This contains spoilers that happen right after the last episode of Season 4, Part 1.
-
RAIN DROPLETS drumming onto your bruised cheeks gently pulled you towards consciousness. Despite its coolness, you fought to return to sleep. Wrapped in a warm blanket that smelled like home, the inkling that you had a bad headache entered your mind. Possibly you had the flu, and this was why Levi allowed you to stay in bed while he left to make you a cup of tea. Eren's hand stroked your cheek and you didn't want to push it away, as you would in wakefulness, never wanting him to know how much you craved his caring touch even though you didn't see yourself agreeing with him anymore.
Then there was a low voice, and it wasn't Eren or Levi, and uneasiness raked over you.
"The only way... to save Eldia... is to put us... out of our misery."
"That was your plan?" another voice sneered. "Mercy killings? Well, you're about to die inside a Titan's rotten mouth to the sound of your own body being chewed to pieces. It's a pity I won't be vivisecting your insides with my own hands."
Your eyes shot open and the sense of security vanished. You were drenched cold from head to toe, not at home, not with Eren, but on a creaky wooden carriage being handled by none other than Captain Levi himself. You laid beside Zeke, shivering in the cold rain. The air was tainted with the unmistakable scent of blood. You turned to look at Zeke beside you. Your soul nearly flew when you saw the thunderspear lodged in his stomach. A string was attached to the end of the spear, with the other end noosed around his neck. One move, and a blast would kill you both.
He was steaming below the knees. You saw bits of something raw and meaty sliced up where his ankles should have been. It took you a moment to realize the chunks of flesh were actually Zeke's feet, skillfully butchered by Levi himself. The haggard, pale face of the captain slid into view. He was looking down at you, green cloak over his head and a look of mild disgust painted on his face.
"Awake already?"
When you opened your mouth to speak, you found that your throat was dry and raspy. "I don't seem to be asleep."
Levi ignored you and continued to insult the cut-up man beside you. You gingerly lifted your head to find your hair and clothes completely drenched. You attempted to bring your hands to your temples where you had been hit, only to find that they had been tied with thick rope behind your back.
"Considering that you stole the lives of so many of my friends, I'd say that being eaten is a pretty merciful death for you."
"Your friends," Zeke continued weakly. "No, I saved them. Them and their children would be—they wouldn't be a burden to the human race, and they wouldn't have lived in suffering. From this cruel world—"
"Where are... where are you taking me?" you interrupted, squinting at Levi through the raindrops in your eyes. He looked back at you for a moment before he swung his legs over the seat and rested his elbows on his knees as he bent down to look at you.
"Away from Eren and this idiot here. I don't quite know what they've done to you yet."
Levi gave you a hard look, searching for the cracks in your voice, the evidence that you hadn't been corrupted.
"You would never abandon the rest of us," he said. "I've always known how bad you are at telling lies. I can see you don't want to do what you're trying to do right now. You hardly put any effort into fighting me."
"You just caught me at a disadvantage."
"Maybe that's true. But you're hard-headed. You don't let things like that faze you. You said it yourself that you worked your way up to be the standard of a member in the Ackerman clan."
"I'm doing this because I trust Eren," you lied.
"Another lie," he said matter-of-factly. "Would you really prioritize Eren over Paradis Island?"
A spurt of anger flared inside of you. Who was he to make assumptions about you? Yet it was hard to be angry at him, because you had failed yourself. Levi was too rational to believe the words coming out of your mouth.
You groaned in frustration. "Levi, you'll understand someday," you said. "When the time comes, you'll see why I did it. You've always been better than me anyway."
He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean—?"
"I didn't steal anything," interrupted Zeke. He was breathing heavily now, pathetic and injured beside you. "I've always hated having Eldian blood — I didn't want — I didn't want to be —"
"Looks like you're growing another leg," said Levi, his lip curling down as he unsheathed his sword. "How about we change that?"
"Mister Ksaver! I hope you're watching over me!"
Everything seemed to become slower, quieter. Zeke then yanked his entire upper body backwards, pulling the pin that connected to the delicate thunderspear lodged in his bruised stomach. Your eyes widened in alarm just as Levi grabbed you by the shoulders and shielded your head with his arms. The thunderspear exploded.
The blast hauled you off the carriage and you were blown backward into the air. The impact with the hard-packed earth knocked the wind out of you, the mud doing little to soften the blow. A crisp crunching sound was faint on your eardrums as you and Levi slammed onto wet soil. It was a blessing and a punishment that your head had been placed within the crook of his elbow, sparing your skull from bursting in a single hit, but adding to the injuries on his arm.
Cold rain and dust mixed together as they splattered onto your eyes. There was something else, too. Blood from Levi's fresh wounds were leaking onto your hands as you both caught fire. Your calf began to burn as the attacking rain began a hard battle with weak licks of flames that engulfed your left leg.
The last thing you heard was the panicked neighing of the horses while you lay with Levi on the muddy ground. You abruptly turned yourself over and threw yourself over Levi, shielding his body as shattered bits of debris, some of it burning, rained down on you. His blood seeped onto your clothes, soaking you in the darkest shade of red, like you had been dipped deep into the chambers of a heart.
He choked out, and blood from his mouth splattered onto your face like the rain droplets above you. Internal bleeding, you realized. This was no ordinary blood from teeth being punched. This was a series of multiple fatal wounds from his internal organs, wounds that might never heal. You were a medic who could not treat him.
A thick, fetid smoke filled the air, which was not the best solution for two freshly-injured people desperately trying to regain the oxygen in their lungs. After a minute of the earth shaking, the world went still again. You rolled onto your side and allowed yourself to close your eyes. You had nearly forgotten just how powerful a single thunderspear could be.
"Captain," you croaked. You forced yourself to withstand the dizziness and opened your eyes again to look at your captain laying beside you, his mangled face to the ground.
Panic filled you. Was he dead? You brought a shaky hand to the side of his neck and felt a pulse. You weakly bowed your head in relief.
Other than the fact that you were bleeding yourself, you didn't dare turn him over in fear that it would only worsen the injuries of his internal organs. You reached for his palm, then retracted your hand in horror. Levi was missing his middle and index fingers.
You were paralyzed. Levi never got badly injured. How could that be so? He had always won every battle, fought with every last bit of the power the Ackerman clan gifted to him. The idea that the very last person who could be defeated was now the weaker one filled you with dread. You slammed a fist onto the muddy ground in frustration. If only you had acted quicker. It seemed to be your biggest regret nowadays.
The rain continued to fall as you closed your eyes. Every last cell of your body screamed in pain, but you forced yourself to crawl on all fours towards the stream of water that bubbled in a crevice of rocks. You plunged your hands into the shallow water and felt instant relief.
You bathed the blood and ash from your face. The pain in your hands could not compare with the pain in your abdomen, which was where Zeke's spear had hurt you best, where the wounds would have been fatal if it weren't for Levi. You dangled your hands in the water and clumsily swirled your fingers around like a child playing with paint.
Levi. When would you stop owing him your life?
You got a glimpse of the wounds on his body— gaping, charred flesh. It was no strange injury to you. You hated fires and explosions and burns, and have always hated them since that awful day in Shiganshina District. Both times had been the result of Zeke.
Beyond the stream you could see him, stupidly laying on the ground with his nose up. Rage turned your fingers stiff and you were overwhelmed with the urge to claw at his torn face. Your breaths turned ragged as you wheezed with pain. There would be no revenge for you now. Perhaps Zeke thought that you would want to partake in his double suicide. But he was a fool to think that a single thunderspear would be the end of you.
The rain filled your vision and you closed your eyes to darkness.
-
YOU ENTERED A NIGHTMARE from which you woke repeatedly only to find another terror awaiting you. All the things you dreaded the most, all the people you loved living through what you dreaded the most, manifested in such vivid detail that you wondered if this dream sequence was even ordinary. Each time you woke, you searched for safety, only to be pulled back into another chapter of torture.
You knew this was the nature of the Eldians, where a path connected all and showed what you feared in your sleep. You came to your senses when someone began to gently slap you awake.
"Y/N? Y/N, can you hear me?"
You opened your eyes to see Daphne kneeling over you, Floch behind her and wielding a rifle. Behind them were other members of the Jaegerists, soaked in the rain. Beside you, kneeled Hange as they held an impaired Levi in their arms.
"He must have been hit by a thunderspear explosion at close range," said Floch. "Is he dead yet? Let me send a shot through his head, just to be sure."
"He's dead," you quickly lied through a dry, raspy tone. "I killed him myself. His insides are in shreds."
"You shot him?"
"I threw the thunderspear when he was trying to escape with Zeke on the carriage. It was a direct hit."
"And why are you covered in blood?"
You winced. "He... He beat me up in the woods. And I'm laying with him here because I passed out after checking his pulse."
Hange glanced at you with a look of disbelief as they checked for the confirmation of Levi's passing. You saw their hand go to the spot on his neck and were certain that they had felt the pulse of life. A quizzical expression took over, but you refused to look them in the eye. They now knew you had lied. But the question lay in what they would make out of it.
Floch shook his head as Daphne brought a jug of water to your lips. "I didn't think you had it in you to kill Captain Ackerman."
You trusted Hange to deal with the rest. You glanced at them and slightly tilted your head to the stream. It was deep enough for them to swim into without getting shot. They were going to escape. Their eye slightly widened at the realization while you turned your head away, wiping mud from your cheekbones.
"I'll — I'll leave this place to you," you said, forcing yourself to stand and forcing the contents of your stomach to not spill out of your throat. "Zeke is nearby. He won't be killed by a thunderspear either."
"Where is he?" asked Floch. At that moment, a blonde Titan nearby began to billow with steam. While the other soldiers shot up with alarm, you stood without fear, knowing what must have become of Zeke.
"He'll be fine."
Someone fetched the reins of your horse from within the woods and handed them to you. Floch watched your bruised, mud-and-blood-covered form hop on top of the saddle and pull the black hood over your head.
"Sure you don't need a ride?" he asked.
"No," you replied, pulling on the reins to steady yourself on the mare's back. "I've done what I came here to do. I'm going to meet back with Eren."
Before Floch could waste any more of your time, you kicked the side of your horse and rode off to Shiganshina District in the rain, your cloak billowing in all directions from behind you as you left.
-
THE SUN BEGAN TO SHINE through the clouds as you rode towards the wall up ahead. Out of the three walls of Paradis, Wall Maria had always been the widest, providing the largest amount of space. Yet despite its rule of thewness, it was also the wall that failed to protect its inhabitants. After all, Wall Maria was for the poor, the stragglers, and those who were fated to be sacrificed to the mercy of the Titans.
It was only fitting that the place where Eren suffered his first loss would also be where he would begin the end of the reign of terror.
As you entered the gate, you noticed that it was deserted. The citizens had been evacuated already, leaving only the soldiers in the military behind. You rode through the town heading towards the military's headquarters, where members of the Jaegerists were waiting for you with surprise on their faces.
"Miss L/N!" called out Elise in surprise, immediately leading a swarm of helpers around you with towels in hand. "You're covered in blood! Are you alright?"
"It's nothing," you replied, brushing off her concern and stalking off from their attempts at drying you off. "What's the situation here?"
"Yelena is here. We've labeled those who drank the wine with armbands, and Miss Ackerman and the rest of your old squadmates have been imprisoned in a single cell underground. That little Eldian girl, Gabi, was also put in confinement because Eren wants her to eradicate any other infiltrators."
"I would like to have a word with Eren," you told her.
She nodded quickly, face flushed with a happy red as she began directing the rest of the soldiers to other stations. Out of habit, you wiped your shoes clean of mud on the rug before stepping inside the headquarters. Your footsteps echoed as you walked, blood and water dripping from your clothes. You were yet to catch your reflection in the mirror, unsure whether your face was just as dirty.
You entered a sitting room where you would wait for Eren. On the table was a tray full of unlit cigarettes and a lighter, waiting to be used. You cringed. You had been blowing away your life when Levi risked his own to save yours. You took the sticks in your hands and forcefully snapped them apart one by one, watching in dumb amazement as the ash dust from the cigarettes trinkled down to the floor.
The door swung open. You lifted your eyes to meet Eren's. He took in the sight of you, drenched but windswept, and covered in an angry tide of red, vivid splashes that had not yet dried to rust. His first thought was that you were wounded, on the verge of death.
Eren reached out and firmly grasped your arm. You stared at each other for a moment before he sharply spoke:
"Where are you hurt?"
You looked away. "My legs caught fire for a second. But I'm fine."
"Who did this to you?" he demanded. "Levi?"
"It was your dear older brother," you said bitterly. "Zeke. Dumb bastard. He's on his way here with Floch."
"You're covered in blood," he stated. His brows were drawn deep in concern. "Whose blood is that?"
"I don't know," you answered. "Thunderspears had a wider attack range than I remember."
"You shouldn't have gone alone," he said. "Did you do what you went to do?"
No, you wanted to tell him. No, Levi saw through you. And now Hange could, too. But regardless of what they thought, that wouldn't stop you.
"Levi and Hange have been dealt with," you said. "For now, at least."
Eren slightly squeezed your arm, looking at your clothes and seeing how the blood clung to you like a vice. It was unsightly in the pristine room.
"You need a bath," he said.
"I am aware."
Your voice was on edge, but lacking the brittleness that once swayed in your cords. Eren drew back, watching you stare him down as a trail of blood dripped down your cheek like the mother virgin's teardrop.
"I'll run you a bath," he said.
-
WATER RAN DOWN YOUR TEMPLE. Eren's hands were holding your hair in a bunch so he could dab a cloth against your face as you sat upright in the bathtub, hugging your legs and zoning out, thinking about other things. His sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows so he could uninterruptedly get his forearms wet while he bathed you.
The tub had been drained and refilled continuously because you had filled it up with so much blood and muck. You didn't mind, or care, as Eren poured buckets of water over your head, rinsing endless amounts of soap off your bare body. Now you were almost clean, only Eren insisted that there was leftover dirt on your face and it had to be wiped. You didn't know why he was trying to clean something that didn't exist, when he stopped taking care of himself a long time ago.
"The scar on your shoulder is gone," he said.
The air thickened again. You didn't know why. Perhaps it was because you had almost died, or because you were at fault for Levi almost dying, or because you were literally and figuratively naked and bathed by the only person who still seemed to love you. You felt raw again, flimsy and stripped-down to hopelessness again. Perhaps it was because you knew that a storm was brewing, and you would stand in the eye of the hurricane soon.
"My scar?"
"It disappeared."
Surely enough, you checked your shoulder to see it was missing, replaced by smooth skin that told you it had never existed in the first place. "Shame," you said, tracing circles over the part. "That was once a trophy."
"You don't have to be reminded of that violence anymore," he said.
You side-eyed him. "You once said that it made me, and I quote, 'perfect'."
Eren's hand fell limply from your face. "Is this your way of saying that neither of us are anymore?"
You lowered your eyes. "We never were."
You flitted your jaw away from Eren again, unable to meet his calculating gaze. He looked down at your hips, where he could see the bruises he had left yesterday plain behind all the other injuries you were currently sustaining. You felt your eyes begin to moisten with emotion and furiously wiped them before he could notice.
After a minute of silence, you swallowed. "Bring me a towel, please. I think I'm okay now."
-
EREN WIPED YOU DRY as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. He touched your skin gently as though one hard motion would send the tissue tearing like old parchment. The room did not belong to you, and everything felt cold. Your heart thumped with the instinctive sense of danger.
A towel was wrapped around your body. Looking at your own face was like seeing yourself through another person's eyes.
"I'm glad that you came back safely," said Eren, wiping a spot underneath your ear. His hands were warm against your skin. "It wasn't the best idea to let you go after Levi alone. Did you think he wouldn't hurt you?"
"The opposite," you replied.
Eren paused for a moment to look at you, then continued on. "There are other ways to injure yourself."
"Like telling the people you love that you hate them."
His hand came to rest on your shoulder. You locked gazes in the mirror, eyes full of a longing for life and a hidden regret.
All it took was one tug, and he was crumbling at your feet. His hands slowly wrapped around your upper torso, ensnaring you in a familiar warmth. Only now did you realize that you had been shivering. Before your hurts had stung the heart, but there had always been person after person there for you. Now, there was only Eren.
His face, as if heated with fever, pressed your cheek against his. You felt your hands begin to move, stroking his arms and the length of his body with yours. At first he did not seem to understand, until he did.
"You don't want to be with me," he said. He began to withdraw, but you held onto him.
"Nobody will be looking for us," you said, calm and sure. You turned your head to face him, and you saw him dubiously looking at your lips. You leaned in, and he closed the gap between.
The kiss couldn't mask what dwindled inside. It was hot and urgent, the feeling of tomorrow never coming again hanging above your head. Eren's lips were surprisingly softer than they looked, and you pulled him in for more. It felt good, warm and embracing and tasting like happier days. You parted your lips, and his tongue slid in almost hesitantly, not knowing if this was what you were comfortable with.
He pulled away, looking unsure of himself.
"Is this what you really want?"
Your fingers enclosed around his sleeves. You were selfish. You wanted to feel loved by someone again. Only Eren could grant you that.
Even if you couldn't do the same for him.
Your grip on him tightened and you leaned in to whisper in his ear, slow and speaking with a sureness. "I want you."
He still looked doubtful. You lifted his chin up and pecked his lips, a gesture that was innocent and small. Disgust threatened to raise from your throat, but you swallowed it down and forced yourself to remember how much you did care.
The world was in his eyes. You looked into them to see not the grey storm clouds, but instead the shine of the bright sea, and the green grass in the fields. It sent a cold shock down your spine. He was there, your Eren, and the boy who was still within.
You threaded your fingers through his hair, for once admiring how handsome it made him look.
"I will."
The sun shone through dirty window panes. Clad in tight pants and a new shirt, you gazed down at your soldiers tempering around with the armbands and those who were being upheld.
You raised an eyebrow at Eren, who was looking outside the window with you. There were bruises on his neck that you had left. He was nice enough to not heal himself, to make you feel as though you had made a difference on his skin. He was too much of a serious man to be holding your hand like a young boy anymore. Instead he rested his fingers and enclosed them around your arm, still opting to keep his companion close.
"We're keeping the ones who consumed the wine in Shiganshina?" you asked. "That sounds like a recipe for disaster."
"Distractions," he muttered. "I'm going to speak to Falco's friend. Care to join?"
You huffed, almost with laughter. "She was shaking the table when she sat with you. If I presented my face to her, she'd claw me down."
"I'll keep that in mind," he replied, letting go of your arm and turning to walk from the room. "What else can we expect from the brat who killed Sasha?"
"It's been a month since she died," you said, looking over your shoulder, but he was already ahead. You reluctantly followed him out the room, where you had half-heartedly removed the evidence of your earlier actions.
You walked through the narrow hallways of the headquarters. As you passed by, men and women abruptly stopped in their tracks to salute. You would usually sneer at them, but you were in a better mood. You didn't even notice when you brushed past a dark-haired woman in a stolen green coat, heading in the direction of Eren.
You headed down to the cellar of prisoners, where you could hear a few voices speaking. The walls were lit warm yellow with a torch. You heard Connie:
"They've both turned into total pieces of shit. They lost sight of who they are to the point that they would hurt the people they cared about the most."
Jean replied, "If they were in their right minds, they wouldn't do that without reason. Could they have some sort of ulterior motive?"
You felt a presence behind you and turned to see Yelena and Onyankopon, accompanied by a man whose name you did not know. When she saw you, she smirked, and said, "Got a cig?"
"I quit smoking," you answered.
"Too bad," she said as she strode forward catching the attention of those in the cell. Inside you saw Sasha Braus' family, as well as Niccolo and those in your old squad. "Heroes of Shiganshina, it pains me that our reunion must be marred by these iron bars."
Connie began hurling insults almost immediately while you watched. You stayed silent as Jean began to accuse you of orchestrating multiple betrayals and attacks. Every last word was a bullet to the heart. But if they hated you, all the better.
You crossed your arms and said, "I didn't do it for selfish reasons. Do you really think I want to become the ruler of this world? I would rather leave that burden to Historia Reiss."
"Then why?" demanded Jean. "Why would you do something like that with Eren? Betray us? Kill innocent people?"
"And stand by as the world kills us?" you shot back. "The Survey Corps could only do so much. When you understand the true nature of this world, you'll know which is the better side of history to be on."
You saw the anger in their faces. The hurt, the sadness, and the shock. You skillfully kept your face cold, the feature now becoming a talent of yours. As much as you wished that you could explain yourself, you hardly forgot that Zeke's biggest supporter was standing right beside you.
Yelena smiled at you, as though she was proud of how far you've come. "Well said, Y/N."
Why did you come here? You almost asked yourself. Why would you pain yourself with the looks on their faces? They began to shout at you again; calling you things you had never imagined them to call you before.
Mikasa's eyes zoned in on your neck, where she saw bruises akin to those left in your youth. Jean followed her gaze, and upon meeting eyes with you, he scoffed.
"I guess betrayal must come easy when you're Eren Jaeger's bed mate."
You uncrossed your arms, unyielding. "You have no idea just how easy it really was."
"You got tricked, and you lost," the unnamed man beside Onyankopon sneered. "Niccolo, you're the real traitor, siding with devils. Falling in love for some devil-blooded, potato-grubbing whore—"
"Excuse me?" you demanded quietly as Niccolo began to yell through the bars. He did not listen. You did not like that he had interrupted you by insulting Sasha.
"Stupid me, thinking you would get a grip when the demon bitch died—"
Your jaw locked as a hand brought up a pistol from your weapon belt. "Who are you calling a demon bitch?"
You pulled down the trigger at the same time as Yelena. The man dropped to the ground, two bloody holes on either side of his head.
The children of the Braus family screamed, but you merely turned your nose in disgust as a red puddle began to dampen the ground. You lightly kicked the side of his head with the tip of your boot and watched as chunks of his brain scattered out.
"Ha, not the first time you got blood splattered because of me, huh?" asked Yelena. She turned to the prisoners in the cell. "I apologize for his rudeness. Eldians have no use for those who call you devils. Believe me, our true purpose isn't as hollow as revenge on Marley."
While she began to explain the euthanization plan, you left. You had just about enough of the look on their faces. You could not afford to become overwhelmed with emotion and guilt anymore. The tide was changing.
You opened the door to Gabi Braun's prison room to see none other than Pieck Finger, raising her hands as Eren stared her down. All three of them turned as you stood by the doorway, still holding the knob in cold shock. You blinked a few times to make sure she was real.
"Ah..." she said, momentarily at a loss. "Y/N."
"Pieck...?"
She abruptly lowered her hands to talk to Gabi, wide-eyed at the change of scene. Beside the girl you saw a corpse leaking blood all over the floor.
"—prove as many times as you want that you're a good Eldian," Pieck insistently said to Gabi. "We will never be free. We've got to win our human rights for ourselves."
"If you're really going to help us, show me proof," demanded Eren. His finger was lifted, a single paper-sized cut present on the skin that had been touching you not too long ago.
"I will show you where my allies are hiding in this town," Pieck swore. "We just have to go to the roof, and I can point them out."
The wound on Eren's finger steamed as it healed.
-
"WE CAN'T TRUST THIS WOMAN," you said as you watched multiple soldiers run around in a hurry, shouting orders and cuffing Pieck and Gabi together.
"I know," replied Eren. "But the feeling is mutual. She claims her motive lies in freeing her father from the internment zone. Do you believe that?"
You warily looked over your shoulder to see Pieck gazing at you, waiting to see what you might say.
"I might."
"I do hope you don't think I don't love my father, Y/N," she said.
"Oh, I don't doubt that at all," you replied. "But the problem is that I think you're very good at lying. I believe you don't trust Marley. But that doesn't stop you from being loyal to them."
She smiled at you. "Spoken like a true strategist. You're so good at being firm when you say things, that I'm surprised that you didn't really want to be with Colt. Are we friends again?"
If you could laugh, you would have. "Nice try."
Soldiers murmured as you and Eren led the way towards the roof. As you ascended a staircase, Pieck greeted the soldiers down below, her chains clinking like a bracelet.
"H-Hey," Gabi said shakily, "where's Falco?"
"Falco's here, too," answered Eren. "But it seems as though he drank Zeke's spinal fluid. It somehow got into his mouth."
Your eyes widened. How? You pondered over this as Pieck said something to Eren, about how he was the only person his older brother seemed to trust.
The wooden doors to the roof creaked open. Light slowly encased Eren's face with a brightness. Yelena stood at the top, staring down at Pieck with reluctance.
She and Gabi slowly walked towards the edge of the veranda. You stepped forward to follow, but Eren held an arm to stop you. "Stay behind me."
You didn't question as you followed Eren from behind, stopping a few feet away from him. Shiganshina District was so quiet, devoid of the life that usually painted its streets. Five years ago, a Titan attack had brutalized the city to shreds. Now, it was electrified with the calm before the storm again.
"Show us," said Eren. "Where are your enemies?"
"Enemies?"
Pieck gazed at the city before her. A beat passed, and then two. The world seemed to go still again, the same way it had before the thunderspear went off on you and Levi just this morning.
Then, Pieck turned and pointed a finger at you and Eren.
"Right there."
You felt yourself get forcefully handled in the stomach as Eren pushed you back with one hand. Just as he did so, the ground burst open beneath him, right where you had stood. You watched in horror as the Jaw Titan snapped his teeth, cutting off Eren's legs.
"Eren!" Yelena shouted as the Attack Titan transformed. "Get out of your Titan! The odds are against you if you fight here!"
"I didn't think they'd be so desperate," you murmured amid the rubble, "and so stupid. Only Reiner could be behind this."
Yelena grabbed your hand. "We need to hurry and get you insi—"
"No. Mobilize all the units. We're going to fight with Eren."
She retracted her hand as you turned to enter the building once more. She turned to the soldiers, "Bring this woman vertical maneuvering equipment!"
Enraged, you strode through the headquarters, ignoring the chaos that was ensuing around you as people began to arm themselves. "Just when this day was starting to get better... Marley had to make it even shittier."
Elise ran up to you. "Do we ever catch a break?" She began to lace you up with straps of leather that wrapped around your torso and thighs. Multiple people helped her, but you ignored them as they flurried around to armor you.
"What's—What's our plan?" she asked.
"I'm certain that Eren will use the War Hammer Titan's powers," you said. "Once he skewers the Armored and Jaws, that'll be our window for attack."
When you were set up with thunderspears, you immediately ran towards the terrace where a number of squads were already situated. Your squad was still composed of younger soldiers. It was a pain not having Daphne around. Nevertheless, you beckoned them with one hand as you jumped off the ledge of the roof and released your maneuvering gear.
You swung swiftly through the air, making sharp turns as the metal steel of your wires fired hook after hook to get closer towards Eren, who was fighting the Armored and Jaw Titans. Just as you had predicted, large spikes rose from the ground as per the War Hammer and pierced right through the enemy Titans.
"Just as Y/N said!" Elise shouted from behind you. "Quickly! Finish them!"
You raised your arms to throw a load of thunderspears down just as a loud shot went through the Attack Titan's head, barely missing you by a foot. You let out a string of curse words as you swerved and landed on the tiles of a rooftop. You looked up to see the Cart Titan on the wall, armed with a machine gun on her back.
Elise landed beside you, crouching down. "That woman. They were so fast—"
Suddenly, gunfire rang out. Elise slumped beside you, the wound of a bullet right in the middle of her forehead. You looked up to see a line of Marleyan soldiers on top of a roof, rifles out and shooting down your soldiers. From above, blimps were adding to the fire. Some Eldians were beginning to maneuver back to headquarters.
"I didn't give you the order to retreat!" you shouted at them. "The Titans are about to move. I won't let them take Eren!"
You left Elise's pale body on the roof as you swung down again, leaving the Titans but throwing the thunderspears onto the Marleyan soldiers. They exploded on the roofs, leaving clouds of red dust as you narrowly dodged every last bullet aimed at you.
"It's her! That's the woman who escaped!"
As you dealt with the soldiers, the Titans continued their merciless assault on the Attack Titan. Just as Reiner bent down to eat Eren, the Attack Titan let out a deafening roar and dislocated his jaw. A rock inexplicably hit the Armored Titan square in the face, and you looked up to see the Beast Titan on top of the wall, ready to join the fray.
"Good job holding out on your own, Eren," he spoke. "Now just leave the rest to your big brother."
The Beast Titan launched the rocks at the blimps above. They exploded and went up in flames. While the Cart Titan engaged in battle with the Jaegerists, the Attack Titan stood and began to walk towards the Wall where Zeke was at.
Y/N, come. It is time to shake the earth.
You released your hooks and lightly landed on the ground, escaping from the Marleyan soldiers above underneath the maze of houses in Shiganshina. You had to get to Zeke, and pray that Eren would make it in time, too. The ground and air shook with explosions from the battle while you ran south.
"Y/N!" someone grabbed your arm from behind. You immediately raised your gun to see none other than Colt Grice with his hands raised, Falco at his side. They were panting, out of breath.
You almost stopped, dumbstruck. "How did you get he—never mind. Let go of me or I'll shoot!"
"No — please don't! I don't want to kill you. Just — please — don't let Zeke scream! Falco — he ingested the spinal fluid — he's going to turn into a Titan —"
"Then run away!" you barked. Colt flinched. "Take Falco and leave!"
"No, please — I don't care anymore — if you're my friend or not. Just please — let my brother live. That's all I want."
His face was so desperate and pleading that you almost caved. But you yanked his arm away.
"You must run. That is the only advice I can give you."
"No!" he yelled, clutching your shirt. "No, we'll never make it in time. Zeke doesn't know that Falco drank the wine. If we can convince him..."
"Colt, run away!" you shouted, pushing him back. If you took another look at their pitiful faces, you would crack. "Do it now!"
"But the gates are sealed," he said hopelessly. "Falco is trapped here."
From down the street, you could hear more explosions and the sound of Titans brawling. You were running out of time to meet Zeke. You stared at Colt, his eyes urgent. You could not find the right words that would reach him. Perhaps there were none.
"Colt," you said. "I'm sorry. I don't want Falco to die. But there is nothing I can do."
No mitigation, no mercy. Colt let go of your shirt and grabbed Falco, and they took off running. Falco glanced over his shoulder to look at you, then they turned a corner, and they were gone.
You ran after them, taking the path that would bring you to Zeke. There he was, the Beast Titan at the base of the wall, heaving himself up and preparing to shout. Colt ran towards him, Falco in hand.
"Please wait!" Colt shouted desperately. "It's Falco! He drank some of your spinal fluid! Please, Mister Zeke, don't scream!"
All stilled as Colt brought Falco to Zeke.
"You know about me, don't you? I'm inheriting the Beast Titan so they won't send my family to heaven!"
"Brother, let me go!" screamed Falco, trying to yank himself away from Colt.
"I never knew what you thought, even before you betrayed us. But the Zeke I knew never dragged children into this. I won't tell you to take this just lying down. Please, just wait until Falco is outside the range of your scream!"
"Colt, run!" you shouted as you ran, but he was too far away. Down the street, you heard Gabi calling for Falco. The elder sibling continued to beg for mercy before Zeke.
"Slaughter each other all you want! Marleyans, Eldians, kill as many as you'd like! Just please, not my little brother!"
"Colt!" you shouted. "Get out! You're in the blast range!"
Zeke's ears perked up when he heard your voice, and he shook his resolve away. He saw you running down the street, not too close, but too far to pull Colt away. But you knew too, there was nothing to be done.
"You care for your little brother, as do I," Zeke said regretfully. "So, it is truly a shame."
More than anything, you hated seeing this. You hated seeing children involved in the messes you caused. And now, their loved ones would pay dearly for it. A tear of frustration and regret began to stream down your face. You knew that Colt was never going to yield.
The Beast Titan screamed. It made your hair stand on end as Falco's body began to glow. "I'm sorry," you whispered, but they were never going to hear you.
"It's okay, Falco." Tears ran down Colt's face as he embraced his panicking brother, who tried to push him away. "Your big brother will never leave your side."
You covered your eyes as light encompassed Shiganshina District. You opened them to see mindless Titans among the houses, a tall, blond Titan beside Zeke standing by a smoking corpse that was charred down to the bone. Colt and Falco.
You wiped the tears from your face. Zeke and Eren were so close. You broke into a sprint, discarding the maneuvering gear to lighten your weight. In the street ahead you saw Eren, climbing out of his Titan and running to Zeke as well. You were so close now.
Deadly shots fired in your direction. The Cart Titan was blasting at you from the top of Wall Maria while the Armored Titan attempted to near Eren. Members of the Survey Corps, including Mikasa and Armin, swooped in from the rooftops above to protect you from Pieck while Jean and Connie went to shield Eren.
Is this it?
Your legs were starting to burn with strain.
Is this the last time we will fight together?
You continued to run.
I'm sorry.
You didn't hear the loud shot that fired from your side. A searing pain came from your shoulder, and you felt a burst of blood splatter all over your face. Something hard and firm fell onto the ground a few feet away. You heard Mikasa and Armin screaming your name, but you didn't know what for.
You stumbled onto the ground just as you reached Zeke, your left hand touching his open palm.
When you opened your eyes, you almost fainted at the sight. Your entire torso was soaked in blood. You couldn't feel a single thing, or move a single muscle. An amputated hand was laying on the ground, its palm to the skies.
Gabi had blown a hole through your arm.
You screamed. She had meant to hit your head, but missed. When she saw you were still breathing beside Zeke, she furiously changed her aim to Eren. She pulled the trigger, and you watched in horror as it hit the nape. Eren's entire head was decapitated.
What was even stranger, was that as your lover's head was dislodged from the nape, something spine-like was attached to his body like strings to a marionette. In a moment of terror, you weakly held out your left palm beside Zeke's.
Eren's head fell into your palm, and the world disappeared. When your vision went black, you initially thought you were dead.
Then, the memories followed in shards.
-
Eren is leaning above you, and you are laying in a field full of grass. You feel shy. You have liked him for a while but never had the courage to do anything about your feelings.
He leans down and captures your lips in a kiss. The world is perfect, and you are wearing a dress, and it smells like flowers, and you are still living with the arrogance of a child who has never learned how to fear.
"What are we?"
You do not give him the answer he wants.
-
You and Sasha are laying on a bed, thinking about the future and laughing at the mistakes you have made in the past. Mikasa is admiring the bouquet of flowers Eren has gifted you, and they are excited for what the future has in store for your relationship.
"Eren is so sweet," sighs Sasha, "I didn't think he had it in him."
You smile as the taste of brioche bread lingers in your mouth, as sweet as his innocent ways of learning how to love a girl.
"Me neither."
-
Annie is kicking your shins, and the world flips as you are turned over by her wit. Your face is to the ground, planted in the dirt of your sparring session. You are wearing the brown jacket of the Cadet Corps, irritably waiting for the day you would graduate and be sent out to fight in the real world.
"You are barely even there," Annie sneers at you. "What happened to being hardworking?"
You huff as you stand, returning to fighting stance with your bunkmate.
"Again," you say. "I want to teach this to Eren."
-
You are running in the rain, and your classmates are surrounding you, and there is mud on your face as you jog through the cold and dank forest. You do not care about the mud, but you care about the fact that Mikasa is ahead of you in the race.
You slip on the ground. Your friends call out to you in worry. You stand. You continue to run.
You ask Mikasa how she manages to be strong. You want to be like her. Someday, you will be just as a great fighter as her and everybody else, because you want to keep the people inside the Walls safe.
-
You are walking on the beach with Eren. You are smiling and laughing, as you run from him and as his arms enclose around your waist to throw you over his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, sorry, sorry..." you apologize through your laughter, apologizing for splashing him in the face with the salty water.
"Oh, so now we're sorry," he chuckles before bringing his lips down, and then letting go and laughing as you fall into the waves, engulfed by the endless sea.
-
Levi is telling you that his love is unconditional. You are memory-less, unknowing, and nervous about living with the Survey Corps for the first time in a while.
You sit at a plushy seat by his fireplace, and as you stare into the fire, you feel at home. You close your eyes and feel peace.
-
There are tears in your eyes. The 57th Expedition Outside the Walls was a complete failure, and now your squad is dead. You have just fought the Female Titan, and you are humiliated and guilty for surviving when you had been the least useful member of your squad.
You carry the body of Petra Rall into the wagon. Her hair is auburn and her blood is still warm. You had merely watched as the Female Titan kicked her into the base of a tree. When you would get ahold of the Titan, she was going to pay for Petra's death.
-
You are burning. There are flames everywhere and you are being swallowed by every last bit of it. The smoke and soot is getting into your lungs and eyes and you think that you are going to die young.
But then you feel the ground turn soft, and you weakly open your eyes to see a little girl molding your body like clay.
-
"YMIR."
You opened your eyes to see that you were laying in a domain of endless heavenly bodies, the ground all sand and the light casting onto a large tree-like shape in the middle of it all. The sky was dark and full of stars, or rather, what looked like stars.
Standing in front of the beacon of light was Eren, his hair down and his eyes wide at what he was seeing before him. He watched you lay on the sand, curled as though asleep, but for some reason did not dare to step forward.
"Your memories," said someone, "they have come and gone in these past few years."
The sound of a woman's voice whispered in your ear. It was familiar. The voice you had dreamt of endless times, the woman who had told you plenty of stories in your sleep when you were younger.
"I have waited for you, the last descendant of nobility."
When you became fully conscious, you noticed that your arm was being molded like clay, shaped in the sand by skillful hands. You were not afraid of this strange domain. It all felt familiar to you. You had been here before, on another day when you had cheated death.
There was a young girl kneeling beside you, holding your head on her lap and kneading your arm together. It was as though she were a baker, kneading bread. She looked no older than thirteen, though her sunken face was older and hiding age. Like a ghost, escaping the clutches of eternity in the afterlife.
You did not have the time to register shock. "Founder Ymir."
To your surprise, the blonde girl leaned down and spoke, her voice no louder than a whisper in a windless world. It was the voice of a thousand years of wandering in the realm that commanded Eldians and Titans.
"The daughter of a pure line," she said softly. "You have returned to the Paths."
-
I am guessing that you are confused. It is manga spoilers from here on out. Unfortunately to understand this you must also understand how the Paths dimension works, and that is very difficult to explain. It is not often that the Paths dimension is shown in stories so I hope you will bear with me for doubling the comprehension difficulty. I hope you're well till we meet again!