Last but certainly not least was me, who strutted over to the crown wearing Kakshi, who looked overwhelmed in presents.
"Do you have hands for one more thing?" I asked as he fumbled around with some of the gift before setting them down on the desk.
"Now I do." He responded, looking at me, "but you're not holding anything?"
"I don't need to, Watch this!" I said while making hand signs, "It's For My Research Style! "Icha Icha Paradise" Jutsu!"
Kakashi looked at me, giving me the look of, 'heh I knew it,' when a book with a (f/c) cover appeared between my fingers.
"And here we go! "Icha Icha Paradise: Birthday Special Edition" by the Pervy Sage himself. Or at least I think so."
"No way-"
"Yes way."
I gave him the book before smiling at him,
"Happy Birthday Kakashi!"
・.........................................━━━━━━━☆ ☆━━━━━━━.........................................・
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
"Wait- Pervy Sage?"
"It's for my research?"
"'Icha Icha Paradise'-"
"(Y/n)," Tsunade started, "do you know Jiraiya?"
"The hermit of Mount Myoboku, the wise and immortal spirit, THE TOAD MOUNTAIN SAGE?!" I stated excitedly.
"Hold it-" Naruto mumbled, "that sounds oddly familiar, believe it!"
"Of course I know the legendary sanin! Come on, you really didn't think that I wouldn'-"
Suddenly, there was a 'poof' and a crap ton of summoning smoke rolling into the room from the open window behind Tsunade's desk.
"No fucking way-"
"I HEARD MY NAME-"
Suddenly I could hear the japanese drums.
"IT 'TIS I-
THE TOAD MOUNTAIN SAGE"
I let out a high pithed screech and everyone covered their ears, even the new white haired Sanin.
The music slowing faded off, as did the summoning fog, which revealed a mane of spiky, white hair standing on a red toad that had a small part of it's tongue sticking out of its mouth.
"HOLY HECKING STICK- IT'S REALLY JIRAIYA- CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!" I fangirled screeched while waving a copy of "Icha Icha Paradise" that I had summoned with random gangsta hand signs I came up with.
"Oh! A person of culture I see!" Jiraiya responded, hopping off the top of the toad threw the window.
"Of course! How could I refuse a fan-" he said while walking up to me, "Wait, aren't you a bit young for that? How'd ya' get it anyways?"
"Oh Great Mountain Sage, I have read more fan fictions on Wattpad much smuttier than this. How old I am and how I got this masterpiece is irrelevant."
"Eh, fair enough."
I handed my *probrably stolen* book over to Jiraiya, who was much taller than he seemed in the anime, which is weird because he's 6'3".
Meanwhile in the background, everyone watched this interaction with hinged jaws wide enough to catch the Akatsuki. Seeing Jiraiya and I talk as if we've known each other for years was not what people were expecting, hell, Jiraiya wasn't- wait a damn minute-
"PERVY SAGE-"
"JIRAIYA-" Naruto and everyone screamed, especially Tsunade,
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"
"Meh, I was just in the neighborhood, you know, the usual." Said Jiraiya while signing my totally stolen book, even leaving a note on it, "And there was quite the ruckus going on, I could hear it front the other side of the village. So fes up Tsunade, what was all that about?"
"Long story short," Tsunade started, "the person who just gave you the book is-"
"I'm (Y/n)!" I interrupted, "I'm from another dimension!"
...
Ding ding ding, AHOOE
"WHAAAAAAAAT-"
"Ahhh~, I always love this reaction!" I smirked, looking at Jiraiya's flabbergasted face, his eyes wide and his mouth hitting the floor.
Everyone behind me facepalmed, with the exception of Lee and Gai-Sensei.
"Anyways, now that we 2 of the 3 Sanin here, did you see The Roach tm? I need to... have a "friendly" chat with him." I said while smiling "sweetly" at Jiraiya, hoping he knew where Orochimaru was so that I could smack him and The Minion the fuck up for seeing me naked in the bathroom.
And I suppose for breaking into my house but my honor is at stake here!
"The Roach?" Jiraiya stated, clearly over his previous shock, "Who?"
"Orichimaru." Kakashi and Tsunade stated for me, knowing I was probably going to say something stupid.
Which lets be fair,
Anything that comes out of my mouth is pure chaos at this point.
"Well if we're getting down to business-"
"TO DEFEAT THE HUNS!!!"
"...He's actually the reason I'm in the Village now." Jiraiya said while sweatdropping.
Everyone now went silent.
"Is he near?" Tsunade spoke, her, Kakashi, and Gai walking towards the white-haired Sanin.
"Well that's the thing,"
Everyone waited, slightly holding their breath.
Except for me, I was starting to get excited to chop that creeps weird ass tongue off.
'What that tongue do-'
'No, (Y/n), don't even THINK about that!'
"Anyways," I said, breaking the awkward tension, "I wanna try out some of these sick powers on that fuck, so if you could just tell me where he is I'll just be on my way~"
Suddenly I felt a ton of weight on my back as my I kissed the ground. Hard.
"Oh you're not going anywhere, not after today."
"Gyeh, GET OFF ME KAKASHI- YOUR BREAKING THE LAW-"
"What law?"
"The law of my personal space" I huffed.
"Too bad, I could sense you were about to do something stupid. Sakura, come over here and tie their wrists together."
"What!" I protested, "Objection! Objection Your Honor! This is unlawful arrest, gET OFF ME YOU SILVER MUFFIN, I GAVE YOU ICHA ICHA-"
"And you also gave me a headache."
"Kakashi don't make me drop another light on your head."
"You wouldn't dare."
"I did it once I can do it again."
"Only if you promise not to go after Orochimaru alone."
"Okay, I can actually promise that."
"You better not jump out that window, okay?"
"Okay, okay, just get off me already!"
Kakashi stood up and let me stand up, giving me a wary glare as I swept the imaginary dust off of my clothes. I then looked at everyone in the room.
"Aight, Jiraiya, spill the tea: where's Orichimaru so that I-" Kakashi glared at me, "a-and everyone can totally uh- just talk to him. Yeah, just, a friendly chat."
Jiraiya yet again sweatdropped and asked, "So what's a cat person from another dimension going to 'talk' about with Orichimaru?"
"About how that little shit probably, most definitely, did some weird ass jutsu to bring me here."
"Is that all?"
"Don't is that all me, I already told you that he and his stupid ass minion SAW ME NAKED- AND THEY BROKE INTO MY HOUSE. THE ROACH DESERVES TO GET BEAT."
After I said, that, Sakura came over and patted my shoulder in reassurance, although I didn't necessarily need it, I was thankful for the gesture.
"Okay, and who's going with you, (y/n)?" Asked Kakashi, sighing as he knew that I was not just going to 'talk' with The Roach.
"Well," I started, "Jiraiya since he knows the way, and basically anyone else who feels like punch- I mean anyone who feels like coming can come with- I guess."
"Believe it! I'm coming with you!"
"If Naruto's going, I better go to make sure his dumbass doesn't get himself in trouble."
"Hn."
"I-If Naruto is going, then I'll go too."
"If Hinata goes I go too."
"I shall go too!"
"If my students are going, I will go too!"
*sigh* "If my Sensei goes, then I'll go too."
"I literally don't know who you are."
"Woof!"
"Fine if Akamaru wants to come then I'll go too."
I stared out at everyone who just proclaimed that they wanted to go beat up- I mean have a 'friendly chat' with The Roach.
"Welp, I was totally counting and it sounds like all who's left is you, Tsunade, and Jiraiya! So whaddya say? You commin' too?"
I looked over to Kakashi who let a reserved sigh, and then nodded, I then looked to Tsunade, who said:
"Meh, it's better than doing paperwork."
I then finally looked over to Jiraiya,
"Soooooooo... Where's he at? I got a whole ass crew behind me to back me up too."
Jiraiya then laughed his ass off like there was no tomorrow.
"BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH- I like you kid- so! I'll tell you where he's at. But that's it."
"Awwwww, but I wanted to see all three of the Legendary Sanin together." I pouted at Jiraiya, hearing Kakashi sigh behind me.
"Kid, what would happen if Orochimaru knew that I was tailing him? And not only that, if Tsunade and Naruto were there as well. He'd think we came to fight."
"Well we kinda ar- I mean would a sexy girl change your mind?"
"..."
"A SEXY GIRL?! WHOA MOMMA WITH-"
"WITH RIPE AND LUCIOUS WITH CURVES LIKE THAT, AND BIG BUT NOT TOO BIG, KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!" Jiraiya said in synch with me, us both grinning like idiots.
"Haha you perv, I got that comin right up."
Everyone in the room was silent.
"BUT YOU SAID IT WITH HIM-" everyone yelled, including Kakashi, who was still shocked for some reason even though I have a copy of "Icha Icha Paradise".
"Why do y'all look so shocked? Is it that amazing that I'm attracted to women? Anyways, Naruto come 'ere. You know what to do."
"I do, Believe it!"
Meanwhile, in the background, you could hear the gears turning in Hinata's mind, echoing: "I'm attracted to women" on repeat. She flashbacked to when you kissed her forehead, and then her brain connected the dots.
For Sakura, her brain was only thinking about the cuddle session you two had earlier that day, and she could feel her heat up at the thought of it, with your "I'm attracted to women" floating around in her head, and teetered to the corner with Hinata.
For TenTen, she remembered petting your cat ears, which are still there by the way, and how you reacted, and her brain went haywire as she leaned onto the well next to Hinata.
Suddenly, all girls faces flushed a bright red, and all of them sunk to the ground. In Hinata's case, she fainted. For Sakura's and Tenten's, they were flustered.
Sasuke nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw all three girls fall down, while you and Naruto were starting to come up with your master plan to get Jiraiya to join your "Time to Beat The Roach The Fück UP" party.
"What in the world...?" He whispered to himself as Neji saw the state that his cousin was in and rushed to her side to ensure she wasn't coming down with a a cold.
Back to me, yes, it 'tis I, (Y/n). I am currently working with Naruto to come up with the sexiest shit that Jiraiya will ever see, because we all know that this man will never see such majesty again.
"Yo, Naruto, how do you do the transformation Jutsu?"
"Uh, with your chakra? Why are you asking?"
"Because I don't know how to do it!" I whisper shouted at him.
"How don't you know how to use the Transformation Jutsu?!" Naruto whisper shouted back, making my cat ears twitch.
"You know what Imma just do something and hope for the best like I usually do."
"So (Y/n), where's that girl you were talking about?" Jiraiya questioned, steam coming out fo his nose.
"Heheh let's do this Naruto."
"Yeah, believe it!"
"Sexy Jutsu!"
"Naruto Style! Sexy Jutsu!"
There were two distinct 'poofs' as well as a large amount of summoning smoke rolling around the building, even past the three girls who were flushed and on the floor.
"Okay guys~" I said with a much more feminine voice than usual, "if you are faint of heart, I'd suggest turning around now~"
Anyone who was talking instantly became quite, although if it was from shock or anticipation I will never know.
Suddenly the three girls on the floor perked up, and froze as they processed the situation.
Kakashi tried his best to hide behind his book though.
"Oh Pervy-Sage~" A beautiful, and barley clothed, female Naruto said from behind Jiraiya.
"We're right over here you know~ come on Jiraiya-Sensei I thought you were a shinobi~" I whispered from behind him, and I saw a shiver go up his spine.
To say Jiraiya got what he wanted was an understatement.
In fact, almost everyone in the room had nosebleeds, even Tsunade.
I bet you guys are wondering if I'm wearing anything right now.
Which I am, come on guys we all know that more being left to the imagination is hot.
While Fem!Naruto was in a cute bikini, I decided to be much more classy than him.
*all art belongs to the respective artist, who is not me*
"PERFECT!!!!! 1000000/10!!!!! THIS GIVES ME THE BEST IDEA'S FOR MY NEXT BOOK!!!"
Yes, while Naruto went with the 'showing skin' approach, I decided to do the opposite.
Instead, I decided to go classy.
*all art belongs to the respective artist, who is not me*
*only what you're wearing*
It was clear to me right at that second that none of these people have seen a woman in a suit before.
Or fake implants but we'll leave that for another time.
I saw the three girls in the back, and when I saw their flustered faces, I knew what I had to do.
I sent them a wink with a small tail flick, and said:
"What can I do for you, My Lady?"
I heard a high pitched tea kettle noise as I watched the three of them blush harder. I chuckled slightly when I saw Hinata and TenTen faint and Sakura stand up abruptly.
As I waited for her to be a little tsundere and stomp up to me, I walked over to a very, distrubed, Kakashi.
"You doin' alright there Sensei? Or - pardon my manners - are you feeling alright, Master~?"
Everyone watched in shock as Kakashi crumbled down to his knee's after I whispered in his ear, and he swiftly punched the ground after he heard my chuckle when I stepped passed his obviously flushed face and waltzed over to Sasuke, who had been avoiding looking at me ever since the transformation.
"What's wrong Young Master? You were so keen to punch me earlier, but now you can't even look into my eyes?"
"I-It's nothing." Sasuke managed to stutter out, still not looking at me. I then strutted my way over to the wall he was leaning on, and I smirked as a plan crossed my mind.
"Are you sure Young Master? Is there noting I could," *BAM* , "help you with?," I purred into his ear while pinning him to the wall with one arm, noticing his already red blush turn crimson, as well as the sound of graphite on paper as Jiraiya frantically took notes.
"I- I, uh,"
"Heheh, I knew someone had a kitty fetish~" I whispered slyly into Sasuke's ear, and his hands shook violently as I walked away, trailing my tail around his leg while doing so.
"Hey Naruto, come here, I got an idea I'd like to try~"
"On my way~" Naruto responded, leaving a nose-bleeding sage behind him.
Naruto and I sauntered our way to the last three boys, who had all unconsciously walked closer together after they saw what I did to Kakashi and Sasuke with a few simple words.
"Well hello boys~"
"It seems we've multiplied, whatever will you do now?"
Lee's face was noticeably flushed.
Kiba was noticeably disgruntled and slightly flustered with Akamaru on his shoulder, who was visually confused about his owners current state.
And then there was Neji, who was pulling off the tsundere look quite well. He was already blushing, but had a slight stubborn streak to him since he closed his eyes and whipped his head to the right to avoid making any kind of eye contact with me or Naruto.
I chuckled yet again and went to deal with Neji while I let Naruto have fun with messing with the two other boys.
"Well hello there pretty boy~"
"Who're calling pretty boy?!" Neji snapped back.
"Hm? Well, the really pretty boy who is in front of me, who else?" I spoke to him while purposefully twitching my ears and waving my tail in a slow, methodical manner, "Oh~ is that a blush I see? I think it is~" I whispered into his ear once I got close enough.
"N-No it's not!"
"Is that so~? So when I feel your precious little checks, they won't be warm?"
"I- um-"
"That's what I thought," I softly caressed his checks and made Neji look into my eyes, "Master~"
That was sadly all Neji could take as I watched him blow a fuse and turn into Hinata.
"Hm, good to know that look runs in the family." I noted as I checked on Naruto, who was looking at me with mischief in his eyes, and as I looked behind him, I saw that both Kiba and Lee were thinking deeply about their sexuality.
I winked at Naruto and ran to Gai-Sensei, who had a slightly flushed face.
"I see my student knows how to make my rival fall to his knee's! May I know your technique?"
"Of course! Although it is mostly be sexy, but also be kind of mysterious. That's hot as fuck."
"I will try it next time we compete!" Smiled Gai.
I couldn't bring myself to mess with him, so I gave him a big hug instead, which he reciprocated with gusto.
After having a bonding hug with Gai-Sensei, I walked over to Tsunade, who also looked like she was starting to question her sexuality a bit. I looked over to Naruto who was once again messing with Jiraiya, and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"So uh- you said you needed to examine the car features right?"
"I do suppose I said that, we just want to make sure that they aren't harming you in any way."
"Right!"
So Tsunade then basically got to play with my ears and tail to make sure they weren't hurting me, and then sent me back over to Naruto.
"Is your nose done bleeding yet Pervy-Sage? We need to know that location now." Naruto asked Jiraiya as he turned back into his normal self, although I opted to stay in my suit.
"Well, no- but I'll go with you guys if you both stay like that."
"NOT A CHANCE!" Naruto yelled into Jiraiya's ear, making him cover his poor head.
"Fine," Jiraiya huffed, "Orochimaru is camping our here..."
The white-haired Sanin then proceeded to show us where The Roach was hiding on a map, and then kept it because, "I'm going with you, and I don't want the two of you running off by yourselves and getting killed".
Which rude,
The Roach couldn't kill me even if he tried.
I'd already die just from exposure.
"Well, I guess we'll raid tomorrow." I said to Naruto with a mischievous glint in my eye.
"Since were done here..." I trailed off, prepared to book it yet again with Naruto, who picked up on my signal and started baking away slowly, "SLEEP OVER AT KAKASHI'S PLACE!!!"
I then ran with Naruto, grabbed Sakura and Hinata while Naruto grabbed TenTen, and booked it to the window.
"Oh and by the way Jiraiya-" I said before Kakashi computed what I said, "these are plastic."
I reached inside my vest and grabbed one of the round, plastic boobs that my jutsu created and chucked it at him, and then jumped out the window with cackling Naruto and hearing a crying Jiraiya.
・.........................................━━━━━━━☆ ☆━━━━━━━.........................................・
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Wow, I'm back from the dead guys.
And from the dead I mean studying for midterms, which kicked my ass by the way.
Also you guys. How tf did this get thousands of reads? LIKE DUDE- I JUST WRITE THIS FOR FUN I DIDN'T EXPECT PEOPLE TO SHOW UP-
So thanks for that.
Also one last announcement before I go and pass out because it's almost 4 in the morning.
I'm writing another book! Surprise you little fiends!
Although it's not another Naruto fic.
It's a One Piece Fic instead!
So if you like this crackhead (Y/n), you're probably going to like that (Y/n) since this is yet again another crackhead fic.
So far I've only posted the prologue, but I have TONS of idea's for "Save My Heart".
Yes I know the cover art *which I made* and the title sound serious, but that's just because the Marine Ford arc ran me over with a ton of emotional feels trucks, EVEN THOUGH I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN-
Anyways, now I'm done promoting my new book which isn't this book, so enjoy this instead while I go to bed.
~Author-chan