"Are you sure about this?" Daryl questioned with an eyebrow cocked. With difficulty, I rose to my feet and eyed him, slightly annoyed. Selena sat on the sofa across from us, her eyes filled with worry and doubt as she looked at me.
Judith napped on the couch beside me while Thad sat on the floor, playing with blocks and blissfully unaware of what was happening around him. My stomach protruded from my hips, making it difficult to see anything below it. The baby was active, kicking me in different places each time—almost as if it knew I was about to do something stupid and trying to stop me. My lower back screamed at me off and on, and my stomach felt shockwaves of that pain, making me grit my teeth, but that wasn't enough to deter me.
"I need to go out there before I'm stuck inside for another six months to a year," I stated. Daryl looked at Selena and shared the same worried look with her before returning to me.
"June, I don't think you should go out there," I let out an angry breath and continued to glare at the man in front of me, "You can barely get up. What if something happens out there, and we have to run? You can't do that,"
"I want to go out there," I snapped, "I need to," My heart hammered in my chest as my thoughts started to fill with images of Rick. He's been gone for about nine months – nine long, grueling, heartbreaking months. He missed Thad's first birthday. He missed Judith's fourth birthday. He missed the entirety of this pregnancy. None of it is his fault—whatever happened out there that fateful day isn't anyone's fault, something I have to keep reminding Daryl about. But that doesn't mean that it isn't hard.
As my pregnancy progressed, Daryl has tried his hardest to be there for Thad and Judith, and I'm sure it will continue once this new baby is born, but he's also consumed with thoughts that Rick might be out there somewhere.
"It's just a quick and simple run," Selena spoke, "There's no reason to go out there, June." I shook my head and blinked away any tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. I sucked in a deep breath as another cramp slowly built up and placed a hand on the peak of my stomach.
"If it's going to be quick and easy, then it shouldn't be a problem for me to go out there," Selena sighed and buried her head into her hands, obviously fed up with how stubborn I was being.
"Alright, I'm just gonna say it," Daryl muttered, "There's no way you're going out there. You were fine a few days ago, but ever since you came back from Hilltop, it's like ya've been losing your shit. " I glared at him, my eyes filling with tears again. He's right; I've been spiraling lately, but I won't let him talk me out of this. "I've been up and down the area, and nothing's turned up. You just gotta accept that he's gone, and you gotta—"
"Yeah, like you have?" I snarled, annoyed with his hypocrisy, "You're the one that leaves for weeks trying to find any signs of him." I paused as my voice wavered, "He's out there. I know it. I'm not going to give up cause I know he wouldn't give up if the roles were reversed. Now, you're taking me out there today, and we'll get what we need, search the area a little bit, and stop by the bridge. Then we'll come back home so I can be with my children and get ready to pop," I turned to Selena and motioned to the children playing on the floor, "Michonne should be here within the hour to help you with the kids. She's still not feeling the best, so please help her out."
"You don't even have to ask," Selena weakly smiled at me, "We're not going to change your mind, are we?" I shook my head at her, my lips pursed, "Be extra careful then," Daryl cursed under his breath and shook his head, his eyes landing on Thad, who was staring up at him with wide eyes.
"Why does your mom have to be hardheaded?" Daryl muttered as he lifted Thad and hugged him, "I'll take care of her, though," He kissed my son's forehead and faced me. I smiled at my boy and brushed his brown curls out of his face, his shocking blue eyes—the exact ones Rick and Carl have—crinkling as he smiled at me.
"Be a good boy for Aunt Michonne and your sister," I smiled and kissed his head, "Mommy will be back soon, okay? I love you," I caressed Judith's head and whispered a quick 'I love you to her' before embracing Selena. Daryl let out another frustrated grumble as he led us outside. The sun shone brightly in the sky, and the breeze was terrific against the heat. Daryl had decided on an SUV instead of his signature motorcycle. I was almost sure that he would force me on the back of his bike to sway me from coming, but not only would I have been uncomfortable, but he would've been, too.
I slammed the passenger door shut and leaned back in my seat, my head, body, and heart hurting. Daryl climbed in and zoomed towards the gates, nodding at the men as we peeled away from Alexandria. Most of the drive was silent, with glares being shot at me by the angry driver. Daryl didn't hide how much he hated this. The logical side of me knows that I shouldn't be out here—that I should be with my kids and Michonne, preparing to give birth, but the illogical, stubborn, emotional side wants to look for Rick and make myself useful one last time.
Daryl sped through the streets, his foot heavy on the gas pedal, and the surrounding woods around us passing by in a blur. He doesn't need to say anything for me to know that he's pissed. I've known Daryl for so long to know when he's mad at me. He doesn't think I should be out here, but he doesn't understand. I need to be out here. He must know that I'm using the whole one last time as an excuse to search for the man I love one final time before I'm stuck behind the walls. I need to find Rick—alive or dead, but I will find him. The drive, although Daryl was driving fast, went by agonizingly slow. It went from a few glares here and there to complete denial that I was even in the car with him. I bit my lip and sighed, my hands massaging my lower back as it continued to cramp. My muscles screamed at me, sending shockwaves throughout my body and making me uncomfortable. A groan escaped my lips as I kneaded away at the tense group of muscles. Daryl turned to me briefly, his light blue eyes squinting as he realized I was uncomfortable.
"You okay there?" He grumbled, finally speaking to me. I would have started moaning and groaning a while ago if I had known that being in this much pain and discomfort would make him talk to me.
"My back is killing me," I let out another groan as the baby kicked me squarely in my ribs, forcing me to let out a low hiss, "And this kid is trying to kill me,"
Daryl reached over and placed a warm hand on my gigantic stomach, his calloused hands rubbing it over as the baby kicked underneath him. I watched a small smile spread across his lips as the baby sent a sharp kick towards the peak of my stomach, right under his hand. The baby went crazy under his touch, practically tossing and turning around as if it were trying to get closer to the ragged man next to me. I don't know what I'd do if Daryl weren't here. He's been my rock since Rick disappeared, and he's gone above and beyond, doing his absolute best to be there for my children and me.
Judith is too young to understand where her daddy went, and it hurts me when I see her looking around as if she's searching for him. She's still young right now. If we find Rick tomorrow or a few months from now, she would just think he went on a trip or something—she wouldn't know that he went missing, and I went crazy trying to find him. Thad would never remember this, and this new baby wouldn't know this ever happened. I hope we find him soon for my sake—not only my sake but for the sake of my children. I don't know how much longer I can go without him. It feels like a part of me is missing.
"You should try sleeping," Daryl suggested, "We're going to be driving for a while. This place is about three hours away," I nodded and shifted in my seat, trying to relieve some of the pressure from my back. The pain spread to the front towards my lower abdomen and radiated to my legs. It made me nervous, but I'm not forcing him to turn back. I need to be out here. I fidgeted until I finally found a comfortable spot and placed my hand on Daryl's, holding it down as the baby went crazy.
~*~
I gasped as a cramping pain shot throughout my body, snapping me out of my uncomfortable slumber. Daryl looked over at me and frowned, his eyes filled with worry. Panic filled me as I realized the severity of what was happening to me. I've been in this position before—I know the pain all too well. Why the hell didn't I recognize it earlier? Not wanting to panic, Daryl, I reached for his hand and gripped it, breathing through the pain. With Thad, I labored for eighteen hours before he decided to make an appearance, so I think I'm okay. Hopefully, this baby can stay in the oven for a few hours until we make it back to Alexandria.
The car started to slow in front of a small building. The exterior was raggedly dirty, with dirt and blood smeared on it, and poorly boarded up. The years haven't been kind to this shop. I looked down at my watch as the cramping pain subsided and started to count, trying my hardest not to panic the man next to me. I climbed out of the car and stroked my stomach, eyeing the building as Daryl came around with our bags.
"Three hours really went by?" I questioned as I turned my attention to Daryl, "It went by fast,"
"You were out cold," Daryl muttered, "Haven't seen ya that out of it in years," I smiled and lightly shoved him, my hand grabbing the handle of my hunting knife. "We go in and out." I nodded at him and followed as he led the way into the shop. I watched as he pried one of the loose boards off the broken window and knocked away the glass. Climbing through the broken window, I placed a hand on my stomach and stroked my baby as I looked around the dusty store. I'm surprised that this store has remained untouched.
The shelves were still stocked, and there was a thick layer of dust. I smiled as I walked forward, my eyes landing on rubbing alcohol, gauze, and other supplies we desperately needed at Alexandria. Daryl passed me and lightly nudged me as I stifled a groan – shockwaves of discomfort rocking my body again. I checked my watch and felt the alarm bells in my head blare as I realized only ten minutes had passed since my last contraction. Why now? Why now? Why now, baby? I can do this. I can do this. In and out, just like Daryl said.
I weaved through the dusty aisles and shoved whatever I could into my pack, not bothering to look at what I was shoving into it. I let out deep breaths as I continued strolling, trying my absolute hardest to breathe through my discomfort and focus on the task at hand. Daryl was at the far end of the store, mimicking my actions – his blue eyes flashing towards me every second. A sharp stab in my back and lower abdomen made me groan and double over, my hand squeezing the fabric of my maternity shirt tightly. I let out a sharp hiss and felt liquid start trickling down my legs, dread soaring through me. The wetness hit the floor, making a pitter-patter sound as it flowed out my jeans' leg holes.
"June," Daryl whispered as he ran up to me, "You good?" My breathing came out ragged as I tried to focus on it, not the pain, my mouth hanging open as I panted. He looked at the floor under my feet and frowned, "Did you pee yourself?"
"I-I," I groaned as the contraction strengthened, rendering me speechless. I read in those pregnancy books that you should be fine as long as you can talk through a contraction. "I'm having contractions, Dixon, and my water just broke," I could almost hear Daryl's eyes widen, and he gripped my upper arm tightly, nearly dragging me out of the little store.
"When did they start?" He asked as he helped me through the window we came in. I checked my watch and gritted my teeth, realizing I was now down to every seven minutes. Why is this going so much faster than my previous birth? Why am I progressing so much quicker?
"Um," When did they start? I started feeling dull aches early this morning. Still, I didn't associate it with anything, "I guess I've been feeling uncomfortable all day, but the contractions didn't start until we started driving," I'm so stupid. I've done this before, so why didn't I connect the pieces!? No wonder Daryl calls me stupid all the time.
"And you didn't tell me? You didn't know?" Daryl snapped as he opened the door for me.
"They weren't bad until a little while ago," I shrugged. I'm acting way more nonchalant than how I feel. I'm trying hard not to panic for Daryl, but I'm freaking out. It's my luck to start laboring as soon as I set my mind to come out here one final time. Daryl rushed into the car and started it, not bothering to let it warm up before speeding off. I placed my hand on the peak of my stomach and rubbed it, silently telling my baby to stay put for a bit longer. "How long will it take to get back home if you push a hundred?"
"I'm already pushing a hundred, June," Daryl grumbled, "Maybe an hour and a half?" I nodded and bit my lip, angry with myself. Why do I have to be so stubborn sometimes? If I had listened to Daryl and Selena, I would be doing this at home and not worrying about giving birth on the side of the road. My body groaned in sheer agony as another contraction tore through me, making me hiss and groan as it rocked me. Daryl grabbed my hand and let me squeeze it as my contractions started to subside. Squirming in my chair, I struggled to get comfortable. Daryl watched me from the corner of his eye and frowned, pressing the gas further and lurching the car to its limits. Usually, I would scold him for going so fast, but time is definitely against us.
Would this be different if Rick were here? Would he be the one panicking and trying to get me back home to deliver my baby safely? No, he wouldn't have even let me leave Alexandria, let alone go on a run. A smile graced my lips as I thought about how flustered he'd be. Even though he's been through it before with Lori, he was still anxious when I gave birth to Thad, so I can imagine how he'd be with this new baby now.
"Ow," I moaned as another sharp pain struck my lower body. Breathe, June. Tears pricked my eyes as Rick's voice penetrated my mind. I almost felt his warm hand grabbing mine and his striking blue eyes creasing with worry. Breathe, sweetheart. I let out a breathy laugh as I heard him call me by his pet name, my heart flipping like it usually does. My eyes clouded as I saw his face staring back at me through the windshield. His lips raised in an encouraging smile as another contraction ripped through me. His wavy brown hair was kept in a short cut with sprinkles of gray, and his face was sporting a tidy beard—the exact way he looked the last time I saw him.
You're doing so good, June. Almost there. I love you so much. Tears streamed down my face as the words echoed in my head. Daryl gave my hand a tight squeeze and murmured words of encouragement, assuming my tears were from the hardships of labor. Another contraction hit me hard, almost knocking all the breath out of my lungs.
"They're too close together, June," Daryl panicked, "That was five minutes," I groaned and nodded my head, "If this was years ago, then we'd have to get you to a hospital."
"Y-you've been reading those pregnancy books?" I asked once my contraction passed. Daryl smirked at me and subtly nodded, his eyes still glued to the road.
"Figured that I should since Rick—" Daryl trailed, not finishing his sentence, "Figured I'd help you as much as I could." If I weren't already crying, I'd be letting loose. Daryl really is the best.
"I love you, Dixon," I whispered as more tears streamed down my face, "You have no idea what this means to me," Daryl squeezed my hand once more and continued to zoom down the road. A gasp escaped my lips as another contraction soared through my body. "I don't think we're going to make it," I gasped once it passed, "Daryl, I need you to check me," Daryl slowed the car and soon stopped, his eyes wide with horror.
"Hell no," He sputtered, "We can make it to Alexandria! We're at least an hour away!" Another contraction hit me like a speeding semi-truck, and I gasped through the white-hot pain.
"Please, Daryl!" I nearly cried as I gripped my stomach. With difficulty, I climbed out of the car and kept one hand on the vehicle as I slowly shuffled toward the back seats. Daryl groaned and rushed to my side, his hands gripping the tops of my arms, and he gently laid me down on the seats. I unbuttoned my pants and struggled to push them down, whimpering as another sharp contraction hit me. Daryl let out a low groan and helped me, tossing my pants and underwear to the side. Daryl hastily reached for my pack and tore it open, his hands fidgeting with the bottle of rubbing alcohol and water.
"What are you doing?" I moaned as my body shivered through the endings of a contraction. Daryl screwed the lid off and doused his hands with the rubbing alcohol and then water, shaking them to dry them off.
"What am I supposed to feel for?" Daryl asked, his face paled in fear. I opened my legs and bit my lip as my back caught on fire.
"My cervix," I whimpered, "Check to see if I'm dilated fully. Ten centimeters. It should be the size of a bagel," Daryl groaned and cringed as he looked at my vagina. His face scrunched with discomfort and disgust as he slowly inserted his fingers, another grumble escaping his lips. He bit his lip, and he poked around, unsure of himself.
"You said the size of a bagel?" Daryl asked as a deep moan of pain escaped my lips, "I think I'm touching the baby's head. It feels hairy," A small cry escaped my lips as I propped myself up on my elbows, my brow creasing with sweat as the urge to push became overwhelming.
"I need to push," I moaned. I looked above Daryl's head and pursed my lips as I saw the trees swaying with the breeze. I bit my lip to keep back my cries of pain. I didn't think this was how I would give birth to my second—in a car on the side of the road with walkers everywhere. I gritted my teeth and started to push. My body felt like it was on fire as a contraction came on, and I pushed with all my might. It felt like my body was ripping in two as the pain encased my entire being. Gasping, I sucked in a deep breath and paused as the contraction subsided.
"June, I think I'm going to be sick," Daryl gagged, "I see the head,"
"Once this baby is out and safely in my arms, you can throw up," I sneered. It took everything to hold back my scream as another contraction hit me. Grunting, I pushed again and let out a whimper as I felt the head fully emerge. Scorching hot pain seared around my groin, and I let out a small yelp—unable to suppress it any longer.
"One more push," Daryl looked pale and slightly green as he stared at my vaginal opening, "Head is out," Cries escaped my mouth as I nodded. With my last ounce of strength, I gave a final push. A cry tore into the silent air, tearing me out of my pain-filled trance. Daryl held the tiny baby in his bloody arms and stared at it, a smile breaking across his lips.
"My baby," I held my arms out for it and cried, my heart filling with an insane amount of love for both Daryl and my newborn. Daryl leaned inside the car and handed the baby to me—his eyes brimming with tears. A shaky breath left my lips as I stared at it, a smile breaking across my lips.
"My little girl. My tiny, perfect baby," I held her against my chest and breathed in her scent, aware that my face was smeared with blood and that white stuff. Daryl shrugged off his vest and handed it to me so I could wrap her in it. Daryl still looked pale as he looked at me, his lips turning down.
"You okay?" Daryl shook his head and ran towards the trees, his body flying forward as he threw up everything in his stomach. I tuned out the sounds of him being sick and inspected the little girl in my arms. She looked like she could be my twin, except she had brown tufts of hair. She opened her eyes, and it took my breath away. With her hair and eyes, you can tell that this was Rick's kid. She had the prettiest clear blue eyes, like her father and two brothers. Thad looked just like Rick, but this little girl in my arms was all me, except for her eye color and hair.
"Is she okay?" Daryl asked as he finally recovered, "All ten fingers and toes?" I chuckled and held her to me tightly, my heart swelling.
"She's perfect, Daryl." I smiled, "Thank you," Daryl grabbed his knife and the alcohol, soaking it and cleaning it thoroughly. I watched as he cut the umbilical cord and held her out to him. "Uncle Daryl deserves a turn with her," Daryl smiled and took her from me, wrapping her tightly in his vest.
"She's gorgeous, June," Daryl smiled, his eyes turning towards me, "She looks just like you, but with Rick's hair and eyes." I leaned back and took in a deep breath, absolutely exhausted. "What's her name?" Rick and I had talked about names when I was pregnant with Thad, and there was one that I was in love with, and it's fitting. It's my way of honoring her father.
"Melody," I smiled, "Melody Grimes,"
----*----
Needed to add some flair to her second labor lol. It may not be totally accurate, but then again, it's just a story.
Also, poor Daryl! lol
He's traumatized for life