Aliyah
A week and a half later
I haven't spoken to him in a week and I don't plan to. He's so fucking ugh. I can't stand him sometimes.
He's just so uptight and confusing. How can you act like my nigga and then act like some bitch. Russians man. There confusing.
It's because I'm black. I went through his insta and all that. It's Aryan girls all over. I'm just some random blackie.
I mean I can see why he likes them though. There so perfect. With their blonde hair and blue eyes, perfect white porcelain skin. The doll like features.
Honestly what does he want with me, when he clearly has a type. Why am I even thinking about this.
Fucks sake. I need smoke a fat blunt and call it a day man. I have been working all week to occupy myself and now I'm just exhausted.
I feel like a puddle of goo. I need a massage so bad. I need to get layed as well. I need so much shit right now.
I go to my room and look for my little container to see if I had any buds left. It was empty. Couldn't life get any worse?
I went to go look for my phone to call Sasha. I found it and dialed for Sasha. The phone rings and eventually she picks up.
"Sashyyy, I ran out of weed. I beg send me that guy's number," I whined.
"You need more weed again Aliyah? Didn't you pick up like three days ago?" Alexei sighs.
"Alexei? Why do you have Sasha's phone and yes I did, but I finished it," I answered.
"You're both do the same thing, doing shit to avoid your problems. Have you checked up on Kazimir?"
"I don't need to, he a big man. He's ten years older than me, so I don't think I really need to."
""You should, he's being different and everyone can tell. The whole house can, you fucked him over," Alexei says.
"I fucked him over? Is that what he told you, because it's the opposite way around," I yelled, slightly.
"I don't the know the story, but something happened. Just check on him, he's not listening to me or anyone else. I'm going to send you an address and some more details," Alexei informs.
"It's pointless," I said.
"Just in case you still want to go and I will have someone bring you good amount, so you can stop calling," he says.
"Thanks Alexei."
"Yeah, you're welcome monkey."
"Fucking racist, I dare you to call Sasha that sand watch her beat your ass up," I laugh.
"I will think about it, bye."
"Bye cracker."
I hung up the phone and sighed. This going to really stress me the fuck out. A message pops up and it's and address with a time on it.
What even is this? Does he have some secret house that he goes to or what? Whatever I'm not going.
***
I look up at the high rise building. It's penthouses. He does have a secret home to go to besides that big ass mansion.
I enter and there security guards in every corner, so this was luxurious. Of course it is, this is Kazimir I'm talking about.
I walked to the elevator, but got stopped by a security guard.
"Ma'am you can't enter without permission and proof of Identification," he says.
"Oh, um alright."
I walk towards the front desk and smiled at the Receptionist.
"Hi, I'm looking for a tall dark haired man," I said.
"There's a lot of people like that here," she says.
"True, he's Russian and acts like he's superior. He's stays in room 108."
"Oh... that penthouse belongs to Miss, Chloe Davenport," she hesitates.
Alexei sent me to some girls penthouse. Kazimir is fucking some other woman and Alexei wants me to stop it for what reason I don't know.
"I see, thank you. If I have the security code, I can still get into the apartment right?"
"You can, but you have to be buzzed in or have card key to get into the elevator," she explains.
"Look, I know it's illegal, but can you please just buzz me up there without notifying miss whatever. My fiancé is currently upstairs in that apartment fucking another woman, when we are supposed to get married in three weeks."
"I can't, I'm really sorry," she apologizes.
"What if I was to pay you to let me in there?"
"I'm sorry, but I can't. If another person who does live in this building and are willing to let you in then, you can get up there."
"Thank you for all the help."
I left the building and waited like a dumbass. Am I really doing this right now. Speak of hell, this woman was about to walk in, but I stopped her.
"Excuse me, do you live in this building?"
"Should I answer that question or am I going have something bad happen to me?" She says.
"No, I just really need to get into the building."
"Oh, lemme guess cheater? Sure, I will can you into the elevator, but getting to the floor that the person lives on it going to be difficult."
"That's fine, I can figure it out on my own. I just need to get to 108."
***
I put in the key code and said bye to the woman. The elevator door opened and I could hear small noises.
I walked down the hallway and I opened the door. Kazimir was laying in bed with three other girls in the bed.
Ring a ding, there all fucking his type. They look at me and started to shriek.
"Aliyah, how did you possibly get in here?"
"I walked through the front door obviously, it seems you are doing completely fine and don't need me."
"Why would you think I needed you?"
"Who the fuck is this bitch and how did she get in," one yells.
"I'm going now and keep your little lips shut," I said.
"You're not going to join in on the fun?" He ask.
"Fun? I rather be dead than have sex with you and your bimbos," I scoffed.
"How did you find me here?"
"Does that really matter you seem to be satisfied with your pets."
He moves out the bed and I look away as he puts some clothes on. I walk out of the room and that's only when I realized it smelled strong of sex.
I heard a door close and Kazimir emerges. He was only in his boxers and had no shame. He got a bottle of whiskey and decided to get two cups.
He puts it on the counter and pours some into both of the cups. I watched him. His muscles flexing and his tattoos.
It's the tattoos, it has to be the tattoos. He pushes the cup towards me.
"I'm good," I said.
"You don't want to drink? You love to drown yourself in substances and now I'm offering one your declining?"
"I drove myself here, I want to be sober on the way back," I stated.
He tipped the cup to his lips and drank the alcohol. He watched me with amusement. What am I even doing here.
"So, what did happen with Tyrone?"
"I killed him," he answered, bluntly.
"What? Why would you do that?"
"They didn't get me what I needed and they lost there part of the bargain."
I sighed and couldn't be asked to deal with this.
"Whatever Kazimir, you do what you want."
I walked towards the elevator and pressed the button. I'm so stupid for even coming here. I thought he was drinking or going on a kill spree.
Hems perfectly fine. He's fucking all the women in Atlanta, good for him.
"Why did you come here?"
"It doesn't matter since I'm leaving."
I pushed the button more aggressively this time. Why the fuck is it taking so long. This is fucking annoying.
"Answer the question," he pushes.
"Go back to your bimbos."
"I rather have someone else right now."
"I really don't care who you want to fuck right now," I scoffed.
I could hear him coming closer to me, but I just kept pushing the button. What the fuck is wrong with this building.
He turns me around and I roll my eyes. He was really desperate to see me.
"Don't ignore me, mysh. I wanna know why you came here."
"God damn it Kazimir, I am not a mouse stop fucking calling me that. I came because Alexei was worried about you," I shouted.
"You can because Alexei was worried? Really I thought you was a better liar than that. You was so wordy not to long ago, why are you so quiet now?"
By the tone of his voice and the way the were coming out, I realized this wasn't his his first drink.
"Let me go," I mumbled.
"No, I want the truth," he says.
"I came because of Alexei."
"Of course you did, did you two fuck again?" He taunts.
"No, we didn't and you shouldn't be talking. Look at where you are."
"I'm here because of you. If I was so fucking fascinated by you none of this would happen. If you just wasn't so."
"If I wasn't so what? The opposite of what you want? Did you wish I was white with blonde hair and blue eyes. I listen to everything you say and I wasn't this fucked up?"
The elevator door opens and I have never been so grateful. I step back into the elevator and I press the ground floor.
He looks at me with a familiarity, I have seen before. It's really not the same. They aren't even the same person.
The elevator door closes and I let out a sigh. Why did I come here. This was so out of character of me. Imani, what were you thinking.
***
I turned on the tv and put on shamless. It was our show to watch, but I doubt it was happening again.
I had three pre-rolls, so I was good for the night. I had a bottle of Wray and nephew's to feel just at home.
I knew I was going to get drunk easily, so I can prepared with plentiful amount of food. I get a glass and pour a hefty amount of it and mix it with Cranberry juice.
I pressed unpause and started to watch. I was eating and drinking like no tomorrow. I smoked ten minutes in, so the mix was euphoric.
A knock came from the door and I got up. I tried to walk in to the door, but it was like a zig zag. I struggled to open the door.
I finally got it open and Kazimir stood at the door.
"Can I come in?"
"No not really, I don't see the reason why you need to be head," I slurred.
"So much for not drinking."
He lets himself and I just stare at him in disbelief. Honestly who does he think he is.
"Leave, you have no reason to be here," I said.
"You're watching shameless without me," he fake pouts.
"What do you want, don't you think we have had enough of each other."
"No, not enough. You're right. You are the opposite everything I want. You're aren't my type, but I can't stop thinking about you. You're on my mind all the time and it made me go soft, like a Teddy bear. I'm not used to feeling this way and it's making me confused. We left on a wrong foot, so I guess I want to make it right."
"Well done for gaining so character, you feel a way towards me yet I don't give a shit. In a few months this won't matter, I won't matter. If you want have sex with me, just say that. Don't try swoon your way in," I expressed.
I went back to my couch and sat down. He was ruining my vibe. He came to sit down as well and got my glass and drank some.
"It only make sense that we're both high and drunk. After all I'm more fun when I'm intoxicated," he smirks.
I have never seen someone down Wray and nephew's like that. It was going to hit him so fucking hard.
I poured out more and he lit the zoot. We watched shameless and didn't bring up what just happened. We both were on the same level of cloud nine.
I laid on him and he didn't mind. He put his arm around me.
"You know, you're kind of my opposite. Juan was darkskin and had waves that I could barely touch. He had a beard though, so I played with that sometimes. He had less tattoos than you. He was not like you in the slightest. He was nicer and he didn't have this defensive attitude. He cared about me a lot. I shouldn't compare you with him, but you are the closest thing to love I have felt in so long. I don't know why, but it's frustrating," I explain.
"It's frustrating when one moment your all possessive and being dramatic. Then to this nigga that just turns into an asshole, but still wants to cuddle with me," I add.
"I'm not used to this either. I have never wanted to please a woman so bad until I met you. You don't really need to depend on me. You can always find another guy out there who doesn't live this lifestyle. It's uncomfortable to be so casual like TV romance with someone," he tells.
"I think you just projected it the wrong way and you lack communication skills. Killing and sex has been the only outlet, for me it's alcohol and weed."
"Is this the part where we kiss and I get you all to myself until tomorrow morning. Just for you to kick me out when you're sober?"
"Of course you fucking ruined the mood asshole, but let's just turn this sad moment into a funny moment of another dance session, then you fuck me for however long you want for me and I can throw you out in the morning," I laughed.
"That works as well for me," he smiles.
118 days remaining