ALINA
I cleared my throat. "So, Roara?"
We were all staring at her. She was looking out of the window, and didn't seem to be able to hear up. Thor tapped her with his hammer. She turned slowly to look at us, as though her movements had been slowed down a bit with the turn of a dial. She looked at Thor. "Is it time to leave?" She asked in a small voice.
Thor shook his head. "Bucky asked you whether you were actually in the building that got bombed." He turned to look at Bucky. "She was, I happened to be with her that evening and I was able to make sure she wasn't crushed. I took her back to her cottage in the countryside to recover and..." he looked at Roara, who had gone back to staring out of the window, "that was the last time I saw her until I collected her from that same cottage and brought her to New York."
The others began to talk about the possibilities of memories existing within a subconscious and being inaccessible to the conscious mind, and everything else that came along with trying to work out how Aditi had seen what she saw. Of course we couldn't know how accurate it was, but Cap had been able to verify the parts he remembered.
Looking at Roara, I wanted to cry. Even yesterday she had been better than this. I didn't know what was going on with her. I turned to Bruce who was beside me. "I want to scan her."
"Who Aditi?" Bruce whispered back.
"No." I glanced at Aditi, who had come to us with Tony and Peter as soon as she'd had the vision, realising it might mean something if Bucky had no knowledge of that memory. So obviously we'd had to call a meeting. "I want to scan Ro. I don't think this is just depression."
Bruce paused. "Until yesterday I would have disagreed. It's like she'd had a head injury. Do you think it was the venom that was still in her system?"
"It might be." I slumped back in my chair, sliding down in my seat until my legs were bent underneath the table. I kicked Loki, who was across from me.
"What?" He hissed.
I pulled myself back up and leant across the table. "Did she hit her head at all in Vanaheim?"
He looked quickly from Roara to me. "She kept falling over because of her leg, and I think she might have hit her head when she landed, but she wasn't like this back there."
"What about the venom?" I asked.
Loki shook his head. "She'd have broken out in purple hives and frothed blood at the mouth. Unless I missed that happening, it's not the venom."
Shit. I looked over at Wanda who was next to Nat. It hadn't exactly been awkward with Nat and I, we just... hadn't spoken about the kiss. Just got on with our life. I sort of wished it hadn't happened now, as amazing as it had felt at the time, now I just felt awkward and I wasn't an awkward person. Mostly.
"Bruce," I whispered, "can you get Wanda's attention, you're closer."
Wanda leant back in her seat to look at me. "I can hear you, you know." I looked around the table. The other conversation had stopped. Now everyone was paying attention to the conversation I had thought had been at least somewhat private. Or well, everyone except Roara, who was still looking out of the window.
I sighed. "Wanda, could you read Roara's mind."
Wanda groaned. "I did not have a good time doing that last time." She glared at Loki who gave an unsympathetic shrug. "Fine." She said eventually.
She went up to Roara, taking Thor's seat beside her. "Hey, Ro." She said, so gently I couldn't help but feel even more miserable at my friend's state.
Very slowly like before Roara turned her head to face Wanda. "Hey." She broke into a smile. It happened in slow motion again, like a film being moved to three quarters of the speed.
"I'm just going to read your mind, okay?" Wanda asked, shuffling her chair towards Roara.
Roara nodded. Wanda placed both hands on the sides of her head, flares of red flowing in between her fingers. Wanda closed her eyes and we all waited.
One minute went by. And then another. By minute three we were all getting restless.
Wanda let go and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Well?" Bucky asked.
Wanda shook her head. "She's not... she's not thinking anything."
It was Roara's mind that had so much information flooding it, while in a coma, that Wanda had had to stop after less than 30 seconds. Now she'd waited for 3 minutes and found... nothing?
"Wanda, what do you mean she's not thinking anything?" Rhodey asked from the end of the table. "As in nothing... nothing at all?"
"There must be something." Steve said.
Wanda shook her head. "Nothing. No fears, no memories, no thoughts..."
"I haven't had any memories from her for a while." Aditi said from the back of the room. "They became fewer and fewer and now... I haven't had any for at least a week, if not more."
I looked at Loki. "Fine." Loki groaned, getting up. "I'll try."
"Why would you be able to do anything better?" Wanda challenged him, standing up.
Loki sighed and glanced at me. I nodded encouragingly.
Loki grabbed the seat Wanda had just vacated, while his brother stood by his side, and sat down. "She did something a couple of weeks ago." Loki said finally. "Roara I mean. She said something that seemed to indicate..."
"It indicated that she was able to read Loki's mind without borrowing his powers, and didn't even know she'd just done it." I finished for him. He scowled at me. "What, it's true." I protested.
"It felt private." Loki snarled.
"So does her brain, but we're still trying to find out what's going on with it. I mean look at her," I held out my hand towards her. She had her head tilted, smiling vaguely at Thor. "We're talking about her as though she's not even here, and she can't even hear us!"
Loki pulled his seat the other way so that he was sitting on it backwards, the way Tony always did, and pulled himself closer to Roara.
He cupped her face in his hands. "Hello my love." He said gently.
Her eyes drifted from Thor to Loki, and finally a sense of Roara came back to her face, a sort of clarity. "Why do you look so sad?" She asked him.
"No reason darling, I'm just going to check something, okay?"
"Okay." She said softly. "I trust you."
Loki looked like he was about to cry, but he shook off his emotion, schooling his face into one of passive interest. He pressed a thumb to her forehead and closed his eyes. A few minutes later he opened them again and got off his chair, pacing around the room.
"What?" Thor asked.
"It doesn't make sense." He replied, sounding agitated.
"What doesn't?" Thor pushed.
"Her memories, I found some, but..." he shook his head, "not many."
"Like amnesia?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Not like amnesia. Actually..." He stopped pacing. "Rat, can you come here a second?"
I stood and walked over to him, standing in front of him. Damn, he really was tall. I was surprised Roara hadn't hurt her neck looking up at him so much. He placed his palm on my forehead and for a split second I felt nothing. And then it was like going through TV channels really fast, one after the other, barely glimpsing what I was seeing, until it came to... static. Like a TV screen with static because it wasn't a proper channel. I stumbled backwards as Loki took his hand off my head.
"Wow." I said softly. But Loki was looking at Roara, his eyes not leaving her face.
He went up to her chair, kneeling down before her. He took her hand in his. "Oh Roara." He tucked her hair behind her ear. I saw Bucky bristle, but I ignored it, keeping my attention on Loki. "What have they done to you?" He asked, sounding as though he already knew, as though he was asking in disbelief.
"Who?" I asked, now thoroughly confused.
Loki wasn't listening to me, he was still looking at Roara. "I'm going to fix this." He vowed to her. "They'll pay." He stood up, his coat lifting as he walked to the door.
"LOKI!" Thor shouted. "What is going on, tell us!"
Loki stopped, his hand on the doorframe. Without turning round he said, "They've taken her memories brother. The Ascendency has taken her memories. Of you, of me. They've taken her personality, her knowledge, her intellect. They've taken what it means to be her. All that is left is a small memory of her as a child, that's all they've left her with."
"How do you know it's them?" I asked, feeling the horror fall through me.
He turned finally, his face terrifying. I had never seen someone look so disturbed in my entire life. His eyes looked like they were filled with green fire.
"When I look for the memories they took from you, the gaps from when you were a prisoner, it's the same. It's the same as where all her memories should be. It feels the same, and it's distinctive. Like the taste of blood, you never forget it." With those final words he left, evaporating into air in front of our eyes.
"Wanda." Bucky said very quietly. "Do you think you could access that memory?"
"I can try." She stepped forwards and touched her fingers to Roara's temples again. After a few seconds she stepped backwards. "I got it."
"What is it?" Bucky asked.
Wanda turned to him, eyes shining. "Just her mother, brushing her hair, and singing to her."
"What's she singing about?" He whispered.
"About adventures, heroes, great deeds, and selflessness." She nodded. "That's what they left her with. Just that one memory." Wanda shook her head, and walked out of the room, clearly upset.
"I would like to check if she is alright." Vision said. He wasn't asking permission. He stood up and floated through a nearby wall.
I went over to Roara. "Hey sweetie." I said, lightly touching her hand.
She looked up at me from her seat and broke into a smile. "Hi."
She didn't know me. Her eyes were clouded over. I realised this was how she must have been as a child. She must have been this smiley, and happy, and sweet. I could see how she'd become the joker she was today, the same person just less innocent.
"Do you want something to drink?" I asked her.
She nodded.
"Okay." I said softly, helping her up. "Let's go get you something to drink."
I looked around the room as I helped her up and saw everyone's broken faces. Bruce's face was ashen. Sam was speechless, his eyes squeezed shut. Peter's eyes were red. Steve had his head in his hands. Nat was looking away. Bucky looked worst of all, his face crumpled, mouth open as tears fell from his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair, letting it rest on the back of his head.
I felt someone lifting Roara's other side. I looked. It was Aditi, who gave me an encouraging nod. Together we took Aditi to the living room, setting her down on a sofa.
"What do we give her to drink?" I whispered to Aditi.
"I haven't had any memory dreams that far back in her life, I don't know what kids in the 1600s were given to drink." She whispered back.
I groaned. "Milk? Would she like milk?"
"They drank beer." Steve said from behind us. "She mentioned it to me once. It's not the kind of stuff we have anymore. That and milk if they were able to get it. I think she should be fine with a juice box." He grabbed one out of a cupboard and went over to Roara.
He sat down beside her and put the straw in it for her, passing it to her. He explained to her how to drink it and let her do it for herself.
Aditi beside me began to cry.
"Hey, no, it's okay." I said to her, giving her a hug. "She'll be fine. We'll get her memories back."
Aditi shook her head. "It just reminds me of what happened to my grandfather. He has Alzheimers. I haven't seen him in a while."
I caught sight of Peter, who was standing by the door. I used my eyes tell him to come over to where we were. Once he'd got to us, I glared at him, nodding to the crying Aditi in my arms. Peter put his arms around her, and I was able to get out of the three way hug.
"I'm sorry your birthday turned out like this." I heard her saying.
"Hey," Peter whispered back to her, "these things happen. Besides, your present made it all worth it."
I looked back at Steve, who was still sitting with Roara, talking to her in a soft voice. A little voice in my brain said, husband material. I was both horrified and impressed by that evaluation. Yes this is certainly the way he'd act around small children he cared about, but at the same time Steve was my friend and Roara was also my friend. In fact Roara was four times Steve's age.
Tony came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to him.
"Are you alright?" He asked me carefully. "She is your best friend. I just thought I should check in."
I felt my mask my face had been keeping up slip and I fell into my uncle's arms, my body racked with sobs. He fell to the floor with me, holding me in his arms, stroking my hair.
"We'll look after her." He said quietly. "Even if we can't get her back. She'll live with us, we can make sure she's looked after, we won't leave her."
"Thank you." I managed through my tears. "Thank you."
"It's the least I could do. She is family after all."
When I had stopped shaking I murmured. "They've gone too far. They've taken too much from me. I'm going to destroy them and everything they love. I'm going to watch them burn."