Coming Up For Air | ✓

By -linnwrites

108K 4.8K 1.9K

WATTYS 2023 & 2022 SHORTLIST | Stella Donahue is in dire need of a fresh start. A break. Away from the colle... More

coming up for air
epigraph + soundtrack
character aesthetics
1 | inhale
2 | new dogs, old friends
3 | a summer of solitude
4 | just add water
5 | (sore) winners and losers
6 | of fries and men
7 | sister, sister on the call
8 | a suntastic time
9 | treading water
10 | a faultless summer's day
11 | the splashing cove
12 | my best friend team-wrecker
13 | something a-boat you
14 | the wedding reception
15 | undertow
16 | coming up for air
17 | sweater weather
18 | staying afloat
19 | i just called to say-
20 | white horse
21 | what do you want?
22 | we
24 | trial de novo
25 | verdict
26 | stuck like glue
27 | two a.m.
28 | exhale
epilogue
bonus chapter | at thirty, stella donahue's only getting started
author's note + acknowledgments

23 | world's okay-est sister

2.2K 130 40
By -linnwrites

A small smile curls on Stella's lips as she stretches her arms overhead, letting her gaze flicker over Jake's room.

Outside the window, birds chatter away—happily enjoying their day. Rays of sun slip through the blinds, casting a striped pattern over the beige carpet and the gray sheets; a soft, light glow wraps around the room.

Rolling onto her side, Stella pops her chin in her hand and beams at Jake. "I'm in your bed."

The corners of his mouth twitch up, having her cheeks warm. "You've slept in here before."

"Yeah when we were kids and built a blanket fort—not the same thing,"

A beat of silence stretches between them and Stella narrows her eyes as Jake's smile grows wider.

"You want to build a blanket fort, don't you?"

Jake rolls his lips together, a glimmer to his eyes. "It could be fun."

Stella shakes her head in faint amusement, then she stills—her brows drawing together as she listens to their surroundings. "What was that?"

Mouth in an upward tilt, Jake reaches up to tuck a curl of her tangled hair behind her ear. "What was what?"

"I swear I heard a car-door slam shut."

"Probably a neighbor."

"It was closer than–"

The sound of a doorbell cuts through her words, echoing loudly against the walls of the house.

Raising her brows, Stella says, "Told you."

A tired expression passes over Jake's features. "If that's Jess–"

"If it is, you better be nice," Shooting Jake a look, Stella waves her hand in a small shooing-motion. "Off you go."

He lets out a chortled breath. "Why am I the one who has to get it?"

Stella falls back into the mattress, stretching her arms far and wide with a smile. "Because I am just so comfortable right here."

Jake shakes his head, amusement dancing over his lips as he climbs out of bed. "I'll be back,"

Throwing a glance over his shoulder, he pulls at the hem of his rumpled t-shirt. "Stay there; we have a fort to build."

Laughing, Stella shoos him away with another wave of her hand, eyes fluttering shut as she sinks into the pillows with a small yawn. She listens with half-an-ear to Jake's quick footsteps on the stairs as she drifts into a comfortable rest. The doorbell rings through the house again. And soon, the familiar—light-hearted—notes of Faye's voice blends with Jake's slightly bewildered tone.

Wait.

Faye?

Eyes wide open, Stella remains still—listening hard as she flickers her gaze across the white ceiling.

Surely Faye isn't here, in the lake house. Her sister's busy at work back home, she said so herself. Stella must've fallen asleep; she must've been dreaming.

Jake's voice carries through the house, far too loud—a warning disguised in joyous surprise—as he calls out a "God, what's in this bag Faye?"

Shook awake, Stella scrambles out of bed and runs her fingers through her hair in an attempt to comb it into place as she hears her sister ask, "Where's Stella?"

"Upstairs,"

Stella freezes, and Jake seems to realize a moment too late he's said the wrong thing.

"Actually, I think she's still asleep!"

"Have you met my sister?" Faye's amused tone drifts through the floors. "She thinks eight in the morning counts for sleeping in."

Stella swears under her breath as she hears footsteps on the stairs, flickering her gaze out the door. If she's quick she may make it into her bedroom unnoticed. It's worth a shot.

Here goes nothing.

She's barely made it out as her sister calls out, "There you are!"

Stumbling over her own feet, Stella whirls around just as Faye—drowning in a big, striped navy sweater—reaches the landing of the staircase.

Stella lets out a chortled breath, holding back the urge to squeeze her eyes shut. She forces her lips into what she hopes in a genuine grin, meeting sister halfway. "Faye?! What are you doing here?!"

Faye waves her hand dismissively. "I'll fill you in on that in a second; I just need to hug you first," A beam overtakes her face as she stretches her arms out wide. "No, don't give me that look—I haven't seen you in forever, you'll survive one hug."

With a small smile, Stella relaxes into her sister's embrace. Her throat tightens around a small lump as Faye's familiar floral scent tickles her nose, and she lets out a long, overdue exhale.

Her sister seems smaller than before. She's always been the slender one of the two but there's a hint of exhaustion to her frame now. And, as Stella steps back, she realizes her sister looks far from the pulled together version of herself that she usually is; brown hairs escape the bun at the back of her head—falling haphazardly, dark patches line the skin under her eyes and her mouth seems to rest in a pinched, tense state, even as she smiles.

Stella's brows etch together in concern but before she has the chance to as how her sister's doing, Faye's eyes flicker to something past her shoulder.

"Did you just come out of Jake's bedroom?"

Oh. Right. That. Well if this isn't one big pile of shit at the bottom of the kiddy pool.

"What?" Feigning confusion, Stella rests her palm against the wall—almost falling over in the process as she leans her weight against it. She swallows as she meets Faye's gaze. "Oh yeah. I– I did. I was... watering the plants."

There's a small twitch to the corners of her sister's lips as she asks, "In Jake's room?"

"Uh-huh," Stella tangles her legs together, only realizing a second too late it probably looks as if she really needs to pee.

Now that she thinks of it, she kind of does have to pee.

Her gaze drifts past Faye's shoulder to where Jake's stood by the landing of the staircase, his mouth caught in a smile slowly beginning to remind her of a smirk.

"He's pretty bad at keeping track of it himself."

Technically, it's not a lie. Jake tends to forget about catering to the various plants and flowerbeds in and around the house. It doesn't matter Stella's even worse.

"Do you always water the plants after just having woken up or...?" Faye trails off, gesturing vaguely to Stella's attire.

"Oh. No, these are– they aren't pajamas. They're my new shorts; I got them in town. In a new shop. On Daisy Street."

"Daisy Avenue?"

Stella shifts on her feet, the corners of her lips tugging back once. "Wasn't that what I said?"

Faye scrutinizes Stella's distressed t-shirt, eyes narrowing as they flicker over the faded fabric. "Is that toothpaste?"

Stella's gaze falls to the front of her shirt. "Oh," She says again, smile turning sheepish. "Yeah."

Faint amusement dances over Faye's lips—her shoulders slightly pulled back, a self-satisfied curve to her mouth, as if she's in on a joke no one else knows of. "Where's the can?"

"The what?"

"The watering can? You know, for brining the water to the plants?"

"The watering can..." Stella trails off, her eyes flickering to Jake in a weak moment of panic.

Letting out a small breath of disbelief, Faye slowly shakes her head to herself as she looks between the other two—gaze lingering on Jake, and only now, Stella realizes she's not the only one who looks as she just rolled out of bed. "This has got to be a joke."

Stella presses her lips together. "Faye."

Faye, however, has spun her attention around entirely on Jake. "My sister?"

Lifting his hands before him, Jake takes a step back. "Okay, wait. I think you should hear me," He pauses, eyes flickering momentarily to Stella as he takes another step back. "—us, out."

"Guys," Stella shifts on her feet. "Come on."

Faye only spares her sister a glance before zeroing in on Jake again, a small curl to her lips as she—solemnly—says, "I'm going to kill you now."

━ ♡♡♡ ━

"Hi Stellie-tubbies,"

Stella flickers her gaze sideways as Faye sinks into a seat next to her on the edge of the dock, only sparing her a glance before she resumes to stare out at the lake. The sun glitters against the dark, still surface of the water. Somewhere down the road, laughter spills into the air and drifts their way.

Clasping her hands together, coiled tightly in her lap, Faye sighs. "I know you're mad but I need to talk to you about–"

"You chased him around the house Faye."

"I know."

"And then you threw not one, not two, but three spatulas at him,"

Stella whips her head in Faye's direction as she notices the way she presses her lips together—as if to quell a laugh. "It's not funny!"

"I mean," Faye lets her smile spring free, cheeks rounding as she casts her gaze to the sky. "It's a little bit funny."

"I actually thought you'd be happy for me."

Faye meets her gaze, raising her brows. "Is that why you lied?"

Stella rolls her eyes, stubbornly staring out at the lake again. "Not everything is about you."

"Stella–"

With the help of her palms, Stella pushes off the dock and drops into the water—clothes and all.

"Really Stella?!" Faye calls after her as she swims away, eyes on the opposite side of the wide expanse of lake. "I will follow you."

"Good luck keeping up."

To Stella's surprise, Faye gets to her feet; a creatively strung together sentence of curse words fall off her tongue as she strips out of her clothes, letting them fall into a pile, and jumps into the water with a violent splash.

Coming up to the surface with a gasp, her arms flail in her less than graceful strokes. "This is a 200-dollar bra!"

Stella kicks harder with her legs, keeping up a faster pace than her sister despite the extra weight of her soaked through denims. "Why would anyone need a 200-dollar bra?!"

"You," Faye pants, palm coming down against the surface with a splash. "Need to stop being such a baby!"

Stella whirls around, treading water as her voice carries far and wide. "I need to stop being such a baby?!"

"Would you just listen to me?"

"No! Unless you haven't noticed Faye, I'm not in the mood to talk so just leave me al–"

"It's about mom."

Stella stills. Silence falls upon them, pulled taut as it widens—seeming to stretch all around, even the birds have quieted down in their song. Stella moves her arms in slow circles across the surface, fully looking at Faye—and her exhausted expression—now.

"What about mom?"

━ ♡♡♡ ━

Mouth in an upward tilt, Jake watches them as they step through the sliding doors and into the kitchen. Amusement flickers over his features as his gaze moves from Stella's damp attire to Faye's dripping wet hair.

"Everything okay?"

Stella shakes her head in a silent no, holding up her hand to stop him as his brows etch together in concern, already taking a step toward her. Mouthing "Wait," she shoots a pointed look Faye's way. "You wanted to say something?"

"What? Oh, right," Faye flickers her gaze to Jake, shifting on her feet as she clears her throat. "I'm sorry about the spatulas. I shouldn't have done that."

Jake shrugs, lips twitching up. "If I were you I probably would've too."

Stella opens her mouth, about to say he shouldn't have to make excuses for Faye's childish behavior but something—some kind of understanding she's not part of—passes between the other two and she presses her lips together, begrudgingly accepting she'll have to trust them to work this out on their own.

Walking over to Stella, Jake briefly brushes his fingers over her elbow. "So, what's going on?"

Stella gathers herself, letting out a short, rough exhale. "Apparently we have about two days to find a way to make sure mom doesn't lose everything she's ever worked for—and more."

At Jake's obvious confusion, Faye clarifies, "That's when they go to court."

"Since when?"

"Some weeks ago," Stella runs a hand through her lake-tousled hair. "Not that anyone bothered to tell me."

"Stella, I'm sorry—okay? I am. But right now, could we just change into something dry and get to work?"

Defeat clouds Stella's mind. "I'm not even sure what we can do that hasn't already been done."

"Well," Faye crosses the room, crouching down by the two large suitcases she's brought with her, zipping the first one open. "We can at least try. We have to find something, anything, in here pointing to mom not knowing what Sanchez and Miller did."

Stella doesn't bother to comment on Faye having switched back to using the two men's surnames, that same resentment that lingers in her sister's tone filling her chest. Instead, she stares at the hundreds, and hundreds, of documents taking up the suitcase. "Are you allowed to bring those here?"

"I don't know," Faye shrugs. "Probably not. I have a few boxes in the car as well."

"... Faye," Stella hesitates. "Haven't those already been gone over?"

"Yes. But maybe we missed something, maybe the associates weren't thorough enough," Faye lets out a deep sigh. "I'm just doing what I can."

Stella opens her mouth but closes it again, at a loss for words. Then, she nods. "Okay, let's do it."

She flickers her gaze to Jake who flashes her a small smile. "I'll get the coffee going, we'll need it."

"Uh. No," Faye straightens up, dusting her palms against her cut-offs. "I came here for Stella's help."

"Faye," Stella both sighs and pleads simultaneously. "Don't be stupid."

Faye's gaze narrows, lips parted on a short breath. "You're stupid."

"You're stupider."

"Well, you're the stupidest."

Faye lets out an exasperated, yet amused, sigh-sounding breath. "You're so damn stubborn."

Jake shoots Faye a look, slanting his head. "I can help."

"He knows these things better than I do," Stella reminds her sister. "We need him."

"Fine," Faye throws her hands up in defeat, beginning to climb the stairs, stomping her feet. "I'll be back," Then, she pauses, palm on the banister. "Oh, and Stella?"

"Yeah?"

"Just don't... don't get your hopes up, okay? This is, most likely, a dead-end."

"I know," Stella swallows, grimacing against the faint burn at the back of her throat. "But it's like you said: we've got to try, right?"

"Yeah, we do."

━ ♡♡♡ ━

For the next few, long hours they make their way through piles, and piles, of documents.

Highlighter-and red pens perched between their fingers or lips, they move from the floor to the couch, from the couch to the kitchen table, from the table back to the floor. Crosslegged, leant against cupboards or propped up on their elbows—they shift in their seats.

They walk in circles, reading aloud or mumbling under their breaths. Flipping pages. Pulling their hands through their hairs repetitively. Rubbing their jaws.

One after one, sheets of A4-papers are tossed aside with exasperated sighs.

They refill their coffee cups until their hands are shaking from the jitters. They stuff themselves full of chips, their fingers leaving greasy prints all over each their piles of documents, and tear into a lone package of KitKat bars. Sometime, as night falls, Jake makes them dinner.

Now, sat staring at the words beginning to melt into a soup of letters before her eyes, Stella rests her chin in her hand. Suppressing a small yawn, she flickers her gaze from the pile of useless documents to Jake where he's sat by the kitchen table, a faint notch between his brows as he massages his temples—eyes never leaving the stack of papers before him.

A small smile curls on her lips as she watches him, and out of the corner of her eye she notices Faye lifting her gaze as well—something reminiscent of concern to her expression, but Stella doesn't miss the faint smile pulling on her lips as well.

She's not sure exactly how much time has passed the next time she swivels her eyes skyward, gazing up at the ceiling. Defeat hangs in the air, and sat in a sea of candy-and popsicle wrappers, Stella lets out a long exhale, on the brink of throwing in the towel just as the loud screeching noise of Jake's chair being pushed back startles her.

"I've got something," Fingers held tight around a stack of papers, Jake crosses the room and leans over Faye's shoulder where she's balled up on the couch, pointing with his pen. "It's not much. And 'vague' doesn't even begin to cover it but..."

Faye's lips part with a puff of air, tipping her head back to look at him. "But it could work."

Straightening up, she clutches the documents in her hands—hard, as if afraid they're going to vanish from her sight at any second. The exhaustion etched into her features fade ever so slightly, making room for wary relief.

She grabs her pen and circles something, scribbling a few words into the margin. "With the other stuff we have, this could work."

Stella searches for her sister's gaze, leaning back against the coffee table. "Really?"

"Maybe," Faye pushes to her feet, arms twisting tight around Jake's neck in a hug and as she speaks her voice comes out smaller—throat tight, as if she's on the brink of tears. "Thank you. God I could kiss you right now."

Jake's lips twitch up. "Not sure how Stells would feel about that."

Stella presses her lips together to quell a small laugh as Faye lets out an exasperated sigh-sounding exhale, shoving Jake lightly in the chest.

She flickers her eyes between the two of them before nodding to the document, already grabbing her phone from the coffee table. "I'm going to send this to mom's lawyer."

Watching her go, Stella—a question popping into her mind—calls, "How didn't any of the associates catch this?"

Faye pauses. "I don't know—but the important thing is we did."

As she disappears up the stairs, Stella gets to her feet and drops into the couch. Rubbing the heels of her palms over her eyes, she lets her head tip back. Beneath her, the cushion shifts as Jake sinks down into a seat next to her.

Forcing an exhale through her still tight chest, Stella extends her legs out long and drapes them over his. "Do you think it'll work?"

"I'm not sure," Jake passes a hand over his face, looking exhausted. "Maybe."

"I would ask you to fill me in on exactly what you found but then I might actually fall asleep right here and now, and we can't have that."

The pads of Jake's fingertips trace a light pattern over her knee, his lips slipping into a faint smile. "Maybe we should deal with the rest tomorrow?"

Letting her gaze follow his, Stella watches the still unread piles of documents and nods. "Yeah," She catches his eye, mouth curved in a small smile as the tightness in her chest begins to lighten. "Thank you."

"Of course."

"Sorry we never got a chance to build that blanket fort."

Jake lets out a chortled breath. "Another day."

Stella nods, speaking through a small yawn. "Another day."

━ ♡♡♡ ━

Faye moves aside as Stella climbs into bed, making sure there's enough duvet for the both of them.

Always having been one for proximity, Faye shuffles closer and Stella doesn't move away; she knows Faye needs her right now, knows they need each other. Even if their day was off to a rocky start, it's nice to have Faye here. It's oddly comforting to be blanketed by her sister's familiar scent as it fills their space, that same sense of comfort as when she was younger and would sometimes smell her mothers' shirts.

Tucking her hands under her cheek, Faye's voice is low as it bounces against the walls of the dimly lit room. "I can't believe you're sleeping with Jake."

"I'm not sleeping with Jake!" Stella hisses through a chortled breath. Then, pausing—she rolls her lips together. "Yet."

 Faye scrunches her nose up but then she softens with a small laugh, having Stella laugh as well.

Finding her hand under the covers, Faye asks, "You really like him, huh?"

"Yeah," Stella lets out a shaky breath. "I do. I didn't mean to but... but once I–... I just couldn't get him out of my head."

"I'm sorry for today."

"It's fine."

"I might have gone about it the wrong way, but you know, I'm just trying to look out for you."

"I know," Stella draws a line in the sheet, lips twisting up once. "But that's not your job. It's mine."

"Well, I can try to tone it down a notch, but I'll never stop looking out for you—I can't; you're my favorite person in this universe and whatever else is out there. And I am sorry. I'll try to be better to Jake–"

"Who's your oldest friend," Stella reminds her. "You should make sure not to ruin that."

"Maybe he shouldn't have made a move on my baby sister," Seeing the purse of Stella's lips, Faye relents. "I'll be better."

Satisfied, Stella lets her heavy eyelids fall close. "Good."

━ ♡♡♡ ━

As Jake and Stella step through the door, their laughter trailing behind them—slipping into the air—Faye's already in the kitchen, buttering a piece of toast.

Stella regards her sister. "Is that my sweater?"

Faye shrugs, sipping coffee out of the cup Jake and Stella got her earlier this summer. "I thought it looked cute."

"It does," Gracefully taking the cup of coffee Jake hands her, Stella presses a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you."

Pushing past them, Faye fake gags and bites into her piece of toast—a trail of crumbs falling to the floor as she walks out to the patio.

Stella rolls her eyes, shooting Jake a tired look before excusing herself. She gestures the same way her sister just left. "I'll just–"

Slipping outside, she sidles up next to Faye and lets her gaze linger on the garden where it lies peacefully underneath a layer of early morning fog.

Faye lets out a wistful sigh. "I hadn't realized how much I miss this place."

"Maybe you can come back next year?"

"Yeah, I hope so."

Stella weighs back on her feet, eyes following the movements of a lone bird picking its way about the lawn. "I thought we decided you'd try."

Momentarily confused, Faye shoots her a sideways glance. Then, realization crosses her features. "I know, I know," She sighs. "It's just weird, seeing you two all...,"

She trails off, sweeping her hand through the air in a vague gesture.

"Well, we have at last six hours in a car ahead of us, so could we agree to at least try to be civil?"

Faye pauses, lips pressed against the rim of her cup. "You're coming too?"

Turning to look at her sister, Stella's lips twitch faintly. "Of course we are."

"Does he have to come?" Faye turns apologetic as soon as the words leave her tongue and she waves her hand dismissively as she spins back around on her heel. "We're leaving in ten."


. . . 

hi friends! 

I've been sat inside all day so my mind is kind of spinning (going to go for a walk now) but I just wanted to say hi, and say I hope you're doing okay <3 How are you? Are you doing okay?

see you soon, 

yours, linn

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