Part two of 'Let Me Love You'
After a few weeks of Corpse loathing in his own self pity and sadness, he decided to come clean and tell everyone the terrific news. He thought back to what he needs to say and when. Would he be able to? What if he just broke down before he could break the news? Should he even be the one to tell anyone? He still blamed himself. Why wouldn't he? If he wasn't such a dick, you wouldn't have went on a drive. You would arms, safe and sound. All these thoughts clouded his mind. They wouldn't leaven not like he thought he deserved them to leave.
He missed everything about you. Your smile, your scent, you contagious laugh, your beautiful e/n irises. You name it, he missed it.
He missed the way you played with his hair
He missed the way you'd cuddle into him, trying your darndest to not hurt him and being anymore pain then he was already in 24/7. The way you'd frown everytime you thought about the pain he was in physically and mentally.
But, now, it was his heart that hurt worse than anything physical.
He missed the way you'd always check up on him. The feeling of someone actually caring, even more so it being you. 'Cause you constantly showed that you actually cared and would do absolutely anything to help him anyway you could.
He missed the way you'd always be by his side, showing him the affection you say he deserved. By his side through thick and thin. Always there.
He missed your mood; of which followed you everywhere, lighting up any room you walked in.
He missed your heart-giving kindness.
He missed you.
Corpse would do anything to have you back. But sadly, there was nothing he could do.
Although a certain thought rang through his head more times then he'd like to admit, he couldn't.
He made a promise to you even before you started dating.
He Pinky promised you he'd never do anything of the sorts like he used to. It would destroy you, just like this is destroying him.
The loading screen make him wake up from his zoned out stay. He shook his head, his curls bouncing.
Oh how you loved the curls. You would always make sure he was taking amazing care of them. You'd help him wash the -oh so loved by millions- curls. The way you would run your fingers through them with safe hair products. Not to mention how you literally started tearing up when he brought up shaving your them as a joke. He missed your hands messing with them. A picture of you sleeping on corpse's bed with your cat snuggled to your chest was displayed on his computer background. He smiled, taking in every feature he could see with the quality, His door opened a little, causing his to look up at the door. Trixie, your cat, walked in. Corpse smiled again. Trixie jumped in his lap, looking at the computer. He looked away from the cat, looking at the picture until he felt his eyes brimming with tears. He went to discord, seeing Rae and Sykunno on, he texted Ree asking if he could join the vc. She happily texted him back saying he could. He cleared his throat before entered the call. "Hey Corpse!" Rae's voice was laced with happiness and giddiness as she greeted him. "Hey." Rae's eyebrows forrowed as she took note of his strained voice, but brushing it off his new song or something. "Hey, Corpse, how have you been?" Sykunno's voice rang through out the call. "Uh... awful in all honesty. That's actually why I wanted to talk to you" He gathered all the courage he could. "Oh. I'm sorry Corpse. What's up?" "are yall live?" "Oh no, We were filming a Youtube video, but we just started." Rae said, moving to get comfortable in her chair.
"Okay, um," "He sighed, petting Trixie. "Y/n and I got into a fight and she went for a drive and a drunk driver T-boned her at a red light. She didn't make it." Rae's hand flew to her mouth as the words left his Corpse' mouth. Sykunno's eyes went wide as he also covered his mouth. "Corpse I'm so sorry." Sykunno didn't Know what else to say. "Yeah..." He didnt know what else to say. "um thanks?" It was more of a question than a statement Rae started sobbing into her sleeve. "Well, I got to tell everyone else. Bye guys." "Bye Corpse" Sykunno tried to comfort Rae as Corpse exited the call. Corpse sighed, looking back down to the cat laying in his lap. "Who should we tell next?" Trive just looked up at him. He went through his contacts on his phone, deciding on Karl next. The phone rang until Karl picked up. "Hey, corpse." "hey, Karl, I have some news." Karl's eyebrows furrowed at his friends tone. "Okay, Quackity is her by the way" Quackity let out a little 'hey'. "oh okay, that'll make this atleast a little easier" "okay, what's up?" Karl was starting to get concerned. Corpse held his breathe, closing his eyes. "Um..Y/n passed away a few weeks ago" the call wad silent after those words left Corpse. No one who what to say. "Oh my god" Quackity sat in shock. "that's awful corpse, I'm so sorry." Corpse hummed, his eyes still closed. "sorry for just dropping this on y'all. it took me weeks to get the courage to tell anyone as it is. She would have wanted to to atleast tell close friends not by fucking post on twitter and instagram." "Yeah, I get it. I really am so sorry" "yeah, thanks Karl." He sniffed, opening his eyes to look at the phone. "of course" "well I gotta go tell a few more people, atleast, if I can" they all exchanged byes before Corpse hung up, running his hand up and down his face.
Trixie moved to cuddle into his stomach area. She started purring, nuzzing more into him. He brought his hand down, petting her. He remembered back to you walking in his gaming room, holding the cat you loved so much day after day. You'd get comfortable in his floor for the little couch you brough from your old apartment. The apartment you stayed in since you moved to CA. He remembered the conversation in which he asked you to move in with him. It's not like all your stuff wasn't slowly making their way to his anyway. You both were sitting at the kitchen island, sitting in eachother's company. Corpse broke the silence. "Would you want to move in with me?" You looked up from the counter. "Really?" He nodded, his nerves skyrocketing. "Of course! I was staying over there more anyway" the smile that etched on your face brought him so much joy, he couldn't explain why or how he was able to feel that much joy. He wished he could see it for himself atleast one more time. Trixie walked in the kitchen, going to her food bowl. You looked up from her to see him looking at you with a love struck expression, and a wide smile on his face. He remembered the day he helped you pack, while Trixie just watched from her comfortable spot in your seat chair. He went through your drawers, sorting everything into their rightful box. He picked up a box in the back of the drawer. Opening the box, he saw the box had alot of polaroids and pictures. "Y/n?" "Yeah?" You called from the bathroom. You walked out of the bathroom with a box that had 'bathroom' in bold on the from of the box.
"Oh" you smiles, seeing the familiar box in his hand. After sitting the box that was in your hand on the bed, you walked over to him, taking the box and his hand, leading him to the bed. You dug through them, picking up a pile of them. "These are my baby pictures" you handed a good size stack of pictures to him, digging in the box again. He took one out, smiling at it. A picture of you probably around two, holding a basket, wearing a fluffy white dress. Your eyes were set on the person taking the picture. He doesn't know why exactly why it made him smile so big, but he wasn't complaining. He looked over the small box, picking up one with your teen self and another teen boy. The picture reeked of highschool -mom forced me to stand her and take this damn picture before I can leave- pictures. "Who's this?" You looked over, grimacing when it registered which photo it was. "ew, no." You took the picture, throwing it in the trash can. "My highschool 'boyfriend'," you brought your hands up to make the to make the ' “ '. "Let's not talk about him. Plus, I hate that picture." He chuckled at your expression. You both continued to go through the picture box. When you both looked through the whole box, you close it, sighing. "Fun times" you had a small, lazy smile on you face, looking over at him. "Maybe we could fill the box more."
Corpse looked at the box on his desk, the lid was lifted up more then it was supposed to be 'closed'. You've both added so many, filling the box up with memories he's gonna cherish forever. 'atleast we were able to fill the box" he thoughts shaking his head right after. 'you can't breakdown right now! You still have to tell atleast two more people"
"We can do this, Trixie." The cat's head perked up from hearing her name. Her sleepy eyes went wide, but going back to normal after looking up at him. She went back to sleeping, cuddling into his lap again. He looked through his contacts against, until he came across Sapnap's contact. You both were really close, kinda like a sibling bond. Righting echoed through the room. "Hey, Corpse" the sound of what corpse assumed was the t.v stopped in the background of the call. "Hey" "what's up man?" Corpse thought about how he is going to have to word it. "I have something to tell you- is Dream there?" "Hi!" Dream's voice was heard through the call. "Patches is too" "yeah, they're sitting beside me. Why?" "Okay," the brought his arm to the desk, leaning in his arm. "How's Y/n by the way? She hasn't talked to us in forever" corpse quickly put the call on hold, trying to hold back his sobs. "Fuck" he kept cursing under his breath. He pushed the hold button again."you good bro?" "Uh...so something happened between us a few weeks ago-a fight actually- well argument but y/n went for a drive I assume and a drunk driver T-boned her." Both SapNap and Dream's expression changed, both saying 'oh my god's in sync. "How is she-is she okay?" The youngest boy's voice was laced with concern, it also scetched out on his face. "Uh..n-no. She passed away shortly after." Corpse felt a lump in his throat, knowing he his is especially hurting the youngest boy. "Shit man, I'm sorry, Corpse. Y/n didn't deserve that at all." Dream stated, not having anything else in his brain to say at the moment.
"She wouldn't want you to blame yourself,"Sapnap spoke up, breaking the silence that has made its way through the phones, laying on all of them like a weighted blanket. Sapnap continued; "I know you're blaming yourself for the argument. She wouldn't want that, Corpse." A hiccup left Corpse's throat, cursing under his break again. "Yeah, yeah...uh thanks." "Mhm." SapNap put his elbows in his knees, holding his head with his hands. "Well I have to tell all the fans and other friends." "Okay." "Can y'all tell George? I would do it myself but I don't think I can get myself to, and I don't know his sleep schedule." "Yeah, sure." Corpse thanked the two other men, bidding his byes. Sapnap stood, making his way to his room, leaving Dream calling George on the couch. Corpse went to twitter and started typing. He read over it after a few minutes of typing, backspacing, rethinking what to write, typing, backspacing, it just continued til he thought it was good enough.
'i am terribly sorry to inform you all about Y/n's passing that happened a few weeks ago. I saw all of you wondering about her and I sorry. It hurts to inform you all this, and I know it hurts to be informed of this. Just know that she loved all of you and would want you all to remember you're loved.🖤'
He wanted to say so much more, yet didn't know how to put it into words. He hit tweet and made his way to Instagram. Going through his gallery, he found pictures he loved and held dearly to his heart. The first picture was the same as his computer background. The groan that left your mouth when you saw it shortly after it was taken was totally worth it. You just looked so at peace in one of his hoodies, your hair a mess but still beautiful to him.
The second picture was a simple picture of you holding hands. To outsiders it seemed like a simple, unoriginal picture of two people holding hands, but corpse was there, he felt you gripe his hand for dear life as he moved to take the picture. You gripped it like he was going to disappear if you even thought about loosening your grip. It stayed the same even after he took multiple pictures. He still doesn't know why your grip was like that. He even asked if you were okay, getting a simple "yeah" all cherry and like your grip was normal. The third one was one he took of you in the morning. You had look over at him from looking at the tv, your hair a mess and noodles halfway in your mouth. You had woke up and chose noodles for your first mean, which honestly didn't surprise him anymore. As soon as it registered in your sleepy brain that he took a picture, your face fell with an annoyed expression, putting your down down on the kitchen island. "Really?" He just giggled and ran to your shared room. You would chase after his in y'all's apartment, telling him to delete it, groaning when he'd just run away. Pouting and all. But he knew you secretly loved it, cause he gave you many opportunities to delete it if you really didn't like it or the way he just randomly took the picture. Ofwhich you never did. (Don't let him know, but you knew how much he loved it, which made you love it. It grew on you.) The fourth photo was of you, when you and Corpse first met face-to-face. You both were sitting against your old apartment wall. You both seemed to find the floor and wall comfortable enough to stay there and talk. Don't ask how or why, but it seemed to make your bond even stronger. Fun times tho. It was when Trixie was a new born kitten. You were petting her. You moved, looking at the phone that he brought up, since you saw his movement.
The fifth picture was one of the many he got from a little photoshoot that you wanted to do; promoting his new merch. You insisted, like insisted. He took many pictures of you while you were getting ready to pose. Fixing your hair; atleast 15 pictures. You continued to fix your outfit, of which he picked out. Then, he began telling stories, capturing the way you smiled at him, admiring him. When you realized he was taking pictures, you groaned and started posing, almost falling over. He also got one of you laughing from almost falling over, which he adored and decided to keep that for himself. The 6th one was a video. You both were sitting on the couch, you beaming up, eyes focused on the screen that displayed 'Falcon And The Winter Solder'. You were practically drooling over Sebastian Stan. Corpse stood, walking away since you 'weren't giving his attention' as he said. You jumped up and chased after him. Although you couldn't see much after he filmed you drooling and his view of getting up and walking away, you could still hear your feet paddling against the floor. You practically jumped on him, attacking his cheek and neck with kisses. Both of your giggles were heard. He smiled at the videos tempted to tear up at the sound of your giggle and the memory. The seventh was another picture. You had been acting weird all day. You poked your tongue out, touching his cheek. He of course put something over his head, covering the smile and crinkled eyes.
He picked those and went to write a caption. 'if you have twitter, you already know the terrible news. But if you don't, Y/n sadly passed away from a drunk driver while going for a drive. We all know she deserved better. I'm sorry I couldn't tell all our friends by call or something. As I said on twitter, she would want you to know she loved you and you are, indeed, loved. I love you all and I'm sorry I'm having to tell you this. I miss you dearly @its_y/n_right and I'll love you even after my death day. Rest In peace Bubs🖤' He posted it, waiting for it to post all the way. After it finished, he turned his phone off completely. Trixie let out a little meow as she woke up, looking up at him. He picked her up, having her stretch in his arms. After she was done having her moment, he brought her so her body displayed over his chest, her head on his shoulder. She started purring again. Corpse closed his eyes, trying to think. He still remembered every feature of you. Your perfect 'imperfections', your insecurities that he assured you he adored so much, the way you eyes glowed in the sunlight, just everything. He had to remember everything. He thought back to what he said before you left. Of course he regrets all of it. He'd take everything back if he could. You kept eachother grounded, loved, assured, happy. What was he supposed to do now? All of those stupid regretful words. And he hates himself for having you pass away for it to open his eyes and make him realize he did, infact, love you.