People speak of dreams and hallucinations. The region of deep slumber in which the illusions are so rational that they almost ascertain of it being true.
Shin-young felt the same. She had seen the handsome man in her trances. Always generous and kind, always happy.
Leaving him behind in her barren sleep was what gave her anxiety when she woke up. To her- this seems to be a new world. Bright lights, beeping monitors, and a touch from the people who observed her were so warm and real that it felt unnatural.
She was confused, she was scared. She couldn't remember how long it had been since she had been awake watching the pace and exchange words that she cannot understand.
But as the minutes passed, it came back to her. The senses in her fingers, the colors in her vision, and then the sounds in her ears. But they were too tight, sharp, and loud as her eyes tear up.
She was like a child out of a womb. Unknown to her surroundings and helpless to what was going on. She was frightened and cold, breathing heavily when they aided her to sit.
Her limbs ached, her heart rang by her ears. And her fears wept silently for a man who she had left behind in her dreams. But when minutes expired and her perception came to life she looked around frantic at the woman who had been piping calm musing to soothe her anxiety. When the female nurse rushed to Shin's service- she opened her mouth to feel and utter the one name that she seem to recall.
Nothing reverberated.
She tried again, but her throat burns with such trauma that a shocked gasp left her body. The nurse, grasping the need of the situation presented shin with a note and pen.
At first, it took shin her pathetic strength to curl her fingers by the slender body of the pen, and in a sluggishly crooked scripture, she wrote the one name she had remembered first.
A name she seem to had remembered even before her own.
The name was Lee.
▪ ▪ ▪
He ran,
He trotted as he rammed into people. He ran in his soaked clothes leaving watermarks on the clean hospital floor to the dismay of janitors. But when they saw who it was, they exchanged surprised glances with their colleagues.
A community doctor who passed by them grinned, hollering the two words that the old cleaning ladies prayed for since they had met Lee two years ago and heard his story. The Lee to whom this sector was a second home. The Lee who reminded them of their sons. The Lee who became an embodiment of true love among the staffs here.
"She's awake"
These words were loudly thrown around by one to another. The remeding patients who were new were confused. While the old helped them with the narration.
The old ones were already celebrating with hugs and cheers as they made path for a breathless, gleaming Lee to pass through. When Hwan followed tenderly- his eyes scanning the hallway. An inquisitive smile lights his ever gloomy face up as he realized-
'The son of a gun was never alone, he just had his harbor racked somewhere else'
But no assistance prepared Lee for such a reunion. When Lee tore open the door to her room he wasn't ready for it. Despite years of wishing, praying, and screaming for her to open her eyes- he wasn't in any manner orchestrated to see her.
Like a small ball of fur, she sat there cocooned and wrapped in a cozy blanket. Her head inclined to her lap as she thought grimly of something.
Rather Of some one.
Of him.
Of if he even existed!
When the doors uncrocked, she had expected to see the face of the same doctor who had been for the last ten minutes notifying her of her surrounding. Checking for pulse by her wrists or a torch to her retina. But it wasn't the young intern who she was competent to furrow her brows at.
It was him.
He was here. But yet not the same. This version of her intuitions seems to have aged like a fine wine. The charm in that lidded gaze was tainted, but so intense. His steps slowed down as if he was scared that this would end in a dream if his movements were harsh. But, the closer he got to her the further he lost his mind.
And he didn't want to keep track of it. He was willing to let go of his tears or laugh or words. But nothing happens. He just watched her- even afraid to touch her.
She looks up at him, her excitement overpowering her anxiety. She was shin, and he was Lee. But who were they?
Who was he?
Then a series of washed memories surfaces. All a jumbled mess. She still was confused. She still wasn't awake entirely.
But when his hand reached out and cupped her cheeks, its warmth colored her cheek as she unconsciously leaned into them closing her eyes.
Unlike in dreams, his touch ignites her with spirit and life. But just like in a dream...his voice remained the same.
"Thank you"
That is what he said. She didn't know what she was being thanked for - but she accepted it in silence. Because unknown to the cause it's what she wanted to say to him the moment he stepped in.
Thank him.
For everything that she couldn't remember or say.
Remember for now.
But couldn't Say...quite literally.
▪ ▪ ▪
Lee didn't leave her side even for a second. The doctors had advised him and Hwan to cease clean of any forced interaction that could lead to her recalling an involuntary memory. They were asked to behave in accordance of a stranger with her while she sat silently watching them like a curious kitten as they took care of her.
Though her parents were there they weren't allowed to meet her until she expresses her development.
She did try to express once, verbally. Using her mouth. Her lips moved and a tired sigh escaped.
As for her legs, it took her an embraced support from Lee or muscle therapist to even get up from the bed.
It had been two days since Lee had been metaphorically dying to get her attention but all she does was distantly stare at the buttons in her wheelchair.
She can't speak, she can't walk.
Was else was useless about her- what's the use of such recovery when she couldn't remember -
Well- her suffering was short-lived because on day third she recollected her clasped memories. They came in investments. The portions at times big and in others - a dent of mere flashes.
But she was great at jigsaw. The puzzles soon began to form a bigger pictures. And soon she wasn't as clueless as she was a couple of days ago.
"Shin" Lee inquired her for the first time, even her tilt of acknowledgment filled him with gratitude as he lost his breath and forgot the reason for why he called her. She viewed him quizically but it was enough. "You look worried, is there something you want to speak- I mean write about?"
If Lee learned anything in those past years of maintaining his patience was that every hurdle could be tackled if given time. Her voice- she might have lost them, her steps may stagger today. But to him, she had never been so whole and perfect as of now.
She was getting healthier by the week, she ate well and slept well. Though he still got his panic bolted every time she took a nap. He had seen her sleep enough for him to last a lifetime.
Though it did hurt like hell to know that she might have forgotten of his existence he was unaware of how much she had been organizing her recollected memories and the stifled smile that she hid when Lee and Hwan bickered.
She was happy that her husband and brother had gotten along so well.
So it was on day five she sat on the bed when the two idiots woke up. She had the nurse help her to a shower and a new set of clothes that Lee brought. After grinning in the likes of a lunatic by the mirror she Got her hair and nails done by using the generous nurse's makeup kit. The shirt dress she wore on was slightly loose on her, but the feel of soft silk fabric on her skin instead of the cotton gown cured her of dreadful nostalgias.
The two girls in the bathroom shared a mischievous glance. Never had the nurse anticipated that she would get to play pranks and share laughs with the gorgeous ex-comatose girl that she had been assigned to eight months ago.
Lee woke up to an angel smiling down at them as shin sat there by her bed. While Hwan thought he saw a naughty glimmer when shin blinked at her brother.
Hwan felt his heart clench with giddiness as he grinned at shin. Lee on the other hand was still an idiot. So shin had to roll her eyes when she saw the confused frown that reflected the face of Lee.
'Just what low of bare minimum was he satisfied with?'
She thought.
She waved her hand asking both of them to walk over. They both somehow managed to not fall face-first to the ground tangled up in sheets by the couch they shared last night.
The note she gave Hwan was for him to get her parents here. Hwan was stunned to his core and he traded his glance back and forth to the paper and his sister. He looked more alarmed than last night when Lee read out his stock market report... While he was asleep.
Shin noticed that Lee still talked in his respite. It had been two years. Yet he was the same. Well except for-
She passed her second note to Lee with her two fingers clipped by them. Lee looked at it expecting it to be her common needs. But boy was this personal.
"Shave off that damn beard and kiss your half-paralyzed wife already you fool"
▪ ▪ ▪
One year later
SHIN
How can someone look as gorgeous as me and not be boastful of it?
I question myself direly as I squinted my gaze by the floor-length mirror attached to the trial room.
My winged eyeliner rests coolly at the impatient knock by the door. Lee stood there in his tailored black suit and equally black shirt- his designer shoes polished to sparkle. It now didn't bore the coffee stain that Lee accidentally dropped on my dress and his footwear right before we were to enter the chapel.
Lee took an en route and found us the nearest dress store to the church so I can get a change of clothes and he could get to-
"I can't believe I got a supermodel for a wife. You can wear a plastic bag and still make it work baby" his glassy face gleamed while I glared.
The doubt resurfaces again. How can I look so gorgeous and not be boastful about it?
I just cannot.
He does it for me.
And as humble as I was for that, it didn't pass my vibe. This wasn't an honest compliment. He rather was trying to stall my attention from the fact that I was a bridesmaid and he was the best man. And we both were horribly late because my husband was a caffeine addict.
Since when?
I have no idea when it began. He always blamed it on Hwan. And Hwan seem to have matured in a way to not defend on his behalf and just accept his fault with a shrug.
What happened to my brother?
I wouldn't know.
Probably hard puberty and trauma from baby sitting my husband for so long .
I bring my fingers to the level of my face and angrily sign him my heart's desire.
"You are screwed. You are never touching coffee again"
He understands it better than I intended to.
"Oh, darling. Please stop screaming at me. People are looking at us"
He signs me back.
Even when I can perfectly hear him. He likes to put his newly learned skill to use. The terrible of them all is when he uses to seduce me with his naughty thoughts in public where no one gets what he suggests.
I do a fresh twirl for him. I stop to wiggle my brows asking his opinion on the maroon laced dress I had changed into.
"Sexy" he breaths hoarsely. He chuckles smirking when he notices my blush. But instead of ruffling my hair like he usually does- he engulfs me into a hug and kisses the top of my pinned-up head.
I melt in right there. But manage to somehow realize that he was still stalling.
So I step on him as he hopped back grunting. It turns out that when you have lost your time to a comatose stage, you as an individual start to screen all sorts of emotions. I haven't been holding back since the day I woke up.
I have been demanding, so had he. I have been wild and so is he. We had been a prisoner for so long that now we merely walk around in as civilized citizens only to remove our facade once alone.
The journey of healing had been challenging to say the least. They mostly were thorns than solace. I was a child learning to walk, my hand was my mouth retaining to talk. The communication Lee and I had lost would always put us in a strange place.
But every single time we bounced back into the crazed people who were willing to defy the odds.
We made our disability a weapon. And soon we could joke, talk and live without the impression of remorse over what we can't do.
Though he occasionally admits to missing my voice. It turns out it wasn't an aspect that we want back. We have more than we solicited for.
"Lean" I indicate.
When I suspected his innuendo in making. I tugged at his tie in turn causing him to slouch.
Bad choice.
The proximity had my breath taut. So I work on his weak tie and push him away before he could smile and enjoy my flushed nature.
"I think it's now you whose stalling," he says.
"I am not" my hands were determined to deny.
"You know I can hear your voice and emotions in them?" He takes a step near grabbing my wrist. Unfurling my fisted fingers he kisses my palms and settles in a loving smile "I can read you like a book and write you like a story Shin. I know it's the first wedding you are attending after our own"
If that is not it he interlaces his hand with mine and gets us moving. From the aile and from the store where he already seems to have purchased this attire for me.
Once in the car, he helps me with the tag on it as an eerie silence seems to house between us. Then I ask-
"Have you been to one?"
His lips thin into a dismal smile. Then he looks ahead at the sunny Californian street.
"I would skip them even in screens. Let alone be in an actual one"
I don't pry him further. Not when we drove, not when we met everyone. Not even when Isaac White seem to understand just what I was saying.
"It's been so long since we met aunt shin" he fills in as soon as Lee turns to greet Alexander White with a hug. Unlike Lee who's face remained young as soon as he got rid of his awful beard. The shadow of it seem to work for Mr. White who had just entered his thirties. And as for his son-
"I don't know if you know. But I have a certificate in ASL. So does my Mom. We can interpret what you say. That is-" the boy who's once cheeky chubs has now given a window to stark details blushes shyly " That is if you ever want to talk to someone"
Isaac was nine while Elzinas daughter turned three. And I couldn't believe it when Isaac understood when I spelled kangaroo for him.
Then it was a series of periods where I told him how much I missed him. He said he had been busy with his high school syllabus. I looked at Lee for correction. Turns out there wasn't a need for it- Isaac was a prodigy.
And it wasn't a surprise for many who knew Elzina Winston.
"Alex seems to be more relatable to his daughter now" Lee mumbles coming to stand next to me as soon as he checked on Edmund. While I on another hand was too scared to even move a feather - what was I to do when asked to be the bridesmaid of my celebrity crush Hailey Howard?
Say no.
In ASL?
I screamed in Caps lock asking Lee to agree with the arrangement. But to know that Edmund and Hailey's story began when the producer casted Hailey as the main lead for the book adaptation that I wrote was a revelation that took me days to get used to.
They had made a trilogy on it. And it had been an enormous hit among the audience. But wider the hit was when in between the shootings and commercials, something else sparked apart the artificial glamour of Hollywood.
The story of two rival Exes coming back together resurfaced.
It thought of it as a farce.
But here we are. In a secluded wedding where Fischer stood by the podium grinning widely in anticipation to start the ceremony.
"What's his daughter's name again?" I ask squinting at Alexander who had his little girl tucked by the arm while his wife applied her coat of lipstick. He seem to guide her verbally and she lacked a mirror on her.
"Iris"
"Such a pretty name" I state.
"He wants her to fail few exams in school" I snort at that, Lee chuckled as well "Alex wants someone in the family who he could relate to"
When Lee turns to me I nervously ask him something that I have meaning to do for months now.
But subtlety wasn't my forte and Lee seem to grasp my hesitation even before I could put it out for him.
"Not now baby" I exhale with my shoulders sagging. "I want this to. But I want to wait until-
" I am healthy. I got myself checked- I swear I am alright"
He nods sideways with a soft smile. Taking my hands in his, we both ignore the roll bells signalling the arrival of the groom.
"Just a year more. I promise" he says pressing his thumb against me. Simultaneously we turn to watch Edmund confidently make his way to the higher floor and we also watch it disperse the second he saw Hailey walking down the aisle.
His smile falters and his eyes fixes to her veil and it trains on her tenderly until she was there up with him.
When the ceremony commences Lee whispers to me with his hold never flaying from others.
"Do you want to get married again? Like a real one! May be- wait a year more as I resume my career in tracks and then we make lots of babies?"
Though our gaze watched a wedding. Our mind certainly dived in the past. To our day. To the one platonic agreement that led us here. I smile politely at the procession in front of us. And as for the answer -
I strengthen our hold and closed my eyes to savor the beauty of the bond the marriage held in my life.
The beauty that harvested adventures, passion, growth, love and life.
The beauty of us.
I don't have enough words to tell you all my tale of gratefulness. You guys are such a sweet potato. This had been an amazing journey and this genre of work helped me grow so much as a humble person. Lee and shin and their insecurities- they were the most difficult part of writing this book because how close it felt home.
I plan on editing my books as well as writing a new one that focuses on a dystopian world. If you want to stay updated do follow me on Instagram @viv_iscribble and here on wattpad.
Once again. Remember what a great green leafy vegetables you are. You guys are so healthy - thank you.