate it if we
could just stop talking about this since
it's pretty clear we have no chance at
agreeing on what this means (which is
NOTHING)


not nick wilde
you're right, we were being pushy

i'm really sorry sarah!


the first shadysider
it's fine, really

just as long as you promise to drop it


dr. darcy lewis
we promise

i'm sorry, sar


sarah's gf (REAL)
and i'm sorry for bringing it up the way i
did


the first shadysider
it's ok

i'm just glad it's over


mean girls' pr manager
what's a lobotomy







author's note: omfg this turned out way longer than intended and it's also really weird like?? idk it's just some of the lines were really... weird lol that's the best word i can come up with apparently but yeah i'm not sure how i feel about this but i hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless!! anyways, shoutout to JENSNEEDY for suggesting kira's contact name <3

oh also!! look at this memes i made that i want to share for no reason other than me thinking they're funny!!

if you haven't seen parks and rec you may not know this meme but anyways i just thought it was funny 👍🏼

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