Original story below, but you can find a revamped version in my collection "The Joke's on Me: and six other twisted stories of absurdity and regret", available on Amazon!
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Where I live the electricity cuts a lot and my parents say it’s the government’s fault. But the government doesn’t get in trouble the way I do when I play with the light switches and I don’t think it’s fair because they do it every day and everything cuts off not just the lights.
That’s why we have a lot of battery-powered stuff like flashlights and radios and my Gameboy which I can’t really play with when it’s dark because I can’t see the screen. In winter we use radiators and I’m glad those don’t need electricity because it gets so cold I can’t feel my nose and I think it would fall off like that video my friend Gabby showed me of a guy who had frostbite.
In summer it’s the opposite and I hate it because when the electricity cuts we can’t use the air conditioner and everyone looks like they jumped in a pool but really they’re just sweating. But I like summer at night because we all go out on the balcony with candles and some snacks and everyone in the buildings around us is doing the same thing. It’s kind of like we’re camping together and we can hear everyone talk but not very clearly so it just sounds like a lot of humming and laughing.
Without electricity we also can’t use the elevator which is annoying because we live on the tenth floor. But if mom wants to buy stuff like soap or onions we don’t need to use the elevator because Amo has a shop right under our building. Mom just ties a rope to a basket and clips a list and money to it and lowers it down from the balcony for Amo to fill it so we can pull it back up.
Amo’s shop has everything and sometimes the list is so long we have to send the basket down two or three times. He also has a plastic jar filled with little colorful bouncy balls but he doesn’t put them in the basket because they aren’t on mom’s list.
But when we do have electricity mom sends me down the elevator with the list and money and the basket and Amo always gives me a bouncy ball for free. I like Amo because he asks me which color I want instead of just picking one even if the color I want is all the way at the bottom. I also like him because he talks to me about politics and sports and the weather like he does with mom and dad.
The bouncy balls are small and shiny and they bounce very high. They also smell nice and I like how they squeak against my teeth when I bite them in half. The two halves bounce very high too but they don’t go straight and I used to like bouncing them all around the elevator on the way up home but I can’t do that anymore.
That’s because once a bouncy ball half fell through the crack between the elevator floor and the wall. I didn’t hear it land so I dropped the other half on purpose but I didn’t hear it land either. The next time I got a bouncy ball I dropped the whole thing down but I couldn’t tell if it landed because dad was with me and he said I shouldn’t do that because it would bother the elevator monster.
I told him there was no such thing as an elevator monster and he said it was a nice monster that just wanted peace and quiet. Dad says stuff sometimes and I can’t tell if he’s joking or not but I decided to stop bouncing things in the elevator just in case.
The elevator in our building is smaller and moves much slower than the one in the mall. My dad says it’s because it’s old. It doesn’t have shiny silver sliding doors like the ones at the mall either. It has green doors with a skinny glass window and if you’re inside you have to push them open or else the elevator will just stay there and go dark or it will go to another floor and take you with it.
The doors for each floor slide past us when the elevator moves and you can count them to know if you’re getting close. This is good because sometimes I can’t see the numbers lighting up because tall people are in the way. I also like holding my hand out and scraping my nails against the metal doors and the skinny windows and the rough wall parts in between and making a pattern with the different scraping sounds.
Sometimes, the electricity cuts when we’re in the elevator. It gets really dark and stuffy but all we have to do is knock on the metal parts of the door really loud and the doorman will come and open it. If we’re in between floors he’ll just open the door that shows the most for us and then we either climb down or climb up and sometimes he gives us a chair to help us.
Then our building got a generator. That means when the government cuts the electricity we have our own switch to turn it back on except our switch is weaker so I can still watch TV but we can’t use the washing machine and we can only open one air conditioner.
Also we don’t have to bang on the elevator doors anymore when we get stuck because the doorman will immediately turn the generator on unless he’s in the bathroom which means we might have to wait a few minutes.
I don’t really like the generator because we stopped using the rope and basket and we stopped camping on the balcony at night and also I don’t have an excuse not to do my chores anymore. Some chores don’t need electricity but I still wish I had an excuse not to do them because I don’t have any brothers or sisters and I’m the only one mom and dad can boss around and it’s a lot of work.
One of my chores is bringing in the laundry every Sunday from the small balcony in mom and dad’s bedroom. It’s a weird place to hang the laundry because it’s far from the washing machine which is in the kitchen. I think it’s because the big balcony is in the front of the building and it would look funny having our underwear waving over the street. The small balcony is in the back and the only ones who can see our underwear are the neighbors but it’s okay because we can see their underwear too.
I stopped hating bringing in the laundry when I met my friend Mick. I have two friends who live one floor under me. One is Nicole who lives in the apartment directly under mine and the other is Mick who lives across from her.
Nicole is my school friend so I know her since forever but I met Mick when I accidentally dropped a clothespin and I heard someone laugh and tell me to be careful. I looked over the railing one floor down and across and saw Mick except I didn’t know he was called Mick at the time.
He was leaning over the railing and smoking and his sunglasses were sitting on top of his shiny hair. My dad doesn’t do his hair like that because he’s bald. My dad also doesn’t smoke cigarettes because he likes his shisha.
When Mick stood straight to look up at me I could see his black T-shirt with weird scribbles on it. My dad doesn’t dress like that because he’s either in a suit or pajamas. I wanted to ask Mick what his shirt said but then I saw his white cat.
I love cats but mom said we couldn’t have one because they get fur everywhere. I asked Mick what the cat’s name was and he said her name was Cloud. I was thinking that’s a good name for a white cat but clouds can sometimes be grey and Cloud can also be a good name for a grey cat. Or Smoke. But smoke can be black too. I was thinking if I had a cat, I’ll call it Smoke.
Mick told me his name was Michael but his friends called him Mick. His English was almost as good as mine. He had an accent like mom and dad but he didn't make as many mistakes.
Mick asked me if I wanted to come down and play with Cloud and I said yes but when I asked mom she said no. I asked her why and she said Mick was new to the building and he was a stranger and I wasn’t supposed to go to stranger’s houses.
I told Mick what mom said and he laughed and said she was right and that we should get to know each other first. He asked me if I brought in the laundry every Sunday and I said yes so he promised he’d be out on his balcony on Sundays so we could talk. I told him okay because I wanted us to not be strangers anymore so mom would let me go down and play with Cloud.
The very next Sunday Mick and I talked about cats and The Lion King and football. I liked him, He was kind of like Amo but not really because Amo was like a nice uncle and Mick was like a cool big brother.
I told him I could come out to the balcony on other days too so we could talk more and stop being strangers. He liked that idea but he said I shouldn’t disturb my parents and I told him dad works late and mom is busy in the kitchen with her catering job so we could talk after school until it was time for me to do my homework.
Mick and I talked every day. I showed him my matchbox cars and my horse drawings and he showed me his guitar and his really cool action figures. When he wore the shirt with the scribbles again I asked him about it and he said it was a heavy metal band. He told me he had a bunch of records and asked if I would like to come over and listen and I said yes but mom again said no.
I told her I was talking to Mick all the time and we weren’t strangers anymore but instead of being happy she got really angry and said Mick was a grown-up with a midlife crisis and that he shouldn’t be talking to children. I didn’t know what that meant because Mick didn’t look like he was in a crisis.
I didn’t stop going to the small balcony because I liked seeing Cloud and talking to Mick about heavy metal and Power Rangers and video games. He asked me how I got to school and I told him mom dropped me off and picked me up. He also asked me if I went anywhere alone and I said mom sends me down to Amo's shop sometimes. He told me mom and dad must be proud of me and that he was proud of me too and I felt pretty good about that.
Every time we talked I made sure mom didn’t find out but sometimes the aunties on the other balconies would tell me to go do my homework or yell at Mick to leave me alone. Mick listened to them but he always winked at me before he went inside and I knew we were still friends and we would talk again the next day.
When Nicole came over to play one day I took her to the small balcony and I was happy that Mick was there with Cloud. I told him this was my friend Nicole who was also his neighbor and Mick smiled and asked her how she was doing. Nicole’s face got very white and she went back inside without even answering.
She didn’t want to play or talk to me anymore and her mom had to come and take her home. I didn’t know why she was rude to Mick and me but I think it was because she was jealous that Mick was friends with me more than her even though they lived on the same floor.
My friend Gabby wasn’t rude. When he came to visit I took him to the small balcony and Mick was there and he asked us if we wanted to come down and watch some movies that weren’t even in the cinemas yet. Gabby and I said yes and I told Gabby we had to sneak out except I think one of the aunties from the balconies tattled because mom caught us and sent Gabby home.
I was angry because mom never lets me do anything fun but then she told me if I promised to never talk to Mick again she’d get me a cat. I almost couldn’t believe my ears! I agreed and we did a pinky promise. After that I only went to the small balcony on Sundays for the laundry and I made sure not to look over the railing even if Mick called my name. I didn’t want to be rude because he was my friend but I really wanted a cat.
One day I was bouncing my bouncy ball in the lobby and waiting for the elevator to take me up home after I got some stuff for mom from Amo’s shop. The ball rolled near the building door and I wanted to go pick it up but Mick walked in the lobby and picked it up for me.
I was surprised and took a few steps back because I only ever looked down at Mick from the small balcony and it was weird to look up at him now. He was taller than my dad and smelled like my teacher’s cologne plus cigarettes. He was also chewing gum. My dad doesn’t chew gum because he says it’s bad for your teeth.
Mick was holding a bag on his shoulder and wearing his heavy metal band shirt and he smiled at me. I had kept my promise for three weeks and two days and I was scared that he’d try to talk to me and make me break my promise so I looked down at the basket in my hand.
Mick asked me how I was and I held the basket very tight but I didn’t say anything. He then said he missed me and asked why I was ignoring him and I felt bad. I still didn’t want to break my promise so I talked to the bag of sugar in my basket and said mom was going to get me a cat if I didn’t speak to Mick.
Mick laughed and said we could always talk as long as we didn’t get caught and that I was a smart kid and he was sure I could find a way to do that. I didn’t really think about it that way before and I stopped holding the basket so tight and looked up at him and smiled. I told him maybe we could also leave each other secret notes in the lobby or in the elevator like spies do and he gave me back my bouncy ball and said that was a great idea.
The elevator came and Mick held the door open for me but before I got in I looked down at the crack and asked him if he knew about the nice elevator monster that didn’t like people dropping things down on it. He looked surprised and I was afraid he was going to think I was stupid so I said it was just a silly story dad told me.
Mick took out a cigarette from his back pocket and held it over the crack and asked me if he should let it go. I felt nervous and I wanted to say no but Mick winked at me and I laughed a bit and said yes and that there was no such thing as monsters. He dropped the cigarette through the crack and told me I was very mature for my age and I forgot all about the monster and told him how I also helped my parents with all the chores at home.
We got in the elevator and he pressed nine and I pressed ten and put the basket on the floor between us because it was getting pretty heavy. I was still talking about my chores but between floors five and six the electricity cut and I gasped because I was surprised but not scared because I knew the doorman was going to open the generator in a few seconds.
I didn’t think Mick knew that though because he put his hand on my shoulder and told me not to worry. I told him I wasn’t worried but he kept his hand on my shoulder and squeezed.
I was a little annoyed but I remembered when grandma died and mom hugged me and told me not to be sad but I wasn’t sad because I didn’t really know grandma. But mom was crying a lot and I think she was pretending I was the sad one so she didn’t feel embarrassed for crying.
I didn’t want to embarrass Mick for being scared because he was my friend so I let him keep his hand on my shoulder and told him the doorman was going to open the generator soon. Mick said I was very brave and I smiled but I stopped smiling when he started rubbing his thumb against my neck. I didn’t really like that but I was thinking it made him less scared so I didn’t say anything.
The doorman was taking too long to open the generator and I was thinking it was because he was in the bathroom. I was happy Mick was here with me but his cologne was starting to fill up the elevator and I wondered if people can suffocate from smelling too much cologne.
Mick asked me if I wanted to play a game so I asked him which one and he said he was going to hold my hand and make me touch something and I had to guess what it was. I said okay because it was a perfect game to play in the dark and I wanted to show him I was good at guessing things.
He touched my arm all the way down until he found my wrist and he lifted it up. I opened my hand wide and he put something in it and I immediately knew they were his keys and I told him it was too easy because I could hear them jingling.
He laughed and said I wouldn’t be able to guess the next one but I told him I bet I could and opened my hand wide. He gave me his sunglasses and I told him right away I knew what they were and that he should give me something harder.
He laughed again but this time it sounded like a weird cough. He said the next one would be hard and I heard the sound of a zipper and I wondered if Mick was opening his bag and if Cloud was in there.
My cousin carries her dog in a bag because it’s too small and walks too slow. Cats are small too and they don’t like leashes so I was almost certain Mick had Cloud in his bag. I got excited and stretched my fingers wide open so that I was ready to pet her soft fluffy fur.
But I didn’t get a chance to feel anything because Mick coughed and let go of me. I got worried and asked him if he was okay but he started making gasping noises and I wondered if he was getting hysteria like what happened to the auntie on the fifth floor when she got stuck in the elevator.
I tried to calm him down but then I heard noises like choking and bumping against the wall and the elevator began to shake. I got a horrible prickly feeling under my skin and my insides got twisty because I was sure Mick was being attacked by the elevator monster because he dropped the cigarette on it.
I screamed for help and banged on the metal door and when I couldn’t hear Mick move or cough anymore I got even more scared because I knew the elevator monster was going to come after me. I think I started to get hysteria because I was shaking and breathing so fast I couldn’t even scream anymore and I got dizzy and I couldn’t remember anything else until I felt mom carrying me.
She took me home and hugged me very tight like the time she thought she lost me in the supermarket and I hugged her back and cried. I asked her if Mick and Cloud were okay and she said Cloud was probably in Mick’s apartment but Mick was on his way to the hospital. I felt so bad I couldn’t stop crying and I made mom’s shirt wet and slimy but she didn’t care and hugged me tighter.
I told her it was all my fault because I told Mick about the elevator monster and he dropped a cigarette down and bothered it and it attacked him. Mom didn’t say anything but she rocked me on her lap and petted my hair and waited for me to stop crying.
When I stopped she told me I didn’t do anything wrong and then she made her voice soft and asked me if Mick touched me or made me touch anything. I said yes and her arms got very stiff around me and she asked me to tell her exactly what happened.
I told her Mick got scared and squeezed my shoulder when the electricity cut and that we played a touching game and I touched his keys and his sunglasses but we couldn’t keep playing because the elevator monster got him.
Mom started crying and thanking God but I wasn’t sure why she was thanking Him so I asked if someone caught the elevator monster. She kissed the top of my head and said yes and that the monster was gone and it couldn’t hurt anyone again. I was happy about that because the monster was scary and I was ready to never take the elevator ever again even if I had to climb ten floors in the middle of summer.
I asked if Mick was going to be okay and mom didn’t answer right away but then she said he wouldn’t be coming back because he had a heart attack and needed to rest somewhere quiet with no visitors.
I was worried about Cloud and asked if we could keep her but mom says Mick’s family would probably want her. I was going to miss Mick but I was glad he was okay and resting and that Cloud wasn’t going to be all alone in his apartment.
At night, dad came home and lifted me up in the air and I scream-laughed because the last time he lifted me like that I was very little. He put me down and told me there was something for me in the kitchen so I went there and found a small box on the floor and inside it I heard meows. I almost couldn’t believe my ears! I looked up at mom and she smiled and said because I was very brave I got to have my very own cat.
I was so excited I forgot all about the elevator monster and missing Mick and Cloud. I opened the box and saw a very small kitten with green eyes and black and white and grey stripes. I picked it up carefully and it licked my fingers and I got shivers because its tongue was very rough. It was moving a lot which was a little bit annoying so I put it on my shoulder and its nails got stuck in my shirt and poked me and its whiskers tickled my neck. It also smelled funny.
Dad said it was a boy cat and that I should give him a name but I was thinking maybe I didn't really like cats after all.
The End
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(Read on for a Behind the Scenes)