I found myself standing outside the compound while the sun sets under the horizon. I watched as Natasha sat in front of her window with a blanket covering her whole body, she looks pale, and sad, and depressed, and unhappy. Okay that's all one. I decided to call her with my burner phone. It rang three times before she finally picked up.
"Hi," I started softly, I heard her sniffle before she said. "Do I know you?" She asked confused.
"No," I answered. "Do I know you?" I asked back and I heard her sigh. "Look I'm not in the mood to talk to strangers right now, so bye."
"Wait!" I half-yelled before she could hang up.
"Yes?" She asked again. It took me a while to say anything until I finally gave in. "How are you?" I asked softly.
"And why would a stranger care about how I'm doing?" She snapped.
"Maybe because... As the saying says 'it's way more easier to open up with a stranger because they wouldn't judge'," I quoted, I looked over to the window and saw her wipe her tears. "Are you crying?" I asked her. "No," she denied as he voice cracked a little.
She took in a deep breath. "I lost someone who is very very important to me," she started. "And I... miss her a lot," she added in between sobs.
"I'm so sorry for your loss," I answered genuinely.
"Don't. It wasn't your fault," she answered. She then took in another deep breath. "I didn't even had the chance to tell her that I love her too," it was like a whisper but I could still hear it.
"Why didn't you tell her when you had the chance?" I asked.
" 'Cause she told me that she moved on, and I- I couldn't face the fact that I haven't moved on," she answered.
Every word that was coming out of her mouth shattered me but at the same time it also pushed me.
"Why don't you tell her now?" I asked and I saw her roll her eyes from afar.
"I already told you that she's dead-"
"What if she isn't," I cut her off as I revealed myself from behind a tree. "What if she's outside?" I saw her furrow her eye brows.
"I mean what would you do if she's outside like right now?" I retort, she was silent for a moment and then.
She sighed. "I would tell her that I love her and that I want to be with her for the rest of my life," she answered as her voice breaks at the last part, my eyes welled up a bit but I didn't let the tears fall.
"I have an idea," I smiled. "Why don't you imagine that I'm her and talk to me, tell me everything you wanted to tell her."
She scoffed. "Are you serious?" I hummed in response. "Mmm-hmm, only if you want to of course," I added, and I heard her release a shaky breath.
"Hey uhm, it's Nat, this is going to be cheesy, but I don't care..." she took in another deep breath and damn I wasn't ready to what I would be hearing. "You jackass! you left me again, and why the fuck would you do that, is it really your thing of leaving everybody behind especially your ex-girlfriend. I really can't with you, you dumbass," she shouts.
"You promised me that you won't leave me yet you did twice. Y/n TWICE!!!... Why? What did I do wrong? Why couldn't you just be mine and stay with me forever. Why does it have to be you!" She exclaimed.
"I needed you!!! You know that? I fucking need you in my life and I have NO idea how to live without you. Yes, I may have managed eleven years without you but I knew you were alive and that I had hope that I'll see you again. But this time? I won't be seeing you again, 'cause you're fucking gone forever, and I can't accept that. I can't—" She finished in between sobs and she didn't even bother to wipe her tears.
I cried silently since I didn't want her to know that it was me who she was talking to. My insides felt like it has been flipped outwards as her words replayed in my head. Damn I really 'caused her that much pain.
"Hey you still there?" She asked and I heard her sigh in relief and I knew it made her feel better.
"Y-yeah," I stutter. "I'm still here" I cleared my throat. "Wow, that was a lot!" I added and I heard her giggle for the first time in a very long time.
"Yeah it kind of been bottled up....and I uhm thank you," her voice was a bit shy, making me giggle. "Wait," she added.
"What?" I asked. "That giggle — your giggle is the same as hers," she stated, making me gulp.
"EY! What a coincidence," I cheered, knowing that I fucked up.
"I don't believe in coincidences, but maybe I'm just hearing things," she answered.
"Oh yeah maybe. Uhm, I gotta go bye and nice to meet you-"
"But I didn't say my name," it came out like a question from her.
"Oh you did, earlier, you said your name was Nat," I answered.
"Oh yeah, I forgot. Okay then, bye," I heard her hang up, so I threw my burner phone in the water.
"You are a BIG idiot," I heard Clint's voice behind my back. "You have the guts to call her but you didn't tell her that it was you," he stated, making me turn around to face him.
"I know I am," I answered and he made an eye roll. "You're coming with me," he grabs my wrists and started pulling me inside the compound. "What!? CLINT!! Let go of me," he tightenes his grip even more.
"No, you think I don't know about you drinking with Sam and Steve tonight?... I know damn well and I'm going to join you," He said, making me sigh in relief 'cause I thought he'll show me to Natasha.
"But it's just seven p.m," I complained.
He smirked. "The earlier we start the better," he winked at me and sat me down in the couch where the boy's were.
(Steve, Sam, Bucky, Clint, Thor, and You)
A few hours later our chatters and laughters could be heard to the whole compound as all of us got drunk. I grab another shot and leaned back on the couch.
I laughed and they all looked at me confused. "She fucking told me... That...she loves me," I said outloud unaware of who I was talking to.
"She what?!" I heard Bucky yelled, making me laugh again.
"Earlier *hiccup* I called her... And she told me she loves me *hiccup* she don't know it was me," I blurted out drunk.
"Can't you speak more evident," Sam demands. I took in a deep breath and got all my strenght.
"NATASHA TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVES ME!" I didn't mean to shout but I did to the point where the redhead appeared on the doorway.
"I told who what?!" She exclaimed as her eyes widens.
Abort.
I quickly made my way behind the couch so she wouldn't see me. What if she did? No.
"Oh hey tiny, wanna drink," Thor offered but she glared at him.
"Who said that?" She asked firmly. The whole room went quiet as they keep on glancing at eachother not knowing what to say.
"I uhm... It was me," Clint tried to stand up but he couldn't due to the alcohol that he consumed. "It's true... I mean you still love y/n right?" He has a smug look, making the redhead even more pissed. She was about to hit him, so, I stood up and revealed myself.
"Hey there," I waved at her and she swiftly looked away from Clint to face me, I smiled widely and she just stood there shocked. "I'm sorr-" she slapped me hard, making my jaw clenched with my head whipping to the side. "Ow,"
"Just making sure you're real."
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